One thing that seems to help people when faced with grief, illness or a hardship of any kind is to discover others who have faced and overcome their challenges. That doesn’t deny the difficulty, but it does remind us that we are not alone and all of us are dealing with things at one time or another. And in spite of Social Media, most of those trials are invisible to anyone but ourselves. It confirms, at least to me, that if other people can meet and graciously overcome their difficulties, then the possibility exists for me as well. As it turned out, this month’s Book Club selection, On My Own Two Feet by Amy Purdy was exactly what I needed at this time. Surely if someone like Amy Purdy can overcome her challenges, there is hope for all of us, no matter what we are facing.
I confess that I had never heard of Amy Purdy before ordering the book. I am not a fan of reality tv so when I learned she came in as a runner-up on one season of the show Dancing With the Stars I wasn’t impressed. I really only decided to give the book a try because I was told it was an easy read.
It is. But her story about contracting bacterial meningitis at age nineteen where she hovered between life and death is captivating. With a two percent chance of survival, Amy recalls a near-death experience where she was given the choice to stay or go. She chose to go on living, with the awareness that no matter what happened, it would all make sense in the end.
Just surviving a near-death experience is bad enough, but Amy’s challenges didn’t end there. Unfortunately, her disease required that she have both of her legs amputated below the knee. One can only imagine how difficult that realization would be for a young, active and attractive woman. Making matters worse, Amy lost all hearing in her left ear, her spleen was ruptured necessitating removal, and both of her kidneys shut down requiring a kidney transplant or a lifetime of dialysis. Fortunately, her father’s kidney was a perfect match and following that operation she was finally able to leave the hospital.
I think when anything dramatic happens to us or our loved ones we sometimes ask, “Why did this happen?” It turns out that what happened to Amy was rare with no discernable cause. Yet rather than make herself crazy by trying to figure out the why of it, she offers this advice, “You can spend your whole life questioning. You can scrutinize every little thing you said or did, every little decision you did or didn’t make. It’s normal to look back…But ultimately it doesn’t help to keep looking. Or regretting. Or berating yourself for what you can’t go back and change.”
Amazingly, through it all Amy stayed optimistic. Even when her doctors told her that she might need a cane just to walk, Amy decided instead to focus on what she loved doing—snowboarding. However, to just get started she needed to be fitted with prosthetics and then she had to re-learn how to walk. With the support of her family and a powerful determination not to feel sorry for herself, she set the intention that she would snowboard again in the upcoming season. It didn’t matter that no one on the planet had yet accomplished that as a double amputee.
One of Amy’s more powerful proclamations is something she came up with early on. That saying is, “If my life were a book and I was the author, how would I want my story to go?” As she confronted herself and her new “legs” she realized she would need to write a new story about herself that included a new version of her legs—and then how and where she would go from there.
I won’t go into her entire story, but not only did Amy Purdy go on to snowboard again, she and her boyfriend founded an organization called AAS (Adaptive Action Sports). That organization helped her design new legs and feet that allowed for snowboarding as well as be instrumental in getting snowboarding included for the first time in the International Paralympic Games in 2014. From there she became qualified to compete in those games and eventually earned a Bronze Medal. Four years later in 2018, she took home the Silver.
Along the way, Amy decided that she would share her story with others to inspire other children and adults who required prosthetics. Since then she has gone on to do a TED Talk (2011) and also appeared on the Oprah Show. Besides that, Amy speaks to high school students and groups reminding them that “Maybe instead of looking at our challenges and limitations as something negative or bad, we can look at them as blessings—magnificent gifts that can be used to ignite our imaginations and help us go further than we ever knew we could go.” And yes, Amy Purdy and her dance partner were semi-finalists on Dancing With The Stars in 2014.
Of course, there are likely people who say “…yes, but…” to her accomplishments. Yes, but she’s young so of course she can overcome that.” Yes, but my difficulty is much different and harder to deal with. Yes, but….you fill in the blank. Isn’t that many of us do when faced with a challenge that we really wished we didn’t have to address? That’s why her statement, “If my life were a book and I were the author, how would I want my story to go?” is so powerful to me.
It is also normal for most people going through a difficult time to become myopic. Far too often we become so focused on ourselves and our own feelings and concerns, that we forget that nearly everyone, everywhere is also facing challenges. Getting out of our own heads and seeing how others are handling their struggles can be empowering. Plus, if we reach out and try to help and comfort others, we often find our own issues diminishing and discover strength we never knew we contained.
This last week, the death of my sister and all that entails filled my mind. Meanwhile, Amy Purdy’s story stood out as a reminder that we are all dealing with issues—but we do have a choice about how we want the story to go. While I can’t change the story for the rest of my family, or for anyone really, I can decide for myself. As Amy says, “Nearly anything is possible….even when a circumstance can’t be changed, we can alter our perception of it.” As usual, it’s SMART to remember we always have that choice.
Okay, your turn. When you are facing challenges does it help you to hear about others who have triumphed in spite of the odds? Have you ever faced a difficulty so big you weren’t sure you could overcome it–and then did with more strength than you thought you had? Please share in the comments below.
Wow, what an inspiration Amy’s story is. Amy demonstrates such strength of character and determination. She is an exceptional young woman. Often in life, it is the challenges or the bad things that happen to us that give us the opportunity for the most growth. In the moment, though, it is hard to imagine that anything positive could come out of our worst experiences.
Jude
Hi Jude! Yes, I agree that it is difficult for some people to imagine the mindset that Amy held as she overcame her challenges. But as I’ve written about before some people are able to turn adversity around and create something good out of it…called PTG Post Traumatic Growth (as opposed to PTSD)…I think there is something for all of us to reach for if we try. Here’s that post in case you are interested. https://www.smartliving365.com/going-beyond-ptsd-trauma-pain-reveal-post-traumatic-growth-ptg/ ~Kathy
What an amazing woman and a powerfully inspiring story, Kathy. Thank you for sharing. Stories like this force me to reexamine my life and choices and do more.
Hi Corinne! Thank you! But I’m not at all surprised that you also like uplifting stories like Amy’s because I know you constantly write on your own blog about uplifting thing. I so believe that one of the most powerful things we can do for each other is to keep on reminding each other. And I hope all is well on your side of the world today! ~Kathy
Love this article ! I plan to share it with a relative who was in a tragic car accident caused by his own drinking and drug use. He had to have the same surgery as Amy–amputation of both legs below the knees. He has been angry and depressed for many years. I believe that this article and her book will be of tremendous benefit to him. Thank you !
Hi KZie! I sincerely hope that some of these ideas are helpful for your friends. Just knowing about Amy is something each of us can keep in the back of our heads to help work through our challenges. of course, each of us is so different and we can never really know how another person needs to grieve. But just being a support system to your friend with the knowledge that they can create a good life for themselves (no matter what!) is surely empowering. Thanks for sharing your story. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I had to google “play guitar with feet” and this Atlantic article came up about Mark Goffeney in San Diego with a video (7 minutes) that is amazing!
https://www.theatlantic.com/video/index/417561/the-rock-musician-who-plays-guitar-with-his-feet/
I read every post you write but this is my first time commenting. Thank you for all your helpful insights and resources.
Jeannine
Hi Jeannine! AWESOME! Thank you so much for sharing this video! We never knew the name of the man playing the guitar…only that he was amazing. It is so nice to know that he is still busy playing, making music and living an awesome life. I hope everyone who reads this post takes the time to watch the video. So inspiring. And thanks for letting me know you are out there Jeannine! You’ve made my day! ~Kathy
I love how she worked to overcome her own setbacks and then turned around and created a better and more empowering world for others. Wow. Just wow.
Hi MarciaB! Thank you for sharing your enthusiasm for Amy! She is an amazing woman and I hope she inspires us all. Have an awesome week. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, Amy is a remarkable woman and such an inspiration. It certainly is humbling when you see people who obviously have so many more challenges is life that many of us will ever encounter, just getting on with life and their acceptance is remarkable. I would love to see her perform on Dancing with the Stars. Proof again we can do anything if we really have the passion to. We recently had the Commonwealth Games in Brisbane, and I am always inspired by the athletes but especially the para-athletes who have not let their disability stop them achieving their dream. Thanks for the inspiration once again. I’m not sure if you link up to link parties but each Wednesday I co-host Midlife Share the Love Party which is a special niche for blogs that are about the Midlife & Beyond journey You can find the link on my website and we would love to have you.
Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
Hi Sue! Yes, any time I start reading about and watching such incredible athletes I am amazed. There really are some extraordinary people in the world to inspire us if we can get out of our own heads and look around. And yes, I’m aware of your Share Party! It is such a wonderful resource. I do mean to get more active on it but as you know, it’s been a busy and complicated month. I’m hopeful that May will be much, much better. Thanks for dropping by with the invite! ~Kathy
Like we’ve heard so many times, it’s not what happens to you, but how you respond, that makes all the difference in life.
Hi Tom! May we ALL remember that “it’s not what happens to you, but how you respond, that makes all the difference…” Thank you for continuing to share that message. ~Kathy
What a story! Her challenges and triumphs turn my piddly concerns into mush! And you are right —nearly anything is possible!
Hi Diane! Yes, isn’t that the truth???? Any time I want to pull a pity-party for myself all I usually have to do is think of someone like Amy. Or what about the young man named Nick Vujicic who was born without arms and legs. Have you seen any of his videos? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P2nPI6CTlc so very powerful. Just watch this if you find yourself sliding into hopelessness–just watch that!!! ~Kathy
What a beautiful post, Kathy. Since I am quite myopic right now about the A-Z challenge, I couldn’t help but read your post with the awareness that what you’ve told us of Amy’s story addresses my posts: W (nothing is wasted), X (importance of a positive attitude), and today’s Y (facing your own mortality). Monday’s Z post is about self-understanding, something Amy and you have in abundance. Thank you for sharing this story and your heart, Kathy.
Hi Karen! I’m in awe of you (and a couple of others) who have not only stayed with the A-Z challenge–but also created content that is helpful, hopeful and interesting! I am looking forward to reading your Z post but probably not as much as you are to having it posted. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ~Kathy
Beautifully written piece, as always…touches my heart and inspires me to live life bigger. You’ve been in my heart and on my mind so much recently! Sending much love and a big hug your way! ?
Hi Marcia! Thank you. It does my heart good to know that this post inspired you and that you find my writing helpful. One of these days we will get together in person right? ~Kathy
She certainly has an inspiring story. Stories like hers or meeting people who are living with multiple challenges is inspiring to me to get out of my comfort zone or to shake myself from being scared of something.
Hi Haralee! Yes, isn’t is such an affirmation to keep going no matter what? And the photo of the young man was one Thom took about 15 years ago in Balboa Park in San Diego. I wish I had recorded his music because he wasn’t just playing the guitar well with his feet, he was also singing his heart out (and yes he had a good voice!) all the while playing in a remarkable way. We were so inspired by him that we’ve kept that photo handy to remind us that most anything is possible if you want it badly enough. So important to remember! ~Kathy
Amy’s is a truly inspirational story. I think we forget not only the training and effort that goes into being a Paralympian but also the adversity they have to overcome in the first place. They are amazing people and you’ve reminded us that with the right mindset we can all be amazing too.
Hi Caree! You are so right. She does go into some of what was required of her to be able to compete at such a high level but I still don’t think most of us can even imagine the determination and effort required. She admits that she never even considered herself athletic until she did. Hours and hours and hours of work…and meanwhile she was often working to support herself at the same time. She continually reminds us all that we are more capable than we know. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. ~Kathy
Thank you for introducing us to Amy! Stories like hers really helps us put our own lives – and challenges – into perspective. Not only did she survive her illness, but she has thrived. In addition, she has had experiences that she would have never had if she hadn’t contracted bacterial meningitis. Although it’s a disease none of us would ever choose to have, her fortitude and positive attitude in dealing with it has given her a life of great joy and fulfillment.
Hi Janis! Yes to the thriving!!! And, as you said, nearly all the experiences she writes about were directly related to her overcoming her illness. She seemed like a rather ordinary girl until her experience caused her to reach down deep inside and decide how her story would go. I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one encouraged by her story! ~Kathy
Stories like these are so incredible and empowering, Kathy! When I hear or read about them, I am in awe and respect of the people overcoming such challenges and circumstances, and I am baffled and surprised by their positive outlook and determination. Yet, when I’m facing something incredibly tough, I do seem to find the strength to deal with it as well. Humans can stand a lot! After the facts, I’m surprised at how we managed to overcome those situations, because at the times themselves, nothing seemed worth living for anymore.
Hi Liesbet! Me too! It so reminds me that when I stop looking at my own issues and reach out to others I am nearly always comforted AND encouraged. I also agree that humans are much stronger than we normally realize. Thanks for pointing that out! ~Kathy
Thank you for sharing this story and reminding us that we are the writers of our story.
Hi Ann! You are welcome. And yes, as it happens, I tend to write about what I most need to hear myself. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – What a powerful post! I hadn’t heard of Amy before. Thank you for sharing this with us. I especially like her quote, ““You can spend your whole life questioning. You can scrutinize every little thing you said or did, every little decision you did or didn’t make. It’s normal to look back…But ultimately it doesn’t help to keep looking. Or regretting. Or berating yourself for what you can’t go back and change.” That is so true. And so empowering.
Thinking of you and continuing to send warm thoughts your way.
Hi Donna! I’m guessing you aren’t a fan of reality tv either. 🙂 She really does sound like an amazing young lady and I never did get around to listening to her TED Talk (at least not yet) and she was on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday too. Regardless, doesn’t it help to hear about people like Amy? I am so in awe at how some people can take what I’d consider the worst situation and turn it around for the positive. Thank you for your thoughts AND comment! ~Kathy