As some of you know, I wrote a blog post last summer after hearing a author named Dr. Eben Alexander speak at a conference. His book, Proof of Heaven raised a number of questions in my mind that I wanted to explore. That post attracted more readers than any other I have written in the last three years so I know lots of people are interested in the topic. Then last weekend Thom and I went to the new movie, Heaven Is For Real to discover if it offered any further proof of the concept. But instead of answers, it raised even more questions about the idea of heaven that I think each of us could benefit from answering for ourselves. And the biggest question of all is, “How would your life be different if you really believed Heaven were real?”
I didn’t read the book. I saw it in the bookstore when it first came out a couple of years ago, and after reading the cover was convinced it was a bit too religiously focused to suit my tastes. But when we saw the trailer for the movie Thom and decided to give it a chance. Was it emotional and a bit sappy? Yes. But it was also touching and well done enough to make it more than a mere commercial for the Christian faith. And like I mentioned above, it asks some deeply important questions in a sweet and hopeful way.
What’s the Story?
As you might expect, the story is predictable and Disneyesque. An adorable little boy name Colton gets sick, almost dies, and when he awakens believes he went to heaven. The father is the minister for a local church and it appears that the only negative quality of the father, mother and sister is that they are all too sincere and compassionate for their own good. When Colton begins telling his father that he went to heaven while under anesthesia, his dad is skeptical. But when Colton tells him that he saw his mom in one room on the phone, and his dad elsewhere yelling at God at the same time, Dad becomes convinced.
Not everyone else buys the story even after Colton provides a few more colorful revelations. Mom has a difficult time believing her son and so do the church board and its members. I had erroneously imagined that everyone in his father’s church would be curious, but open to the idea. Instead they dismiss Colton’s vision as a hallucination and criticize the Pastor for accepting the story he has come to believe. A church board member named Nancy says she is against their church becoming a place for “people who want to take their brains out of their heads and beat them with the Bible.” She finishes with, “Heaven and hell are concepts that have been used to control people.” Can anyone say, “Amen!” to that?
Is It Really Real?
So do I believe that Colton’s story is real? I guess it depends on how you define real. I believe that the boy believed that he had this experience. And I also had no problem at all with the Dad and eventually the family supporting Colton in his story. How each one of them decides to believe the story and why they believe it, plays out as a quality of their lives. Likewise, whether we believe and how we feel about it ultimately affects only us. That’s why a question like, “What would change if heaven were real?” deserves an answer—if only for ourselves.
Whether or not we believe in a heaven points out what we ultimately think about life. Where were we before we were born? Where do we go when we die or leave our bodies? Do we feel we are just blood, flesh and bone with a consciousness inherent to our biology? Or do we believe ourselves to be consciousness or a soul that continues on long after we leave our physical bodies? Is it possible we simply morph into the cosmos of the Universe, slipping unseen and silent into the night? Does it make us a better person if we believe or don’t believe? While we seldom take the time to fully contemplate these questions and their answers, what we think or don’t think about the answers influence how we feel when we get up in the morning, how restful we sleep, and every other of our actions, our decisions, our choices and eventually our entire lives.
How Did Others See The Movie?
Predictably the atheists had a field day with the story. Susan Jacoby, who writes under the title of “The Spirited Atheist” says, “What is truly disturbing about this book’s huge commercial success is that it attests to the prevalence of unreason among vast numbers of Americans.” She then goes on to say, “At age four, the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality is charming. Among American adults, widespread identification with the mind of a preschooler is scary.”
With equal interest I read about the blowback from some within the Christian religion in relation to both the book and the movie. Many in this camp consider the story of Colton and his family to be a detriment because it is contrary to a literal interpretation of the Bible. Pastor John Author writes, “Stories like Colton’s are as dangerous as they are seductive. Readers not only get a twisted, unbiblical picture of heaven; they also imbibe a subjective, superstitious, shallow brand of spirituality. Studying mystical accounts of supposed journeys into the afterlife yields nothing but confusion, contradiction, false hope, bad doctrine, and a host of similar evils.”
Still regardless of what the extremes on both sides say, the overwhelming success of the book since being printed in 2010 proves that many do resonate with the story. With 78% of Americans saying they believe in an afterlife, and regardless of whether it is an “inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality” as Jacoby says, or “confusion, contradiction, (and) false hope…” like Author says, some need is being met.
What’s The Appeal?
From my perspective the book offers a timeless story that most people can relate to in life. Regardless of your religion or what you believe spiritually, we all know death is an inevitable part of the journey. Besides that, the book illustrates that we are all faced with challenges, but that our love for one another can get us through just about anything. Overall, Heaven Is For Real offers a sweet but simplistic approach to something we know we can’t escape—and for many a comfort that they are on the right track. Is there anything wrong with that? Only if that track insists that it is the one and only way to get there.
What Are A Few Other Questions That Apply?
Instead of the story proving or disproving whether heaven is real I think its most powerful benefit is the questions it asks us about our current lives.
1) Do we say we believe in heaven yet fear death for others and our self?
2) Do we believe that heaven is a destination we go to, or just one of many ways of describing the mystery of what happens after we pass from our human form?
3) Does our version of heaven sound a bit like an exclusive, gated-country club where only the elites get to enter? What makes us so special?
4) Do we believe we will get special treatment in heaven if we do everything right? Then what happens if something drastic happens to us or one of our loved ones?
5) Can people from other religions around the world get into our heaven? Can we get into theirs? How many heavens are there?
6) Do we believe in hell? Is it a geographical place like heaven? Can we avoid it? Whose rules do we have to follow to escape it?
7) Does our version of God make him the ultimate judge, jury and executioner? Do we say we believe in a God of love and then envision him in ways that aren’t so loving?
8) Does our version of heaven give us hope and help us live a happier, more peaceful and meaningful life? If yes, what does it really matter if anyone else believes something different?
9) If we are convinced there is no heaven of any kind, then why do we care whether others believe it or not? Does their belief affect our belief? And why does that matter?
Do I personally think heaven is real? Not really—especially the way Colton sees it. But as I’ve written before I do believe that consciousness is eternal, that life goes on, that the material and spiritual world are constantly changing, evolving and becoming. I don’t know what comes next, but I’m hopeful about it. Of course it doesn’t really matter what I think anyway. The SMART question is: What do you believe—and how does that help you live?
In case you missed it, here is the original article: Is There REALLY Proof of Heaven or Life After Death?
Kathy, I think what matters most is not what we want to believe in but what is really out there. What if heaven and hell and all that they represent are real? Would our personal belief preference matter? I think the smartest question is how do we find out what is really out there. And then do what we need to do. That is the only way we can have real peace of mind. The alternative is just escapism.
Hi Edwin! Thanks for your perspective on this but I think we have different definitions of “reality.” Why is what is out there more “real” than what is inside us and what we believe? Everything from science to philosophy points out that “what we believe and focus on” becomes “real” to us regardless of what is really happening. There are millions of examples of that on the TV news every night. But as I state frequently here on the blog, I can’t (and no one can) really convince someone differently if they aren’t open to the evidence. Escapism? Maybe. But to believe that what is outside me is more real than what I perceive to be real just might be the greatest escapism of all IMHO. ~Kathy
My philosophy is a mish mash of ideas picked up from here and there over the past 17 years ~ the Dalai Lama, Jon Kabat Zen, Thich Nhat Han, Eckart Tolle, Chopra, Dyer.
Among other things, I believe:
* in a Higher Power to embrace, not a personified deity to worship.
* this Higher Power dwells within ~ the breath within the breath.
* Ego and Spirit have different personalities and perspectives.
* Ego is shed with our body, while Spirit lives on in some form.
* Ego is the cause of all suffering, while Spirit is pure light & love.
Hi NR…I’m thinking we could talk all night about this. 🙂 Especially with a glass (bottle) of wine! If you ever make it to Southern California be sure and let me know. This is definitely one of my favorite topics. ~Kathy
No. I’ve never heard of Ernest Holmes. I did a quick google and don’t believe I’ve read the Science of the Mind or even had other authors talking about it.
My beliefs are formed more from personal experience with glimpses beyond the veil than from study of life after death.
I did read “Embraced by the Light” which is similar to Colton’s description of heaven . . . but it also talked about demons trying to drag her to Hades. That’s when I started feeling that this Uber Consciousness must be tailored to our beliefs rather than a reality in itself.
We (Thom and I) started studying Ernest back in the 80s and found his perspective very helpful. The Science of Mind was his major philosophy and much of his work is taught and promoted in progressive churches called Centers for Spiritual Living–very similar to Unity and a few others that promote the idea of consciousness being primary and the Unity of all life. I’ve read a number of your posts and the philosophy is very similar so I wondered if you came from that background too. Back when we started it was just growing and fairly unusual….now with Oprah, Deepak, Wayne Dyer and Eckart Tolle these ideas have grown tremendously….it doesn’t really matter where a person finds it…I just believe it to be so empowering for people who are open to it.
I echo your thoughts on Heaven, Kathy.
We saw Heaven Is For Real this week. Assuming that Colton’s experience has been accurately conveyed, I view that experience as his individual consciousness merging with the vaster state of consciousness that is normally closed to us ~ he got a peek behind the veil.
Because of his religious upbringing, that experience was tailored to him ~ Jesus, Heaven etc.
While in that altered/merged state, his spirit absorbed information from the collective consciousness that allowed him to know the unknowable ~ about his unborn sister and his great-grandfather and about what his parents were doing during the operation.
While it didn’t convince me that Heaven is a place, I am convinced that life is more than what we see around us while locked into our individual state of consciousness. The more awake and aware we are, the more often we see glints and glimmers from beyond the veil.
Hi NR! You explained Colton’s experience very well for those of us who study consciousness regularly. And yes, everything I’ve ever read and/or understood about consciousness is that the observer effects the observed so it is VERY normal that Colton’s experience would fit into his understanding and belief system. And I’ve also always been comfortable about the idea of the Akashic Records where everything is stored so that could easily explain how he was able to know about his sister and others.
But as you say, my background and study has lead me to see Heaven less as a place and more a state of mind or consciousness. Speaking of which, have you studied Ernest Holmes and the Science of Mind? That wouldn’t surprise me a bit! ~Kathy
We hold ourselves back in strange ways. On one hand, death is the biggest unknown we face. We fear death of ourselves and of those we love. On the other hand, unless faced with serious illness, we rarely are even aware that we’re alive – let alone that we’re going to die one day. We go on, half asleep, getting tied up in petty drama, procrastinating and living out our routines. Does that sound like someone who’s truly aware that the clock is ticking?
Knowing that heaven is real releases some of the conflict towards death and leads to a happier and more fulfilled life.
Hi Adam! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts on this. I do agree that many people are sound asleep and living a life of routine. And you are so right that when we face serious illness we are usually jolted awake. I tend to believe that most of us change as a result of one of two experiences–pain or inspiration. I’ve done both in my life although I VASTLY prefer inspiration. 🙂 And yes, I agree that if we have peace around the idea of what happens after we die, then our lives should be happier and more fulfilled. But again I think that depends upon whether we are awake about heaven, or just half asleep. I think if we look around there is plenty of evidence of both.
Thanks for your comment. Stay awake! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, me and my wife watched this movie earlier this week. As you write, this movie raises an important question, if you really believe heaven is real, how does that affect your live and how you interact with other people. As a christian, this defiantly challenged me.
Hi Anders! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing your thoughts. I personally feel that the best movies and writing make us think about our beliefs–Christian or not–and as you say, this movie does that for sure. I would have appreciated knowing just HOW it challenged you and had you share that with all of us following this post, but understand why that might be too personal. Either way, I hope that it helps you arrive at a place where you find peace in your understanding. Thanks for taking the time to comment. ~Kathy
Yes and very great to living with heaven inside us and be a part of glory in God and God love our faith and our life with Christ and he will give our heart desire to be his thanksgiving in a journey to target of glory daily and we will sing and I play my piano with love to Christ and to God,and to my sister and brother in Jesus name ,thanks and bless and pray,keijo sweden
Better late than never, getting here to read this wonderful post. Re: Heaven is Real – the movie/book, haven’t seen or read either. But I do have an audiocopy of Dr. Alexander’s book Proof of Heaven, and I found it extremely reassuring – whether he truly experienced what happened “on the other side,” or just an extremely powerful event during the Near Death Experience, the idea that a person who is thrashing around and in such bodily distress might be experiencing such great joy and peace is a comfort to those of us who’ve lost someone in those circumstances.
I believe that we do go on, in some form or another, though I don’t believe in a white-bearded, grumpy old man with a rulebook, called God. Several people in my family, including me, have experienced ghosts or dream visitations. And following my brother-in-law’s death, we’ve had some interesting hummingbird experiences (those were “his” birds), including one that came during his celebration of life and hovered over my head (I was MCing) for several minutes.
Hi Beverly! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and that it helped remind you of what you probably already knew. I know you’ve been through some really tough stuff lately and I’m sure that your current understanding supported you and your family during those events. And yes, I agree that your hummingbird experiences are definitely a strong sign that your brother-in-law isn’t far away. what a great thing for all of you! Thanks for coming by and letting me know this post rang true for you. ~Kathy
Excellent post, Kathy! Your articles are always so thought out and precise.
I am definitely a ‘Heaven is Real’ person. And I have a profound belief in God. I see Him, not as a vengeful being, but as an infinitely loving one. This brings me great peace.
Hi Diane! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I always love to hear from people who are so clear and happy with their understanding of God or the mystery. Like I shared in the post, radicals on either side of the equation often sound so angry and frustrated. And yet our beliefs are so deeply tied into the quality of our lives and experiences that I believe it is critical that we at least look at why and what we believe if we aren’t living the lives we say we deserve. Finding the peace you have is what we all crave. Thanks for sharing that! ~Kathy
I set out on a journey decades ago to find actual proof of afterlife. I never found ‘proof’ but I did find so much evidence that consciousness survives after death that it helped me form my spiritual beliefs. I do believe that life goes on and it’s surprising how many people are riveted when I talk about my experiences. My bottom line is that for those who don’t believe, no evidence is sufficient; for those who do, none is needed. It really is an individual thing.
Hi Carol…yes it is so true that we can’t convince anyone when they already have their mind made up about heaven or their spiritual beliefs. Yet hopefully we all take the time to research the information that’s out there like you did, and stay open to all the new research that is constantly being uncovered before arriving at a once and only final conclusion. To me it is one of those BIG questions that it so fascinating that I can’t NOT keep exploring. 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
This is my First visit on your blog and got impressed!!! 🙂
Honestly this little book holds a lots of questions regarding our life after death and surely sometimes we think about our life after death Whatever it is in heaven or hell and sometime it makes us eager and crazy about our life after death. and of course if we do believe in our religions and our holy books and specially if we believe in the existence of gods then i am sure there is a real heaven and also real hell.
Thanks for sharing.
keep posting.
Hi Addison! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I’m glad the post got you thinking about things and it is my sincere hope that those thoughts and beliefs lead you to a happy and peaceful life. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Amazing how a little book like that can contain so many questions, and each one of them that makes us think deep! You got me really thinking hard on this one…lol… 🙂
I cannot talk about whether there is a heaven or hell as I haven’t been to either and no one can really define such things I think, but I know that life carries on, and we as humans keep changing, evolving and getting better, emotionally and spiritually too. I guess that’s all that matters that we make our present the best we can, without dwelling into heaven or hell.
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
Hi Harleena! Yes, I think this book is definitely filled with lots of questions about the BIG issues of life. 🙂 Then again Thom accuses me of over-thinking just about everything! Either way, I do know for myself that my life flows in all ways in ways that are more peaceful and content when I take the time to make sure that what I say I believe and what are do are in alignment. I trust that your thoughts on this have done the same for you.
Thanks as always for comment. You too have an amazing week! ~Kathy
Wow, Kathy what a subject and you handled it so well. My religious and spiritual beliefs have changed through the years. I was raised Catholic and questioned certain things. For one if God was our creator and a father of the human race why would he be vengeful? I couldn’t get my hands around the concept of a God who was jealous or would hold a grudge against his “children” if they didn’t follow all his rules to the letter.
I tend to agree with you that when we die our consciousness remains in some way, what that is I’m not sure.
I live my life as if life is a classroom. I believe there is some reason I am here and I want to enjoy and learn as much as I can while I have the chance. I was taught by Native Americans that we are free to live any way we want as long as we don’t intentionally hurt another living being and whether I am right or wrong about a God and Heaven I know at the end of my life I will be happy with the decisions I’ve made.
As for Hell, I pretty much dismissed that concept when I dismissed the angry God who could send his “children” to live out eternity in a horrible place rather than forgive mistakes.
Hi Lois! And “Happy Mother’s Day” to you! I’ll have to pop over to your site to see what you have planned for the day.
And thank you as always for your thoughtful comments. I think you’ve mentioned bits and pieces of it before but we are definitely similar in some of our beliefs. I think if we take the time to sit down and really consider what some of our beliefs are and where they lead us then we can find a place that works for us regardless of what other believe or don’t believe. Ha! In some ways it’s another version of “right-sizing” because we are working out an explanation of the mystery to help us live a live that, like you say, where we will be “happy with the decisions we’ve made” at the end of our life.
Of course I’m not for full out anarchy. 🙂 I do believe that there is much wisdom and teaching from those who have shown themselves to be shining examples of connection and spirituality. But I do think that discernment in all things is critical. And when someone says something, or teaches something that contradicts my own personal experience and/or deep knowing, then I follow that lead. I’m guessing you and I pretty similar in that belief. And yes, it allows me the peace to know that in the end I too will be happy with the decisions I’ve made.
Have a wonderful day Lois! ~Kathy
—Kathy, you always have kick ass, worthwhile content over here. This is appreciated.
—Anyhow, it’s interesting to read all of these perspectives on Heaven.
—I’ve contemplated death, dying, heaven, Jesus, & God, even as a very young child, and “for me” I’ve continually believed inside my entire being that GOD exists, Heaven is real, & that this is not my true home.
—I believe I’ll be with my sister again one day. There is no doubt. This is what gets me up in the morning.
I believe without GOD, this life doesn’t make much sense. I mean, to die and go back to the elements. I don’t get it. I never have.
–On the other hand, I respect all of the other comments & beliefs here, as well.
—But for me, Heaven is as real as the pine tree swaying outside my window. xx
xx love from Minnesota.
Hey Kim! You have a lot more personal perspective on this issue than many of us so I am so glad to hear you have a belief that helps you experience a good life. But I’m not sure the majority of people do. In case you haven’t guessed by now one of my goals is to get people to think about what they think about much of the time. And as I also read elsewhere, I also want to “comfort the disturbed and and disturb the comfortable”. 🙂 I’m not sure this movie (or my writing about it) will help, but I do know that it is an important thing for us all to consider. ~Kathy
Yes, the post really did get me thinking. Thanks for the link to the other post. I’ll have to check it out.
This is a great topic. It’s funny, I saw the book too and put it down for the same reason. I wasn’t into the religious aspect. I’m not sure if I believe or not in heaven. I want to believe, but I go back and forth. I don’t believe in hell though, but I can’t tell you why. I also wonder where reincarnation fits in if there is a heaven. Anyway, thanks for the great post!!
Hi Wendy! Isn’t it funny how such a little book can raise so many questions? I think I read that the book has sold 8 million copies. I wonder how many of them bought it and then didn’t finish because they couldn’t go along with the idea? I wonder how many bought it to give to someone else? I can only hope it brought a sense of comfort to those who were really searching and needed it. Most of all I’m hoping that it made people think a bit about the issue. You know that’s a BIG goal of mine! 🙂
Oh, and my original post about “Is there really proof of heaven” addresses some of the issues about reincarnation. Check it out.
Kathy! I love this post! As someone who considers herself deeply spiritual but NOT religious, I find these questions fascinating. For instance, while I believe strongly that, as you put it, consciousness is eternal, I’m not entirely sure what that means. Even more than that, I always find questions of the afterlife interesting when the [admittedly somewhat tired] Christian vs. Atheist rage-fest begins. I’ve read all of Richard Dawkins’ work, and while I respect the man mightily and love his evolution writing, I think he and his ilk miss the one major point: When they try to prove that a higher power isn’t “rational,” the only comeback I find I’ve ever needed is … “according to you.” Because really, how can you prove a negative? You can’t. Ultimately these questions are up to each believer, which is why I think Colton and his dad have every right to think what they think. This is just another variation on telling people what to do behind their own closed doors, and if I don’t stand for gay-bashing I don’t see why I would stand for this.
Hi Sarah! I really believe there are a lot of us that don’t fall into any “big” category regarding spirituality and church but that we still have a deep connection that doesn’t fit in a box. It’s not an either/or question to me….lots of shades of gray and every other color of the spectrum.
And yes! I agree that there is some interesting and powerful work by certain writers out there who write about how extreme religion can be–but some of them write come the complete opposite extreme. There are fundamentals on both sides of the issue and can be equally as annoying and unreasonable.
I like your perspective about letting others do what they do behind their own doors. Bashing of any kind is an aggressive and violent action. Perhaps by being more compassionate and “turning the other cheek” we could transform the world. Thanks as always for your thoughts. ~Kathy
Since I believe the Bible is real, I also believe Heaven is Real….and I am so grateful to God that they are! It gives me joy and peace to know the big picture!
Hi Pam! I’m so glad you have a strong and steady understanding of heaven that works for you! As I said in the post I believe it is one of the most important understandings any of us can have because it does affect our lives in so many ways. It is so easy to get caught up in every day details and being busy, and forget that issues and concepts about heaven (either for or against) are some of the most important questions we can ever ask. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
I love the idea of heaven, but it’s hard for me to fathom that there’s someplace “out there” after life on earth. I haven’t seen this film, but I appreciate your thoughtful response to it.
Hi Sharon! It is a pretty sappy movie. But every now and then it is a nice change of pace from all the other super hero, shoot-’em-up, LOUD movies that tend to make it to the screen now and then.
And you bring up an interesting point yourself and that is that “heaven” is something “out there?” The movie portrays it in the pretty standard fare as you might imagine coming for a four year old’s perspective (especially one who is a minister’s son.) But why can’t heaven be like energy or “empty space” or even another type dimension? We are so conditioned to think of heaven as we were likely taught by Sunday School that it is sometimes hard to think of it in a different way. But I do believe it is one of those BIG QUESTIONS that affect us all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as always. ~Kathy
I think my position lies very closely to your own, Kathy. I know that I don’t believe in the heaven touted in religious doctrine. Having said that, I also don’t believe that when we die, that’s it, there’s nothing else. Like you, I do believe that consciousness is eternal. I’m not sure what that looks like, but I believe it to be true.
As to the question, why then do we fear death (for ourselves and others). I guess for me it’s a fear of what that eternal consciousness looks like. Fear of the unknown. Why I fear death in others (loved ones) is simple selfishness – it’s not wanting to not have them in my life. It’s about missing their presence.
Great post.
Hi Nancy. Thanks for your thoughts on this. I actually happen to believe there are a lot more of us out here that tend to believe as we do than we know. The ones on the extreme tend to make the most noise and get the most press for sure. But I think most people know on a deep level that there is more to life–and death–than just what is in front of us or what someone else teaches them. But because there is no “proof” or easy understanding of it, I think it tends to get ignored. While I would NEVER tell another person how to believe, I just believe it is so very important for us to think about it and then live a live in harmony with that belief. Thanks again for sharing your ideas. ~Kathy
I read the book and loved it. I need to see the movie. I love your posts. I do believe in life after death.
Hi Mary! If you read and liked the book you will probably like the movie. I thought the little boy was a darling, and Greg Kinnear does a good job along with the other actors. Plus the cinematography was lovely. While Thom and I enjoy action movies now and then, there is a time when a sweet and thoughtful movie is preferable over a bang-bang blow everyone up over and over type. Thanks for your thoughts… ~Kathy
Whatever our belief, in the end it is just that – ours. So whatever any group or person says is their truth is just that -theirs. No one will sway me to believe their point of view about Heaven. Whether it exists or not is up to interpretation. I choose my own opinion.
Hi Cathy! I so agree. I think it is critical that we all come up with our own understanding because that affects how we live our lives and how we treat each other on a daily basis. Unfortunately I believe that there are quite a number of people who just believe (sorta) because others teach them to one way or another without taking the time to really process it on their own. It’s way too an important a subject to leave to chance. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy