As some of you know, my husband Thom and I took a road trip in July. As usual, we were seeking a way to avoid the summer heat in the desert that we call home. As planned, we figured that a road trip to the Pacific Northwest just might be a great solution for part of that time. It was. Not only was the weather spectacular, we also met with family in Seattle, old friends in Kelowna, B.C., as well as a planned meetup with some of my friends who blog. With a little forethought and design we had a wonderful vacation. However, once we returned people continually questioned how it was possible to spend several months both traveling and renting out-of-town houses for over three months, while most people are stuck at home. And remember, we aren’t retired either. Our go-to answer is always, “Because we rightsized our life.”
Just one of our gorgeous views on the drive home.
Now I understand that not everyone loves to travel as much as we do. And some people have health or personal obligations that keep them close to home. But I think it is important to point out that if you have a strong desire to travel, yet only seem to find excuses not to do it, you may not have considered the benefits of rightsizing.
So how does rightsizing apply to vacations and travel? Of course, before I give you the elements that allow us to do that, it’s important to remember that rightsizing is as individual as you are. So what works for us may not work for you. Like most things in life, rightsizing requires 
trade-offs and compromise. Again, what is a good trade-off for me, might be a deal breaker for you. However, once you decide what is really, really, REALLY important to you and the quality of your life, only then can you begin to work to fulfill those things and eliminate the rest—that’s when you start living a rightsized life.
With that in mind, here is a list of the choices Thom and I’ve made during our lives in order to rightsize our travel and vacations.
- We gave up our large home with expensive amenities (pool, spa, large lot, prestigious neighborhood) and moved to a significantly smaller home which we were able to buy free and clear of a mortgage. We then worked to make that new home as low-expense and maintenance free as possible. Then we stay diligent about keeping our monthly living expenses low in order to spend it on things we love.
- We focused on occupations that gave us freedom to work from home and/or just about anywhere on the planet. This was actually more challenging than downsizing our home. This took years to develop, and required challenging choices and tradeoffs along the way, but we had a rightsized goal in mind and stuck with it. While we still work, we only do so if it fits with our life goals.
Some of my blogger friends & husbands on a hike in Parksville. - Choose to make our income only one aspect of a good occupation. In other words, while some compromise was necessary, we kept our eye on the “quality” of our experiences rather than the amount of accumulation that money could buy. Do we make as much money as others in our occupation? Probably not. But I can almost guarantee we have lots more fun and freedom.
- Routinely make decisions to “feel good” rather than to “look good.” Good health is very important to both of us. But, instead of spending money on ways to make ourselves just look healthy or even attractive, we prefer to spend money on preventative medicine. We also value sleeping well, taking time to meditate and relax, exercise, eat healthy, spend time with friends and people we love, laugh, dance, and enjoy
Thom, his sister Pam, and two of her sons.life. But make no mistake, those all require targeted choices and tradeoffs.
- Make plans that allow our future to unfold in ways that we prefer. What’s the saying? “Some people spend more time planning their vacations than their lives?” So true. Instead, when you design a rightsized life you begin to know where, how and exactly a vacation fits (or doesn’t fit) into it. Sure there is some forethought and planning involved, but never at the expense of the other important values. And accept that it doesn’t happen overnight. It was my intention over 20 years ago to design ways to spend three or four months out of the heat. It’s only been the last couple of years that we’ve managed to do just that.
- During this trip we purposely planned to experience nature, see some interesting sites, do a little business, and spend time with family and friends. Mixing it up that way helped us to fully experience everything we wanted during that month. For us it was perfect—but rightsizing suggests that we each find and experience what brings us the most satisfaction and joy—and then make ongoing choices to do that!
- Live within your means. In other words, spend only what you can easily afford to spend. Sure it is sometimes tempting to stay in an expensive or exotic location. Or it’s also enticing to eat out every day or go to pricey restaurants. Yet we find it better to know in advance
Catching up with longtime friends Deb & Kenn Gordonwhat we can easily afford and then stick with it.
- Spend your time with people you care about and who care about you. Several times this summer we talked to people who were only visiting certain areas and people out of obligation—not care. That is not rightsized. When you value your time and yourself enough, you will realize that the moments of each day are precious and need to be cherished.
- Give up what others think about you or your life. This one hasn’t been easy for me. I like to be liked. But I am finally learning that I can’t
Hanging out with a new friend in the lavender fields.make anyone like me who doesn’t even know me, let alone appreciate who I am or what’s important to me. If you feel that someone doesn’t value you, then wishing them well while moving on is a very rightsized thing to do.
- Don’t try to do, see or have everything—go for the “wows!” I used to have a very severe case of FOMO (Fear-Of-Missing-Out). I was always afraid that I was missing an opportunity so I tried to cram every single thing I’d heard about into an overly packed schedule. That usually made Thom (and me!) tired and cranky. Finally, at one point, Thom said, “Enough. I only want to do the wows!” And you know what? Since that time I have started enjoying the moments right in front of me much more. Let’s face it, I can’t do everything. Instead I want to do what is right for me, right now. That’s rightsizing.
There are many more “tips” I can offer that we use to rightsize our travels and I’m tempted to do a “Part 2 Post” where I share some of my travel hacks (next week maybe?) But first know that unless your mind and spirit are focused on designing a life that is right for you, then all those details won’t increase your happiness, wellbeing, or make your trips better. The SMART approach is to settle down long enough to find out what really matters to you, and then rightsize your life along with your travel.
When you have a partner you love, making a successful life together is about compromise. Although Rob and I share many values, such as prioritizing time to spend with friends and family, enjoying experiences over material accumulation, living within our means, pursuing many hobbies and interests, and engaging in lifelong learning, the details are different for each of us. For example, I carefully save and invest whereas Rob spends as the money comes in. I like to travel to far flung places whereas Rob prefers to make shorter trips close to home. Although we could have moved anywhere when I retired, we chose to buy into a more expensive area so that I could live close to my kids and grandkids, which was more important to me than living mortgage-free. What is the right choice will differ from couple to couple depending on their circumstances and what they value.
Jude
Hi Jude! Yes, it is always a compromise or a blending out of love when you live in partnership. Thom and I don’t always agree but if one thing is REALLY important to the other, we try to do our best to make that happen if possible. But for everything else, compromise is certainly most important. And as you say, that is unique to each couple…and yes, Rightsized! ~Kathy
Great post. I’ve also done some rightsizing and I’m convinced life is better for it. I started with rightsizing my accommodation, but I like your idea that the concept can be applied to other things too.
Hi David! Yes, getting our homes in alignment with our needs and intentions is the usual place to start. But let’s not stop there. I am continually reminded about how it fits into every aspect of my life. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
It’s so nice to know what works for you, in any aspect of our lives. Lots comes with experience and age, especially the mental parts and realizing not everyone needs to like us. 🙂
Living within our means has always come easy to me. But, the not missing out has been harder. I used to always want to do everything in an area that we visited, but as you mentioned, that’s exhausting. To the point that we now “wing” everything and don’t plan anything anymore. Talk about an extreme the other way.
And, yes, visiting friends and family along the way has been a joy.
Hi Liesbet! You and Mark definitely have the rightsized travel down in a way that works for you perfectly. Maybe you don’t think you “planned” it that way, but I’ve known you (and read your work) for several years now and it is pretty obvious that your intentions guide you where you want to be. Some of us seem to be more detailed…but it is really all about focus and intention and you do that wonderfully. And as long as it brings you joy and contentment…then it is perfectly rightsized. ~Kathy
I think it’s wonderful that you are both in sync with each other and your goals. That doesn’t always happen. I can’t say I planned my life out all that well but still working on it.
Hi Rebecca! I completely agree that it is MUCH easier when you are on the same page. But remember, we’ve been at this for 41+ years so we’ve worked at it. 🙂 if we hadn’t been able to hone off the edges of our difference long before now we probably wouldn’t still be together! BUT…with that said, it is NEVER too late to start fulfilling your intentions and moving in the direction of your dreams. Every day counts! ~Kathy
Your points are on-point as always, Kathy! For us, we spend most summer weekends in the delta by belonging to a club with low camping rates. It is not far, only 65 miles but it is like being in another world away from traffic, social media/TV, etc. All these things do take planning and sacrifice to make it work and keeping the budget low. We love traveling with our trailer, and although Hans spent $$ on a new truck, he hadn’t had car payments in over 10 years, this was a family investment for now and our future. When we have more time and are truly retired we can enjoy this same lifestyle because most items will be paid off. In a few short years, we are planning to leave California and head north to Washington state to be closer to Hans’ brothers. We may get a slightly larger home and more land for much less than we have now…so “rightsizing” is the operative word here! I’m glad you enjoyed your trips and would have loved to meet up with you and the other bloggers!
Hi Terri! You are definitely a blogger that is rightsized in many ways. I love following along your blog and seeing how you create your rightsized life. And who knows about the future? Thom and I are always scheming up new projects and possibilities so it’s good to have options isn’t it? Hopefully there will be more blogger get-togethers in BOTH of our futures. ~Kathy
Definitely a gorgeous view on your drive home, Kathy. The quality of experiences versus “things” is always a priority for us, too. Especially while we are still mobile and healthy. Health is of course priceless and we all know we cannot control some of the unexpected challenges that may face us in the future.
The WOWs gave me goosebumps.
I would be interested in a Part 2 post. I enjoy learning about travel hacks.
I keep my lavender sachet from you by my writing area. Great Feng shui! And reminds me of you and the fun weekend we had together as a group:)
Hi Erica! Yes, we had some amazing scenery on the way home. It was even better than we hoped and definitely a WOW. And my mind is churning on the travel hacks as we speak. Glad you like you lavender sachet…I kept one for me too and think of you all when I smell it! ~Kathy
Kathy, I’m still working on the rightsizing as I’ve learned it is a lot about compromise! Travel and stuff are 2 big compromise areas…. I never really got how much a home-body my hubby was. We always took vacations, but he really is not into lots of travel! I also knew about the tendency to be a hoarder – that’s genetic. His mom was one and his siblings are also. But now as I’m trying to rightsize, it is a bigger challenge. Net, rightsizing for me is also accepting the compromises we reach. Because when it’s all said & done. I’d rather he was in my life, with all his stuff and at home, than not!
You’ll see however in my post this week… I have agreed to move full-time to Florida. (We are starting the search for a house anyway). It is really his one big life dream. That will force some major de-cluttering on his part… houses down there do not have basements!
Hi Pat! Thanks for sharing your personal experience of this. It’s good that you recognize that you have different needs–that is something EVERY couple needs to be aware of for sure. And like you said, you want to be with him MORE than you want to travel so that is a choice. Of course, now that you are planning a move that will be creating a BIG change for both of you. And hopefully he will be willing to compromise as much as you have to make the move a benefit to you both. Compromise and tradeoffs have to work for both partners, right? But it sounds like this move will lead to something that makes you both happy. I can’t wait to hear how it unfolds. ~Kathy
Kathy, I so admire your choices and how you two have adjusted to living life on your own terms. We have not down sized and chose to retire in place. We live in Florida year round and have a very comfortable home, but it is far from extravagant. We have managed to reduce our costs significantly since retiring, even with the big house. Simple pleasures and travel take priority over things and stuff, and we love cruising and taking road trips throughout our state. We have plans to reduce our footprint within the next five years and move into a ‘turnkey’ home, as we are beginning to tire of the maintenance and inconvenience associated with an older home. I enjoy learning from the experience of others before us and appreciate your willingness to share your story. The Pacific Northwest is on our radar for Spring or summer 2020.
Hi Suzanne! Thank you. I think more and more of us are learning that getting rid of all the “stuff” that used to define us when we were younger no longer applies as we get older. It isn’t always easy to let go of that previous lifestyle, but in my case the tradeoff has been definitely worth it. I’m very happy to encourage others to live the “new” dream for the coming years. And as you so perfectly say, “simple pleasures and travel take priority over things and stuff.” I also agree that it doesn’t happen over night but it does sound like you are both talking it over and setting new intentions on a regular basis. That’s a REALLY good start. And I strongly recommend a road trip for the Pacific Northwest but I would recommend that you consider summer rather than spring. It was actually a bit chilly for us a couple of times!!!! And we were told by many that July was typically the best month of the year. ~Kathy
Right sizing? Right on! It took us a while to achieve the attitude adjustment involved in rightsizing. But we finally downsized in a major way a couple of years ago — our house with expenses is about 60% of what what it once was. And so now, as you say . . . we’re free! (And as long as it’s okay, I’d like include your post in the Best of Boomer Blogs this week.) Ciao!
Hi Tom! You are another one of my blogger friends that I believe live a rightsized life. And from what I can tell, you also do a fine job of rightsizing your vacations too. That extra 40% goes a long ways towards being able to go, do and live the kind of life that brings you the most contentment and satisfaction. And of course, I’m always honored when you include me in your Boomer Roundup Posts. Thank you! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
You know how important I think “right-sizing” is! You are living proof. Dan and I sometimes comment that we have only little houses…we could have chosen a big, comfortable house in the Boston suburbs, but then we wouldn’t have our NH cottage and little FL home, not to mention the sailboat and RV which provide us will so much joy and interesting experiences.
I wish we had unlimited funds, but we don’t, so we watch our pennies and vacation on a shoestring. People marvel at all the things we have done…they could do them too if they made some different decisions.
Still, everyone’s vision is different. I am grateful for ours.
Hi Nancy! Congratulations! Ever since I started reading your blog I’ve been thinking to myself that you have definitely rightsized your life. I agree that unlimited funds would be awesome but as you prove (and write about on your blog) you can still do many wonderful things when you plan it out with strong intentions. And I also agree that some of our choices aren’t easy, nor do they always fit with other people’s expectations….but for those of us who have the determination it can be so incredibly rewarding can’t it? Thanks for sharing a bit of your own story! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy! I really love this post! So many people get caught up with what they have and how to maintain that lifestyle. It’s hard for them to stand back and really think about what THEY want. I guess we’d all like to have it all, but that’s not usually (never?) possible. You and Thom made such SMART decisions to design the life you want. My guess is that neither of you have looked back with regret! So happy we could spend some time together this summer… and we look forward to the next rendezvous. Oh, also to your travel hacks!
Hi Janis! You’re right–no regrets! Of course, I’m not surprised you liked this post cuz I sort of got part of the idea from your recent post about travel hacks. I was thinking of a couple of ways to go about sharing these ideas and you helped trigger it. My challenge will be to come up with some different ones than you did! And yes, wasn’t it fun to spend time together again this summer? We will definitely have to continue that trend. Meanwhile I’m looking forward to following your travels in the months ahead. So great to be able to keep track of one another though our blogs.
So, you’re a reverse snowbird! LOL. I wonder what name we can utilize to describe that? Sandbird?Sunbird? We spend 3 months in the winter down in Florida to keep warm. We spend 2 months in the summer to stay by the ocean. Go figure. It took us years to make this dream come true. Years of trying different ways, systems, price points, etc. etc. We finally solved our dilemma and are enjoying our new found vacation/travel plans. It meant eliminating some things on Side A so that we can enjoy some things on Side B.
Good post.
Hi Cindi! It sounds to me like you have also rightsized your travel and vacation. Isn’t that a great feeling. And yes, we describe ourselves as “Sunbirds!” I’m guess your formula makes you a little of both? You’ve also explained the compromise bit very well. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – There are so many valuable gems here. They make complete sense to me. Richard and I were honored and delighted to be part of your July trip!
Hi Donna! I think you and Richard are GREAT examples of how to rightsize your travel. And you also make an excellent host for family and friends. Thank you again for such an awesome experience and I look forward to the time we can do it again. ~Kathy
This post resonates with me and my way of thinking/life so much. You said it all much better than I could have, Kathy! This is truly conscious living. So SMART! 🙂
Hi Deb! Hahahaha…well I do try to work the SMART theme as much as possible don’t I? But if this post resonates with you then I’m guessing you have rightsized your life too! I’ll have to have you do a guest post about that next time I’m traveling 🙂 Of course, you might want to wait until after your big move. I’m so looking forward to hearing how that goes. You are picking an awesome place to move to IMHO. ~Kathy
Good tips. I retired 8 years ago and it took a while until I let go of my “business lifestyle” which included lots of shopping and lunches with quasi friends. Now you will find me casual all the time and with people I truly like. We have some friends who will be retiring in a year. The husband wants to buy a fancy RV and travel all the time and the wife doesn’t. We are watching that compromise play out. Fortunately my husband and I have the same retirement goals. We both prefer to stay close to home and look for wows regionally. We are fortunate that there is a lot of music/theater/nature and enough sports to keep us happy.
Hi Kate! I so agree that it helps A LOT if you and your spouse are on the same page with goals and intentions for your future (before AND after retirement!) Like you say, it can be challenging if one things the solution is one thing, and the other partner sees it completely different. Of course, as you know, all relationships require compromise and tradeoffs, but hopefully they aren’t not one sided right? Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this and enjoy your rightsized retirement! ~Kathy
You’re onto something good with the idea that you have to know and remain true to what appeals to you. I often wonder if some people are at all self-aware. I hope that as we get closer to retirement we will be able to make the decisions that’ll put us in as happy of a place as you are. Food for thought here.
Hi Ally! Thanks for the comment. And I doubt much of this is new for many of you…but if you’re like me it NEVER hurts to be reminded. I think we are all constantly bombarded with ads in info trying to “sell” us something rather than taking the time to really sit down and really figure out what is best for us personally. I’d say that you even acknowledge how critical your decisions and choices are at this stage of the game, you are well on your way. ~Kathy