I have never been a slave to fashion. I’m certain that anyone who knows me personally will attest to that! Growing up as a tomboy with a chunky body, along with braces and freckles, I knew trying to be a fashion symbol was a losing battle even when I was young. So instead of striving for a body image I could never fulfill, I mostly focused on my mind and imagination. Even more fortunate, I later found a man who loved me for who I was—not just how I looked or dressed.
So, I’ve pretty much considered myself beyond the shaming that so many women receive for not conforming to cultural or peer standards about beauty. But that has changed some lately. The current discredit seems to be coming from other pro-aging women who imply that if you are still coloring your hair then you are denying your age and afraid to get older. They also imply that unless you embrace your natural-gray-colored-hair you are contributing to the ageism problem in the world. Sorry? I don’t agree. From where I stand hair color has little to do with how a woman feels about getting older. I happen to believe, like with so many issues, it is actually our internal self-acceptance and attitude about ourselves (and about aging) that makes the real difference.
Of course, society has been doing its best to contain women and tell us how we should look, dress and act for thousands of years. That pressure to conform to outside ideals comes from our culture, from men, and yes, even other women. Everything from what women should wear, the amount of makeup we should or shouldn’t use, cosmetic surgery to change our facial features, size increases or decreases of certain parts of our bodies, and acceptable hair color, all fall within those guidelines. However, what we seldom consciously remember is that nearly all those ideals are put upon all of us by outsides sources. Even when we think we are being unique and rebellious by getting that tattoo, we are often just unconsciously conforming to a peer group, celebrity or media influence in order to be accepted.
When you think about it, most us in Western cultures claim to be horrified at how women and girls are subjected to barbaric body modification practices. Processes like foot binding in China (which was commonly practiced for over 1,000 years), neck stretching and even breast ironing to flatten the chests of young girls sounds repulsive. Even worse is a report done in 2014 by UNICEF that reports female circumcision is currently being practiced in 29 different countries in Africa and the Middle East.
But lest we think we are immune in western cultures to dramatic body modification, a thesis written by Jacqueline Steinberg in 2015 states, “Over 11.4 million cosmetic procedures were performed in the United States (in 2013), more than any other country and comprising almost half of the world total (American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery [ASAPS], 2013, p. 4). The most common cosmetic surgical procedure around the world and in the United States is breast augmentation.” Going further, the report says, “Cosmetic procedures on women have increased more than 471% since 1997 in the United States costing 12.4 billion dollars in 2013.” That’s a lot of money going towards living up to an externalized concept of beauty.
So what does going gray have to do with conforming to other people’s ideas of what makes us feel beautiful? When I first started reading reports from women who chose to let their gray hair grow out naturally, I was in complete support. Whenever anyone does something that they dislike and resent in order to live up to someone else’s standards, it is worth celebrating when they finally decide to say, “No more.” But just because that action might be highly beneficial for them, that doesn’t mean they now get to decide what works for everyone else.
Gray hair runs in my family. It is a mostly genetic expression of my DNA. If I had decided to never color my hair it would have been mostly silver by the time I was forty. The thing is, I don’t really care for that color. My skin color is rosy (remember the freckles?) and my color preferences lean toward earth and autumn colors. While I do own a few things that are black, most of my wardrobe is a mix of bright colors.
On the other hand, I know women who wear almost exclusively black with a touch of white. They are obviously drawn to that color and who am I to say they need to brighten it up? If or when they let their hair grow gray it fits them perfectly and often looks gorgeous. Suggesting they color their hair when it looks good to them would be as arrogant as them telling me what I should do with my hair color.
I also have the advantage of easily coloring my hair myself every couple of months. I don’t’ spend lots of money on any of my hair care (you might have noticed) and if it wasn’t also rather simple and uncomplicated, I might feel differently. It’s similar to getting a manicure and pedicure. If it starts getting complicated and too expensive, I will stop. But as long as it pleases me when I look in the mirror, and it fits within my lifestyle, why not? I’m not doing it (or not not doing it) for anyone else but myself.
But how does that fit with positive aging and am I contributing to ageism? I agree that ageism is a big problem in our country. No one should be denied a job or opportunities due to their age and be forced into looking younger against their will. Yet, isn’t the bigger issue one where all women (and some men too) are being forced to conform to a standard of youth and beauty by marketing companies (and other people) trying to sell us more and more products? As long as we allow outside influences to manipulate us by telling us what we need to do to be relevant, we will be chasing an unattainable solution for our entire lives.
Plus let us also consider how we perpetuate that unattainable image to those younger than us. The more we focus on exterior beauty—be it body image, clothing, or accessories—the more we pressure our children and young adults into believing they will only have worth, love, and value if they too “look good.” Doing that condemns them to a lifestyle where they will never, ever be enough.
In fact, maybe one of the best ways to counteract some of the prejudice and discrimination that people face as they age is for us to all stop focusing on external cues in the first place. How about we celebrate people who are happy, active and still contributing regardless of their age? How about we start valuing each other for the wisdom a person can share with the world, rather than how well they look for their age? How about we all start celebrating getting older instead of striving to meet the expectations of others? I don’t know about you but one of the best benefits of aging is the fact that I don’t need to satisfy other people’s needs about how I should look or behave—so why would we ever tie gray or colored hair to that equation?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating that we all become slobs. I believe most of us want to look our best regardless of our age and do what we can with what we have. But I’d bet that the external judgments of others are a big part of the reason that so many people struggle with the thought of getting older. The SMART perspective is to celebrate and enjoy the journey of aging—no matter what color we choose for our hair, clothing, getting a tattoo, or even our toenails.
Okay, your turn. Do you color your hair or have you gone gray? Do you do either one because YOU want to or because you’ve felt pressure from the world around you? Do you ever feel the same pressure by how you dress? What would happen if you dressed or colored your hair any way you wanted to? Please share your thoughts on this in the comments below.
My mother spent hours in the bathroom every day covering her skin flaws. She convinced me (to this day) not to leave the house without some color on my lips. I do have chronically chapped lips, so no biggee here. As for the gray, being a natural redhead or strawberry blonde, the ever increasing white strands just blend in. So no coloring for me. I will admit that I have a prescription for Latisse, the lengthen my lashes. They used to be so long in my youth, but got short and stumpy and thinned dramatically. I’ve been wearing eyeglasses full time these days, so I may stop this practice soon. I do wear some makeup when teaching, but not nearly as much or as often as I used to. I have several friends my age whose hair has gone silvery white and it suits them. Great post, Kathy, positive aging and our outward appearance is important.
Hi Terri! I think it is much more difficult to overcome those messages from our mothers when we are younger. As you say, as we age it is wonderful to be able to make the choices for ourselves. As I think I said in other comments, I think it matters less what we do to feel good about ourselves than it matters whether we are trying to be someone we are not–including and especially younger than we are. Far better to enjoy ourselves and do what we think makes us feel good about ourselves regardless of what others think. Thanks for your experiences on this. ~Kathy
I don’t color my hair at the moment. But I have in the past… not to cover gray, but to have some fun. I have some friends who went full gray in their late 20’s and have colored for years. 20 and gray just was not where they wanted to be. One just went gray (gray is in fashion and she is a fashionista!) and I actually asked her if it was her natural color… it’s gorgeous! I don’t have a strong POV either way – gray or not. I think it’s definitely a personal choice, like wearing make-up or painting your nails. I am sometimes envious of one of my friends who sports her bright red lips and latest hair color (blonde at the moment)… but it’s really her happy smile that comes through. I’ve been contemplating a streak of cobalt blue to put a toe into the water on being a “bohemian chick”. Wondering if it’ll give me the same really happy smile?
Hi Kathy,
The women in my family tend towards beautiful heads of white hair as they age. I’m getting there, but not as fast as I’d like. I’m also cursed with thinning hair. But I do love the white hair that I have earned so far, and stopped colouring it many years ago. But now I have to lighten the non-white bits with streaks so as to soften the contrast happening on my head. All in all, I like what is happening to my hair (what’s left of it) as I get older.
Deb
Hi Deb! Isn’t that the best? Liking what is happening with your hair right now regardless of your age? I certainly wish that for myself and us all. It’s too easy to be hard on each other when we are set in our ways about how it “should” be done. Far better to enjoy the journey! ~Kathy
I grew up with a mom who never used make-up, colored her hair (still not at 67, the few grey streaks in her light brown hair are barely noticeable), wore jewelry or had manicures or pedicures. I guess now we all know why I don’t care about such things either. Plus, I have to admit, I love the “simple” life that comes with that: no money spent on beauty products or procedures, and I’m done in the bathroom quickly on the morning. Easy peasy, no stress, no money. 🙂
Other than that, I have always dressed the way I wanted and have no clue about fashion. When my clothes are clean and comfortable, I’m happy. And, I guess I’m fortunate that nobody ever said anything about that, or tried to change me. (Not that I would have.) My husband thinks the same, so all good. All that being said, we both do need some new clothes. 🙂
Hi Liesbet! Good for you AND your mom. I do think that mother’s and family members can influence us–and so can our culture. I’m guessing that you didn’t have some of the same pressure as many of us do here in the U.S.? Regardless you have found a way that works for you. I think we all spend money on things we enjoy and feel good about, so it doesn’t always boil down to money (unless we can’t do it without going into debt!) But appreciating what we do have, including how we look, is a great path to a wealthy life, regardless of how much money we have in the bank. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
I believe that positive aging has nothing to do with hair color, but everything to do with attitude! Seniors are not (solely) coloring their hair to cover the grey and the fact that they are getting older, but it is typically something that they, myself included, have been doing their whole life. You should do what makes you feel good about yourself, that is positive living 🙂
Hi Sanne! Thanks for jumping in here to share your thoughts. I think if you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time you know I COMPLETELY agree with you. Hopefully, the more of us who have that approach the more we will be able to change people’s perception about getting older AND about appreciating ourselves. ~Kathy
Interesting post but as a man my only reaction can be: Hey, at least you have hair!
Hi Tom! You always make me laugh. 🙂 But now that you mention it, from many men’s point of view, losing hair is probably a bigger deal right? I am actually a big fan of men (of any age) going completely bald rather than do the comb-over thing or pretend they aren’t losing any. But like with gray hair, I think it depends on how a person “feels” about the look more than whether they are trying to fool anyone into thinking one way or another makes them look younger. Thanks for reminding me of this…and yes, for the laugh too! ~Kathy
Wow, Kathy—what a great response to an interesting and topical subject! I think many Boomer women (and men) are entering a phase of their lives right now, that prompts them to address the graying of their hair. It happens at different rates, and with different effects to all of us eventually. I’ve managed to dodge the tissue so far, although my hair is showing some gray at the temples. I handle this by using a ‘touch up’ dye in those areas, and leaving the rest alone. I haven’t really decided what I’ll do when more gray appears. I think I’ll go for dying it, but mostly I’ll wait and see!
Hi Diane! Yes, thank you for that different perspective on our changing hair color. As you say, it is something that happens to all of us eventually (some sooner, some later) and it does bring up issues of age. So I suppose it is natural for us to equate it with getting older…and bringing up our deepest thoughts about what that means. Of course, I did that with hearing aids a couple of years ago and even though most of us think only old people wear hearing aids, I found out my hearing loss was also genetic. And getting those hearing aids was one of the best things I did for myself. I love them and encourage EVERYONE who even remotely thinks their hearing isn’t as good to get tested. Hearing aids, like gray hair, don’t mean anything about getting older unless we insist they do! And yes, who knows what you’ll decide when you see more gray? That’s as it should be! ~Kathy
Before I moved to Texas, when I was at the ripe old age of 35 (LOL), I wrote a blog post about how I had decided to stop dyeing my hair. One of my most dedicated readers very lovingly disagreed and pointed out that I was being a little judgemental.
Interestingly enough, my hair was red within a few months after I wrote that post! When I had stopped coloring it, it had not turned into the dramatic, white-silver hair I had envisioned. Instead, it was its usual brown, with a few silver highlights that blended in perfectly. My grandma had stopped coloring her hair in her 70’s, and it was the exact same color as mine. Having a head of silver hair is probably not in the genetic cards for me!
My habit is to change my hair during or before making a major life change, so of course I started coloring it again. I went red shortly after moving to Texas, and I went candy apple red when I started a new position at my job and began practicing yoga. Then, over a year ago, I learned about the Law of Attraction and began to visualize changes in my career, and I decided to dye it pink over the summer, then settle down into a more professional look–short and blonde. The Universe did not grant me the high-powered changes I had imagined myself making in my career, and that was fine, because they were only what I thought I was supposed to want. Instead, my professional blonde bob took me through a trial by fire and into the professional and personal changes that I actually craved.
Hi Bethany! Thank you for sharing your experiences of hair color. I think that puts it all in a nice perspective. Of course, I find it very odd that one of your readers would actually tell you NOT do something!!! I never got into trying many colors…although I did try red once (especially with my complexion) but it felt off for me so I stopped. I have always added highlights so now when my gray pops through the blond it just looks like highlights! On the other hand, my youngest sister, even from a young age, was drawn to different colors like you. I think hair color is just a relatively harmless and inexpensive way to express ourselves. And good for you for trying different “looks” and being willing to change. ~Kathy
I came of age in the mid-1970s as a feminist and “natural woman.” I have never coloured my hair or had enhancement surgery, and I don’t wear makeup. I like to wear my hair longish and loose, and I prefer “wash and wear” hair styles. My typical mode of dress is jeans and a tee shirt, with no heels.
In one of my career positions, I was in a responsible role in the organization. Like the other women who worked in equivalent positions at that time, I wore suits, or dressy blazers and dress pants. I wore low heels. I felt that I needed to do it to fit in. However, I refused to dye my hair or wear makeup.
I seem to have inherited my father’s genes and have been slow to go grey. My hair is still mostly dark brown. If I had gone grey early, I can imagine that I may have made a different choice about colouring my hair.
Jude
Hi Jude! Thank you so much for sharing your experience as a person very comfortable in her own skin–and with her own hair! I do think that how early your hair goes gray has something to do with our choices–as well as our skin tone–but again, I think it is so much a personal preference that each of us should decide. I’m like you in the fact that I very seldom wear any makeup at all and that Thom actually prefers me and all women that way. Because we’ve always been self-employed it was never even a question. I guess it always surprises me when I am around women who use a lot of it. But again, it NEVER makes me think of a person as younger looking or older looking–just someone who is into lots of makeup! Thanks again for your example. ~Kathy
I have gone the gray route. My hair tends towards silver and not gray (there is a difference.) I like it and I don’t think it makes me look old. Old is an attitude not an age or a hair color. I know millennials who use chemicals to strip the color from their hair so it looks gray. And please note that I see the gray as a blank canvas on which to have fun with wash out colors like purple and pink. Not sure what direction I’ll go next!
Hi Jennifer! Good for you for having a natural hair color that pleases you. And yes, when I was researching photos I actually came across a number of them with young women who had dyed their hair silver (or stripped it of all color) and thought it looked great on some of them. But I decided against using any of those because it suggests something different from the main point of the post–and that is that we should all feel good about the color we have regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. I appreciate your thinking that you might add some streaks of bright colors on your blank canvas. Wouldn’t that be great if we all thought of our personal adornment in the same way? Thanks for sharing your thoughts. ~Kathy
Yes, I color my hair. I get a cut/color every 5-6 wks. It’s one of my personal indulgences. Without the color, my hair is white. When I’ve left my hair to its natural color, I often get addressed as “Mam” and “Dear” by sales personnel and I often get asked about the seniors’ discount. I do dress and color my hair any way I want – conservative. When my skin tone catches up to my hair, I expect to stop coloring my hair. I have a friend with long, grey hair. She calls it chrome, not grey!
Hi Mona! I wondered myself about the skin tone change that often comes when a person gets older. I might feel very differently about coloring my hair if that happens too. That or if it was too expensive or too difficult to do it as easily as I do. But I don’t really mind if someone offers me a senior discount (that’s my frugal nature overriding my need to be thought of as too young!) Fortunately I haven’t been hit with the Mam or Dear things so not sure about that one!!! And I love the idea of “chrome-colored” hair. Now that you mention it, I have seen that on some women and it does look great. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Excellent topic, Kathy. I do color my hair, and I go to a professional to get the job done. It is an indulgence I plan to do for as long as I can hobble into her shop. Gray hair is not flattering for me and my husband is younger than me – so I don’t want to accentuate that fact by looking older than I need to. I don’t have any plans for plastic surgery and I am a bit judgemental of those who do it. I suppose I need to work on that as it is a viable choice for those who can afford it. I just think people who have had surgery on their face look like freaks. And I am not going to sign up for any surgical procedures that are not essential to my health, since I am a nurse and understand the risks of going under the knife more than most. I turned 65 this year, and I’m happy to look as good as I do, and have my health!
Hi Molly! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us on hair. And I do agree that there seems to be a big difference between some of the extreme forms of “beauty enhancement” than coloring my hair. I live in an area where plastic surgeons outnumber GPs so I am very familiar with the “look” that some people have thinking they are fighting the aging process. The thing is, I don’t believe that any of us necessarily look any younger by coloring our hair or doing all those things that some people are willing to do. I think it is an illusion to think we can really trick people into thinking we are younger or older simply by the way we look–I think our actions and the words out of our mouths are far more important. Of course, with that said, I still believe that we all want to look our best with the resources we have so who am I to say that we shouldn’t all do what we need to do to feel good? HOWEVER, I firmly believe that we shouldn’t do it to fulfill anyone else’s needs or expectations. And congratulations on your turning 65 (my husband Thom just did–whoo hoo Medicare!) and yes to feeling good about how you look and the quality of your health! ~Kathy
I don’t color my hair–though in earlier days I highlighted it as the blonde turned to brown. I don’t dye the gray because the color looks pretty good, I don’t want to spend the money, and I do want to say, in my own way, that I’m OK with aging. My work is centered around helping women feel comfortable with growing older, however that looks for them, and for me that translates to being open and upfront about my age.
I do worry about the cultural pressure to not “look older” and the ways that clashes with individual choices women make. But I think, as you said, the issue is one of personal preference versus wanting to fit in and giving in to fashion and trends. It’s difficult growing older in a society that worships youth. Daring to chart our own way isn’t easy for everyone.
Hi Walker! Nice to hear from you. And I know you also write a lot about positive aging and women’s self-acceptance so I’m not surprised you are okay with your hair color. I think the more we can separate our personal style choices away from doing them to look younger, or not doing them so we don’t look older, is a real key don’t you think? I would so rather prefer that people thought of me as interesting, curious and open-minded that I “look good for my age” wouldn’t you? And while I completely agree it is difficult in a society that values youth, I think that me more we can free all women, young and older, to not feel compelled to meet other people’s standards of beauty that the pressure would be greatly reduced for us all. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Well this was a nice detour from your usual posts Kathy (but still with a right-sizing feel to it because it’s about doing what feels right to us). I’ve seen a lot of “embracing the grey” stuff on SM and it just doesn’t appeal to me either – they always include pictures of gorgeous modelesque women with free floating silver locks – and that’s not the real deal. Most women have bits of grey (salt and pepper) and it makes them look 10 or more years older when they don’t do anything to it – that’s fine if they want to look old but I’m all about looking my best with the least amount of effort (like you described). I go to the hairdresser every 7-8wks for some foils and a trim – the little bits of grey blend into the blonde highlights and I happily carry on with the same-ish colour I’ve had all my life – it works for me. I also have a few pink/purple tips underneath for some fun and that often gets people commenting/judging – but it’s my hair and my choice thank you all very much! 🙂
Hi Leanne! I think what so much of it comes down to is that not only have women been subjugated to judgments by society–but many of us tend to be very hard on each other if we don’t “play by the same rules.” That certainly addresses the whole hair issue. Even when I don’t agree with someone’s “style” choices, why on earth would I ever think I need to tell them about it as if I’m the expert of final authority? Unfortunately what I think happens is that whenever a woman judges herself very harshly she also judges other women with the same eye. I would LOVE it if we could all just support and love each other for our choices–again, that doesn’t mean we agree–but if my choice or your choice doesn’t harm another, why not? Good for you for staying true to yourself with your hair. ~Kathy
Health and happiness are so much more important, as you have written many times before.
Hi Gary! Yes to health and happiness no matter what our hair color! ~Kathy
But couldn’t a woman who opted for breast augmentation or other procedures say that they just felt better and more attractive? I guess it feels like you’re saying that coloring your hair is okay, but cosmetic procedures are conforming to society’s standards.
While I have grey hair, it’s long, which I’ve heard other women say is not appropriate after 40. Frankly, I love the look of long white hair even if, according to some, it makes someone look older. Looking forward to when it, hopefully, turns all white.
Hi Sheila. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and questions with us all. I tend to think there is a big difference between coloring my hair every couple of months for less than $10, or undergoing surgery and spending thousands of dollars to increase the size of my breasts, but that’s me. But what it comes down to is every one of us deciding, truly consciously deciding, what we think will make us feel good about ourselves (on the inside-not to others). Thom heard the story of a local businessman who was quite successful. Back in the 90s he decided to “gift” all the female employees in his office breast enhancements for their Christmas presents. I found that both sad and shocking. Even if you didn’t really want one, can you imagine the pressure to conform? I would love for each of us to decide for ourselves whether something fits us based upon our internal motivations–not some boss who likes women with big chests. And good for you for loving your hair–long and gray too! Don’t you think we should all have that choice? ~Kathy
Oh, I definitely do. Although I choose not to, I certainly don’t begrudge anyone their choice be it coloring or breast augmentation (not as a gift–yikes!). Honestly, though, I have a harder time thinking about Botox and liposuction being anything other than someone trying to maintain a societal standard of beauty. It seems really hard to draw a line.
Yup, it’s a genetic thing. 🙂 My mother has always colored her grey hair as did both of my grandmothers. I have no desire to break this family trend….at least not at this time! Nice post!
Hi Donna! Thanks. This has been on my mind for a while and especially when I see an article or blog post attempting to convince us not to color. I FULLY support people’s right to choose a look for themselves not because they are tricking anyone into thinking they are younger, but because it is a personal preference. Of course, I think it is always SMART to be conscious of “why” we want to color or do any form or “adornment.” If we are only doing it to please someone else then they might want to decide if it is worth it. I personally draw the line at surgery or other expensive treatments–but again, that is my choice. I argue for the right for each of us to decide. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – Now for my more serious reply. It’s SMART to make our own choices about something as simple as hair care…and not try to force the hand of others on this topic.
I’m so sorry that we didn’t get the chance to meet up again in Palm Desert. See you on Vancouver Island!
Hi Donna! I KNEW what you meant 😉 And yes, so sorry our paths didn’t cross again. I thought of you several times but knew you had lots of visitors. I hope you had a spectacular time AND that we get to see you this summer on Vancouver Island! ~Kathy
See you this summer! I greatly look forward to it!
When it reached the point my dyed hair needed touching up every couple of weeks, I gave up and have been au natural for the last couple of years. It’s just easier for me so I’d like to say it’s certainly not a vanity project. However, as I’ve never had so many positive comments about the colour and texture before, maybe it is. Life’s never black or white is it and when it comes to hair colour, there are definitely varying shades of grey.
Hi Caree! Thanks for sharing your personal experience. And I so-o-o agree that if I had to fuss with it every couple of weeks I would re-evaluate my consideration. And if it ever gets to that point for me, who knows? And how great that people admire and compliment you on your color. You must be one of those blessed with the right genes to make it look super attractive. But then again, as you say life is NEVER just black or white and definitely “varying shades of grey.) ~Kathy
Another great post Kathy! I do not color my hair but I did briefly – during what I call my ‘Five Years of Failure’. Life was incredibly tough at the time and I was in a high-level position for my field, interacting with high-wealth individuals. Hair color/cut, makeup, fancy suits — I played the game and totally hated it. I tried to enjoy it but it went against every grain in my body. I’ve always preferred natural, low maintenance – wash and wear, etc. I love to see the magic of makeup, hair, style on others – the before/after — but just never wanted it for myself. I totally agree that the ideal is for everyone to do what fits them and to embrace aging from the inside.
Hi Janet! For me the biggest issue is doing something to fit someone else’s standards of beauty. It sounds like you “escaped” from that pressure fairly fast but I think we all know women who have remade themselves just to fit society’s version of beautiful. I surely hope that is changing but with marketing firms and social media constantly pounding out the message that we need to fit an almost unattainable version of beauty I think it is difficult. Hopefully, by our age we know the difference and can decide for ourselves. But thanks for chiming in here about how our hair color doesn’t really indicate whether we have accepted aging well or not. ~Kathy
I color my hair. When I lost all my hair with chemotherapy it grew back in spotted, like a Dalmatian. It was not attractive. My sister has gorgeous white hair. Both my parents had the same strikingly bright white hair. Unfortunately for me my hair appears white around my face and gray, black and brown through out the back. I have seen women wearing this look and I do not care for it. I have gone lighter, have hi lights put in a few times a year but I will still have my hair colored until the white moves on to the back of the head!. I don’t think I am fooling anyone that I am younger with my colored hair, I do it for me.
Hi Haralee! Thank you for sharing your experience of colored vs gray hair. As you said, your sister and parents have a lovely silver/gray but it isn’t for you…at least at this point in your life. And THANK YOU for really pointing out that I don’t think we fool anyone by coloring our hair…but again, that isn’t the point is it? Far better for us to style, color and enjoy our hair in a way that pleases us. And do our best not to be critical of others who are choosing it another way! ~Kathy