I’m in love. Don’t worry, it’s likely just an infatuation with a 78-year-old man named James Hollis Ph.D. I first encountered his work a month or two ago and since then I’ve read articles and listened to every podcast and YouTube lecture from him I could find. Who is he and why am I infatuated? On the surface Hollis is a practicing Jungian analyst and depth psychologist, author of over 15 books, a public speaker, and the former executive director of the Jung Society of Washington D.C. What I find particularly attractive are the thoughts and ideas that he routinely illuminates—a big part of which is the examination of our lives as we mature and enter the second half of life. And in spite of the many distractions we all face, I can’t help but be captivated by the goldmine of introspection he offers for those of us who are drawn to greater self-discovery and awareness, along with other insights about the innermost workings of our psyche.
First a little more background. Hollis by his own admission started out like many in our society by climbing the ladder of success. He graduated from a good collage, landed a professorship at a private University, got married, had children and enjoyed what appeared to be a perfect life. That was until he turned 35 and suddenly he was gripped by a major depression and feelings of emptiness. He first began his own therapy, and ended up in Switzerland where he studied to become an analyst at the Jung Institute. Once licensed, he opened a private practice in Houston and then D.C. by carrying out the work that his soul guided him to create.
At the core of Hollis’s work is Jungian analysis. But surprising to me was the admission that the people who come to see him aren’t there to be fixed from their “issues.” According to Hollis, the symptoms of pathology are not aspects to be fixed or even moved beyond—they are there as indicators of what our soul feels needs our attention. Hollis believes that most of psychological issues people face like depression, anxiety, paranoia and addictions are really messages from within our psyche about where we are unconscious or aren’t being true to ourselves. Are we listening? It depends. According to Hollis it takes either courage or desperation to be willing to follow through with what is being asked of us from inside.
When do many of those messages start showing up? Chances are good that most of us will face a time in the future (if we haven’t already) when our deepest self will revolt, telling us we are living an agenda that isn’t right for our Soul. Hollis calls that point, “The second half of life.” While it often happens at midlife, it can happen at any pivotal time where some life event occurs that is difficult to ignore. Things like a death of a loved one, a divorce, getting fired from a job, or facing a life-threatening illness, an empty nest, retirement, or anything that rocks your world. All those events can cause our psyche to insist on our questioning the roles we’ve blindly accepted or many of the choices we’ve unconsciously made merely because that is the way we felt we needed to when young.
Of course we can try to will, ignore or push those messages away. Some people do it their entire lives. But again, if we are desperate enough, or have the courage, we can stop and do our best to discover what our deepest Self wants us to know. And while Hollis typically uses the word soul, he doesn’t mean it in a religious way. His perspective is that we all have a deep inner awareness that holds the blueprint for why we were born and what we are here to do. If we listen and allow it to guide us, we will live a life of congruency and authenticity. Of course that doesn’t mean it will be easy or comfortable, only that it will fulfill the purpose and meaning we were born to live. Or, as the Gospel of Thomas said, “If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”
I could actually write for another hour or two about some of the insights I’ve gained so far from this man, but this is where I want to start. In fact, if you listened to the first SMART Living vlog that I posted last week, I revealed that my word-of-the-year (or WOTY) is “Yes!” What I didn’t say there was that I got the idea from James Hollis. In one of his interviews he explains that every morning each of us wake up with two gremlins sitting at the foot of our bed. One gremlin is fear. Fear that we aren’t good enough, fear that others will judge us if we don’t toe the line, fear that tells us we’ll look stupid if we do something, fear encouraging us to play it safe, be careful …need I go on? The other gremlin is lethargy. That gremlin tells us, “Don’t worry about it. What can you do anyway? Let someone else fix the problem. Go shopping or self-medicate. Just stay busy, entertain yourself, and everything will be fine.” Both of those gremlins are aspects of our personality (our shadow) that want to keep us small and comfortable. So for me, instead of letting my life be guided by either fear or lethargy in 2020, I intend to do my best to let my innermost being direct my path. I intend to listen and say “Yes!” to what I am guided to do and be in the 365 days ahead.
Of course, it’s necessary to accept from the beginning that the purpose of our life is not just to be safe, predictable or live a life of comfort. And believe me I twinge a bit even as I write that because who doesn’t like to be comfortable now and then? But what are we sacrificing if we choose safety and routine day-in and day-out? Hollis teaches that in spite of our ego demands or our shadow personality, our psyche is here for developmental growth, learning and enlargement. Yet he continually reminds us, “it takes a strong sense of self and no little courage to examine and take responsibility for these darker selves when they show up.” It is so much easier just to deny them, run from them, blame or project on others, or bury our issues, rather than to consciously and lovingly look them in the eye and listen to what they are attempting to teach us.
If Hollis has a recommendation for us as we navigate our second half of life, it is to keep asking questions and remember that none of us “are getting out alive anyway.” He urges us to “grow up, show up and to step into it (our lives) more fully.” He also likes to quote Jung who reminds us that, “Life is a short pause between two great mysteries.” So let us live a life in service to our highest most innermost voice to the best of our ability. Also according to Hollis, “It’s not what we do that matters…it’s what it is in service to inside.” If we can ask and then follow that suggestion, we will surely discover the meaning and purpose we were born to fulfill.
I’m not sure if I’ve been able to communicate even a bit of the ideas that I’ve picked up from this man in the last few weeks. But my attraction has started me asking myself deeper and more honest questions as I head into this new decade. We all have forces in the world telling us what to do and who to be. Perhaps the SMART challenge, and certainly mine, is to say “Yes!” to that voice within and follow where it leads.
For anyone who is interested, here is a link to the first podcast I listened to that got me hooked. Insights On the Edge with Tami Simon
Yes! As a psychotherapist for forty years, I agree with Hollis that “it takes either courage or desperation to be willing to follow through with what is being asked of us from inside.” The best thing is that we listen and make some changes. Write more about what you are reading and learning…
Hi Gary! Thank you…and I think you can guess that you’ll be hearing more about Hollis and what I’m learning from him in the weeks ahead! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy. I got the “wake up call” during my final career job. It became very clear to me that the work I was doing, although necessary and valuable, did not align with what I ought to be doing. I didn’t know what I ought to be doing, but I clearly knew that was not it. It was a big part of why I retired when I did. I am still figuring out what my purposes for this last phase of life are, and it is very easy to get diverted into comfortable and self-gratifying behaviours!
Theo, who led the meditations during our yoga retreat in Crete is a Jungian psychologist. I found the guided meditations of our shadow side very intriguing.
Jude
Hi Jude! Good for you for recognizing that your final career job was not your soul’s work! And I so agree that we can be so easily distracted….Hollis has a LOT to say about that! And naturally he has a great deal to say about our shadow sides as well. My understanding is that that journey within is deep and vast and takes an entire lifetime to explore. Hollis is pretty clear that we will never be fully “done” so we might as well appreciate the journey! ~Kathy
leave a comment, read the comments.
Hi Kathy, A huge WOW “…indicators of what out soul feels needs our attention.” Your post reminds me of the concept of our soul being in “Earth School.” I greatly appreciate how you have brought James Hollis to my attention. Your sentences on Fear really resonated with me. Your post came at a time when I needed to hear these messages. Kathy, you have been able to communicate a complicated and core message. Yet, I need to explore it further. I have bookmarked your post and I have made a note of the podcast you recommended. Thank you.
Hi Erica! I’ve heard that term “Earth School” before but can’t remember where from? It is a nice visual isn’t it. And I would love to know what you think of James Hollis. He has given me a TON of thoughts to process lately and he is really easy IMHO to listen to. Do start with that podcast link of him on the post. It is a great introduction. I am now reading his book “Living An Examined Life–Wisdom for the 2nd half of the Journey” and there are several more blog posts that are sure to come out of it! ~Kathy
Yes, those dark days. During a dark time when I was looking for comfort, a sage friend once said to me – stay with it and see where it takes you. Where it took me was a journey of self reflection and discovery.
Hi Mona! One of James Hollis’s books is titled, “Swamplands” and in it he talks about those dark days. I haven’t read it but he talks about how we all have times like that and as your friend suggested, they are a doorway into what is going on with a person (if they have the courage!) It sounds like you followed the path and it turned out well for you. Thank you for sharing that! ~Kathy
HI, Kathy – I agree that there’s lots to digest here. Thank you for sharing this with us so succinctly.
Any writing that inspires us to ask ourselves deeper and more honest questions, sounds like very worthy reading to me.
Hi Donna! Yes I know it was a bit deep but I thought you all could handle it after the vlog last week!!! And I’m fairly bursting with all the ideas that I’ve gotten after listening to talks by James Hollis for a couple of weeks. I REALLY had to contain myself not to try to throw everything out in this first go around. There is so much there that I can guarantee that you’ll be hearing more about what I’m learning from him in the days to come. Thank YOU for taking the time to read it! ~Kathy
I look forward to reading more!
This is one smart man. I resonate deeply with this information. I believe that our soul has longings that speak to what it is we are supposed to be or do and when we don’t listen, we are miserable. Of course the path is not always easy and even when we listen to the call we make wrong turns but the goal is to move in the direction of our truest selves. Your ” yes” speaks to me, and I get it. My plan is to listen and try to follow my true path.
Hi Michele. Oh yes. The more I listen to the words the more I agree that he is extremely smart and self aware…plus he is very practical and humble IMHO so that makes him more attractive to me. I don’t agree with eVERYTHING he says…but most of it resonates very deeply with me. So far I’m only 11 days into 2020 but I’m already challenging myself to say YES to more than I would have before. I am looking forward to the year ahead! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I’ve not been exposed to this individual before, but what he says makes a lot of sense to me.
I know that little Gremlin, fear. He is the one that tells me I’m not good enough, or the unknown is to be avoided.
I also know how the most recent event to rock my world – retirement- has caused me to listen more carefully to my “soul.” Defining third age is exactly that – listening to the needs of the soul and going out to discover what that means for the rest of my life.
Thanks for the heads-up. I’ve put James Hollis, PhD on my radar.
Hi Nancy! Thank you for letting me know that some of these ideas resonated with you too. And if you are also like me, you are realizing that perhaps it is time, at our age, to start letting go of those messages of “not good enough” and stepping into the path that our soul is ready to take. But hey, as long as we see it as an adventure (and I think you are one too!) we are sure to grow AND have fun as we go. ~Kathy
This message seems particularly relevant to those of us retiring, now that we’re released from the demands and practicalities of feeding ourselves and feeding our families. But we still have to get over the fear and the lethargy in order to go on to fulfill that inner need we all feel. Anyway, speaking of feeding, this is great food for thought!
Hi Tom! I agree that Hollis has a lot to say to those in or preparing to enter retirement. He says that one of his ongoing issues is dealing with that courage and lethargy issue AND the awareness of his own eventual mortality. I think anyone at our age or older would be wise to consider that they won’t be living forever so what do they want the rest of their time on earth to look like. A question that helps get me up and out every day! ~Kathy
Kathy, ‘courage or desperation’ perfectly sums up the impetus for self discovery for people who choose to do the work. It is not easy and it never ends. “Grow Up and Show Up” is a good reminder that we and only we are responsible for our happiness. That being said, I know a lot of ‘happy’ lemmings. Regarding the use of the word soul, I like to think of it as interchangeable with self and is simply an effective description of our core being. Thank you for sharing Dr. Hollis and your insights. This was a thoughtful and thought provoking read.
Hi Suzanne! Isn’t it true that courage or desperation are good motivators! Given the choice I think we’d all pick courage…but maybe not. As you say . (and Hollis is very clear about it too) it isn’t easy or a smooth path. The soul could care less about those! And I think it appears that those happy lemmings are just that…but Hollis says that eventually things will catch up when they will be forced to question. I’m not sure I agree with him on that…I’ve seen a LOT of people in tremendous denial. I don’t really think of them as “Happy” though…. just fairly clueless. And between you and me, I’d never ever want to change places with him. One thing that Hollis says fairly often is that we should strive to make our lives interesting. I’m doing the best and I think you are too. ~Kathy
Wow Kathy this is fantastic! It is exactly what I spent last year going through and I’ve been pondering what 2020 holds for me – whether I play safe, or branch out into my 2nd half of life. I published my #WOTY post on Thursday and it was a lot to do with the fact that life’s short and we need to pull it all together and live our best life right now.
I’m saving your post and may even quote you down the track as I expand on my theme during the year – I’ll let you know if (and when) I do!
Hi Leanne! I waited until I was able to read your blog post before replying to you…and yes, I can see how the idea of YES! applies to your WOTY too. As you said, “life’s short and we need to pull it all together and live our best life right now.” May that idea be encouragement for us both all year long. ~Kathy
Wow, Kathy, that’s a lot to digest! Thanks for the introduction to James Hollis. I am definitely going to check out his podcasts and YouTube lectures. I studied psychology a bit in college (thought I might follow in my father’s footsteps) but I’ve forgotten much of what I learned. I think I might read up on Jung again too.
Hi Janis! Yes this line of thinking will definitely take you as deep as you are wanting/willing to go. I get that it isn’t for everyone…but it sure captures me. It also helps me understand the behaviors of not only myself, but those, especially some of those in my country, who see things so very differently from me. If you do follow up on it, I’d love to hear your thoughts. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy!
I had to respond because I feel the same way. His stuff is really amazing, isn’t it?
He and Marion Woodman, along with Sharon Blackie (“If Women Rose Rooted”), Joseph Campbell, Susan Tiberghien, and Jung himself (of course) have all given my novel a lot of its background fuel. Have you found his Sounds True interview — that’s how I discovered him.
Hi Tracey! Nice to hear from you. And how cool that you’re able to weave some of his insights into your novel…how is that coming! Can’t wait to read it. And yes…I linked that interview (Sounds True with Tami Simon is the same as Insights at the Edge) at the bottom on this blog post. I highly recommend it to everyone who has the time and inclination. Thanks again for your comment and be sure and keep me informed about your book! ~Kathy
Will do! I should be “around” a little more after April — I’m teaching college communications while I work on my novel, which is part of my graduate dissertation due in June. (I’m loving the writing!)
With a few other personal challenges, I’m a little crazy at the moment. It wasn’t in the plan for things to be quite this nuts, but there it is. We’ll get through it. 🙂
Please say a big “hello” to Thom for us and take good care!
Looking forward to connecting after April! And “Hi!” to Kip from both of us 🙂
Great post, Kathy! I’ve loved Jungian thinking since I encountered it — not as psychoanalytic system (and especially not as a “doctrine” about how the mind works), but as way of using the part of our mind that is image-driven for insight. I remember in my senior year of college encountering a very personal and beautiful reading of Dante’s Comedy in Jungian terms that blew me away. Thanks for reminding me of that way of musing / reflecting…
Hi Nancy! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I am no expert by any means but from what I’ve picked up along the way, and now with the insights of Hollis, I can’t help but believe it is a wonderful way to dig deep into our patterns and awaken our consciousness. And interesting about interpreting Dante’s work. I wonder if there is anything about that on the net???? ~Kathy