“We get too soon old and too late smart.” ~Pennsylvania Dutch proverb
I read many online blogs and a large portion of them are about minimalism and simple living. That’s wonderful because I believe there is richness to simple living that goes far beyond having less stuff. I also think that since I’ve been embracing it more and more, my life has become happier, less stressful and far more meaningful. But something I’ve noticed is that the vast majority of blogs about minimalism are written primarily by those in their twenties to thirties. And while I’m psyched to know that young adults are embracing the lifestyle, I also believe that maturity offers a perspective that should not be overlooked. In fact, it is often those who have lived through multiple choices and experiences that have the most to offer others. That’s why I thought a few perspectives from midlife should be included in any discussion about minimalism or simple living.
So what are a few perspectives that you gain in midlife?
- Being content, happy and at peace with aging (no matter what your age) is a critical minimalist practice. While it is great being young, the truth is every single one of us will spend much more of our lives not being young, if we are able to experience the gift of a long and healthy life. If too much of your happiness and self-image is attached to your youth (physically and mentally) you are setting yourself up for a significant disappointment in the long run. Learning to appreciate yourself, your life and your experiences at any age is a huge key to simple living and minimalism.
- The inner journey is the most thrilling and satisfying travel you’ll ever take. I love traveling and do it any time I get the chance. But I’ve learned that the inner journey to your own soul where you discover who your really are and learn your life purpose is the ultimate “trip.” By midlife we usually discover the truth to that wise adage: Wherever you go, there you are. And there is a very good chance that if we weren’t happy and fulfilled when we left that place—we’ll be exactly the same when we return.
- Everything in the material world is impermanent. While you might understand this intellectually when you are young, it frequently requires decades of getting things and then losing them, achieving things and then failing, creating things only to watch them wash away—all before you understand that everything is temporary. While not everyone “gets” this concept at any age, if and when you do grasp it, you start realizing what is really important and stop chasing after things that won’t last anyway.
- Everything is a leasehold, so sometimes it’s better to rent than own. Eventually every thing you own will be passed on to someone else. That’s right, you can’t take anything with you when you pass on. That’s why it’s wise to avoid getting attached to a bunch of stuff that you don’t really need over the long haul. In fact, everything you own, owns you to the extent that you have to pay for it, take care of it and then figure out what to do with it. Choose carefully what you do decide to own.
- Relationships are something worth keeping no matter what. I’ve written about the high value of relationships quite often on the blog so I won’t repeat all the numerous benefits. Just consider, living only for yourself might sound good when you’re young, but to those who’ve lived a long and happy life, it is our close relationships that are the most precious possessions possible. In fact, you’ll likely discover your true friends only after you think you’ve lost everything else.
- The health of your body will eventually affect every simple living goal you ever have. And by health I’m including not only you, but the health of those in your immediate family as well. If you, your spouse, your children or your dependent parents, are suffering from an illness or in pain, a list of 100 things to keep or throw away won’t matter too much. Pain in the body or mind changes all the rules, even in minimalism. This includes having, or not having the means to buy health insurance. If you’re lucky, this issue won’t touch you until you hit middle age, but when it arrives, it can and does rock your perspective on every choice and decision you make.
- Living frugally and retiring early looks different from midlife. It’s easy to see the excitement and delight of many young minimalists at the idea of retiring early and using all their resources to create a life filled with travel and self-expression. But things look very different when you become a family and reach middle age or older. Even when you think “you’ll never retire” you may be deluding yourself because nearly 50% of those who are retired today did it because they had no choice. Those retirees either lost their jobs and were unable to find new ones—or health-wise they were forced to quit. That approach to living as frugally and simply as possible, has much less to do with freedom and self-expression—and a lot to do with necessity. While both can be rewarding, the approach is vastly different. Never assume that how and when you “retire” won’t affect your plans.
- The best minimalists walk the talk. Lately minimalism has become very popular. That attracts a number of entrepreneurs who see it as a great way to be self-employed and create a business. And while many of them (especially if they are young) have nothing to lose by going “minimal” as a strategy for success, if that doesn’t work they will likely be on to the next new thing before long. Hopefully, by the time you reach middle age a person starts recognizing that unless a person can demonstrate what they are teaching and promoting in their personal life, they probably don’t “own” what it is they are selling. For that reason, it’s usually good advice not to go to a financial advisor who can’t pay their bills. Likewise, don’t go to a doctor that isn’t healthy, or take relationship advice from someone who has been married six times. It’s always best to follow minimalists that are walking their talk.
- Minimalism that doesn’t include the environment and other people is likely just a vain attempt at a new fad. Quantum theory proves that a butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the planet can affect storm clouds over my city—so how can anything you or I do not affect everything else? Our decisions matter, and how we treat our planet is similar to how we treat everyone and everything else. Simple living does not occur in a vacuum and should touch everything that occurs in your life.
- When you’re young, you don’t know what you don’t know. Okay, I was young once too and thought I knew just about everything that was important. The problem was I never even guessed at what I didn’t know. Once you make it past 50 you start realizing that there is a HUGE benefit to having lived long enough to make and learn from 100s of mistakes, experiences and choices. While not everyone who ages continues to learn and grow—if you do, you have an advantage that is priceless.
- The “best” minimalist practice is to be debt and mortgage free. While most simple living and minimalist websites recommend money management and being as debt free as possible at any age—the freedom and peace of mind that comes in middle age when you are debt and mortgage free is phenomenal. You might be content to live out of a backpack when you’re 25—but just about the only people who do that at 60 are considered homeless. While you might not be able to own your own home mortgage free and clear, if you don’t you will always have payments along with all the other costs (taxes, insurance, etc.). Going first debt free, then mortgage free in our early 50s, and then making sure all our other investments are also free and clear, has been the single most liberating step Thom and I have done to simplify our life. Don’t listen to anyone who says you need a mortgage for a tax write-off—that’s just another financial myth.
- Time is a commodity that gets more valuable as you age. Even if you believe that your time has value when you’re young, that will only increase as you age. In midlife you grow less tolerant of people who waste your time, work that is meaningless, and experiences that suck the life out of you.
- The very best minimalist practices are those that transform your awareness, rather than those that affect your stuff. One of the biggest problems I see in the world today is a focus on the external and material. That focus is found in an over-consumptive world that is both destroying our environment and leaving people with empty and unfulfilled lives. While approaching minimalism with lists of dos and don’ts might be one way to start recognizing the need for a more meaningful life, I don’t believe that approach is sustainable because it too focuses on the external. Until a person’s perspective changes on the inside, they will likely grow bored or leave the practice as soon as it becomes economically feasible. That’s why information about the “why” of minimalism is at least as important as the how.
There are likely plenty more advantages to seeing simple living from a more mature age. What do you think? From my perspective, my life today is so much better, happier, overflowing with more potential and freedom, and more fulfilling than it was ever in my 20s or 30s—and I can’t wait to see what comes next. Just like Frank Lloyd Wright said, “The longer I live the more beautiful my life becomes.”
I also believe at this stage in my life that many of us with a more mature and older perspective should be a little more vocal with things we have learned along the way and the advantages aging offers. After having lived through some of the most materialistic and self-absorbed eras on the planet, we owe it to those who follow after us to light the way to a better future. Hopefully, where we went wrong and what we learned from those experiences will stop those who follow from making the same mistakes. And to all those who come next—it’s SMART to remember that it is only going to get better as you age!
Posted in a Blog Hop Here:Small Footprint Fridays
Hi Kathy. I too just found your site thru No Sidebar website. I didn’t realize how old this post was until I started going thru the comments and noticed the dates. Thanks to Jen I realize I am not alone. Anyway, glad I clicked on the link. I think your points are excellent. I almost jumped up and shouted “YES” when I read “The health of your body will eventually affect every simple living goal you ever have;” and “Living frugally and retiring early looks different from midlife. ” Things happen that you cannot anticipate no matter how hard you try. I won’t bore you with the details but suffice to say I know from experience. I really appreciate you being so honest. I hope others will see your words.
Hi Susie! Thank you so much for stopping by and confirming that one’s age really does change how we see things like minimalism and decluttering. And while I applaud those much younger than me for finding reasons to embrace the lifestyle, I KNOW there are a lot of us our age and older than can benefit for lots of reasons. And I also think that the more we remind each other of those benefits and encourage either other to strive toward the possibilities, the better. I for one know I am happiest when surrounded by people who “get” what this means. Thanks again for your comment and please feel free to jump in here and comment whenever you can. ~Kathy
So nice to see conversation about minimalism not written by a 20 something. Don’t get me wrong, I love them! I have two children in their twenties. My husband and I have also gone down the Your money or Your Life” path like others here. The information on minimalism meshes with those ideas I think. I am very glad to find some kindred spirits out there Any you tube videos from this generation?
I found your site through a No Sidebar blog post and am so glad I clicked the link. I too appreciate the younger set embracing minimalism but at a 51 year old, single woman, I am on a somewhat different journey. Your points are spot on as I am still in the beginning stages of my minimalism journey. What I struggle with is “where I want to go” meaning that I am ready to chuck the lot but I still haven’t figured out what I want to do with the second half of my life. I have gotten my son through high school and now can decide what I want to do but I sit here like a lump on a log with just a blank stare. I am ready to get rid of things but honestly am not sure what to keep to support my “new” life. I just found your blog so I am off to read more posts. Perhaps you have provided more guidance in other posts. Again, thanks so much for sharing at your stage of life. “WE” definitely need to hear from more of our generation!
Hi Jen! Welcome to SMART Living and thank you for sharing your thoughts on this topic. As you said, our focus changes after a certain age and I believe we start realizing that minimalism and simple living are ideas that are much BIGGER than just deciding what to “declutter” in our lives. Good for you for recognizing that and starting to sift through your life to find out what is most important to you. I strongly recommend journaling as a way to get in touch with where you want to go from here. I tend to call that “search” rightsizing because it puts the focus on what is important rather than getting rid of stuff but it is all related. Good luck on your search and feel free to speak up and add your two cents whenever you question anything! Thanks again for coming by. ~Kathy
Love the idea of “rightsizing.” That really puts things in such a positive light! I am journaling and hope some wisdom appears on the page soon. I also read that ” by getting rid of things, we tend to find what are looking for,” we find ourselves and our essentials. Do you have any thoughts on that?
Great post!! I stumbled across this on a search to see if there is anyone out there like myself. At 47 I found myself single, no kids and living and working in my hometown (after having lived and worked in other cities and states/provinces). Since being “home” for 12 years I have accumulated SO MUCH CRAP and DEBT and a mortgage. Well, my gypsy soul finally woke up. I am selling the house, paying off debt and moving to the city. It is amazing how free I feel. The more I toss (including old attitudes, and ideas) the fuller my heart feels that I am finally able to let go of stuff and attitudes and ideas I had been holding onto. Proof you are never too old. In fact I welcome the knowledge of the age I am now. I envision WAY less “stuff” cluttering my mind and more real living. Thanks for the blog 🙂
Hi Kat! Welcome to SMART Living 365 and thank you for sharing your experience with us. And good for you for finding a way to let go of all that stuff you don’t need, and discover a better way to live. I call that way of finding your own individual minimalism, “rightsizing.” I love it how you say, “my gypsy soul finally woke up.” I so agree that you are never too old and I too agree that your move will lead you to more real living now that you are free of all that stuff. Please check back and share your journey with us. And never forget you are not alone–there are lots of us doing our best to live the same way. ~Kathy
Kathy- so glad to find this website! As I read the Jan 2015 reply from Linda, I realized I was not alone in my quest to find kindred spirits 🙂 I also stumbled on your site while doing a google search for minimalism, frugality and mid-life. I too, have found many interesting websites pertaining to minimalism by enthusiastic millennials. They are very inspiring, but we are in a different place now. We started down this path ( I also am more accustomed to referring to it as “simple living”) when we were in our 30s, after reading ” Your Money or Your Life”. We have taken some detours off the simple living path since that time, but overall, we are in a good position. I look forward to perusing your site and reading past and future posts.
Hi Sally! Welcome to SMART Living and I’m glad you found me. I do think there are more of us than we know and a blog sure helps us connect right? It sounds like you are actually further down the simple living path than Thom and I, but we’re doing our best to catch up. And yes, “Your Money or Your LIfe” is a classic that have helped so many of us. Glad to hear you are in a good position. Please feel free to share your perspectives on anything you read here. I continue to learn as I go and welcome ideas from everywhere. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! ~Kathy
I know this isn’t a current post but I stumbled upon it somehow by Googling midlife and simple living, or something like that. Really enjoyed reading this. Like you, I’ve been reading a lot about minimalism and simple living–almost exclusively written by younger folks. I applaud them for this movement that seems to be taking things back to the basics but I wondered where the voices from my demographic were in the conversation. Anyway, thanks for a refreshing post and affirming for me that I’m not the only one on this path. I’ll be following future posts from you.
Hi Linda! Thank you for stopping by SMART Living and joining the conversation. Yes there is so much about simple living that actually suits us in Middle age that I don’t think is being covered as much as it could. I see you have a blog and will have to pop over and check it out. It is such a rich topic that there is plenty of room for more of us to spread the word so jump on in! Thanks again for coming by. ~Kathy
Great post. Old Henry Thoreau had most of this figured out in the early 19th century. Less is more. Better to have a handful of great things than a pile of meh possessions. KISS is great advice.
Hi Mac! You are so right that this information isn’t new and has been around for many years (even before Thoreau obviously!) The advantage I think that current times offer is that we can encourage and remind each other about its truth. Thanks for checking in and sharing your encouragement! ~Kathy
So pleased to find this, even though it was written nearly a year ago. Like you, I read a lot of minimalist blogs, & appreciate the the perspective of someone older who has maybe made some mistakes along the way, & learned things the hard way (because I’ve made every mistake!). I started living simply just as a way to get rid of burdensome debt, but over the past few years it has transformed everything in my life. Wish I had learned this when I was young, but I didn’t – it’s never too late to change.
Hi Lian! I’m glad you found this post and joining the conversation. And yes, hopefully we can all say that we’ve picked up valuable lessons as we travel down the road of life. Of course, I also remember pretty well that even when there were those who could pass on information and help me–I couldn’t always hear it (and apply it) until I was good and ready. But I also know lots of people my age that could use this message so I just keep putting it out knowing that we all hear it when it’s time. And yes YES! It is never too late to change! Thanks again for your comment! ~Kathy
“Living frugally and retiring early looks much different from midlife.”
This is exactly where I’m at. I’ve figured out that the material things are getting in the way of being able to retire when I want, not when I’m supposed to.
Great article!!
Hi Terry! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and joining the conversation. Good for you for taking the step. Isn’t it so amazing that something lots of others seem to think is sacrifice is actually filled with so many benefits? And I love it when you say, “the material things are getting in the way of being able to retire when I want, not when I’m supposed to.” I’m looking forward to checking out your site too. Thanks again fro the comment. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy. Just read this one although I think it is older. I loved it. My favorite phrase was “In midlife you grow less tolerant of people who waste your time, work that is meaningless, and experiences that suck the life out of you.”
Time becomes precious. Being alone is a desireable place.
I also like your view of ‘young’ minimalists. I think you hit the nail on the head that when you are 60 and living out of a backpack, you are considered homeless. I always wonder how these minimalist younger writers are going to support themselves and their families when the time comes to do that.
Once again, a thought provoking column!
Hi Kelly! Glad you liked this one! I was prompted to write it after reading hundreds of posts by young and adventurous bloggers on the topic. There are so many right now and while they do have many valuable insights, and I admire their enthusiasm, there are a lot of things they miss from their perspective. And yes, the idea of chucking everything and running around the world with nothing more than a backpack looks much different at our age (at least mine!) You do have more than a backpack with you on your current trip right? 🙂 ~Kathy
Thank you for this excellent article. It’s a wonderful balance from all the blogs by young people. It also reminds me of my responsibility as a more mature member of society to be more vocal. Keep writing.
Hi Rebecca…thanks for your comment and the encouragement to keep writing. I agree that there are lots of young people embracing the minimal lifestyle–and they are writing about it and sharing great information. But there is so much that we can do as mid-lifers to both influence and encourage our age demographic even more. After all, we still hold a lot of the wealth in the country and have the potential to reverse some of the extravagance that we created before we are ready to throw in the towel! Yes! Stay vocal and help me spread the word!~Kathy
I’m definitely in the young camp and likely making many of the foolish mistakes on my way to your age and maturity! You can’t be born knowing, you’ve got to learn!
On the mortgage/debt question (my only debt IS my mortgage): I wonder what I’d do with my money if I didn’t have a mortgage. I currently travel internationally once a year. I work full time. And about half my take home pay goes on my mortgage. I can imagine if it didn’t I may buy more ‘stuff’ (though I like to think I’m minimal! I still am attracted to some types of things). I’d surely save, but like possessions, you can’t take the money with you either, when you pass on. I don’t seek early retirement – work fills my days, gives me a purpose. I suppose it’s something I grapple with.
Hi Sarah…I like to think that the only mistakes a person EVER makes are those they don’t learn from so I’m happy to admit I’ve learned a few things so far –but still have tons to go. Good for you for eliminating all your debt above your mortgage at your age–that’s a huge step and not accomplished by many. But I do encourage you to keep going and get rid of that mortgage if you can because it is impossible to realize just how much freedom comes when you do. Then once person has experienced the freedom and mindset that comes from such actions (like going debt-free and minimal), it opens the door to all sorts of creative purposes that never before seemed possible. Try it and let me know what you think 🙂 I’ll be reading YOUR blog too to see what happens on the way. ~Kathy
I really enjoyed this post! It’s wonderful to hear about minimalism from a different perspective than I normally come across on the internet. My husband and I are in our mid 30s and have spent so much time talking about how our two families have approached life differently and where they are now. My parents have lived a life that is pretty much just like your article. They have always lived simply. They live within their means, pay cash for everything (including their home) and really focus on time with friends and family. Because of this approach to living, they are quite well off. Of course, you would never know that to look at them. My husbands family looks like they have money and yet they are all struggling financially. They certainly know how to value family and friendships but they’ve followed a lifestyle of expensive cars, name brand clothing and all the other things that give an appearance of success. My husband and I are more closely following my parents example and are 2 years away from paying off our home. His family has tried to talk us out of this and it’s nice to hear from someone (other than my parents) that we’re on the right track!
Hi Katie…thanks for your comment! I’m REALLY impressed that you are two years away from paying for your house. Congratulations! I wish Thom and I had had that awareness at your age. It is so nice to hear that your family has passed on to you some really great (and SMART) living practices. It sounds like you also realize what is truly important and refuse to play the “keep up with the Jones” game that so many people fell into. Who knows? Maybe in the long run you and your husband will influence his family into seeing how wonderful and fulfilling your life can be without all that extra stuff holding you down. Glad you stopped by SMART LIving and please share your thoughts and ideas again–something tells me we can all learn from your example too! ~kg
WOW Kathy,
You have covered more than just living a minimalist life but how to live life. Your core idea that age and experience has value is right on target. For many mid lifers, minimalism was an out growth of a “journey” cluttered with things that only resulted in additional stress. Thanks for the blog; I will be mulling over your ideas for days.
C
Hi Christine! And you nailed it 🙂 I definitely made the post touch on most things that are important for “SMART” living at any age. Of course you write about that in your own blog all the time too. Glad I gave you some food for thought…you know that is one of my big intentions! ~kg
I appreciate lifestyle you said in here. Also I still young people but that is necessary to growth from I am. Then I can do many things that I love as my way as fit with my lifestyle.
Kathy, you have written some very wise words. I love the balance you give to a fascinating topic. I have read many of the minimalist blogs and books and have been thrilled by a new generation wanting to live simply and to live an examined life. As you say, though, there is a wealth of life experience that older people have……I guess one of the most important places to be is that of contentment!
How wonderful to be constantly challenged in life.
Hi Rosanne…Glad you like the article. You are so right about the wisest choice being an “examined” one and that contentment is key. Thanks for your comments….
Great post, Kathy! I noticed as well that the vast majority of those who say they are minimalists are the younger generation. I think it’s great to see in a time that is still very much a consumerist time to see young people rejecting that lifestyle. I do hope that like the 60s generation that wanted to see a different world that this young generation doesn’t follow suit and turn to the corporate world and the big houses later.
I believe there are more older/middle aged minimalists out there, but they tend not to use the term minimalist using instead frugal, simple, and other terms more familiar to them. I would have to say I live a minimalist lifestyle, but I rarely use the word in describing myself as one thing I learned I didn’t care for as I got older was all the labels we use to pigeon hole people into categories. I have always believed that labeling is the first step to prejudices.
Hi Lois! Glad you liked the post…I know you LIVE the lifestyle so it’s not new to you…and I agree…many of our generation don’t call it minimalism. I too sort of prefer simple living but I also think it’s because we realize it is so much MORE than just minimalism by the time you have a few decades on you! But after reading so many blogs by others that seemed to come from the same perspective–I thought I’d throw one out from our demographic. 🙂
Hi Kathy
I came to your site by way of Linkedin vis Alexa looking to review your site so I can do a review on Alexa.
I like your values and your outlook on life, my own site is similar in many ways, so we have some things in common. your articles are a delight to read, I can see it comes from the heart.
I wish you all the very best for the future, look forward to reading more.
Hi Mike! Welcome to SMART Living! Glad you liked my site and thanks for making a comment. I just went to your site and it’s great. We definitely share a lot in common….Kathy