One of the best things about reviewing new books for this blog is the opportunity to be exposed to titles and authors I would normally never select. Such is the case with The Book of Mistakes—9 Secrets To A Successful Future by Skip Prichard. My first reaction was, “What? Who wants to learn more about making mistakes?” But when I was told the book was a business parable I couldn’t resist because parables are a favorite of mine. After all, just about any message, when told well as a story, has the potential to offer insight and inspiration—even a book about mistakes. Plus, no matter what our age, or how we describe success, each of us can use positive reminders to create the kind of future we hope to live.
Naturally it turns out that the nine “mistakes” presented in this self-help fiction are mostly common-sense life-hacks that we already suspect, if not out-right know. But by revealing them in a story form, they go down like a spoon full of sugar rather than a whack on the head. So rather than just list the nine of them as bullet points, I am going to share the top three that held the most meaning for me. The three biggest mistakes I have been guilty of believing are:
#1 The mistake of staying stuck in your comfort zone. Ever been there? I have, numerous times. And if you’re anything like me you also find it more and more attractive as the years go by to just take things easy. While I’ve always thought of myself as fairly adventurous, when I’m honest I realize that I am making more and more choices to play “safe” rather than take a risk. Know what I mean?
Probably one of the most prevalent ways I do that is by ramping up my planning skills. Now that the internet makes it so easy to plan, and I’m very good at it, I often find myself planning far more than I need to. Most of the time it still works out well because I’m married to someone who requires flexibility and loves spontaneity. But again, when I’m completely truthful I know that my planning is an attempt to control the uncertain and make sure everything fits with my perceived needs well in advance.
Another example of staying in a comfort zone is going to a social event and not talking to anyone new. My first response is to look for people I know already and then go and speak to only them. But when I think about it, who knows the friendship or opportunity I might be missing by not speaking with a stranger?
One of the characters in the book named The Bookseller uses this mistake to teach her young student named David that we must fight the pull of mediocrity. She encourages him to become more comfortable with the uncomfortable and wisely says, “Our thoughts can empower or imprison. They empower when we try something new, and they imprison when we let them convince us to stay comfortable.” This mistake reminds me that if we want to grow and experience something new then we have to be willing to do something new.
#2 The mistake of thinking there is a fixed and limited amount of success available. I’m drawn to this mistake because it is such a reminder that most of us “get to make it up.” Admittedly, we don’t all start out with the same advantages or disadvantages, but where we decide to go with what we do have going for us, is up to us. Yes, sometimes it is very difficult, but as one of the other mistakes implies, allowing excuses to be our default response to our lives never helps either. I prefer to believe that my future is only limited by my lack of imagination and initiative, rather than believing that other people, or the system, are stacked against me. That is a decision each of us makes every day.
Another way this mistake creeps into our thinking is how we compare ourselves to others and judge ourselves harshly. This is something that writers have to guard against on a regular basis. Because I love to read, it’s so easy to start comparing myself with writers I admire. When that happens it’s far too easy to tell ourselves, “I’ll never be that good,” or “They have far more talent than I do.” But while I can never be someone else, my success and the talent I do have is uniquely, and unlimitedly, my own. The same with all of us.
Another character in the book named The Artist shares this mistake with David by explaining, “There is unlimited possibility in the universe. There is no limit to your potential. Someone else’s success does not reduce your own capabilities or potential. Be motivated, not intimidated, by another’s success.” Let’s all stop comparing ourselves to others and remember that we have more influence on our lives than we usually remember.
#3 The mistake of believing you have all the time in the world. This mistake is very relevant to me because last week my life included a visit to the local hospital’s emergency room and an overnight visit. There’s nothing quite like such an experience that reminds us that we won’t live forever—and the value of making the most of each and every day.
The good news is that I’m going to be fine and in some ways the experience turned out to be good news. But if the takeaway is nothing more than a reminder that I don’t have all the time in the world, it will be worth it. Of course, if we are paying attention, something happens nearly every day to remind us that life is precious and that it would be SMART to make the most of each and every moment.
I particularly like the advice in the book that The Doctor character gives David. He says “..on the one hand, live each day as if it’s your last and, on the other, as if it’s your first. Your last keeps you focused on what really matters…your first is important because you also must have a longer view, or you will never accomplish the goals that are hard and take longer.”
As I mentioned in the beginning, all of nine of the mistakes in the book and their accompanying lessons are not really new. But when told in an easy to read parable they remind us of their importance and offer the potential to inspire us to something new. And while the primary market for this type of business book is obviously targeted toward those who are either beginning a new career or looking to reinvent themselves, it is SMART for all of us at any age to remember and apply such wisdom in order to create a happy and successful future.
Okay, your turn. Do you like to read parables? Do you appreciate being reminded of things you know but don’t always practice? Can you relate to any of the mistakes I’ve confessed to? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
I would also add that mistakes are great teachers. It’s pretty hard to get good at something – whatever it is – without making some mistakes along the way. Mistakes can often be painful, but they can teach powerful lessons, too.
Hi Mike! I absolutely agree that mistakes are great teachers. Without them we can never learn and move forward. ~Kathy
I’m with Donna regarding mistake number #3 – believing that you have all the time in the world. My whole life, I have been haunted with the opposite of this, an acute awareness that my life on this earth is slipping away irrevocably minute by minute. Because of this, I have been driven by the productivity demon. I have to make every second productive or I am wasting my precious remaining time. I have found that yoga, meditation, and walks in nature have helped me to quell these unhelpful ruminations and focus more on enjoying the moments that I do have.
Jude
Oh, the belief that we have all the time in the world. I know that is not the case and yet day after day, I feel like I am letting my life slip away without accomplishing anything of substance. As if I still have a whole lifetime of years ahead of me.
On, the other hand, I do make it a regular practice to step out of my comfort zone and blog about it on the last day of each month. Come join me on 04.30.2019!!
Leslie at onceuponatimehappilyeverafter.com
Hi Leslie! Thank you for so being so honest about something I think a lot of us struggle with. While we all know intellectually that we don’t have all the time in the world, we still allow ourselves to be distracted much of the time. And at the same time, there is that desire to do something meaningful but don’t always take the steps to do what it takes. That’s why I think it is so important to keep writing about it and reminding each other, right? It sounds like that is exactly what you are doing too. I will definitely have to pop over to your blog to see what you have going on. ~Kathy
HI Kathy
I’ve enjoy parables. My favorites include: The Little Prince, The Pearl, and Animal Farm
The last line in your post says a business book like this is mostly geared toward those beginning a new career or looking to reinvent themselves. What better time to reinvent yourself that in retirement. It’s the perfect time to look at our past successes and mistakes and making positive changes in our lives as needed. Whether it be stepping out of our comfort zone, facing our fears, or making up for lost time with family and friends.
I think I’ll read this book and see where I make improvements in my life
Thanks
Laura
Hi Laura. I like all those parables too! But I think my favorite is “The Alchemist.” I’m a fan of Paulo Coelho and that’s pretty much all he writes. If you enjoy reading parables, I’ll bet you’ll like this one too. And yes, I believe this book and any that focuses on the future in a positive and empowering way is good for those who are reinventing themselves at any stage of life, retirement included. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Kathy, so glad you are okay! These three mistakes aren’t really my primary issues – but I appreciate the reminder because it is easy to fall into complacency even with a ‘huge’ comfort zone like mine. I do like Donna’s reversals too!
Hi Janet! That’s good those issues aren’t a problem for you. The other “mistakes” are more general like letting others determine your value and making excuses instead of taking responsibility. I probably could have picked all nine (hahahaha) but didn’t want the post to be too long. And yes, Donna’s “reversals” worked for me too. Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Glad your ER outcome was good news, in a way!
But it does sort of remind us all that tomorrow is not promised and that time is not unlimited…be grateful and make the most of today!
As a teacher, I always was talking to my students about the value in mistakes. They are instructive and some of the best ways to learn and move forward.
So, embrace those mistakes, learn from them, and move on!
Hi Nancy! I’m feeling great now thank you. And good for you for teaching the value of learning from our mistakes. That was actually pointed out another big theme in the book, and that is to not be afraid of making mistakes or failure. Like your statement, Prichard says in the book, “Successful people don’t really look at it as failure. We look at it as a setback, as part of the plan. It may even be a stepping stone.” I don’t remember ever hearing that when I was young, did you? Hopefully your students use that and are way ahead of where I was when I was young. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – You were in the ER … and have had a rough 30 days health wise??! I am glad to hear that you are on the mend…but of course, I want to know more!!
I frequently make all three mistakes that you listed above. Then, when I really began to look at them, I realized that they were also mistakes when done in reverse. e.g., 1. The mistake of always having to push yourself. 2. The mistake of believing there is unlimited success available. (We can’t all win the same job interview…or the same tennis tournament!) 3. The mistake of believing you never have enough time (I’m very guilty of the revised #1 and #3).
As you frequently and wisely remind us, “balance” is the key.”
Sending you warm “be well” vibes!
Hi Donna! Yep a weird 30 days for sure. I’m hoping it is Mercury in retrograde or some other excuse. hahaha. And I’m debating about whether to write about it in detail because I actually did learn something rather important that I think might be helpful. Hm….I appreciate your perspective of “mistakes in reverse.” That puts an entirely new perspective on things that I agree is helpful. What is the saying, “hindsight is always 20-20?” I think that applies. But then I’ve always felt that nothing is a mistake (or a failure) if we learn something from it right? And yeah, lots to learn if we are paying attention. Thank you for you good vibes my friend. ~Kathy
There is nothing like a trip to the ER to remind us of our mortality. I’m glad you are better! I can relate to both #1 and #3. The introvert in me always looks for familiar faces at a gathering but more memorable events usually include interesting conversations with people I hadn’t met before. As far as #3 goes, I guess the good news is that I feel great and, in that way, I don’t often think about my aging. On the other hand, staying focused on what really matters too often takes a back seat to just day-to-day living.
Hi Janis! Oh yeah. Visiting the ER is NEVER easy whether we are there for ourselves or for someone we care about. Thankfully I have both good insurance and the money to pay for my deductible or it could have been far worse. And I’m glad you’re doing good these days– I am too–NOW! And I agree that we should never let “what really matters to us take a back seat to day-to-day living.” Please remind me of that if I EVER appear to forget it! ~Kathy
This sounds like a good one Kathy! Yes I like to be reminded of what I already know but in a different perspective like a parable makes it seem new again.Glad you are on the mend.
Hi Haralee! Yes, it was a weird 30 days for me for sure. Glad THAT is all past and books like this help to redirect me in a very positive way. ~Kathy
I’m glad you’re well, Kathy. Truly a whack on the head, a visit to the ER! Here’s my mistake: settling into my current reality and then letting the limitations take on more weight than they deserve. The good thing is, that illusion gets obliterated easily. Case in point: I was living my writerly life, bemoaning the lack of time to get everything done. Then Mom became ill and required 24-hour care. My siblings and I began taking turns living with her until things clarified. (I’m typing this from her guest room. I’m on shift until Monday.) Now I can see how free I really was, before. Soon I get to go back to that writerly life, and there will be no more moaning!
Hi Lynne! Yes, you are right. A trip to the ER IS definitely a whack on the head. Thankfully I am doing great today and am surely reminded how things can change in a day/week/month? Let’s never forget that every day is precious especially if we get a little too comfortable with current reality. I’ve been watching some of your experiences on FB and know that it is NEVER easy with parents when dealing with their health. Sometimes it is harder when it has to do with those we love rather than ourselves. I’m hoping that things soothe out with your mom real soon and that you do indeed get back to your “writerly” life. ~Kathy