This week I’m happy to introduce you to Donna as my guest blogger while Thom and I are traveling. Donna is one of the few bloggers I’ve met in person and now consider her a good friend. She is also one of the kindest and most generous bloggers I’ve encountered, and if you go to her website Retirement Reflections you’ll likely see how her big heart shines through in every blog post. Thank you, Donna, for filling in for me and sharing some of your SMART thoughts with all of us. Here are her ideas on why it is SMART to put our gratitude in writing.
As a long-time fan of Smart Living 365. I enjoy the journey of self-discovery and awareness that it provokes. I now try to look at ideas and concepts through a SMART lens. More and more I find myself asking ‘why?’ and ‘how?’ to oft-touted notions.
This is what happens to me when I encounter studies on gratitude. We have long-often heard that cultivating thankfulness can improve our happiness, self-esteem, relationships, and even our physical health. But how does this work? Is it merely focusing on all we have that magically improves our circumstances? If so, how does this ‘magic’ take place?
Recent research offers new insights into these questions. According to this growing body of work (examples here, here and here) the act of putting our gratitude in writing can physically change our brains.
In these studies, fMRI scanners were used to measure participants’ brain activity. Initial findings suggest that participants who wrote gratitude letters showed greater activation (including oxygen metabolism in cells) in the medial prefrontal cortex when they experienced gratitude. This region of the brain is associated with decision-making, self-control, and moral judgment. In some studies (example), this positive effect was found months after the letter writing activities had ended, suggesting that gratitude may have a lasting impact on the brain. Other researchers in this area, have noted that when we experience gratitude, our brains flood with dopamine, rewarding us with a natural high and causing us to want to repeat this feeling.
Also significant in these studies:
• Participants who engaged in gratitude writing activities during the studies reported notably improved mental health. Participants in the control group who did neutral, or no writing, did not indicate similar improvement.
• The positive effect of gratitude writing was not only noticeable twelve weeks after the studies ended, these improvements often increased.
• For those who wrote gratitude letters, the mental health benefits remained even if their letters were never sent or shared.
• When participants used fewer negative emotion words in their gratitude writing, they were more likely to report better mental health.
• Mental health benefits of gratitude writing did not emerge immediately but gradually accrued over time.
• Benefits of gratitude writing were also substantial in participants who struggled with mental health issues (and when combined with counseling showed more gains than the control group who received only the counseling).
While researchers admit that the above findings are not definitive and more studies are needed, their current work suggests:
• Looking at changes in brain activity can help us better understand the wide-ranging benefits often attributed to gratitude.
• Thankfulness can shift our attention away from negative emotions and reverse our priorities to help us appreciate what we have, lessen depression and increase well-being.
• Once we begin to focus on things to be grateful for, our brains start to look for more things for which to be thankful (confirmation bias).
Much of the research in this area indicates that the act of being grateful, without ever putting our thankfulness in writing, produces many benefits. However, the above studies show that those who participated in gratitude writing often showed increased mental-health benefits over those who did not.
When I finished the first draft of this Guest Post, I shared the topic that I had chosen with Kathy. She had just finished writing a post on the same subject. It was no surprise. Sustainable. Meaningful. Aware. Responsible. Thankful. Fully embracing gratitude is all of these things.
Okay, your turn: What is your experience with gratitude writing? Please share your thoughts below.
About: Donna lived in Beijing, China for fourteen years. Leaving international life behind, she and her husband retired to Vancouver Island, Canada, in June 2015. To document this transition, Donna initiated Retirement Reflections. Her favorite part of blogging is the interaction with others. You can connect with Donna in the comment section below, or via the following social media sites. She would love to hear from you.
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About: Donna lived in Beijing, China for fourteen years. Leaving international life behind, she and her husband retired to Vancouver Island, Canada, in June 2015. To document this transition, Donna initiated 
Hello Donna,
I loved your post. This actually answered a couple things that happened in January 2019. I can honestly say that gratitude letters are something that completes a part of you. I know that mine did when I wrote a speech for my grandpa’s memorial in late January. It was about how my grandpa was an extraordinary man. I put thought into it and made sure I included everyone in this speech, his kids, grand kids, and great-grand kids because he did a lot for each one of them and more people. Well, after writing and reading this gratitude letter I felt at peace and happy for doing it. While in the process of waiting for his funeral day my mother came up with the idea of every family member writing in a heart to him and throwing it when the time to bury him came. When the time came to write I was honestly out of words and inspiration. I am not sure if it had to do with the stress of other things or because I had already said everything in the letter. After reading your post I want to say that the letter was the reason to why I didn’t have much to say in the heart. All I know for sure is that I do feel very fulfilled and accomplished for writing that gratitude letter, so thank you for informing us on the benefits of writing gratitude letters.
Donna, this is such an important way of cultivating an awareness of all that we have to be grateful for in life. An attitude of gratitude helps to support individual mental health, and also focusing on the joys of life is a powerful motivator to actively strive towards leaving a beautiful, safe world for our descendants.
Jude
I try to practice gratitude daily but have never written gratitude letters. I think this is going to be a new activity for me beginning in 2019. Thanks so much for the wonderful post! Happy holidays to you and your family.
Hey Donna, Nice seeing you here! Like Liesbet, I’m trying to do a bullet journal next year and am planning on adding in a gratitude space. I do believe in the positive component Quite often if I’m grumbling in my morning journal, I’ll challenge myself to write 5 things I’m grateful for….and the grumbles go away. I also like reading other people’s gratitude lists…. it makes me realize I too have so much to be grateful for! An attitude of gratitude is one of my ways to practice positivity!
Hi, Pat – Thank you for adding this comment. I, too, gain a great deal from reading the gratitude writing of others. This past year, when I read about Janis’s gratitude for taxation — yup, taxation — (https://retirementallychallenged.com/2018/04/17/gratituesday-tax-returns/), I realized that I needed to expand my gratitude horizons. Good luck with your new bullet journal. Please post about it sometime and let us know how it goes.
Hi Donna and Everyone!!! Hello from Vietnam. I am having a wonderful and relaxing time on the other side of the planet and it is so great knowing that SMART Living and all of you are still humming along nicely. THANKS to you Donna for your guest post and everyone who is jumping in to comment and share ideas on the powerful message of gratitude–especially expressing our gratitude by writing it out. Please know I am checking in as much as possible and following along as much as I am able. Chao! ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – Great to hear from you. Your posts on FB look amazing. I am so glad to see that you and Thom are having an awesome time. All is well here. I’ve learned a great deal, and have been very inspired, by the comments left.
Hi Donna, for many years I have kept of folder and cards and notes that others have sent to me- those that show appreciation or kind words. I take out this folder and look at the notes when I am feeling down and it reminds me that my actions make a difference in the world. It also reminds me how powerful words are to others. Your post is a nice reminder, especially this time of year.
Hi, Michelle – I have a folder like that too. Although I downsized it a bit, it is very meaningful to me. Never underestimate the power of a kind word! Wishing you and your family a safe, happy and peaceful holiday season!
You are both experts on gratitude and that shows in your life, your smiles, your writing and the decisions you make. Based on all that, and the fact that you are both positive thinkers, must mean all you’re writing is true, Donna. 🙂
I have a lot of respect for people who see the good in everything and exercise gratitude. Some days, I do spontaneously contemplate on gratitude and things I’m happy about or thankful for. Other days, not so much.
Today, I set up a bullet journal (a birthday gift from my best friend) for 2019 and in it, I made room for daily gratitude and space to write about what I’m thankful for. It’s a start! 🙂
Hi, Liesbet – That’s a wonderful start, and an awesome gift from your friend!
Did today’s entry include your gratitude for meeting up with Janis and Paul last night? Yup, I’m still a tad jealous of the four of you meeting up without me. FOMO big time!! 🙂
It was a nice and tasty evening. I have to make up for missing everyone in the desert. 🙂 I had to look up FOMO! My journal will start on January 1st.
So glad that you had a wonderful (and tasty) time!
I completely understand about FOMO.
There are many acronyms that I need to look up. 🙂
Fabulous post. I’m trying, as part of my sentence a day journalling to write just one thing to be grateful for each day. Sometimes it’s tough – especially if I’ve had a bad day in the office…at which time I write about how I’m grateful I have a job that gives me the flexibility to work at home…or something like that.
Hi, Jo – Including gratitude in your Sentence a Day journaling is a great idea. I have a friend who, when frustrated with housework, cooking, her job, etc., etc., quickly turned her negative thoughts around by focusing on her gratitude for her house, her abundance of food, her job, etc., etc. At the time, I thought she was crazy. I’m now beginning to understand that she was wiser than I realized!
Nice to see Donna here on your blog, Kathy. I love this, Donna, and I’ve done a study in my own life and proven to myself that gratitude makes me happier. And it helps to write it down. I’ve kept gratitude journals off and on for years, and restarted the practice recently. I’m writing down three things every day that I’m grateful for – this is an achieveable goal and so far I’ve been faithful to the practice. I find it helpful to look back on my entries if I’m having a down day to remind myself how much I have to be thankful for. And here’s one for today – I’m thankful for you!
Hi, Molly – I’d love to hear more about your personal study on Gratitude. I am gathering more and more excuses to make that trip out to Maine. Thank you for your kind comment – especially the closing line. Ditto right back to you! 🙂
I started to actively work on gratitude after my 50th birthday, several years ago. I went to meetings, I kept a journal, I even had a gratitude object, which prompted me to be grateful whenever I touched it. I realize now that I was extremely negative before that, and those efforts served to turn my life around. I appreciate all reminders to feel and show gratitude—we can’t have too many of them!
Hi, Diane – I have been following your blog for several months now. I would have never guessed that you once would have described yourself as ‘negative’. I don’t see that in your writing at all — actually quite the opposite. Thank you so much for sharing this. It is inspiring to learn from the experience of others.
How kind Donna! The truth is we all go through bad patches from time to time, and I definitely experienced one a few years ago after a divorce. It took work and a great deal of introspection, but I came out of it thriving and much happier. Thanks!
Hi, Diane – We do all go through rough patches — many of which mess heavily with our self-esteem. I’m so glad that you came out of it thriving and happier. I’d add ‘wiser’ as well!
Hi Donna and Kathy, it’s great to see you both talking about gratitude! I am often blown away with your abilities and the research you do for posts Donna, and this post combines both of these. Your descriptions and explanations show clearly that the actual act of writing things down does help our well being. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and and am grateful to have you as a blogging friend. I love Leanne’s idea of a gratitude jar, we had something similar at work and deposited thankful notes throughout the year. At our Christmas lunch we would read through the notes and enjoy the events all over again!! Thanks again for your posts.
Hi, Debbie – Thank you for your kind words. I find your writing to be uplifting and encouraging as well. I like the ideas of the ‘thank you note system’ that you used at work. At one of our Middle Schools, we took all the teachers on a retreat. Before the retreat, we had students voluntarily write a thank you note to a teacher who made a difference for them. We balanced out the notes the best that we could and slipped the notes under each teacher’s dorm room door on the last day of the retreat. It was incredibly powerful. A couple of those teachers that I am still in touch with say that they still have those notes today (and it was over 20 years ago)!
Great insights, Donna. Wonderful guest post. I think writing what we are grateful for is a terrific practice. I also think that expressing thanks to others in the form of thank you cards is getting to be a lost art and one that should definitely come back.
Kathy, wonderful choice for a guest poster!
Hi, Janet – Thank you for your kind words. I agree that hand-written thank you cards are less and less common. I greatly appreciate when I receive them. My goal is to send them more frequently in 2019.
Hi Donna, Thank you for an interesting and thought-provoking post. I write letters to people because in the past, receiving a kind note has made a huge difference in my life, oftentimes when I needed it the most. The other reason I share my appreciation is because I want to tell people in the living years. Many of us have lost people we can no longer thank. Very interesting information on how our brains respond to actually writing the gratitude letters. I did not know this. I am part of the generation where many of us had Gratitude Journals. Now, I reflect on my Gratitude moments only in my head. And Donna, I really appreciate your kindness and making me feel supported and welcome in this virtual online world.?Erica
Hi, Erica – I feel the same about thank you notes. When I was working, I kept a ‘kind words’ file of positive cards/notes from others. I agree — they can make a HUGE difference! I still have a ‘kind words’ file in my Gmail folders. Thank you for your generous comments. It is wonderful connecting with another Vancouver Islander!
Thank you, Donna.
You’ve given me something to write in this empty journal I have. Now if I can just find a pen… 🙂
Thanks, Aimer.
Pencil, marker, crayon, sharpie, lipstick….these could all be fun writing tools too!
Hi Donna,
Thanks for referring me over to this great blog…I am still in the process of exploring what this blogging community is all about…
I love the research part of this, data that supports what we have suspected all along. But I personally am not good about journalling, and have not actually tried writing down my daily gratitudes. Leanne’s Gratitude Jar is something I may try!
Nancy
Hi, Nancy – I am happy to introduce you to Kathy Gottberg’s Smart Living 365. It’s an awesome site with inspiring and thought-provoking articles. I, too, like Leanne’s idea of a ‘Gratitude Jar.’ And a small, sincere ‘thank you’ in a Christmas card counts too!
Donna – thanks for sharing this info. It does make so much sense. From time to time I get into sprints of keeping a gratitude journal – this is a bit of a nudge to pick up the practice again. 2019 here we come….
Hi, Janet – Thank you for stopping by. We all need nudges (me especially). The start of a brand new year is a great excuse to….well…give up our excuses!
Hi Donna! Nice to see you on Kathy’s blog! She is right about your generous heart and fun personality! I love this info about gratitude and just having a thankful spirit all through the day. It is so easy to grumble about the small stuff and have it roll into an ever-increasing giant ball of bad stuff which simply just robs us of our joy! I’ve learned to just thank God for getting a green light when I’m driving in a hurry some where, and that in itself seems to calm me down a little. I could use more written gratitude for sure, a great reminder, Donna!
“An ever-increasing ball of bad stuff that robs us of our joy.” That’s such an awesome description!!
One of the things that I love most about blogging is how it helps us remind each other of the truths that we already know, but sometimes overlook.
Thank you for the kind words!
Hi Donna! Lovely to see you as a guest writer. I can definitely understand that writing our gratitude would reinforce our thoughts and feelings. It is also helpful to be able to go back and read previous entries, especially if your day is not going so well. It is strange that I have no problem writing blog posts but find it difficult sustaining a journal. You have made me try again. Have a beautiful day xx
Hi, Sue – Thank you for commenting here. I am not a journal writer, but I do like writing notes to friends and family. This research was a great reminder for me to do more of that. I also liked Leanne’s ‘Gratitude Jar’. That has tons of possibilities!
Hi, Donna. I liked your ending here, in discovering that Kathy had just written something very similar to your own. It’s that synchronicity among bloggers that I really enjoy, which I don’t think simply happens because two people are reading each other’s posts on a regular basis. Rather, I think it’s the pleasure of the creative process, in this case writing, that establishes that symmetry. That you’ve bundled it here with the concept of gratitude reinforces that point splendidly.
Hi, Marty – I also love the synchronicity among bloggers. Established by the “pleasures of the creative process”. I had never really thought about that before. That’s another thing that I like about bloggers — they challenge each other and make us think!
Hi Donna,
Love your post on gratitude. I don’t journal as much about being grateful as I could (i.e. daily) but I think I will make it a regular topic going forward into 2019. Even if it’s just a word or two per day. I know I reflect daily on my blessings, and as a result am quite happy and content 99% of the time. Having an attitude of gratitude is essential to self-care, in my opinion.
Thanks!
Deb
Hi, Deb – 99% happy and content is an awesome ratio. I am super excited about meeting up in January. So much to talk about!!
Yes! Looking forward to this!
🙂
Hi Donna – It’s great to see you here. Every day I think of at least three things that I’m grateful for. Your research gave me a nudge to write my gratitude down more often. Thanks, Kathy, for hosting Donna.
Hi, Natalie – Your idea to focus on ‘three areas of gratitude’ each day is an excellent one. It is short, sustainable and very meaningful. I may incorporate this into my practice as well.
Hi Donna! It’s great to see you hear. I believe you and I are kindred spirits when it comes to having an attitude of gratitude. At the end of each day, for four years now, I’ve kept a happiness/gratitude journal where I write one thing that made me feel good that day. It’s been life changing. I remember you story about the 90 year old woman! Loved her! Have a great holiday with your family. Thanks for hosting Donna, Kathy!
Hi, Jill – Not only do you have an incredible attitude of gratitude, it is also combined with remarkable generosity.
I am thinking of you and your family this Christmas and sending warm, virtual hugs your way!
Nice to meet you Donna here on Kathy’s blog. It is fascinating how the brain works and the impact of writing on the brain versus just thinking or speaking about gratitude. Great push to write it down!!
Hi, Haralee – I agree that this research provides an awesome ‘nudge,’ and this holiday season provides the perfect timing. If we all wrote just one thank you note this week and sent it, it would be amazing to track the difference made!
Attitude of Gratitude! Love it. Thanks Donna!
Hi, Gary – I recently met a ninety-year-old woman who looked and acted twenty+ years younger. Having an ‘attitude of gratitude’ was her superpower. Our mindset truly can make all of the difference.
Hi Donna! Lovely to see you guest posting on Kathy’s lovely blog. You’re so right about gratitude – I hadn’t really differentiated between thinking grateful thoughts and actually writing them down, but it makes sense that the physical act of writing would cement things further. I tried the idea of writing in a gratitude journal but found it was a little repetitive – I’ve settled on a Gratitude Jar where I write a few things on a slip of paper each week and add them to the jar. It works really well for me and I’m looking forward to opening it and reading back over the year.
Hi, Leanne – I greatly appreciate you commenting here. I’ve gotten behind in my blogging these past couple weeks and have been missing you! As I am not a journal writer, I LOVE your idea of a Gratitude Jar! That makes so much sense and should be easy to implement and maintain. Thank you for sharing this.