Do you realize how much power we possess every time we open our mouth? Or what about when we post something on Facebook, NextDoor or any Social Media? And yes, it’s the same with our notes or emails. Every communication we have with others carries with it the ability to bring a smile to someone’s face and potentially lift their spirit. Simultaneously we have the power to create doubt, anger, distrust or even worse. While we usually can’t turn another person’s life around without their cooperation, we can, with the simple words we say or write, instantly shift the energy in a person or in a room. Let’s start remembering that the words we share with others are like a wand bestowing blessings or curses.
Okay I’ll admit it. I spend a lot of time on Facebook. As a writer, I work at home and am alone much of the day. While solitude is an important part of my ability to be productive, I sometimes feel isolated from others. Not so with Facebook. Facebook (and/or other Social Media) allows me to take a “water-cooler” break just everyone who works for a company can take a minute catching up with others when they pause for refreshment. As long as I monitor my time on Facebook, it usually provides me with a nice break from my work without distracting me from what needs to be done.
But one thing I’ve noticed about Facebook is that not everyone realizes the power they have with every single post they make. During all the time that I have regularly visited Facebook, I have seen the good, the bad and the downright ugly. You see it all. Some people post cute things about their lives and their families in an upbeat and friendly way. Other people make it all about work and daily try to get you to buy or use their services. Some people and/or companies are doing good work in one field or another and post updates or news. Then there are those who seem to spout just about anything on their mind—unfortunately what is on their mind is anything but uplifting. While most posts are at least civil and reasonably polite, others routinely use degrading and negative language on a consistent basis.
For example, one young person that I am Facebook “friends” with decided one day to post on Facebook that she was experiencing not her first, but her second, STD! Not only did she post this extremely private information like it was no big deal, she also used colorful language to describe the other person involved. While I’ve always considered this person a friend and wish her nothing but the best, my Facebook wall is much too important to allow negative information to grow there and fester. A long time motivational speaker named Zig Ziglar once stated, “You would never allow someone to walk into your living room and dump garbage there, so why would you let them post garbage on your Facebook page?” Okay, so Zig didn’t say it about Facebook, but you get the idea right?
The good news about Facebook is that you can immediately erase any negative message from your wall instantly. (Although those words still exist somewhere in cyberspace forever!) Plus, if any one person continues to post in a similar fashion you can block their posts so that their words never show up on your “wall” at all. Frankly, although I have a lot of Facebook friends, I’m somewhat picky about whose messages I read on a regular basis. Hopefully others discriminate as well.
Of course, I’m not immune to using colorful language myself upon occasion, but I never do it on Facebook! Besides that, I make an effort to remember the power of my words and who I’m with and where I’m at. Not only do I think it important to use words of encouragement rather than words of hate, fear and aggression, I actually consider it my obligation. Once we start taking responsibility for our lives and the amazing power of our individual communication, then how can we do otherwise?
Besides that, we might as well face the fact that we are also judged by the words and messages we use on a regular basis. Yes, you heard me right. Don’t you already have some opinion about my “friend” who posted about an STD on Facebook? We are all judged—rightly or wrongly—by the words we use and the things we say. And if that’s true, wouldn’t you rather be judged as a person who went around spreading goodness and hope to others rather than a person who brought cringes to the face of your friends? Wouldn’t you rather be known as an unfailing optimist rather than a discouraging downer? Wouldn’t you like smiles to brighten when you walked into a room, rather than have people hide when they see you coming? Just like in life, if people start blocking your posts and avoiding you, chances are good that they don’t really want to hear what you have to say.
I read one time that Maya Angelo loves to entertain but that she has a very strict rule. If you use any foul language or overly negative talk around her, she will ask you to leave and you would never be given another invitation. Maya said that her personal energy was too important to allow anyone—no matter who they were—to create negativity in her world with their words. Wow! Not only is that courageous—it is SMART too! That’s taking full responsibility for the words you say and the power they contain, as well as the words you hear. And maybe, just maybe, it is creating a world that is kinder and more loving and compassionate than before.
This modified and updated article was originally posted on here on SMART Living 365.com on April 3, 2014. The new title was generated by Chatgpi but the rest of the content is created solely by me.
Hi Kathy,
I couldn’t agree more how powerful words are – they can build up as fast as they can tear someone down! I have seen that video before and it’s very powerful and moving! Excellent choice and fits the subject of the post so well.
Yes, Facebook and all social media has to be monitored. There are too many opinions and words thrown out there with so much negativity and even hate. The reason I don’t want the news every night is a steady diet of everything bad and wrong with the world is not good for my psyche.
Taking responsibility for your life, your words and your actions helps to show positivity and encouragement are the way to go. I’ve noticed when I put out something like that, I feel good about it and it usually gets a good reaction from the people I’m connected with – hopefully bringing a little bit of joy into their day.
It’s good to be reminded of the effects of language and the spoken word so, thank you, for this timely post. Enjoy Mexico!!!!
Having been an IT professional for many years, in education, I found social media helpful, but learned also to be careful.
1. Secure the social accounts that you use. Use strong pass phrases, two-factor authentication, and check and verify security settings frequently.
2. Choose a few social media accounts that are helpful to your life, job, and family. Post when its important.
3. Stay positive, uplifting, and helpful. The internet is forever and never gets deleted, really. Once posted — it’s on someone’s storage system and is backed up in-perpetuity.
Hi Chuck! What great practical advice for staying mindful of our social media. I would say that your suggestions would be helpful for all forms of media as well. (although TV news, radio or newspapers don’t usually require passwords!). All of that information coming into our lives can tilt our thinking one way or another–towards fear or towards delight. And what you say about a person’s “storage system” (our subconscious) is equally important. Much of that input stays there FOREVER! Be mindful for sure. ~Kathy
Your post reminded me of Proverbs 18:21 — Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Why not use our words to build up, to speak blessing, to voice love? And same goes for the words we take in from others. I’m not opposed to foul language per se, and I use enough of it myself, but I do retreat from language that is mean-spirited, judgmental, or hurtful.
Your post also affirmed for me my decision to delete all my social media accounts in January 2022. That is absolutely not a condemnation of social media or those who use it. I think it serves a wonderful purpose for many people. But it didn’t for me, and I don’t regret walking away from it.
Thank you for another thoughtful post that starts interesting discussions!
Hi Galen! I’m down in MX right now and have been a bit tardy on checking on my comments. Sorry about that because I do value every one of them. Thank you for your thoughts on this and reminders of how important it is for us to continually be mindful of both what we say AND what we allow ourselves to hear and process. For me at least, it is an ongoing process. And yes, letting go of Social Media is a good way to do that for many reasons. It does take a good deal of monitoring and discipline to make sure it stays on the positive. ~Kathy
Hi Cathy, wow, if I eliminated everyone from my life that uses foul language or overly negative talk I’d have very few people left to hang with. It’s a good dinner party rule though. Anyone can try hard enough to get through one evening. The video was powerful. Choosing the right words truly makes a difference. Thanks for the reminder to think before we speak.
Hi Suzanne! I agree that language has taken a turn toward the more “colorful” these days. And didn’t that happen rather fast. When I first started blogging about 12 years ago it was a rare blogger who used such language for shock value or to provide emphasis–now it is EVERYWHERE. Maya would be shocked! I think we all have to decide for ourselves what is over the top–but in the end (at least for me) it is all about whether it disturbs me or “fits” with the situation. (I’m thinking of Roy Kent in the TV show Ted Lasso–most of the time his exclamations are just funny!). Maybe the best course of action is just be mindful in as much of our lives as we can…words and writing for sure. Thanks for your thoughts. ~Kathy
I rarely post anything on Facebook and seldom comment either (except an occasional heart or thumbs up) but I do “lurk” a bit. Over the years, I have curated what I see based on my interests and whether the person is or isn’t adding to my life. Although I think there is a danger of creating unreasonable expectations based on all the sunny posts we tend to see (amazing vacations! perfect families! exciting lives! etc.), I also think that some people lose their filters and over-share and/or become keyboard warriors. This is a great reminder that our words matter… some things are best left unsaid, or maybe said face-to-face.
Hey Janis. Keyboard warriors? I haven’t heard that label before. Where have I been? I still think of them as trolls but yeah, they are definitely out there. Fortunately I hardly EVER get them any more because I weed them out quickly at the first hint of that trait in their personality. I realize that creates a “bubble” of people that think a lot like me, but my mental health is really important to me (as their’s should be to others.). And I have also found that if you set it up right you can follow all sorts of people and groups who are very optimistic and uplifting (or at least are into things really interesting to you–like travel!). Most of my FB “Follow Feed” is filled with quotes and amazing photos and I don’t want to give that up. As for good conversation–I COMPLETELY agree that needs to be face-to-face! Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Yes, a great video about the message of different words. Recently I have been more diligent about rereading my texts and posts before sending. Simple errors can show we are sloppy and… Thanks for the challenge Kathy.
Hey Gary. Isn’t it true that just a word or two can make all the difference. Jimmy Buffett has a song that mentions something like how there is a HUGE difference between “lightening” and a “lightening bug!” Taking the time to catch ourselves before just throwing words out is a good practice don’t you think? And yes, let’s all take the challenge! ~Kathy
OMG that video brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful post! So very true!!
Thank you Donna! You are one of those people who always spread goodness with your words. :-). ~Kathy
Aww, thanks!
FB has become the dumping ground for the detritus of human thought and opinion. Well, perhaps with no thought given? I’ve learned to “unfollow” them. If I block, they know that. If I unfollow, they don’t. I do go to the pages of my unfollowed ‘friends’ on occasion as a check-in and leave a like or comment on the occasional non-offensive post.
Being retired has isolated me much like one who works-from-home.
Cheers to a fabulous weekend ahead. Stay cool ?
Hi Elle! I know some people have given up on FB and other Social Media but I prefer to “use it” instead of it using me! I agree that the “unfollow” works pretty well for people you don’t want to totally alienate. That way if you do want to check in with them now and then you always can. No reason to completely isolate ourselves when it is only a few bad apples that can make the experience bad, right? And yes, we are staying nice and cool. I hope you’ve been able to as well! ~Kathy