I’m guessing that most of us are familiar with the saying, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice…practice…practice.” But what about the equally familiar saying that goes, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?” While doing something over and over again might look the same as practicing, I think we all know they are pointing out two different actions and mindsets. And from my way of thinking they explain the difference between a practice and a habit. Knowing the difference and consciously choosing one over the other is a SMART and mindful approach to living our intentions.
Okay, so you may be asking yourself how on Earth did she start thinking about that? It began when I was re-reading Seth Godin’s book, The Practice for the mastermind group I became a part of back in January. If you remember, back in December 2020 I wrote a blog post where I reviewed and condensed what I considered to be some highlights. After finishing the book and the blog post, I decided it would be a great book to use as a discussion or a framework for a “mastermind group.” Shortly after that four other people from around the world—a woman from Vancouver in BC, another woman from Brisbane, Australia, a couple from Oregon, and Thom and me—started meeting on Zoom every two weeks. Our intention was to discuss ideas from the book and support one another in our “practices.” Although our Australian dropped out early on, the rest of us have been meeting ever since.
One of the core ideas in Godin’s book is how important it is to create practices around our intentions. He defines a practice as, “…a choice. It’s a commitment to show up consistently, a posture of generosity, and a set of skills you learn by doing the work over and over again.” He is also very clear that we must continue our practice, “Even when you don’t feel like it. Especially when you don’t feel like it.” So while preparing for our Zoom meeting this week, I started thinking about all the practices I do on a regular basis—even when I don’t feel like it!
- Doing “morning pages” five days a week as inspired by Julia Cameron. I have been journaling this way for over 25 years.
- Walking 2+/- miles every day for 30+ years.
- Blogging on SMART Living for just under ten years with a blog post of some sort every Friday. Sometimes I posted more, but the practice is once a week.
- Doing daily meditation (with Thom) since 12/1/10
- Drinking a vegetable and fruit smoothie six days a week since Jan/2015
- Started taking Spanish lessons online for about 20-30 minutes DAILY since Aug 24th, 2020. That’s 215 days straight!
- Meeting with my mastermind group every two weeks since Jan 14, 2021.
Of course I have also started, tried and been a part of dozens of other practices on and off for years now. But when I took the time to look at what I consider to be my current practices, I realized how they define me. It is one thing to say you believe in something, and quite another to stick with it—day in and day out, year after year—even when you don’t feel like it.
The big point that I believe Godin hopes to make about our practices are the way we are showing up in the world. Ultimately he believes, like I do as well, that we are all creative and by choosing and following through with a practice that supports our innate creativity, we can gradually improve and then generously share it with the world (remember Carnegie Hall?)
Godin goes further by explaining the difference between a practice and a habit. He says, A “practice” is something done intentionally. You decide to do it yourself, or you decide everyone in your office will do it (if you are the boss). If you keep doing it, it may become a “habit” or may not. So, a “habit” is something you routinely do, without ever deciding to do it.” While a habit may be a good one or a destructive one, our practices point out what we believe and back it up with our actions about what matters most to us in the world.
At the same time, Godin believes that an important element to our practice is that we detach from any outcome that we “expect” to receive from it, and just keep putting it out. Will we improve? Probably—but that isn’t a goal. The goal is simply to keep doing the practice–consistently putting it out for the people who will “get it,” use it and appreciate it. This approach is generous and filled with opportunity, possibility and fairness. Even if it doesn’t lead where you thought it would, it will lead you to the kind of life you want to live.
I think the best example of that is that when I began doing my Morning Pages Journal so many years ago. I didn’t really have a goal in mind. I was following the advice of Julia Cameron who said it would help me become a writer. I took her word for it. It didn’t happen overnight—in fact it took years for me to consider myself a writer—but it happened. Regardless of whether anyone likes my writing or my topics, I like what I create and more importantly, I believe that there is a group of people who benefit from my work as well. My journaling practice got me where I am today.
The same with my blog. I wasn’t sure if what I was creating would be helpful or interesting to others but I have faithfully stuck by it all these years. My meditation practice, my smoothies and my walking are all things that keep me focused on the good health I hope to continue. My Spanish? My hope was that it would serve me well when we travel to Mexico (and Spain) so that I can communicate well in another language—oh, and I hope it keeps my brain healthy as well. My practices are concrete examples of my intentions and point me in the direction I hope my life is going. And you know what? Your practices (of lack of them) is a guidepost for you as well.
There is a great quote in the book that stands out for me by writer and sculpture named Elizabeth King. She said, “Process saves us from the poverty of intentions.” In other words, when we show up and consistently do our practices, they will carry us along toward the intentions we believe most important to us. It is that repetition and consistency that are the building blocks to an intentional life. So more than just claiming an intentional life, a practice gives us the stepping-stones to its fulfillment.
I have always been a big fan of the poet Mary Oliver and particularly the poem that ends with “When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” Like Godin I believe each of us is a creative being with a unique set of gifts to offer the world. Hopefully none of us leaves this world habitually thinking the same things or habitually doing the same things year in and year out. Perhaps the SMART perspective is to find and use any practice that guides us towards the life we want to live.
Great thoughts Kathy! Habits and practices – I think I have neither. But your post has certainly made me wonder if that is true – and if so, why? I’ve been a pescatarian for more than 25 years but otherwise, I’ll need to ponder and pay attention to discover if I have habits or practices. I sort of pride myself on being spontaneous but I like your thought that “our practices point out what we believe and back it up with our actions about what matters most to us in the world.” I no longer believe so much of what I used to believe – so perhaps I need to figure out what I believe first…
Hi Janet! According to Godin we all live most of our lives through habits. I believe he means these are the thoughts and actions and beliefs that we do routinely, mostly without even being aware of them. So I’m guessing you have more than you know. On the other hand, our practices are those things that we do repeatedly on purpose or by intention. I don’t think it interferes with us being spontaneous or not…we are just aware of our choices more so that we can set intentions more in alignment with our values, goals and purposes and then those become “good” habits rather than indifferent or even negative habits. Does that make sense? Of course you might want to consider what you are believing (or at least thinking) these days because like it or not, it is likely guiding your actions and thoughts in more ways that you realize???? At least that’s what I tend to “believe.” hahaha! ~Kathy
Very interesting post (as usual), Kathy. I love the distinction between habits and practices. I’m sure I have some of both, although I could probably use more intentional practices 🙂 The lines from the Mary Oliver poem reminded me of thoughts I’ve had about the year plus we’ve been dealing with Covid. I don’t want to come out of the experience with no growth, no enlightenment, or no realizations. I hope we learn from this era we are living through – one that will be written about in history books – about ourselves and others. We are not simply visitors.
Hi Janis. According to Godin we ALL have habits but that the majority of them are unconscious. That’s why he believes a “practice” can be a more intentional approach to creating habits that benefit us rather than just occur. And as for whether they will help us to feel that we’ve made the most of this “one wild and intentional life” I don’t know, but it sure doesn’t hurt to try right? And so true, who know what and how the history books will record these years far into the future? ~Kathy
Kathy, very helpful that you pointed out what you considered to be your practices. I have a couple fo the same ones. I also realized that they are not habits as I choose to do them daily or weekly. In fact, this past 2 weeks, unfortunately I have chosen to not practice a number of things – it is not lost habits. At first I thought I unintentionally missed doing them, but then I read your blog and realized, I did not show up to do the practice… and it was a choice. I’m not going to beat myself up, as we are intensely focused on packing and moving. I will get back into the all those practices (yoga 3-5 times a week, weekly Zumba, weekly new recipe), with a renewed appreciation of and commitment to them.
Hi Pat! You have an EXCELLENT excuse to relax a bit with your practices. I know that life sometimes gets in the way and we all have to make choices. Of course the real choice happens when you are all moved and unpacked. Do you return to your practices or just let them slip away. I’m guessing after reading your work for a long time now, you’ll be back at it because you sure seem to have all the necessary discipline to do what it takes. Perhaps one of the best practices we all should include is to be gentle with ourselves when the time comes. Looking forward to seeing how your life unfolds “after the move!” ~Kathy
Kathy
I love the quote from Mary Oliver, thank you for this post.
I have been intentionally journalling for many years and recently (since December of last year) added meditation back into my morning. For those days that my schedule impeded my routine, I missed it and if I found time later in the day, it is just not the same. I am not sure why I stopped mediating. It happened slowly and subtlety. One day here or there, then 2 days, then less than 7 days and eventually all together. I hired a health coach and it was her suggestion to add the meditation back into my day and I got right back into it.
Have not found the knack with smoothies! I am not crazy about cleaning the blender and have not found the right recipe for me (yet). However I am intentionally incorporating fruits and vegetables into meals and snacks!
Thank you again for another wonderful post
Hey Jamie! Isn’t that quote such a great reminder? In some ways it is points out how that sliding away from our practices (and yeah I think we all do it now and then) can happen easily and before we know it months/years have slipped by and “what???” Anyway, good for you for the writing and the meditation. Obviously I’m a fan. But as far as smoothies go, I must confess I’m not sure I would be “practicing” them without Thom. Okay, I wouldn’t–hahaha! That’s because he decided one of his practices is to make the smoothies for us both. I do help shop to make sure we have the ingredients and help with clean up, but as you point out they do take time. Like most practices they require a commitment. I’m am VERY fortunate to have him do the “heavy lifting” with them. Still, if we want to NOT arrive at the end of our lives having just “visited” this world, I can’t help but believe our practices are the building blocks of our best lives. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy!
This really got me thinking about the practices that I have tried and abandoned, the ones I use inconsistently, and the few that have really “stuck.” Which ones have stuck? Yoga, for sure, although there is never a time I don’t feel like doing it! I go to class at my studio 5 times a week, and today during class my yoga teacher managed to snap me out of some serious survivor’s guilt without either of us saying a word about it. 🙂
Otherwise, I would say eating breakfast, which is an important health habit, both physically and mentally. Also, my commitment to never feeling “hangry” is also kind of a practice, based on my work with my dietician on intuitive eating. I eat a lot, and I eat nourishing foods. My housework routine is a practice that I do once a week, based on Fly Lady (although I do it all in one day). With that is my weekly meal preparation (I order prepared meals when I feel too rushed for this, but healthy meals are prepared for us every Sunday, regardless). My daily vitamins are important, especially after recovering from Covid.
What practices would I like to add? Running, for sure, maybe 3 times a week to start. I have goals for this summer, and running does a lot for my mood. And journaling. I don’t do well with free-form writing, because I will work myself down a rabbit hole. But structured writing of any sort seems to agree with me. And maybe therapy. I no longer need frequent sessions, but I think I would like to just count on going once every school break (and of course more if needed). It is self-care and makes me feel better, always!
Hi Bethany! Thanks for sharing your current (and planned for) practices with us. I sometimes think putting them out for others to see is a commitment in itself. One thing Godin talks about in his book is how some practices are for ourselves alone and other practices are more like our “purpose.” I think the difference, at least from how I read it, is that your more purpose driven practices at those that you undertake to give to the world. Maybe not everyone in the world (and he is actually against shooting for the “masses”) but the gift you generously offer to the world. Just guessing but I would say of those you’ve listed your yoga that you teach and your writing are two ways you do that. One kind isn’t necessarily better than the other but the focus of his book is more about that generous gifts we have to offer others. Of course we have to take care of ourselves in order to have the energy and willingness to keep giving so practices in both realms are important. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
As usual your post is very enlightening and informative. You have re-introduced me to some books that I have thought about reading but never did. So, thank you for that. I couldn’t agree more that “practices” are important to our well-being. And, like Mary, our daily practices may seem mundane and boring to some however they help us achieve balance and a sense of purpose and fulfillment. And, really, that is what it’s all about, I think.
Very well said, “When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.” I love this quote. Everyone does have something wonderful and special to contribute to the world. It doesn’t have been earth shattering or monumental. But by all of us practicing our gifts and sharing them, the world becomes a much better place, I think.
I really love your writing style and topics! Very thought provoking and intriguing. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and ideas. I know, for myself, it helps me realize it’s one day at a time, one step in front of the other is what gets it done in the end. Practice and doing it until it becomes a wonderful, meaningful habit. ?
Hi Debbie! Thank you. And yes our “practices” don’t have to have any brilliance or glitter to them to matter to us. And it is probably better not to compare them to anyone else’s either (I know people who walk much further than I do every day and let’s not even talk about those who jog!!) What matters is what matters to us. And yes, I “could” slip in the word “rightsizing” if I wanted to because I do see so many things through that lens.
And thank you for your compliments to my writing although I am certain that it is a skill that I have learned through my practice rather than any particular talent. If you read Godin’s book he is pretty clear that talent means far less than the willingness to “practice” and improve our skillset. And as you say, one step at a time, one day at a time and then there you are! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. ~Kathy
You are so right. But oh, how I hate to practice! Godin reminds me of a quote I always remember from Annie Dillard: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
Hi Tom! I think the word “practice” actually sounds a lot like “discipline” which isn’t very popular either. But when it comes down to it that repeated action in pursuit of our dreams that help to bring them back. Perhaps the 10,000 hours rule is easier to take but it all boils down to your quote, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” Thanks! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, I always learn so much from your posts, especially this one. I’m going to read Godin’s book. I, too, have been doing morning pages — not as long as you. I started them about 10 years ago, then restarted last year. I’ll keep it up. Thanks for all the good advice.
Hi Kate. Glad you liked it. You can find a lot of his stuff on his website and he does a podcast (which I know you like) and also does a lot of interviews so if you don’t read the book you can get his wisdom that way. But either way, like we talked about in person when we met (so much fun!) I really believe in morning pages and all they bring to my life. If you get re-started I look forward to hearing how they are working for you when we get together next time you are in town! ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – This post makes great sense to me. I wholeheartedly agree that ‘practice’ and ‘habit’ are two separate things… at least originally. But as you say, practice can become habit. And when an intentional, meaningful, desired practice becomes habit…magic!
Hi Donna! Yes, until I write Seth’s book I never really thought about the difference. I tended to think of them all as practices. But far too often our habits are unconscious and those can become problems if we aren’t paying attention. I love your statement, “And when an intentional, meaningful, desired practice becomes habit…magic!” So true! ~Kathy
Thanks Kathy for sharing and modeling great commitments. I practice reading, exercising, eating healthy and it has really helped. Lets continue on this path…
Hi Gary! You’re welcome. I’m guessing that any of us who have found a good rhythm to life have practices in place that make it so. The important thing is to keep it up right? ~Kathy
I like this one Kathy! It echoed some recent thoughts that Kevin and I had that most of the good parts of our life are just very mundane but they bring us joy. Life it turns out is mostly mundane moments with highlights of chaos or esctasy. So making sure our “mundane” life feels true and honest and fulfilling has been a big part of our growth recently. It’s cool to see that you and Thom are modeling what we believe is a lifelong practice for us as well.
Hi Mary! I am SURE that if I had a family with three children I would be more challenged to carve out the time for regular practice but I do believe they can help. I’ve never thought of myself as the best writer but what I do have is persistence about things I really want to do. Oh, and knowing I can “grown my mind” helps me know I can always get better. I think your commitment to being true, honest and fulfilling is an excellent practice and it is a pleasure watching you “practice it” as you go through life. ~Kathy
Oh what a great post. I have Julia Cameron’s book sitting on my shelf, maybe it’s time I actually read it. Thanks for sharing these insights.
Hi Janet. Obviously I’m a big fan. I never got into her “Artist Dates” in the same way but the journalling has been so much more. Go for it! ~Kathy
What an inspiring post! I walk and write almost every day, especially now that I’m retired. (I set my goal for four days a week when I was working full time as a high school teacher — the weekends plus two days I set aside to stop work right after classes and give myself time for writing and exercise. I usually had to go back to work in the evenings on those days, but it was worth it to keep in touch with my body and my creativity. ) Now it’s easier in terms of finding the time, but there’s the problem of drift. For that, I find a loose schedule helps.
Good for you for the Spanish! We’ve been doing Italian, since we love Italy, and we do find people are complimented when one tries one’s stumbling best with their language….
Hi Nancy! Isn’t it funny that even with more time, if we don’t have a “practice” in place it is so easy to “drift?” For whatever reason I find it best for me to really stick to “streaks” (that is what Godin calls them) where you commit to those tiny steps on a regular basis to get things done. He writes a blog post every single day and didn’t plan it really, but is not up to over 700 days total. I don’t know what I was thinking when I first started journalling, walking or even my spanish…but I figure I can always squeeze in 10-15-20 minutes a day no matter what and so far it works.
And I started taking Spanish in HS and just never kept up at it. Every time we’d go to Mexico I’d say I need to learn Spanish but never had. So with COVID happening I finally ran out of excuses. I’d say all my “practices” have gotten me through COVID relatively sane! Now for the traveling. We are planning/hoping to go back to Ajijic in December for a month. do you have a trip to Italy in the plans??? ~Kathy
“Process saves us from the poverty of intentions” – that is a great quote, Kathy.
And this is a great post on the practice of daily…um…practice ?
Thank you for sharing these thoughts.
Deb
Hey Deb. Yeah that quote speaks to me too. It’s not something that is obvious and it makes you think about “why” that is. But the truth is that if we don’t have a practice or some form of discipline about what we really hope to be or do, it usually doesn’t happen. Glad you liked it. ~Kathy