Have you spent much time thinking about where you’ll be living in 10 or 15 years? Probably not. While many of us say we want to live long, active and happy lives, it’s easy to avoid thinking about what that will mean. Few of us want to consider where we will live, who we will live with, and how our days will unfold when we, for whatever reason, can no longer do what we do now. Even with our aversion to following the example of our deteriorating parents as they languish in nursing homes or assisted care facilities, we tend to avoid the conversation. Fortunately, there is an alternative. Co-housing or intentional communities offer baby boomers another option to rightsize their home, increase the quality of their lives, and age-in-place. And a good time to start talking about it is today.
Now don’t get me wrong. Cohousing is not just for seniors. In fact, the majority of existing cohousing and intentional communities are for people of all ages. Denmark is the pioneer of the movement with nearly 8% of their population living in a cohousing development of some sort. However, as the movement picks up steam here in the U.S., it is primarily being driven by its potential for satisfying a significant and growing need for senior housing. As baby boomers reach beyond retirement age and look firmly at alternatives, more and more senior cohousing communities are being designed and created.
What exactly is a cohousing community? The majority of cohousing communities are 15 to 35 private and individual homes built around a common area that encourages interaction. These “intentional neighborhoods” invite residents to be “neighborly” and stay socially active. Residents regularly and collaboratively plan community activities, meals and shared spaces. Nearly all have a common house with a kitchen and meeting space, while others have a garden, a pool or hot tub. What’s obvious is that when neighbors know each other well, it provides a useful solution for anyone who just occasionally needs a helping hand. While not an answer for serious medical conditions, it better serves the needs of infrequent medical emergencies, often allowing a person to live in their home to an advanced age due the sharing and cooperation of close ties to their community.
Intentional communities are similar but with slight differences. These communities usually evolve around a shared religious or political view, or an environmental or social ideology. Intentional communities are made up of all types of living arrangements including cohousing as I’ve described, large homes with many rooms, ecovillages, communes, ashrams, condos, and mobile home parks or housing cooperatives. While intentional communities also tend toward sharing resources, ecologically sustainable lifestyles and cooperative living, membership is often more intentionally focused around particular beliefs or backgrounds.
In nearly every cohousing or intentional community, the management is done democratically by those who live on the property and usually addresses the needs and desires of those in residence. What makes senior cohousing communities different? With a smaller square footage within individual homes; amenities are geared toward the requirements and requests of older adults. Common areas often include a guest room for visiting family members, or the potential to use the space as a studio apartment for live-in caregivers. AARP explains that these senior cohousing communities allow residents to, “..define their collective approach to aging in community, including the limits of co-care that they are willing to provide for one another.” Some take the time to spell out support and help in areas of shopping, meal preparation, driving or housework.
Top advantages to senior cohousing are the social and economic benefits. According to AARP, “Although the cost of a cohousing unit is often on par with or slightly higher than comparable units in the vicinity, overall costs can be lower after factoring in for energy savings, group entertainment, shared meals and amenities, and a cooperative approach to transportation.” Plus a sense of safety and security is enhanced because neighbors look out for one another more closely than in a traditional community. Best of all is the idea that residents can live independently and avoid institutional care for longer than in most single-family neighborhoods. That blend of privacy and community is a priceless amenity many will appreciate.
Most homes in cohousing communities are purchased individually, with public areas owned collectively like with a condo project. However, some communities offer people the chance to “rent before they own” to make sure that they are a good fit. Nearly all communities have a “vetting” process to ensure that the new resident understands both the benefits and the commitment that living in the community requires. As Pauline Binns, a cohousing resident since 1988 says, “On a day-to-day basis each of the 12 households is self-contained, but the philosophy is you get back what you put in. It’s the small things that work best. We help each other with shopping, drive each other to the station or airport instead of getting a taxi. It’s real community spirit.”
It’s not just baby boomers that are paying attention. AARP, Harvard University, and our government are studying the idea too. Each shares the concern of a growing U.S. senior population, knowing full well that a large portion of people as they age will be ill prepared. When asked, most seniors claim they want to stay in their current home as long as possible. But unless those homes remain affordable, allow a person to live there regardless of common age-related disabilities, are well located to provide social connections and fulfill needs, and remain affordable, the residents will be eventually forced to move—like it or not.
The thing is, I like where I am living right now and am happy with the services and privacy of my current lifestyle. When I started talking to my husband Thom about the idea of cohousing, he was confused. Why bother? Unfortunately, the truth is that most of us aren’t very good at anticipating our needs for the future. We also resist change until absolutely necessary. That mindset is a big part of the problem. If we as a generation put our entire focus on just maintaining the pleasant lifestyle we have managed to create for as long as possible, we ignore the possibilities and opportunities that exist to make our future even better. Plus, if any of us as seniors lose our spouse, our health or our income unexpectedly, we may be forced to make fast and sometimes drastic changes without planning. Not only do emergencies often impose drastic change, but they limit our options as well. Far better to think ahead, than leave that possibility to chance.
I’ve barely touched on the cohousing concept and am intrigued by some of the positive stories about people living in these communities. For that reason, during the coming year I plan to seek out some of those who are already making it work in their areas of the country and report it back to my readers. In addition, I have signed up to attend a conference in May titled, “Aging Better Together” to explore the value and benefits that cohousing might offer us all. Is a cohousing community in my future? I don’t know. But what I do know is that it is SMART for all of us to start thinking where and how we want to live as we age.
There are a lot of different types of communities for seniors, I haven’t heard about this exactly. Very interesting, thanks for sharing!
Hi Laurie. Yes, I think we will all be hearing more about them in the future. I definitely plan to write more as I learn more. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
I’ve been reading up and exploring these communities a lot recently. I would move in a hot minute 🙂 the husband is not so interested…
Hi Carla! The idea has more appeal to me than it does to Thom (my husband) as well. Not sure if that is a woman and/or guy thing but maybe? I do know that men are more used to be being independent. And while I consider myself independent, I know that Thom is far more than me. That might explain why there are far more intentional communities that are women only. That’s something I will be checking on in the future and will let you know. ~Kathy
I never heard of these communities but they are a great idea. We want to eventually move south to Florida to get out of the cold! My preference is to find a community where there’s a shared space to meet people and become involved. My in-laws live in a golf and tennis community with many activities, restaurants and events. It’s expensive and we probably can’t afford that but I’d like to see what’s available for us. Thanks for sharing this, Kathy. You are an endless golden resource.
Hi Cathy! I think this is an idea that can appeal to a lot of us. I also believe that the more of us that start talking about them and exploring the possibility the more options we’ll have when we get to the point that we really want to live in one. I also agree that current retirement communities with golf courses and other expensive amenities will be replaced with more sustainable properties that are super energy efficient, low water, with other environmental benefits. One thing I know for sure is that being social is a vital element that all of us will need to live to a long and happy old age. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Find a cohousing directory by state as well as lots of informative articles/blog posts at http://www.cohousing.org.
Hi Pat! Thank you for posting the link. I have also provided a link in the article to the upcoming conference. There are a lot of resources on the internet about cohousing that can be found by googling. Meanwhile I hope to add my own insights in future articles. ~Kathy
Kathy, I love the idea!
My husband and I are settled here for the foreseeable future, since we just got here, but I can already envision a time when we’ll be looking for something with a little more community around us. There are older people on our road, two of them recent widowers, and they’re lonely. The other neighbors spend time with them and help them, but it’s not quite the same.
What you describe also reminds me of the condo my mother lives in, but I guess cohousing is different in the intent and community planning specific to seniors?
Hi T.O. Yes I imagine that certain condo projects are somewhat similar to an intentional community but I think it all boils down to the intention of the residents. I’ve lived in condo project before and it was anything but intentional. So I’m thinking just about any type of property “co-housing” type arrangement could be morphed into an intentional community. I find the whole conversation interesting so I’m looking forward to seeing what I can come up with. You know I’ll keep you posted. ~Kathy
Kathy, I look forward to hearing what you learn in the upcoming months as this is something I do have to consider for myself in the coming years and don’t want the burden to be on my children to choose for me. What I have been considering is the option to have a caregiver move into the home I currently live in. It would seem the best option I can come up with but I am hesitant to make that my final decision as I quite enjoy having the house to myself.
Hi Lois! Thanks for coming over to check in with me. I’ve been hoping you’ve had a good winter so far and are staying warm. I’ve been busy getting my new book published–FINALLY~! But isn’t this idea interesting? I do really think that it holds potential for a lot of us as we age. In many cases this seems more viable to me than the “small house movement” because the versatility of the properties can satisfy the needs of so many different people. But I also agree that the biggest step for any of us as we age is giving up our privacy or control. But most of these communities seem to offer that option in many ways. At any rate I’m look forward to finding out more about them and sharing it with everyone. Meanwhile, stay warm!
Yes, it’s been mild as winters go around here. A few weeks of cold then a breather. Today it’s 60 but winter is expected to show up next week.
Congrats on your new book, would you send me the link so I can check it out?
Yes, the hardest hurdle for me will be giving up my privacy but having one person move in with me would be easier to deal with than the lack of all privacy a nursing home situation would bring.
Hi Lois! So I just went to your new blog….what on earth happened? The new site looks great by the way but I’ll have to read up on some of your happenings. And yes, I will send you an email about the book. Meanwhile here is the link on Amazon… http://goo.gl/9dcI7b Thanks for asking 🙂 ~Kathy
I just read the preview of your book and love that you started it with the story of the Mexican fisherman, it’s one of my favorites. I see you are only offering this in paperback, will you be offering an ebook version?
What happened, in a nutshell, is that my site was hacked and done very well I might add. I came very close to calling an end to blogging when I was unable to get affordable help restoring control of the site. In the end, I opted to start over.
I am not sure if this concept fits with what you describe. A couple years ago we were forced to move my father into a nursing home when his Alzheimer’s worsened. My sister found a senior residential home for him. A young couple bought a 4 bedroom ranch home in a local suburb. They took in 5 elderly residents. The master bedroom was large enough for two hospital beds, the other residents (including dad) each got their own bedrooms. Since we were emptying out my dad’s house and they were just opening, we donated a lot of items and they gave us a break on cost. They provided 24/7 care in a home setting. My father only lived 4 more months but he was definitely much happier there than the nursing home. They did an excellent job taking care of him. We only found two other places like this (one owned by relative of the young couple). However I think this idea will catch on and there will be more in the future.
Hi Suzie! I don’t know for sure but it sounds like what we call here in California to be “board and care homes.” They are normally homes with 4 to 6 bedrooms and have seniors live there. They are also normally the only possibility for seniors who cannot afford the nicer assisted living homes (quite expensive!) or some other arrangement, especially if there are no children, or children unable to take care of them. If a senior has nothing (or is willing to donate it to the state) the state will often provide it for people. It sounds like your father was lucky to get into one that he liked. Unfortunately I’ve seen some of those locally when helping to do service work in my community and the majority are not anywhere I would want to end up in given a choice. With something so important I don’t want to take the chance that I would find–or would be assigned to–a place that I would want to live. But thank you for pointing that out as something else we must consider. ~Kathy
I think I’m just a little too insular to cohouse. Interesting article though – I can see why you’re intrigued.
Hi Liv! I agree although my husband more than I. We’ve been VERY independent our entire lives so it is daunting to think about what that might require to live with others–even with lots of privacy. However, the biggest benefit remains the fact that we are all social creatures to some degree and when left with total isolation, few of us do well. ~Kathy
we have a lot of retirement villa housing groups in Australia – it’s a very popular way to downsize from a home to a villa in a community. I am a bit wary of them because people tend to mind each other’s business and you get little fights and in-clubs happening. I think I’d prefer to stay autonomous for as long as possible – but they do make a better alternative to old people’s homes.
Hi Leanne! There are actually a lot of housing groups of all sorts here in the U.S. too. But I think one of the major differences is that a cohousing community or intentional community is run by the people themselves. It is not owned by an investor OR the government. I think when they are owned by the people who live there they take on a deeper quality. And I think they also discourage too large a housing group because it is difficult to really know and stay connected to LOTS of people. That’s why most are no larger than 35-40 homes. But ultimately I agree that a big challenge would be people living together. It’s not easy for sure. Of course, the flip side of that is isolation. I don’t know how it is where you are but when older seniors here can’t drive anymore or live away from services, they really suffer. Everything is a tradeoff. It just depends what sort of trade you want to make right? Thanks though for adding to the conversation. ~Kathy
I’ve been thinking about something similar for a while… I just didn’t know it had a name! I think for those of us who don’t have children, this idea is especially attractive. We, too, are very happy with our current living situation but I’m not sure it will work for us forever. I’ll be very interested to hear about the conference when you get back.
Hi Janis! I know it is REALLY tempting for us all to believe that we will be the ones to never need to think about such an arrangement–but consider the alternative! (we won’t be around to have to decide!) Plus even the parents I know say they don’t want to be a burden to their children. But unless a person (and/or a couple) take the time to figure it out and plan for it, the kids do get stuck with having to try to step in and help. And from what I’m seeing around me, it’s not easy on the kids! As you said, you and I don’t have children so we really need to be proactive if we care. And yes, you know I’ll be writing more about this topic too. ~Kathy
I like this idea also. We now live in a 55+ community in Tucson during the winter. It has a lot in common with the cohousing or intetional community, and we like it. But we’re still only seasonal and I doubt we’ll ever be fulltimers because of the Arizona summers.
I, too, like the idea of a group of women being “Golden Girls” and may well pursue it if I’m in that position in the fugture
Hi Linda! I think that many 55+ communities are similar and would translate to a cohousing situation. The big difference though is they are set up from the beginning to encourage not just entertaining interaction (like so many 55 communities do already) but to encourage relying on each other for minor care. There are actually a couple of cohousing properties there in Tucson already. Thom and I are going to make an effort to visit them sometime soon. I’ll let you know if everyone lives there full time or not. I’ll bet there would be a way to set it up for the “season” if the right people were involved. But then who knows? Maybe when we are in our late 80’s or 90’s we might appreciate the desert summers for being warm 🙂 ~Kathy
I love this concept. A few women friends and I have half-jokingly said that we’ll pool our resources and get a place together when our husbands die (figuring that, actuarially speaking, chances are we’ll be the survivors), and hire someone as a caretaker/caregiver if we need it. But we haven’t made any formal plans. I’ll be interested to read what you find out as you explore co-housing options further, Kathy!
Hi Roxanne! It is exactly for the reason you mention that the government is exploring whether this idea is something they should really be promoting. They know that if an older person gets to the point where they can’t take care of themselves in their home and have no one close by (like really close by) to help get them to the store or the doctor or whatever, they will likely deteriorate much faster. Or even worse, they could fall and hurt themselves and no one would even know for days. I don’t think I could live in the same house with a bunch of others at this point in my life (women OR men) but you never know. Thinking about it is good don’t you think? ~Kathy
A wonderful piece, Kathy. I’ll be watching for your further reports. You’re so very right that we don’t look ahead as we should. I know I haven’t. It’s occurred to me to wonder about my future, and to worry a little, but not really to plan.
I believe that humans were meant to live in mutually-supportive groups, rather than being solitary. Our current cultural emphasis on independence, self-reliance, and individualism is good up to a point, but I think it also misses something. It can leave people dangling without a net, and the subject of government assistance has become so divisive. Your description of these intentional communities reminds me of some things I’ve read lately about homeless camps. People in these camps tend to help and support and look out for each other. While they probably couldn’t exist without the larger society around them, they often refuse outside help. They scavenge, collect recyclables, even have jobs sometimes. Mental health or substance abuse issues are probably often involved, but to some extent they may be refugees from the complexity of modern life – people who are trying to live more simply, on their own terms, but also within a supportive community of their own. Their lives are, of course, terribly precarious and vulnerable because their resources are so limited.
Hi Carol! This ended up in spam so I just saw it. Sorry about that! And thank you for your thoughtful comment. As you mention, there are many ways to create community (like the homeless camps) but they do point our innate need to “live in mutually-supportive groups.” I don’t really have a strong opinion yet about whether or not they will work for all of us 🙂 but I do think they are worthy of exploration. And like you said, it’s good to wonder about our future and maybe even plan a bit. Right? Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
My sister has a condo that was an old mill before it became condos and units are sold only to artists so it is an artist community. Some use the condo just as their studio, others like my sister, live and work in their space. They expanded the requirements to include healing arts so doctors, psychologists, etc can also live there. They have open studio weekends through out the year but do not have any huge communal space. It is an interesting spin on co-housing community living.
Hi Haralee! Your sister’s place sounds like one that we visited outside of Austin one year. What a great idea for artists and really any group of people who share so much in common. My first thought was that I would prefer one that was mixed generational rather than just senior. But then I read one woman’s comment who said when the kids are included most social events focus on making the kids most happy. In a senior cohousing arrangment, the adults are the focus. Lots to think about, but I love it that there are so many ways to create them in a fashion that works for different individuals. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
This idea has been percolating with us for a while, Kathy. With a bit of a twist 🙂
We have a tight-knit group of Labrador breeders, and we’ve been family for a long while. We keep saying that we’re going to buy a piece of property, and build us each a small house there, with one common kennel (although my dogs don’t ever stay in a kennel. LOL. They’re all housedogs :).
I just love this idea. I’ll let you know if we get serious!
Hi Susan! It sounds like you already have a built in intentional community. What a great idea to get a place together that you could all share. I am just learning about all the many different ways to do this but I love all the options. I think the more interest in this idea, the more resources will be available to create them. Let me know if you ever take it further. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
I discuss this idea with a friend regularly. He’s exploring the idea of starting such a community in England, for older couples. As a single woman and one who has already done a lot of caregiving, the idea has a good deal of appeal.
Hi Walker! I think there are a number of intentional communities in England and certainly a lot more proportioned to population. I think Europeans and just about every other country in the world is more accustommed to both living closer together and/or watching out and helping neighbors or family. The independence in our country is great–until we realize that having others around to help can be VERY advantages. I’m just learning about the many different ways to co-house and it’s all fascinating. Thanks for checking in. ~Kathy