Cohousing isn’t a new concept. In fact, humans have been coming together in community for thousands of years to survive and thrive. What is new is that these days many of us have grown so independent and disconnected that we’ve forgotten why community is important in the first place. Maybe when we are young, busy, and focused on the needs of one’s immediate family, that isn’t so important. But eventually, if people begin to value experiences, relationships, and good health more than the stuff they accumulate and the accolades they obtain as they age, things start changing. That’s when being a part of a strong and vibrant community starts sounding more and more appealing. It’s also when the idea of cohousing may pop up as a solution. Is it a key to helping people age better? Those who have embraced it say, “Yes!”
During a 2016 conference titled, “Cohousing: Aging Better Together”, architect Charles (Chuck) Durrett admitted that with cohousing, “We aren’t doing anything that hasn’t been done before, but now we are doing it consciously.” He and his wife Kathryn (Katie) McCamant coined the word “cohousing” and pioneered the movement here in the United States after visiting Denmark in the 1980s. The design and overwhelming benefits of the lifestyle so intrigued them that together they have gone on to help create over 50 cohousing communities here in the U.S.
According to Durrett, the key to cohousing is the design. Unlike the traditional “consumer model of housing” where a person shops around trying to find a home and a good neighborhood, cohousing takes a more proactive approach by putting the neighborhood and community first. And how do you do that? As Durrett says, “It’s cohousing math. 1 + 1 =3.” In other words, when people come together consciously to design a neighborhood the way they would really like it to be, what they end up creating is a community that fits their needs in multiple ways. The camaraderie, the memories, the shared decisions, all add up to shared history and connection. As Durrett said, “Proximity is an ally to the process and effort is connected to happiness.”
The two-day Conference, held in Salt Lake City in May 2016, hosted over 250 attendees and featured Chuck Durrett, Katie McCamant and a dozen others who either construct, design, currently live in, or those who hope-to-live-in a cohousing community. While most existing cohousing communities are multi-generational (meaning they allow children and all age groups), the new trend appears to be senior cohousing. As Eric Cress from Urban Development Partners (UDP) said about the vertical model of cohousing his company is building in Portland, OR, “This generation of seniors is not going to conform to prior aging models.” Cress is excited about the possibilities of cohousing and continued with, “This is the time for developers like us to influence how people age in a vibrant way.”
What every speaker at the conference seemed to agree on was that cohousing brings people together. And when people come together, they thrive—especially as they age. Is it challenging to live so closely and interdependently as the cohousing model? Yes, it can be. But as one person said, “Yesterday I was playing bridge, today I’m creating a neighborhood.” Not only does cohousing communities work together to create a neighborhood that satisfies them all on a deep level, but the very act of working together in proximity adds to their connections. As Durrett says, “Cooperation is really the windfall and ultimately trumps the architecture.” The creation of a cohousing community allows each member to get in touch with what is most important to them, what they really want in a home and a neighborhood. That, in turn, gets them in touch with what they want to “be” in the future. That valuable awareness is important no matter what a person’s age, but it is particularly important as a senior.
A big part of the design in every cohousing community is the Common House. While each home is typically individual and private, a large common house with communal facilities like a commercial-grade kitchen and meeting rooms is critical. The reason the Common House is so important is because people need to “run into each other and break bread together.” Another element in the design is making walkways and front doors visible to each other so that it is easy to connect. For that reason, garages and parking are usually on the periphery of the property. Why? Because, as Durrett says, “My relationship with my neighbor is more important than my relationship to my car.” What else goes into the typical cohousing community? While it really depends on the people who helped design and create it, a community garden, green and sustainable features, barbecue areas, workshops, and art rooms seem to be part of most.
What makes them different than a condo or any senior housing community like a Del Webb Sun City? While similarities certainly exist, a cohousing community is self-created, self-managed and self-maintained. Sure, it’s always possible to hire someone to do that work, but it is in the learning to work together and create that some of the most powerful connections develop. People also discover what is most important to them, what they are willing to pay for and maintain, and to actively participate in their life and community on an ongoing basis.
How do you start a cohousing community? Fortunately, Durrett and McCamant have authored a book entitled, Creating Cohousing * Building Sustainable Communities along with a series of related books on the subject that details how to get started. Also, the “Cohousing Association of the United States,” (Coho/US) maintains a website with pages of information listing existing communities, how to form a new community, and hundreds of articles about the process. Plus it is always possible to visit many of the existing cohousing communities around the country and get a feel for the people and the lifestyle before committing.
If any downside exists it appears to be with affordability. The process of developing and building a new community is both pricey and laborious due to current building costs, and city along with state building codes. As one young mother said when talking about her cohousing community in Fort Collins, Colorado, “I bought here years ago and love it. But I wouldn’t be able to afford it now. I don’t know how any young family could.”
While cohousing may not be for everyone, there is no denying that bringing people together in community is healthy for all of us. As more and more of us discover that relationships and experiences are far more rewarding than big Mac-Mansions in the suburbs, and as the media continues to report that loneliness and disconnection can cut nearly ten years off of a person’s lifetime, discovering new ways to create a community deserves our attention.
A large number of us, baby boomers included, are demanding a better way to live out the remainder of our lives. Instead of merely sitting back and letting our lives unfold by default, cohousing is one way to be SMART and create a future lifestyle “by design.” As Alice Alexander, Executive Director of Coho/US and a resident of a cohousing community said about her decision to live there, “It’s even better than you think.”
For more information about cohousing and to be notified about next year’s cohousing conference to be held in Nashville, TN go to: CoHo/US The conference next year will be May 19-20, 2017 and will focus on: “Building Resilient, Sustainable Communities.”
Hey!!!!
It is very true that most of the seniors want to live their life naturally like they live in their family at home so cohousing is a great option for them. They can feel the family touch here. Thank you for sharing.
The idea of a community such as this as we age is intriguing. There would be so many benefits with neighbors helping each other that the impact on caregivers alone would be substantial. I’m glad we’ve got you to keep abreast of these options. I would have never known otherwise.
I was just having a cohousing conversation with my sister up in B.C. last weekend. What she was commenting on is that while families of Asian and Indian origin have been cohousing forever, more and more families of European descent are purchasing houses together, simply because of the cost of housing in Vancouver. This is also evident by the number of renovations and add-ons that people are doing, anything from basement suites to entire new wings — still cheaper than buying two houses!
Hi Laura! Yes I think I saw that there are a number of cohousing communities in B.C. But as you and your sister talked about, it isn’t that “new” to most cultures around the world. A lot of people in the cohousing community seem disappointed that there isn’t more diversity in most cohousing neighborhoods, but I think that’s because other cultures do it naturally so they don’t see the need. Learning how to live together peacefully and in closer proximity is mainly a white-anglo saxon problem. I think cohousing is a good solution for many. Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
Firstly, thank you Kathy, for keeping the energy around the Aging Better Together conference alive. It was such a success – I heard many people throughout say that they were saturated with good information on how to move forward with their own cohousing communities. One thing mentioned by Kathy that I cannot stress enough is how important it is to read at least one of the books, “Senior Cohousing: A Community Approach to Independent Living” (Durrett) and/or “Creating Cohousing: Building Sustainable Communities” (McCamant & Durrett). Each contain the building blocks to making a cohousing community successful and helps others to better understand without you having to constantly explain what you are doing. Of course, getting professionals who have experience creating successful communities facilitate the process (for instance Katie McCamant of Cohousing Solutions on financials and zoning, and Chuck Durrett on architecture), is your next step.
Hi Lindy! No problem. I thought the conference was such an awesome way to learn more about cohousing AND to meet so many people involved with the support and creation of them as well. I agree about getting hold of the books to get a better understanding, I actually found one in my local library! And then getting around and talking to people who are doing it is also very inspiring. Next year in Nashville! Think about it! ~Kathy
It is an interesting concept for sure. My parents had a condo in a retirement village in FL. It had a common room and pools and activities but it really wasn’t a permanent residence for most people.
Hi Haralee! Yes I think many seasonal retirement communities have similarities but if everyone is only there for less than half a year, it’s difficult to build close bonds. It think a big part of it is the natural closeness that happens in cohousing that makes it work. While I’m sure there are other options and possibilities, cohousing seems to fit the needs of many. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy! It sounds like a combination of Condo living and Co-op Living — the occupants all taking part in running it.
I can certainly see the value in community; my mother went ‘missing’ last week and I had trouble finding someone in her building to help. The security staff didn’t step up like I’d hoped.
One thing I wonder … what happens as the community ages and members can’t play as big a role? As the founding members age, how does it sustain itself?
Hi Tracey! Oh, sorry about your mom. Glad you eventually did find her. But like I said in my answer to Janis below, there are people who can help at any age so it shouldn’t be an automatic negative to age in one of these communities. Obviously the key is to continue to recruit and bring in new members, but the challenge IMHO in bringing in committed and involved members at any age. One of the founders, Chuck Durrett suggests that minimums be part of the agreement that everyone makes when they enter the community. While there will always be those who go above board and do more than expected, at least minimum participation is required. Of course everyone has options of where and how they get involved, but those minimums and a clear vetting before people buy into a community would help. Then again, until the affordability issue is resolved this will continue to be a problem.
Plus, as you and I talked about recently on SKYPE, a person who expects a cohousing community to answer all their needs without being able to participate and give back in their own way would not be a good mix. It was mentioned how it is unrealistic to wait until a person is really in need to move into the community and then expect everyone to jump in and help them. Cohousing helps everyone build their “social capital” so that if and when they need help they can usually get it. But you have to build your “account” first. So many things to think about but so very interesting! ~Kathy
I remain intrigued by the idea of cohousing, or something similar that combines independence with a solid social network. I read somewhere recently (I don’t think it was on your blog) about some neighborhood village concept senior living arrangements that found themselves having trouble as the residents aged and found that they didn’t have the (younger, able-bodied) support they needed. As we baby boomers move through the python, the problem of aging in place will become more and more of an issue – hopefully it won’t become a crisis before it is addressed.
Hi Janis! I too remain intrigued but not entirely convinced 🙂 But yes, that is a bit of a problem with “recruiting” new and younger residents in the senior complexes as far as I can tell. But again, I think the biggest problem is the affordability. While we automatically assume that as we age we will be less able to be of service to others, that is really just an assumption. I think I heard (or read) that just like at any age, there are people who roll up their sleeves and help no matter what, and there are people who sit back and let others do the work. Sure we can’t quite physically do everything, but most of what needs to be done in a cohousing community has little to do with heavy lifting and everything to do with a willingness to help fill in the “gaps” when necessary. Finding others who are willing to get involved and help one another might not be easy, but I think age is only one tiny factor in that equation. ~Kathy
This is interesting and reminds me of the commune idea from back in the day. As our society ages, this model is a great idea to help keep elderly out of nursing homes. We stayed in a resort in Baja that was set up like this model. Huge community kitchen and commons area with small fridges assigned to rooms, etc. Many of the rooms were nearby, though not in a circle, but all guests were there to windsurf or kitboard. It will be interesting to see more of these models come to fruition. Let’s hope the movement catches on!
Hi Terri! Thanks for sharing your experience with something like this. I think so many of us have grown used to be so very independent and self-sufficient that we tend to steer clear of these types of arrangements but eventually there will be a time when it becomes very valuable. The challenge is to know and plan before hand. At the conference we learned that most people wait until they need some kind of “closer” relationship to community to stay happily “living in place” as they age. But unless they have made that choice beforehand and invested and built relationships in a community, it’s too late. And what happens? If they need close care then they end up in a nursing home. Just like we all need to plan for our retirement, I think it is SMART to “plan” for where and how we want to live as we age. Thanks for you input! ~Kathy
We live in a 55+ resort in Tucson for four months in the winter, and it sounds a LOT like a cohousing community. We still have our big house near Seattle for the rest of the year. I’ve looked at a cohousing community in this area but it wasn’t the right flavor. I’m still keeping my eyes open, though. It would be a great downsizing opportunity for my reluctant husband.
Hi Linda! Tucson is a great city for spending the winter months. If we didn’t like our city so well we would consider it for sure. Thom and I toured all three of them in Tucson and liked them all for differing reasons. I think every community has its own personality based on the people there, and cohousing is no different. Lot’s of people who start them, really end up coming together with people who have similar values and goals for their property so that is sort of self-selecting. Of course that changes and evolve as new people move in and others move away but it an interesting dynamic. Good luck on your search. It is an interesting way to consider where and how we will be as time goes on. ~Kathy
While I’m not actively considering this, I know that the personalities and ‘flavor’ would be the most crucial factor for me.
Hi Walker. Isn’t that the truth? But cohousing is rather self-selecting just because you have to be somewhat progressive to even recognize the benefits in the first place. Anyone who is familiar with the “sharing-economy” as well as all the scientific information about the problems of isolation and lonliness at any age, tends to be intrigued. While Thom and I aren’t “actively” considering it either, it is something to consider right? ~Kathy
Absolutely, particularly for someone like me who is currently single!
I have a friend from England who is looking at starting a community for individuals who practice consensual non-monogamy–so a group that’s more open and accepting of options beyond monogamy. Intriguing!
I’ve been fascinated by cohousing for a while now, and I certainly agree that it is a good way age well. Becoming more isolated in old age is not how I want to finish my life!
Hi Michelle! Yes the idea has a lot of appeal to me too. Although I do like my privacy and independence I also like people and being in touch with them as well. I think our culture has put so much emphasis on being independent that we have forgotten what it is like to share and reciprocate with each other to our mutual benefit. I too hope we all start to make that more important in our lives while we can. Thanks for stopping by! ~Kathy
What invaluable information, Kathy! We have long been in need of a new way of being for our senior years, and this is so inspiring. I love what Cress said: ““This generation of seniors is not going to conform to prior aging models.” That just made me jump for joy!
Thank you for going and bringing all of this to us!
Hi Susan! The cohousing model really is interesting. I think I heard it said that approximately 30% of the people in nursing homes don’t really need to be there if they had a “community” to keep an eye out for them. I’ll bet there are even more who can’t stay in a home because it is too remote or the house doesn’t work for someone with physical challenges. The best thing about a cohousing community is that people there know your name. You’ll never be simply forgotten. Glad you found the info helpful! ~Kathy
“…each house is typically individual and private…”
well thank goodness for that! I was imagining everyone living together in a great big dormitory, like in a boarding school.
I couldn’t stand that. but a community area, with a private home to go to, that sounds okay. As long as people aren’t made to join in when they don’t want to….
Hi River! Yeah, I think many of us who have been around a while tend to think that cohousing is similar to a commune. But cohousing tends to have a similar privacy as a condo or townhouse project. What makes it different of course is that it is designed to encourage interaction among residents. And while most condo projects have a community room, the Common House is typically much more utilized in encouraging everyone to come together and participate. Of course, introverts will still be introverts and extroverts will be there too. From what we can tell it works for all sorts of people–but mainly for those who value the idea of community. Plus, while no one has to “join” everyone is expected to help things run smoothly (remember you don’t pay a property manager to handle things) there are “minimums” required for participation–but they can be done alone or in a group. ~Kathy