Like most baby boomers or people who grew up in California, I am very familiar with the statement, “Accepting what is.” A product of dozens of spiritual, philosophical, and psychological perspectives, this phrase is offered as a solution to overcome the trials and tribulations in both our individual lives and the world around us. The problem is, when things in the world seem rather painful, upsetting, and sad, or when our personal lives are in the tank, accepting what is feels not only unhelpful, but flat-out sucks. How can any of us “accept what is,” when the world around us is crumbling? Could it be that the problem is more personal than it appears? [Read more…]
Is “Purpose” The Magic Elixir For A Long, Happy & Healthy Life?
Open any magazine aimed at women over 30 and you are sure to see advertisements promoting the latest in anti-aging. Then as the years go by, it is nearly impossible to avoid the constant barrage of commercials claiming to have the secret to avoid ever getting old. Yet, if we pause for a moment before spending our hard-earned money, we know that the only real way to prevent aging is for our lives to end. Face it. Eventually, the longer we live, the older we will get. Perhaps instead of fussing about how we look, or thinking we can live forever, what we truly want and crave is something that makes each day of that journey rich and meaningful. Fortunately, such an elixir is available to us all and doesn’t cost a dime. That magic potion is to find and live a purposeful life. [Read more…]
7 Things I Learned To Do, And Not Do, From My Mom
Mom and I during our first trip to Hawaii in 1983
As a kid, I wanted to think of my mother as the most beautiful, loving and witty woman in the world. Didn’t we all? Then as I teenager, I came to the conclusion that she probably didn’t know half as much as I thought I knew about absolutely everything. Finally as an adult, I’ve come to understand that she was just a human being doing the best she could with the awareness and consciousness that she possessed at the time. Thankfully, I no longer need her to be other than who she was, and I can appreciate the love and gifts I learned from her along the way. That’s why in honor of Mother’s Day I decided to look back on the things she taught me to both do, and NOT do, to live a long, happy and healthy life.
Choosing To Be Time-Rich Instead of House-Broke
The young couple who live across the street from me are selling their home. I’ll be sad to see them go because they’ve become friends and we’ve watched their son Timmy grow from a toddler to a boy. Where are they going? They’ve decided it’s time for a bigger house in a more affluent neighborhood. Of course, it’s hard to sit in judgment after doing something similar years ago. Still, I hope they never find themselves so pressed for time that they forget what gives life meaning, and instead becoming slaves to a big mortgage and extravagant home expenses. In other words, I hope they never find themselves house-broke and unable to do anything about it. [Read more…]
3 Reasons Why Arguments Can Better Your Relationships
“…if you are spending more time on Facebook than face-to-face with your partner, you may be yearning for connection, for belonging, or to matter.” ~ J. Wright, EdD
My husband Thom and I married 38 years ago and never once did I think our fights contributed to our great marriage. Until now. Both of us are verbally energetic which is wonderful when we are happy, excited and in harmony. However, just mention the word “no,” or express an opposing opinion, and the words can fly fast and furious. Fortunately, after all these years we’ve learned a great deal about each other and what triggers defensive or aggressive retaliation. These days our energetic discussions usually end quickly, and are far fewer and further between. But now, a new book titled, The Heart Of The Fight by Judith and Bob Wright, EdDs, puts our arguments in a positive new perspective. According to the Wrights, at the heart of the every fight is a tremendous opportunity for all relationships, and for each individual to grow and thrive. Who knew? [Read more…]
Is It Better To Look Good or Feel Good?
Is it better to feel marvelous or look marvelous?
Last weekend I decided to treat myself to a bit of relaxation by reading one of my magazines. As usual, I flipped through the slick front pages of glamorous women wearing designer clothes, ads promising hot sex and love by simply using certain cosmetics, and a list of the “Best of the Best” showcasing uber-expensive items the magazine believes we “must have.” Digging deeper to find something beyond the frivolous, I spotted, “Slow Anti-Aging ~ The New Secret To Looking Your Best.” Unfortunately, instead of offering advice on how to live well and happy no matter what your age, the entire article focused on expensive treatments that slow the effects of getting older while fooling others into thinking you come by it naturally. What? Is that even possible? [Read more…]
Five SMART And Timeless Lessons From Star Wars
I vividly remember sitting in a small theater in Atlantic Beach, North Carolina with my soon-to-be-husband Thom watching Star Wars for the first time in 1977. The innovative film technology brought the classic story of good versus evil to the screen in a visually exhilarating way. That summer we sat enthralled by the movie seven times and since then at home, probably a dozen more. Fast forward to 2016. After all these years the Force has been reawakened. Not only does the new Star Wars revive pleasant recollections of all the space adventures we’ve witnessed during the last 39 years, it also reinforces timeless lessons that are now simply part of our culture. Regardless of whether you are a fan or not, and irrespective of your age, Star Wars offers, at least, five big ideas that can lead to a happy and SMART life. [Read more…]
Quiz: Things We Didn’t Know When We Were Young
Back when we thought we knew just about everything.
Can you remember back to a time when you thought you knew everything there was to know about life and love? Thom and I were talking the other day about how dramatically that has changed for us. As Thom likes to say, “The older I get, the less I know, but the more I understand.” Do you feel the same? With that in mind, Thom and I came up with 60 things we think we now understand that we didn’t even know we didn’t know when we were young. If you are over 40, take this test to see if you agree. If you are younger than 40, then here are some things we think you have to look forward to understanding on a deeper level as you age.
Fearless Travel And Adventures In Egypt
Camel riding around the great pyramids of Egypt.
For as long as I can remember I wanted to travel to Egypt. I’m not sure if it was a vision of the pyramids or movies about Cleopatra that created the longing or not. I just knew that given the chance, I would go. In 2015, I turned 60, and I had no interest in a big party or an expensive gift. Instead travel, as usual, was at the top of my list. Now, after just returning from nearly three weeks in this chaotic, ancient and mesmerizing country, I still don’t know for certain why I needed to go. But what’s clear is that the biggest thing to fear about traveling to Egypt is the challenge it gives to our comfort zone, our limited scope of history, and our egocentric view as citizens of planet Earth. [Read more…]
2017 — A Blank Sheet of Paper Awaiting Your Story
This weekend Thom and I return from our vacation. But rather than a guest post, I am offering one I wrote four years ago. After re-reading it, I realized that this idea was exactly what I wanted to share with you at the start of another new year. Please join me in 2017 as we all write a story of peace, well-being and meaning for ourselves and others in 2017.
As a writer, it’s easy for me to imagine each New Year as a blank sheet of paper awaiting my creativity. But that metaphor actually works for everyone. Every year we each have the potential to start over with a story—our personal story for sure—and any other story we want to create. Some of you may have already started by creating a year filled with all sort of drama and possibility. Others are planning to make this one just another carbon-copy of last year. Or, for those awake and aware, some of us are willing to accept the idea that this year’s story can be filled with all the peace, love, adventure and purpose that we desire. As usual, the choice is up to us. [Read more…]
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