As Thom and I hiked through the forest this morning he happened to mention the obvious. That was how neither of us could have predicted how the summer of 2020 would unfold. And I’m guessing that none of you could either. Even if we have managed to stay healthy, and that the vast majority of our family and friends are managing it as well, it seems like every new day brings some unsettling news. Surely none of us would have “chosen” the current situation.
However at the same time, I’m also reminded of the Wayne Dyer quote, “I don’t know enough to be a pessimist.” In other words, I’ve have repeatedly believed that in spite of any appearance to the contrary, that good can and will eventually come from any situation. Supporting that idea is one of my favorite stories I like to call, “Maybe Yes, Maybe No.”
One day a farmer happened to come upon a herd of wild horses. One of the horses was an absolutely magnificent stallion. Using his experience with catching animals, the farmer managed to corner and capture the amazing horse. Securing the animal, he then succeeded in leading him towards his farm. Along the way he passed by his local village. When the townspeople saw the farmer and his newly caught stallion they all congratulated him. As he passed they said, almost in unison, “How lucky you are to capture such a prize!”
Keeping his eye on his excitable acquisition, the only response from the farmer was, “Maybe yes, maybe no.
A few days later the horse escaped the barn where the father kept him at night. Almost the second the townspeople heard of this escape they rushed to his farm to offer their condolences. Every one of them said, “How sad this is, it seems you’ve become very unlucky.”
Undeterred, the farmer simply replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
A week later the farmer passed by a canyon near his farm and happened to see that the wild stallion had somehow become trapped after a tree had fallen over the canyon entrance. With the help of his son, they removed the tree and recaptured the horse. On their way back to their farm they again passed town. There the townspeople ran out to greet him and his son with shouts of greeting and wonder crying, “Wow! You are the luckiest man we know!”
Smiling softly almost to himself, the farmer only whispered, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
Once home the farmer made sure the stallion was safely secured before turning the horse over to his son to tame. On the very next morning the son prematurely climbed on the back of the horse. Instantly the animal became enraged, twisted and turned, and threw the son to the ground. Unable to rise he discovered his leg was broken. Quietly his father put a splint his leg, but it was clear that the son would require crutches for several months.”
It didn’t take but a couple of hours for the townspeople to hear about this new turn of events. The next time the farmer went to town for supplies, nearly every one of the townspeople came up to him saying, “How very awful. You have indeed been unlucky.”
Humbly, all the farmer would say was, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
A couple of weeks later a group of soldiers rode into town. They boldly announced that they were there to conscript all the young men of the village to go and fight the king’s war. While all healthy young men were forced to comply, the farmer’s son was ineligible due to his broken leg. For days after the townspeople were quick to tell the farmer that he was an extremely lucky man.
As before, the farmer quietly replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”
I’m not saying it is easy, or that there aren’t challenges along the way. It also doesn’t help to deny the situation by pretending it isn’t happening or that it isn’t serious. But if we willing to face our challenges, do what we can to address them, and then admit to ourselves, “I don’t know enough to be a pessimist,” then chances are good that something beneficial will occur as a result. Remember, it is SMART to know we always have a choice about how we view, and what we do next, in any situation.
Hi Kathy, great post.
Lynne gets old, has wrinkles and can no longer run and leap like a gazelle.
Villagers to Lynne: Too bad you’re so old.
Lynne: Maybe yes, maybe no.
Because she is old, Lynne retires and starts getting her pension.
Villagers: you’re so lucky you don’t have to go to work!
L: MY, MN
One day her mother gets very frail and needs a place to live. Lynne is the only retired sibling, so Mom moves in.
V: That is such a challenge. How difficult, etc.
L: MY, MN
Over the months of living with her mother, Lynne learns why she is the way she is. She takes steps to make the necessary changes in herself to live her best life…
Love,
Lynne
Hi Lynne! Thank you so much for this great (true) story that shares the perfect example of how this works. We never really know do we? I’m not surprised though cuz as a writer your novels always tell such great stories! And nice to hear you are learning to live your best life. 🙂 ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, Reading through the comments, I especially like the quote you bring up on how “…the entire universe conspires to assist you.” I have found this to be true.
Unfortunately, I do greatly feel the unsettling news. This Wayne Dyer quote is new to me. I will have to let it sink in. All of my life I have loved quotes and parables. I recall my Dad keeping quotes all over the walls of our house. Possibly, something in the genes.
A great deal of wisdom in this post, as always, Kathy. Thank you for sharing.?
Hi Erica! Glad this post got you thinking! You KNOW that is always one of my intentions 🙂 and finding quotes that remind you of deep truths you hold is something I too love doing. Would love to know what your Dad’s favorites were? Were they yours? That would make for an interesting post! ~Kathy
Oooh, you gave me goosebumps, Kathy. I don’t have a physical copy of his quotes. I do have many mental copies. Something to think about. Hope you and Thom are well and I look forward to connecting soon. ?
I would definitely try to write down the ones you remember (while you remember!) There are so many things I wish I’d paid more attention to while Dad (and Mom) were alive. Sometime in the future you may really want them. And yes, I will see you tomorrow on Zoom for sure–in person? Who knows? `Kathy
What an incredible outlook (and quote). I love reading these stories and parables you discover and post here, Kathy. So much wisdom they hold! I’m one who easily feels bummed when things don’t work out (which happens a lot these months), but I also recover quickly. Usually, I don’t see a positive outcome after these disappointments, yet in the end, sometimes months or years later, it might have been for the best. If I can even remember where something took a different turn, haha.
Hi Liesbet! I completely agree that sometimes it is REALLY hard to see anything positive when something terrible happens (or even when something just bad happens!) I think it helps me to be a “forward thinker” so I tend to just move on and let go fairly easily (sounds like you might too?) But for those who don’t this saying is particularly helpful. And again, it is always good to remember that things are more complex than we usually know so holding out the idea that there are things at work that will adjust in a positive way is also helpful. What’s the Goethe quote? “At the moment of commitment the entire universe conspires to assist you.” I guess it depends on what we are committed to????? ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – I don’t remember ever hearing the expression “I don’t know enough to be a pessimist” (and somehow I missed it on Thom’s shirt). I’ll definitely be borrowing this!
Hi Donna! Yes that Wayne Dyer quote has been one of Thom’s favorites for years now (obviously if he put it on a t-shirt!) I still resist it now and then but it sure applies when I think about it! (especially in retrospect!) And yes, borrow away! ~Kathy
Great story and I’ll now remember what that quote means. I’ve started to hear a few friends talk about the positives of this time – a lot of “more time with their kids doing family things” seems to be a prevalent theme. Personally I am trying to focus on what I can do, versus what I can’t do. And that is a skill I am sure will continue to come in handy in the coming years! So there’s my maybe yes!
Hi Pat! I’ll bet that many of us can come up with this “positives” if we don’t let the negatives drag us completely down. And like you I would prefer to think of them rather than the negatives anyway. I also agree it is a skill to cultivate. ~Kathy
That’s such a great quote (didn’t Thom have a t-shirt with that quote in one of your videos?) and story! We never knows, do we? Best to face any situation with a clear eye and find the good.
Hi Janis! YES! Good for you for remembering. Thom made that t-shirt up because he loves that quote. And yes to remembering to always seek the good. ~Kathy
I agree with the words of Janis: “Best to face any situation with a clear eye and find the good”. Finding good is exactly what drives us further.
From a grateful farmer, maybe yes and maybe no, but mostly YES.
Hi Gary! Don’t you think this mindset would be a good one for all farmers? They often have to deal with more uncertainty than the rest of us huh? ~Kathy
Love this and the quote!
Thanks for sharing this needed perspective, Kathy
Deb
Hi Deb! Thank you! Just trying to remember it myself! ~Kathy
Kathy,
Thanks for another wonderful post. Great story!
I love the Wayne Dyer quote.
Best,
Joe Cast
Hi Joe! Yes it happens to be one of Thom’s favorites too–he even made up a t-shirt with it on there! Good reminder huh? ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Thank you for sharing this story. I too have one to share….my sister who has early onset dementia has been struggling with some health issues. Her doctors suspected it was primarily due to to diet. Try as we could to help her choose better food options, her executive functioning and memory issues impaired her decision making. For example, she would forget she ate and would eat again.
The shelter at home period she did not have access to the extra food and meals were delivered to her room at the facility she resides.
Well this week her blood work came back with wonderful results. All her tests showed dramatic improvements. Many of them back in the normal range.
I found a “silver lining” in this new normal of Covid-19 protocol.
I wrote about it in my blog that I started to help others caring for loved ones with dementia in an effort to share some good news too.
Jamie
Hi Jamie! Thank you so much for offering your example. I’m guessing that most of us could come up with one or more stories where something we thought was really bad turned out to be better, and sometimes MUCH better than what we could ever have imagined. Just thinking about that reminded me that before I met Thom I was “supposed to be” marrying another guy. When he dumped me on Christmas Eve I thought my life was ruined. A kind relative tried to comfort me by telling me a story similar to the horse story…and while I still felt bad for a while, there was a little glimmer of light in me. And yes, as it turned out, it did turn out to be far better than I ever expected. And good for you for using your story to help others through your blog. ~Kathy