Kloe with the blahs…
My dog Kloe is normally one of the happiest and perkiest dogs alive. Most of the time if just mention the “w” word (as in walk) she starts spinning and doing her happy dance. I’m sort of the same way. Most days I wake up and am convinced that something wonderful is about to happen and I am incredibly fortunate just to be alive. But to be honest, there are days for both Kloe and I when one or the other of us wakes in a funk. We aren’t feeling necessarily bad, just blah. What I’ve gradually learned is that the blahs aren’t usually something to fear, fix or fight. Instead, the SMART thing to do is remember we always have more options than we know and sometimes relaxing into the moment is the best antidote.
Of course, it’s also good to remember a few things we should avoid when we have the blahs.
What NOT to do:
1) Turn on the TV and watch the news.
2) Hang around negative people.
3) Force yourself to work on anything that isn’t absolutely essential.
4) Beat yourself up for not being more motivated or getting more done.
5) Try to talk yourself out of it.
6) Bitch and complain about it to anyone who will listen.
7) Get loaded or drunk.
8) Go binge shopping and buy things you don’t need with money you don’t have.
9) Eat anything and everything you can get your hands on.
10) Convince yourself it will never end or that it’s a “condition” that needs treatment.
11) Force yourself to do something you don’t want to be (be nice, creative, happy, etc.)
After you’ve gone through the above list making sure none of those actions are part of your motivation, then one or more of these should help.
What You CAN DO:
1) Listen to some music you enjoy—the more upbeat the better.
2) Exercise.
3) Get grateful. Spend time listing at least 20 things you are thankful for.
4) Go outside. Spend time in nature.
5) Find something to laugh about (a movie, TV, funny cat videos on You-tube, etc.)
6) Do something nice for someone else.
7) Surround yourself with anything you consider amazingly beautiful.
8) Read something fun with no redeeming value at all. (A novel, magazine, short story)
9) Meditate or pray.
10) Spend time with good friends.
11) Do something purely for the fun of it—with no goal or purpose in mind.
12) Get a massage or take spa day.
13) Watch a movie or video about other people doing good or overcoming tremendous odds.
14) Take a nap.
15) Practice EFT –Emotional Freedom Technique (here’s great direction)
16) Make a plan to do something you’ve always wanted to do.
17) Reconnect with something you love.
Although I’m a naturally optimistic person, I realize that not everyone comes from that same vantage point. If you are prone to depression or something even more serious, different actions may be called for. But for most of us, simply giving ourselves permission to feel the feeling and acknowledge we need to indulge our moods every now and then, can make the difference between an occasional and limited experience, or one that lasts for weeks or months.
I also learned that when I find myself in a funky, blah or even sad mood, that putting a time limit on fully feeling the emotion is helpful. When I woke up yesterday with a case of the blahs, I gave myself permission to spend the entire day feeling that way. Instead of doing work, I spent some time exercising, reading purely for pleasure, and chatting with friends. As might be expected, this morning when I woke up I was back to my usual self.
One Last Thing
One final thing can also help if the blahs become more regular. That is to monitor our eating and drinking. According to Samantha Heller, NYU senior clinical nutritionist in an article on WebMD about seasonal depression, it is good to eliminate all white, starchy foods—bread, rice, potatoes—for at least two weeks. Heller recommends:
Dark Chocolate for the tryptophan.
Popcorn
Oatmeal (original, not desserty)
Nuts
Egg whites for omelets
Peanut butter
Prewashed veggies
Fruit
Whole grain crackers and bread
Deli turkey
Cottage cheese
If we are honest we all have days when we aren’t feeling 100% positive and engaged with life. Fortunately for the vast majority of us this is a temporary situation. Rather than fear it, or try to fix or fight it, sometimes the SMARTest solution is to grab a good piece of dark chocolate and curl up with a good book. At least that seems to work for me. What about Kloe? When Kloe is in a funk she is content to eat her dinner, cuddle for a bit on the couch, and go to bed early. The next morning she is always ready for her walk.
What’s at least one piece of SMART advice you can add in the comments below?
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Petra says
January 7, 2016 at 10:41 AMHi Kathy, I love this post. When I was reading the list of what Not to do, I had to tick off several things that I “commit” here and there, fully acknowledging that all of them truly are a bad idea… 🙂 What works for me when I need to get into a better mood is work. Doing something, getting myself busy, whether it is cleaning or creating, walking or learning… Being active, not passive. On the other hand, sometimes a good sleep – and acknowledging that need – is what matters most!
Kathy Gottberg says
January 8, 2016 at 7:43 AMHi Petra! And welcome to SMART Living. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I agree, staying busy can be a definite help with getting us past our blahs. We all are different and have different ways to deal with our experiences so it’s best for us to “know ourselves” right? And then do what works for us! ~Kathy
Mindy Mitchell says
June 2, 2015 at 2:52 AMWhen I have the blahs it means I am living in my head too much. A slippery slope! Getting into movement is the best thing for me. Out of my head and into my body. Usually the LAST thing I feel like doing but that just tells me it is EXACTLY what I need to do.
Kathy Gottberg says
June 2, 2015 at 9:48 AMHi Mindy! Yes, I agree that spending too much time in my head and overthinking stuff can lead to the blahs. And I ALSO agree that movement is an excellent remedy–especially if that movement is out in nature. Thanks for your thoughts! ~Kathy
Laura Zera says
May 14, 2015 at 11:34 AMOhhhhh, this is a good list. This is the one most meaningful to me: 4) Beat yourself up for not being more motivated or getting more done.
Interesting that the food list included “deli turkey” as opposed to just “turkey.” Wonder what is up with that. And cool that you included EFT. I’ve just started learning about and practicing tapping. I have been hanging out on the Ortner’s site a bit. I decided to start exploring it because it came up about three times in three weeks, so I took that as a sign. 🙂
Kathy Gottberg says
May 14, 2015 at 12:06 PMHi Laura! Yes isn’t it easy to beat ourselves up if we aren’t keeping pace with our expectations? This one is good to remember even when I don’t have the blahs!
And yeah, now that you mention it the “deli turkey” is an interesting way of putting that. Who know why that might be better? And yes to the tapping. I’ve only just heard and read about it myself (although I know there are lots of classes out there and others who promote it.) Let me know (or write about it!) how it goes okay? If nothing more it always helps me to take my mind of a problem and/or situation and I KNOW that is helpful. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Cristin says
May 13, 2015 at 3:22 PMIn my “old age” I’ve gotten better at realizing my mood and walking away from further downers. Sometimes I’ll organize something while listening to music. Organizing always gets good results : )
Kathy Gottberg says
May 14, 2015 at 12:00 PMHi Cristin! I really like that “visual” of “walking away from further downers.” May we all learn to do that better and better as life goes on. And organizing? I’ve never thought of that as a “blah buster” but maybe I should because I am a master organizer too. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
Kathy says
May 12, 2015 at 12:10 PMSometimes you just have to work through the blah if you have things to do. Often getting on with those things makes the blah go away.
Kathy Gottberg says
May 12, 2015 at 2:36 PMHi Kathy. Yes I know that we can’t always not do what needs to be done but I do find that I don’t usually do my best “work” from that state. If it all possible I try to do a little “self-care” first. But with that said, staying busy can also help sometimes. Thanks for your input. ~Kathy
river says
May 12, 2015 at 2:56 AMI don’t have anything new to add, all I can say is when I have a blah day, I usually stay home, read a lot, nap a lot. If the weather is co-operative and I feel like it, I’ll hop on a bus and go anywhere with my camera. But mostly I just stay home and get over it.
Kathy Gottberg says
May 12, 2015 at 2:05 PMHi River! I’m glad blahs aren’t a regular part of your life. I do like that idea of going out and taking photos. That would certainly help take the focus on the “feeling” and allow creativity to flow through you. Great idea. In fact, just about anything creative might work although I don’t usually do my “best” writing when I’m in that place. Still, doing something more visual might be a good solution. thanks! ~Kathy
Tam Warner Minton says
May 11, 2015 at 10:40 AMHow about take a trip? See something new? I find that travel keeps me from getting the blahs to begin with!
Kathy Gottberg says
May 12, 2015 at 1:56 PMHi Tam! For those of us who love to travel I completely agree that getting out of town can snap me out of the blahs. And yes, when I travel I never seem to have that happen either. Thanks for that reminder. ~Kathy
Mona McGinnis says
May 9, 2015 at 10:21 AMI am reminded of children when they are in a “funk”; you know, no matter what you do, you just can’t seem to make them happy. When they are over the funk, they seem to have made some developmental advancement. I’ve come to learn that about myself. Whenever I am in a funk, I sit with it and see where it takes me. I do apply many of the techniques you listed. When the funk is over, I find I’ve come to some new understanding about life, just like the little kid who makes stride in his/her development.
Kathy Gottberg says
May 9, 2015 at 10:56 AMHi Mona! You are so right! We can seldom “force” the funk in ourselves and others regardless of our age. And yes I completely agree that if we look at it there are usually a thing or two hiding somewhere in our subconscious that wants to make itself known so we can ALWAYS learn something no matter what the situation. Thanks for adding that piece! ~Kathy
Nancy Teixeira says
May 9, 2015 at 7:42 AMHi Kathy,
I clicked through to the link on EFT, and it looks pretty fascinating. I will definitely give that a try the next time I wake up feeling blah. Thanks for the useful tips!
xoxo Nancy
Kathy Gottberg says
May 9, 2015 at 10:55 AMHi Nancy! Is this the first time you’ve heard of it? Do check it out because it has become quite popular in certain circles as a very effective treatment for certain situations. A friend of mine who is a licensed therapist uses it in his practice to treat addiction (among other things) and it has a wide variety of ways it can help. And how are YOU doing? Healing well? ~Kathy
Laura says
May 8, 2015 at 3:15 PMI don’t have a thing to add but this. The EFT sounded preposterous when I first learned about it but I tried it. Now I tap for five minutes each morning and I can feel a huge difference in my over all sense of well being and energy level! I love the food list, too!
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 4:00 PMHi Laura! Thanks for your comment and for verifying that even though it does sound a little odd, lots of people do have great positive results using EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). Besides, I’m all for anything that can provide an enhanced sense of well being even if it does sound odd!! I really appreciate you adding to this conversation.~ Kathy
Ali Davies says
May 8, 2015 at 11:34 AMLove your lists. For me, I summarise it by focussing on eliminating the things that drain your mental and physical energy and focus on doing more of the things that give you mental and physical energy. It is a great way to proactively work on reducing the risk of the amount of days that might be blah!
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 3:55 PMHi Ali! Thank you for adding to the conversation and reminding us all that anything that gives us a mental or physical boost of energy is going to help when we have the blahs. And because we are all different, who knows what might work for someone else? Also as you said, the more regularly you do that it might help reduce what them happening in the first place. Thanks again for your advice. ~Kathy
Ali Davies says
May 8, 2015 at 4:04 PMI think you have hit the nail on the head there Kathy – different things work for different people. I think that why building self awareness is so powerful.
Dave Bernard says
May 8, 2015 at 9:40 AMYou are right on with your lists. Watching the news can quickly kill off any good feelings you may harbor with nothing but bad news at a global level. For me getting outside for a walk has great recuperative results. A quick jaunt around the neighborhood and I feel better and my mind sharpens. Exercise is always a positive. And taking some time to sit in the garden and appreciate being alive helps me put things into perspective. Good suggestions – now we just need to heed them! 🙂
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 3:53 PMHi Dave! Yes isn’t the hardest part doing some of the things that we know are good and helpful for us? Silly huh? Like you said I’ll bet every single one of us feels a bit better by taking even a short walk or sitting in the garden. Even when we are busy there is scientific evidence that we benefit by taking a break and are better able to get even more done. Thanks for adding that piece of the puzzle. ~Kathy
Andrea B. says
May 8, 2015 at 8:57 AMThis is a great post. So many important reminders.
The Blahs can suck the joy and life right out of us. I think your idea of exercise works well – I need to do it more! I recommend sunshine and fresh air. It truly helps!!
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 3:51 PMHi Andrea! Glad you liked my reminders. I know most of you all know them but as with most things, I think we can all use the reminders. And YES to exercise and fresh air! Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
Haralee says
May 8, 2015 at 8:49 AMI love this post Kathy. I think your lists and tips are very comprehensive.
I am a happy person. I was born this way but when I do get the downs I need to chat with family or friends and enjoy a laugh, or cook or bake, or both at the same time! I don’t hang out with negative people unless they are forced on me and then I try to make it short.
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 3:50 PMHi Haralee! Glad to hear you too are a happy person. And yes, those of us born this way are very fortunate. But isn’t it nice to know that WE KNOW what we can do to help lift us up when it might be necessary? Plus, any reminder to avoid negative people (or do as you say keep it short with them) is good. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
Rena McDaniel says
May 8, 2015 at 8:48 AMI am usually pretty cheerful, but sometimes it’s just great to turn it all off and watch a movie! These are some really great tips as usual Kathy!
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 3:49 PMHi Rena! I’m glad to hear you are normally a happy and cheerful person. I hope that for us all. But yes, sometimes a movie (and oftentimes a comedy!) is exactly what we need. Glad you liked my tips. ~Kathy
Crystal R. Cook says
May 8, 2015 at 8:14 AMI definitely have the *blahs* today . . . I think I’ll try the nap 🙂 I suppose I needed a few of these remiders today – Thank you –
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 8:24 AMHi Crystal! Oh sorry about your blah day! And while none of my suggestions are rocket science I think we can all use reminders right? Enjoy your nap! ~Kathy
T.O. Weller says
May 8, 2015 at 6:21 AMHi Kathy,
Great reminders! The blahs are a great nudge, telling me that it’s time for some self care. (As long as I heed them.)
I’m not too much of a massage/spa person, but I do love going out for dinner at a nice restaurant or spending an afternoon in a bookstore. It always depends on whether I need more social interaction or the quiet of going solo.
Note that I say “need” — an important key for me is to be aware of what it is I need. For the longest time, I felt guilty giving priority to my own needs. But now? I know how much more I can give to others when I’ve taken care of my needs first.
Kathy Gottberg says
May 8, 2015 at 8:28 AMHi T.O. Thank you for adding that very valuable bit of info by saying, “The blahs are a great nudge, telling me that it’s time for some self care.” I think it is so easy for us to stay busy because of our high expectations of ourselves and if we continue to do it too much we burn ourselves out. Far better to realize instead that along the way some self care can keep us motivated and happy along the way. ~Kathy