Recently I was invited to join my first online book club through Facebook. The book to be discussed was Life Reimagined—Discovering Your New Life Possibilities. And while I was a bit skeptical about how a book club discussion through Facebook could be that helpful, this upbeat and practical book appeared to cover ideas I often read and write about—so I said yes. Now four weeks later I consider the book club experiment to be a relative success. But best of all, I discovered along the way some helpful ideas for us all to “reimagine” what I call a right-sized life.
What is a right-sized life? My definition of right-sized is a life where each of us creates an experience of life that brings us the greatest sense of well-being, peace, fulfillment and meaning. When you consider each of those elements separately it is obvious that we each will have a different definition of what works best for us. Right-sizing actually applies to every category of our lives, but it often begins when we reach a certain age where we begin to question what others expect of us (and maybe we went along with for a while) and then decide that it’s time to follow our own guidance and create the life we believe is possible.
Gradually through the years my husband Thom and I started right-sizing our lives. Along the way we decided we didn’t want, need or really desire to live up to the expectations of others. We also didn’t want or need the “stuff” that our culture (and some of our neighbors) thought was that important. We instead decided that freedom, peace of mind, a focus on what matters, and a more simple and sustainable lifestyle were at the top of our list. I’ve written about our path and many of the steps we took before so if you want more detail, here is a link to a previous post.
So what does right-sizing have to do with Life Reimagined—Discovering Your New Life Possibilities? In many ways they are the same. Interestingly enough, this book, which is authored by Richard J. Leider and Alan M. Webber, is also endorsed and promoted by AARP. But before any of you who are not big fans of AARP jump to conclusions (not to mention those of you who consider yourself way-ay-ay too young to be even interested), you might be as pleasantly surprised as I was by some of the insights offered in this book. One of the most profound and proactive ways it suggests we focus on our future is by beginning a conversation of “living versus aging.”
Think about it. When we approach life, especially life after youth, our society normally refers to it as aging. I hear it all the time, don’t you? Aging doesn’t sound positive. It brings up ideas of loss, unwelcome change, and decline. But what if instead of calling it aging we merely began to recognize it as ongoing life. Living versus aging not only sounds more positive, it is more positive. Best of all it reminds us that the entire journey of life isn’t over at a certain age, it just constantly changes, adjusts and becomes something new. So while reimagining may focus on many who are in the second part of life, right-sizing similarly is a focus on the journey of life at any age.
One of the more practical benefits of the book is a “road map and guidance system to help people navigate a new phase of life.” Its six steps to reimagining your life is a refreshing and useful strategy that any one of us can use to steer our way through whatever change we are facing. What are the six steps?
- Reflect. Before any of us make any change it is wise to reflect on where we are and how we got there. The book offers several suggestions that while not new to most of us, are great reminders for the need to be honest, open and aware with ourselves before tackling any big change.
- Connect. I’ve written about it before and the book makes it very clear—“Isolation is fatal.” Those of us who plan to live a long and happy life need to stay close and connected to others.
- Explore. I personally loved how the book places a big emphasis on the skills of curiosity and courage no matter what our age. It points out that far too many of us have made comfort and security our primary goal in life. When we do that we sacrifice possibility and opportunity.
- Choose. A big part of the journey of a reimagined life is being open to possibility and then narrowing down the choices that bring us well-being, happiness and a sense of great possibility. And remember, when we refuse to choose—that too is a choice.
- Repack. Of course before we can move too far ahead we have to let go of some of the old patterns, behaviors, people and “stuff” we’ve been hanging on to that no longer serves us. This step isn’t easy but it is very important before we can really move forward.
- Act. This final step is just that—a step. It doesn’t deliver us to a fully reimagined (or right-sized) life. Instead it reminds us that it is one action followed by another, then another and another that will gradually unfold into the life we imagine. Once we complete this “act” we then return back to the beginning of the map and start all over again, and again, and again.
One of the more fun things about reading this book along with others in our Facebook Book Discussion were comments offered by other participants. Most agreed that change isn’t easy but that having a support system and hearing others talk about the process made it more doable and fun. Most seemed eager to try the map and move forward, but as might be expected, a few resisted. The book explains why by saying, “What people seem to have expected is that by the time they’d reached this point in their lives, they’d have everything under control…. What we didn’t expect was that we’d have to keep figuring it out, no matter what our age.”
Life Reimagined is an encouraging book but it also points out that the alternative to “living versus aging” can instead be one of limbo, resignation, and “inner kill.” The book also states, “…you are responsible for shaping your own reality,” and reminds us that change and, “…reimagining your life is going to be messy.” Ultimately it encourages us to remember that, “You are in charge of your own experiment of one.”
What became increasingly clear to me as I made my way through the insights in this book was how its helpful steps can assist us in right-sizing our lives right now. Rightsizing provides us with a perfectly tailored goal of a SMART, happy and fulfilled life. And while we will never ultimately arrive at any final destination of right-sizing, continual reimagining helps us courageously navigate that journey in an ongoing and practical way.
Hi, “you are responsible for shaping your own reality” is absolutely true. I liked how you explained these things, the book sounds great… Thanks for sharing. Great post!
Kathy,
This is a great article. The six steps are really important, especially the one on taking action.
Rita
Hi Rita! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living. Yes, I found this book and it’s steps to be useful in so many ways. And ACTION is important for us all. ~Kathy
Great post, Kathy. This book has been on my list, but I’ve just bumped it up on the priority list.
Hi Mary! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living! Yes I do recommend the book and it’s an easy read with lots of great ideas.~ Kathy
I love the idea of living over aging. It makes so much sense how one wrod can make all of the difference. I think of myself as living and living vitally and consciously. I love simplifying and try to simplify everyday, but I am young and egaer to lvie to the fullest. I have tons of energy, so even while simplifying, I add more in. So it is an ongoing process to let go of more again. But I call this living so it’s all good!
Hi Jodi! Yes, doesn’t that idea of living over aging make so much sense? Living implies growing, changing, experiencing, expressing…and well, we all know what aging sounds like. I love how you describe your life as “living vitally and consciously.” Who cares what your age is as long as that carries on. And remember, simplifying isn’t necessarily getting rid of stuff–it is just focusing on what REALLY matters and letting the rest just wash away. Thanks for your thoughts on this and keep living vitally and consciously! ~Kathy
thanks for the thorough review and recommendation, Kathy – this one sounds like it might be a timely read for me.
Hope all is well with you and that you’re enjoying a respite from the summer heat up at Idyllwild!
Hey Nancy! I hope your August is going well. And yes, the temps here in Idyllwild are awesome. Unfortunately I was walking Kloe down the street and slipped on the gravel and twisted my ankle 🙁 The swelling is finally going down but it definitely slowed down our walks and hikes! While I’m not nearly the hiker that you are, I still don’t like sitting so much. I’m hoping to get moving this week…..Meanwhile it is good to have interesting books to read and blog posts to write! Hope your summer is going well too. ~Kathy
I really enjoyed this article. I’m currently in the middle of right-sizing my life, which is extra challenging because life is refusing to stand still long enough for me to run the necessary diagnostics, if you know what I mean. But with two new little ones, a new house, a new job and soon a new job for my hubby, we find we’ve got too many balls in the air if we also add in vacations, stuff and the type of social roster we used to keep regularly. It’s definitely time to take stock and cut the fat, but it’s hard because none of the fat feels like fat! Sometimes, though, minimalism is important not for its own sake (or the glory society has lately attached to it), but for the peace of mind it offers you amidst hectic surroundings.
Hey Sarah! Good for you for taking steps towards rightsizing your life. When you have a lot going on in your life it isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s still doable. And that’s why I actually prefer to call it right-sizing instead of minimalism because it points out how necessary it is to make it fit your unique and special circumstances while you are going through it. The fat, the complications and the circumstances that lead to stress can gradually be whittled away to what works best for you and give you freedom and peace you desire.
Either way, the Life Reimagined book helps us ask ourselves the questions that can lead to the changes we are looking to find. Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
You know, I saw a few women picked to be part of Life Reimagined and so I never thought much about being a part of the book club. I have no idea why. You reignited the thought of reading this book, because it is something I’d be very interested in reading. Thanks for that, Kathy.
Hi Cathy! I do really believe you’d enjoy the book. It’s an easy read and brought up some really good perspectives on change, intentionality, and looking to the future with positive expectation. The book club was interesting too…probably the worst thing about it was that it was a Monday morning/noon thing and Monday’s are always crazy busy for me. I would have participated even more if the day or time had been different but it was a good first try. Of course I’ve STILL never done a google hangout….that’s something I need to try for sure. ~Kathy
Sounds like a great read! I like the changing attitude, overall, on “aging.” I wrote a blog post about the 30’s being better than the 20’s, and all my friends said, “Just wait until you turn 40–it gets even better!”
Hi Bethany! I do think you would get something out of the book–everyone would really–even though it is mostly being targeted at the baby boomer generation. I’ve always admired you for being self-reflective and this book is just a great way to do that. And yes! 40’s are good but 50’s are spectacular! 🙂 ~Kathy
Kathy,
I really enjoyed you synopsis of the book. I’m actually reading it currently. One thing about Life ReImagined is knowing we can and should be intentional with our lives (actually at any age) People need to worry less about what people think, who to impress, what expectations to meet and sometimes it does take half a lifetime to realize that.
I am a firm believer in creating a PLAN B for your life and maybe a C, D, etc. and I think we should teach younger people to do this earlier in life because I think it would make our lives less complicated and more satisfying.
We leave imagination to children and yet have so many more skills as we get older to create a more satisfying scenario. Enjoyed reading your thoughts!
Hi Kathy! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing YOUR thoughts on this! Yes, the book does make the strong point about being intentional (and yes I agree that is essential at any age). I was quite delighted that AARP is taking such a proactive approach to moving forward and helping people create PLAN Bs, Cs etc. I’ve never considered “retirement” a time where a person should just stop working and find things to fill up their day. And while I can understand while some people might so dislike their job that they can’t wait to get away from it and “do nothing” for a while, it seems so fatalistic to believe that life is just “nearing the end” and they have nothing more to contribute. The trick, at least from the way I see it, is to come up with those flexible Plan B’s etc. and figure out how to continue to grow, change, learn and contribute in ways that nurture your soul. I never think of a person as old who continues to do just that. Thanks for the thoughts, Kathy
Yes I did finish but I think this is one of those books I will leave lying around nearby as I continue to make significant changes in my life. I am not a midlifer. In fact I think all the names we call ourselves are funny ways of not really dealing with truth. But you asked what I thought was the most important thing. For me it is acknowledging uncertainty and fear and continuing to walk toward it. I am no longer frightened of change. I welcome it. Leider et al have done a good job at talking about these themes for adults. Who said “ongoing.” I like that.
Hi Patricia! Thanks for popping back in with a little more insight. Hahaha! Yes, I agree that the names we call ourselves can be pretty funny….that’s why I really liked that mention in the book about how we limit ourselves if we tie our identity with a number. And I also agree that it offers powerful encouragement for facing uncertainty and fear. Kathy
Such interesting, relevant content here, Kathy.
This sentence really stuck out: “when we refuse to choose—that too is a choice.”
Never thought of it like that! xx
Hi Kim! I sure thought this gave us all lots to think about….and yes, no choice IS a choice! ~Kathy
This is an issue a friend and I were discussing yesterday: How to balance the part-time work we are continuing to do in “retirement,” and recognizing that the work on those issues is now up to the generations coming up behind us. Coming to terms with the intellectual excitement of continuing to be involved in the issues of our careers [we’re so experienced! we can do it so easily!] and letting go enough to relax and get involved in other things: where is that magic golden mean? I’m going to check out Life Reimagined and share it with my friend.
Hey Penny! Nice to hear from you and thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Ah yes….the illusive “magic golden mean!” That’s why I find the idea of “right-sizing” so important. Just about everyone I talk to seems to have their own individual idea of what equals that “golden mean.” Some people seem relatively happy to do it in a way that would drive me crazy. And on the flip side I’ll just be that there are people who think my idea of rightsizing is completely unsatisfying. What I thought the book offered was the questions that could lead to greater self-awareness about what would REALLY make YOU happy and allow you to find that balance you are seeking. It doesn’t offer much advice about what it looks like (any more than right-sizing does) but it does tell you that the alternative is “inner kill” and I don’t think I have to describe that much for you to get the idea. Learning, growing, living and changing are something we all need to do if we want to stay engaged with life no matter what our age. Thanks again for your comments. ~Kathy
This sounds like a wonderful book. I think that as we approach midlife, we really all do need to re-evaluate and access what we have , where we’re going, and where we want to be. If the paths are not running in the same direction, it’s time to reaccess.
Hi Doreen! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. It is a good book and a fast and easy read. There are also lots of resources on the internet — a special website and all–where people can take quizzes and get ideas. I primarily loved that it was a hopeful book about creating a much more interesting and adventurous future for ourselves than many who approach “retirement”. Just because we get a little older doesn’t mean that we can do all sort of fun and productive things as we go along. Hopefully this will inspire many people to do jus that. Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Over time the detours of life takes us to funny places.
Love how the book broke down the steps to making intentional changes to our lives and circumstance.
Hi Bola! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. Yes, “Over time the detours of life takes us to funny places.” Of course I don’t know about you but I am determined to keep moving as long as I am able and no matter my age. There are LOTS of resources out there about helping us to make change and this is another great one to add to the collection. Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
What a thorough review and happily for your readers a book you enjoyed. I too wondered how the FB book chat would go but I thought it worked pretty darn well with this kind of book. Not sure how that might work with fiction. But maybe it could. Nice to find your blog via your response on urbannaturale’s post. Just scrolling around.
Hi Patricia! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. Yes, the book club did work pretty darn well. And like you say, I think this book had something to do with that. It is relatively short, asks a LOT of questions and generates all kinds of thoughts. Did you finish? What did you think was the most important thing in the book? I’d love to get feedback if you have the time. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Reimagining life is always interesting and I have often done it but all imaginations are not always acted upon – there could be many constraints.
Life happens as we keep making plans or as you say, reimagining! Do I seem a fatalist? I used to scoff at those who blamed the destiny and circumstances for the failures, for want of seeking possibilities but I wonder now…how do we miss those opportunities?
Your book club discussion seems to be quite interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Balroop! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I do agree that reimagining our lives isn’t always easy–but all I have to do is consider the opposite. I have an over-active imagination and it actually serves me to keep it focused on things of the future and possibilities rather than circumstances I can do nothing about. Of course I do have a HUGE amount of freedom in my life and that definitely helps when it’s time to reimagine. You just may have less possibilities in your life and that could “appear” to make you fatalist. As you know, we all usually seek and find the answers we are dwelling upon. ~Kathy
Love the six steps… like why didn’t I think of that. I am going to pick up the book. Thanks for sharing!
Suzanne
chapter-two.net
Hi Suzanne! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. I’ll bet you enjoy the book. It’s an easy read and has something for everyone. ~Kathy
I really like the points you shared from this book. I will have to read it…
“Far too many of us have made comfort and security our primary goal in life.”
I think this is one of the biggest obstacles to growth and improvement on a personal, societal, and environmental level which has almost become a cornerstone in our American culture.
Hi Michelle! I really thought this book offered some great suggestions for us all so I’m sure you would get something by reading it. I also loved how the book made curiosity and courage a part of ongoing learning and exploration. What keeps my husband Thom and I going, and I know from your blog it applies to you as well, that we love the adventure far more the comfort or security. Besides, I figure I’ll have plenty of time to dwell on that when I hit 90! Thanks as always for your comment! ~Kathy