This weekend I will be turning 66 years old. When I was young that sounded pretty old, but as any of us who have arrived here (or beyond), our age has little to do with how we think and feel at a particular number. I am actually quite happy to be 66 for all sorts of reasons and while I can’t do some of the things I did at younger ages (nor do I want to!) , my awareness, my sense of self and the world, my internal and external resources are far, far better than then. Plus when checked it out, I realized that SMART Living 365.com will be turning 10 years old in a week or two. So it is a time of birthdays for both of us and what better way to celebrate than to throw my version of a potlach! Are there gifts? Of course—what kind of potlach would it be without them?
In case you are unfamiliar with the term, the potlach is a ceremony that originated with the native peoples of the Pacific Coast of British Columbia, Canada and into the U.S. Of particular note is the tribe of Kwakwaka’wakw Indians. The Kwakwaka’wakw are famous for their feasts and gift-giving ceremonies called a potlach. While they are often blamed for being the originators of the idea of “conspicuous consumption,” to me they just signaled a strong willingness to throw a big party to celebrate something important. I see the root of it as the idea that when one has a lot to give, then gifting some of it to those around them is a generous thing to do.
When you think about it, the idea of gifting other people when you have something to celebrate forces us to turn some of our thinking around in our overly consuming culture. And with the help of an article about potlaches in the New York Times, I came up with five reasons why I think a potlach is the perfect way to celebrate both SMART Living’s birthday as well as my own.
#1 Simplify and economize. The chiefs of the Kwakwaka’wakw tribes often had over 1,000 people coming to their potlaches. They learned that it was often best just to provide something simple and hopefully meaningful to their guests rather than attempting to handpick something special for each of them. While more notable guests did receive more extravagant gifts, the vast majority received blankets and other useful household items. No, I’m not planning on giving you a blanket, but I will keep it simple and economically viable.
#2 Avoid comparison. As with all gift-giving it might be tempting to try to out-do others. But let’s remember that it isn’t a contest. As with all giving, it is probably best to do it from a place of generosity, not one-upmanship. Plus, one should never give beyond their means.
#3 Share the wealth. Interestingly enough, the Canadian government outlawed potlaches for nearly 75 years because they saw them as “anti-Christian, reckless and wasteful.” I told you the tribal leaders knew how to throw a party didn’t I? But instead, it is largely believed that the potlach signified the wealth and generosity of the leaders throwing the celebration. They are also intended to “create alliances, promote altruism, redistribute wealth, ensure basic needs for all members as well as a little opportunity to “show off.”
#4 Put the focus on giving rather than getting. When was the last time you went to a birthday party for a child? In the vast majority of families it often appears as though the child is being raised to measure their worth by the number and extravagance of the gifts they receive. I’d like to believe it is different as they/we age, but is it? I can’t help but believe that if we all spend our lives expecting, evaluating and comparing the gifts we receive, we not only undervalue the process but train ourselves to expect more. Plus such practices are materially based and extremely external. What would be different in our lives if we switched it around to giving rather than getting?
#5 Whatever you do, don’t forget to celebrate the milestones in your life. I’ve read several articles lately that point out how our culture seems intent on eliminating rituals for all sorts of reasons. Yet I think we need them for our mental and spiritual good health. As meaning-making creatures we need frameworks that help us to mark time, identify important relationships and make sense of the constant changes that life offers. It doesn’t really matter what ritual you use to distinguish important dates, people and times passages—what matters is that we take the time to pause, reflect and acknowledge what matters most to us.
So what exactly do I believe is a worthy potlach gift that I can offer you? In honor of both my birthday and that of SMART Living I want to offer all of you a free kindle copy of any one of my four SMART Living 365 books. Just go to Amazon and download one or all four of them if you like. And remember, if you don’t own a kindle you can download a kindle app (also free) onto your computer and read them that way.
- Simple * SMART & Happy – A SMART Living 365 Guide to a Sustainable & Meaningful Lifestyle
- RightSizing – A SMART Living 365 Guide to Reinventing Retirement
- Positive Aging – A SMART Living 365 Guide to Thriving and Wellbeing At Any Age
- You Get To Make It Up – A SMART Living 365 Guide to Creating a Happy & Meaningful Life
What’s in it for me? If any of these books offer just one or two ideas that help another—my mission is accomplished. Oh and naturally I would love an honest review on Amazon once you finish reading any one of them. But when I remember the reason that I wrote them in the first place, it was always to share ideas with others about how to create a more meaningful, happy and peaceful life. So the more people who read them all the better. That’s why I would be honored if you share this post and/or the links to any friends you know who might also appreciate the offer. Just keep in mind that the books will only be available today 5/21/21, 5/22/21 and 5/23/21 so be sure and get them before the offer expires.
I am deeply grateful for all the good that has come into my life from embracing this journey of SMART Living. And I am also extremely grateful to all of you who read and appreciate my words both here on the blog and in my books. It makes me happy to offer this simple gift to any and all of you as I mark the significance of SMART Living 365’s birthday as well as my own. And it might be SMART for all of us to remember to commemorate the milestones in our lives in any way that reminds us of all that we have to celebrate.
Happy belated birthday, Kathy! I think a potlach sounds like an interesting idea, and I agree about the importance of rituals. I always make muffins to bring to my yoga class, to celebrate milestones and accomplishments. I only tell my closest friends what the milestone is, but everyone knows we are celebrating an accomplishment! 😉
What an awesome gift! Thank you so much, Kathy!!! I can hardly wait to read them. And happy 66th birthday!! I agree – it’s just a number. My birthday is my most special holiday of the year. I absolutely love it and enjoy it more every year.
Yes, we all need to be better at giving than receiving. The world would be a much better place if we lived by that premise. Personally, I like giving better than receiving. It makes me feel so wonderful. My mom and I used to anonymously sponsor a family at Christmas. We would give them all the gifts, tree and food they needed for the season. That was the best present I ever got!!
I didn’t realize the history behind a potlach. And no kidding!! They definitely knew how to throw a party when they get shut down for 75 years. 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing!! It makes you realize what’s really important in your life. I hope your birthday weekend was awesome. Thanks so much for this post and positive thoughts on how to grow in your own life. Enjoy!!
Hey Debbie! You’re so welcome. As most of us know whenever we do something generous we actually get something wonderful for ourselves–the feeling of generosity and connection. Because of that, the vaccine and some good friends I had a great birthday weekend. Just getting together with a small group of people and eating and laughing was super therapeutic. And yes, realizing and then acting out what is most important to us is one of the best ways to celebrate our lives. Thanks for your good wishes! ~Kathy
And we so appreciate how you share your ideas about how to create a more meaningful, happy and peaceful life. So I shared this post on twitter.
Hi Tom! Thank you for sharing…and isn’t that part of what it is all about? I appreciate your ongoing support and believe one of these days our paths shall cross and we’ll meet you and “B” in person! ~Kathy
Happy birthday and blogoversary, Kathy! I agree that life event celebrations are soooo important especially as we age! Hans’ older brother just retired and they threw a huge catered party (potlatch!) for 100 people. Now that is a gift because I know how much the wine alone cost! I think as we age, we appreciate life each day and enjoy finding reasons to celebrate. Now that I am officially retired, I’m grateful I have my blog and photography as creative outlets. I thank you for the gift of the books, Kathy, I’m off to check them out!
Hi Terri! Thank you. And how cool of your brother in law to throw his own potlach for his retirement. Let’s start a trend shall we? I think we all have something we can give to those we care about don’t you think? And congrats on your own retirement and finding your own outlet. That is a huge gift. ~Kathy
Happy birthday! And Happy Blogaversary too – both great milestones and a lovely gesture on your part to share the love by giving away your books. I hope you have a wonderful day for your actual birthday and that you feel the love from all over the world — some coming your way from me with a big Aussie hug (because we’re allowed to do that here!) xx
Hi Leanne! Thank you for birthday wishes from half way around the globe. One of the best gifts of blogging is connecting with other like-minded people around the world. And now that I’ve been fully vaccinated I accept your big Aussie hug! ~Kathy
Wishing you and Smart Living 365 very happy birthdays and thank you so much for celebrating in such a generous way. I chose ‘You get to make it up’ and look forward to curling up with it and a pot of tea to hand.
Hi Karen! Thank you so much and I really hope you enjoy the book. ~Kathy
Happy Birthday Kathy!
Thank you Janet!
Mine is the next day. My son was a present. ?
What a great answer :-). Happy Birthday tomorrow Tracey!
Happy Birthday, Kathy, and Happy Blogiversary! I LOVE how you celebrate. So generous, so joyful and so you!!!
I am a huge fan of your SmartLiving Book Series and highly recommend them to all!
Hi Donna! Thank you. And I so appreciate you for your help and support with both my blog and my books. I am deeply grateful for your friendship! ~Kathy
Happy Birthday Kathy and Happy Birthday Smart Living 365!! Another amazing post leaving my heart feeling all kinds of goodness! When I do my CIZE exercise I’ll do an extra round of Crazy 8’s to celebrate your birthday with you…raise the roof?
Hey Amanda! Thank you. I would consider it an honor if you do some “extras” for me in honor of SMART Living and my birthdays! And please, please download one or all of my books as well as share the link with all your friends who may be interested. That’s my exercise of this weekend!!! ~Kathy
Happy birthdays, Kathy. Not a typo. 🙂 This is a very generous offer of you – pocket-size wisdom that helps anyone of us out. I’ve always enjoyed giving more than receiving, but I’m also against materialism, so picking the right gifts is not always easy.
When Mark and I threw our wedding party, we didn’t want gifts. Instead, we appreciated the presence of our friends and family members and suggested that they “help out” one way or another during the day, which was great! An amateur photographer friend enjoyed taking photos, my sister-in-law created a bouquet from the garden, friends decorated the beach. It was so appreciated and so much fun! Of course, we didn’t want anyone to work during the actual celebrations and feasting. 🙂
Hi Liesbet! Thank you! Because you did something so similar with your wedding party you know where I am coming from. And one of the best things about offering kindle books is that they don’t lay around creating clutter when you are done. I do think gifts can show people that they matter to you but how and when and what is only limited by our imagination. ~Kathy
Thanks for the offer Kathy. I have and have read all four! Great info in each.
I like traditions and hope they continue. I like to give gifts but I don’t like to receive them. Some of it is because I don’t “need” anything and don’t like clutter. Some is because I like friendship, health and sharing a meal. Keeping it simple. Happy Birthday early!
Hi Gary! I count you in as one of my best fans! But that’s interesting that you find it difficult to receive gifts (your good). I think I know a good therapist who can help you take a good look at that hahahaha! Thanks again for all your ongoing support and friendship. ~Kathy
Happy Birthday Kathy, may you have a lovely day of celebrating the special person you are! I always look forward to Friday as I feel you give me a gift each week with your SMARTLiving as it always gives me something to think about in a good way. Congratulations on 10 years of blogging – wow! And I LOVE your books!
Hey Marnie! Thank you for your support and friendship. And if you haven’t read them all be sure and pick it up now. And I’ll bet you know a lot of people. If any of your friends and/or clients would be interested, please share the link with them. I hope to get the word out to as many as possible. ~Kathy
Happy Birthday, Kathy! I wish you many many more!
Happy Birthday to Smartliving 365!
Have a great celebration.
Birthday hugs,
Ruthie
Hi Ruthie! Thank you. Funny how I feel a bit shameless for letting everyone know my birthday is right around the corner and getting all these good wishes. But isn’t that just part of our cultural conditioning. And I hope you take me up on my free gifts. I would LOVE to see 500 downloads because after all, the idea is to share my good! ~Kathy
Happy birthday to you Kathy!!
Hi Deb! Thank you….and talk soon! ~Kathy
Happy almost birthday! I loved the history lesson behind the common ritual of a potluck gathering. Enjoy your celebration!
Hi Janis! I tend to be the kind of person who is always looking forward but a lot of time our past can certainly teach us a lot of wisdom don’t you think. Thanks for the good wishes! ~Kathy
Congrats on 10 years of blogging! A potlach sounds like a fun idea!
Hey Mitch! I’m hoping to start a trend. Are you with me???? 🙂 ~Kathy
Happy birthday, Kathy! I agree with you about our culture trying to eliminate rituals, except those that fuel consumerism e.g. Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter etc., etc. (sigh ?). Wouldn’t it be great if the world’s billionaires decided to throw a potlach, specifically for low-income folks? I’d welcome that.
Deb
Hi Deb! Yes…wouldn’t that be something amazing if we could get the billionaires to share a bit of the wealth with those who could be so supported by it. I too would welcome that. ~Kathy
Happy “Potlach” Kathy! You make 66 look FABULOUS!
Love and Admiration,
Karen
Hi Karen! Thanks for the Potlach wishes! Thanks so much for you perpetual encouragement through the years. I SO-O wish we lived close because I know we would come and be a part of your center! Sending love back at ya! ~Kathy
Oh my, Kathy, wouldn’t THAT be wonderful! xoxo
Happy birthday fellow Gemini! (Since my son was born on the same day, it’s one of my favourite days of the year. ?) Hope you have a beautiful celebration.
Hi Tracey! Thanks from one Gemini to another! And how handy that your son has the same day as mine to help you remember. Without FB reminders I can’t remember anyone’s. When is yours again??? And yes I hope to have a WONDERFUL Birthday weekend! ~Kathy