Wouldn’t it be nice to walk into a store and be handed an instruction manual for living a happy and healthy life? A man named James Doty was offered exactly that back when he was twelve years old. This last week while I was researching another topic, I stumbled upon a podcast by James Doty and immediately knew that his story had the potential to change lives. Of course, even when we have a map right in front of us, that doesn’t mean that we always take the right turns at the right time or the path is without peril. Still, Doty’s story offers us all a glimpse of things we can each do to create the life we feel called to live.
So, who is James Doty and what makes his story worth telling? Doty, MD, is a clinical professor of Neurosurgery at Stanford University and the director of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research at Stanford University School of Medicine. While his current credentials are quite impressive, he started with extremely humble beginnings. Living below the poverty level, with a father who was an alcoholic and a mother who was an invalid, he was well on his way to being a juvenile delinquent. By his own admission, he felt hopeless like a leaf being tossed around in the wind. No control. No future.
One day he found himself wandering the streets of Lancaster, CA. In a lone strip-mall,l he saw a magic shop and went inside. There he met a grandmotherly woman named Ruth who was filling in for her son who owned the shop. When Doty asked her how magic worked, Ruth explained that it worked because most people aren’t that aware to begin with. She told him that although our brains are very busy, they are also extremely lazy, and easily distracted. But rather than being distracted by hand gestures, most of the time people aren’t even watching the magic in the first place. Instead, they are regretting something they did yesterday or worrying about something that is supposed to happen tomorrow. Magic works because it is easy to trick people who aren’t paying attention.
After talking for about 20 minutes, Ruth told Doty that she would available for the next six weeks and if Doty returned every day to talk to her, she would teach him real magic. Doty admits he had no great illusions of grandeur—he simply had nothing else better to do. So, for the following six weeks he came to the store every single day and Ruth taught him the magic that changed his life.
In case you are wondering the whole and complete story about what Doty learns and where it leads him is explained in his book, Into the Magic Shop. I did not read the book although I am definitely tempted because of the powerful reviews. What I did learn was available by doing some research and I think the points made are a wonderful introduction into the so-called-magic that Ruth taught that so fully transformed his experience.
Relax the body
Sounds simple right? Yet, even those of us who know the benefits of such a practice often convince ourselves that we don’t have the time. Basically, Ruth first taught young Doty a few simple techniques that helped him focus his attention on his body, to become more mindful in the present moment, and to relax—all important for a young and reactive young man.
Tame the mind
Once the body is relaxed, the next lesson is to focus on quieting the mind and bringing it in to focus. The primary technique Ruth taught young Doty was mediation. By meditating on either the breath, a candle flame or a simple mantra, Ruth explained that Doty would be able to eventually calm his thoughts and concentrate on ideas and sensations that were helpful and uplifting.
Of course, Ruth also explained that this takes time and should be done every day for 20-30 minutes. Plus, it isn’t something you do a couple of times and have it perfected. It can easily take weeks (or much longer) before any significant changes occur. However, the more you practice it, the more you will be able to simply observe without attachment any thoughts that are negative or distracting. You should also be able to disengage from any emotional reactions that are not helpful. Eventually, this ongoing practice keeps your mind at peace while also holding your body in a state of relaxation and wellbeing.
Clarify your intent
After you have relaxed the body and fully focused the mind, the next step is to visualize those goals or experiences you wish to be or accomplish. Once your vision is clear, imagine as much detail around the goal as possible. See yourself having acquired the goal, or see it after the experience is over. What does that feel like? Where are you and who is with you? The more clarity you can provide the better. Repeating this activity once or twice every single day will help the vision become clearer and more detailed. Eventually, you will find yourself living the life you have imagined.
Doty does reveal that the pathway to what you say you want is seldom a straight line. At times it might seem that what you want is impossible to achieve, but similar to much of what Abraham-Hicks and LOA (Law of Attraction) teach, if you trust the process and stick with your vision it will eventually unfold.
So how did these life lessons work for James Doty? Spectacularly. After six weeks with Ruth, Doty believes his brain gradually rewired itself—reinforcing the idea of neural plasticity. He truthfully admitted that even though his outward circumstances didn’t change—he changed and that made all the difference. Gradually he was able to stop responding to the negative dialogue running through his head. Eventually, instead of believing he was stuck without potential, he started believing he had unlimited potential. Not only did he finish high school, he went on to college and eventually became a very successful and wealthy neurosurgeon and businessman.
Unfortunately, at the pinnacle of his so-called success, he realized that he wasn’t that happy or fulfilled. Even though his goals had manifested in every way possible, he realized that money and success was only a reaction to that poverty-stricken young boy he used to be. Only after losing nearly all his wealth, status and many of his relationships, did he finally remember the other lesson that Ruth had taught him years ago.
Open your heart
Years earlier in that magic shop, Ruth had explained that the greatest of the four lessons was the ability to open his heart. Regrettably, Doty missed most of that when he was young. A big aspect of that heart opening was to realize that we are all connected, and it is only through that connection and heartfelt awareness that we ever arrive at a place of peace and wellbeing. When we see others as ourselves and do what we can out of a compassionate heart, we will find the peace and happiness we desire. Having all the success and money in the world matters very little if our heart is closed and we are unconnected with the people we love.
So yes, all of these lessons are available for any of us to use beginning right now. Certainly, all of these ideas have been promoted and taught by writers, teachers, and sages throughout the centuries—so they aren’t magic at all. But as with most magic, many of us aren’t paying attention anyway. As Ruth said in the beginning, people are usually too busy worrying about what’s to come or regretting what we did or didn’t do in the past, so that we never take the time to believe in ourselves and be here now.
And let’s also admit that most of us are too busy running around trying to make things happen in the world around us—instead of taking the time each day to shift our consciousness and allow things to change. I realize that relaxing our body, focusing our mind, visualizing and creating with an open heart isn’t rocket science. But what each of them certainly offers are SMART ways to design a life that we say we want. It’s true that some of us start with more advantages than others, but ultimately we always have the ability to respond in ways that serve us and lead to greater possibilities.
The good news is that the story doesn’t just stop there. James Doty went on to use the same techniques to then re-create a life for himself that teaches the magic he learned to anyone who wants to listen. At the very center of his teaching now is the idea that compassion, and its companion kindness, are the most powerful magic of all. In fact, Doty admits that the greatest gift Ruth gave him was her time and attention. He is now convinced that we are wired to connect and care for one another and that the only way we will ever find the happiness and health we strive for is when we practice loving compassion with others and ourselves every single day.
Okay, your turn. Have you ever studied any of these lessons before? Do you believe it is possible to turn your life around by practicing them? Please share any thoughts you have about “magic” in the comment below.
This is such a beautiful article. A wonderful definition of magic with a twist.
True magic can happen to us if have the ability to be open to it. Once in a while we should open our hearts and soul to the nature in our busy lives. I believe too.
Thank you for this , loved it 🙂
Kathy, I have a really great yoga instructor, and she incorporates those four lessons – relax the body, tame your mind, clarify your intent, and open your heart – into every session. It is interesting that when I was still working in a stressful job, I could have really used instruction in those principles, but I believed that I did not have time (and I actually did have little time). Now that I have retired, I have time for yoga and other mindfulness activities. As you say, better late than never.
I took a look at a preview of the book, and it does look like a fascinating read. I a, curious to know what the last two lessons are!
Jude
I don’t remember if I ever told you my Law of Attraction story, Kathy. So apologies in advance if I am repeating myself, LOL!
In the summer of 2017, my yoga teacher told all of us at the 6 am yoga class to watch “The Secret,” and she led us through meditations on visualizing goals that we had for ourselves. I watched the movie, got a workbook to go with it, and spent time everyday journalling about my goals.
I was going to throw myself into my career. I was going to be well-respected by admin, colleagues, etc. I was going to be Teacher of the Year. I followed my visualizing with action. At the time, I had candy-apple red hair. I bleached it out, cut it into a chin-length bob, and dyed it ash blonde. I spent time everyday, generating activities for my classroom. I hit the ground running that year.
…And I got my first write-up on the last day of the first week of school, the day before Hurricane Harvey hit. The year continued with abuse of every kind, write-ups, and constant negativity that I could not overcome. I ended the school year on medical leave.
What I realized was that I was envisioning what I thought I should want. Instead, I got what I did want, deep down inside. I wanted freedom from that rat race. I wanted to teach, without the extra nonsense. I wanted to spend more time with my family. I am now very close to having the life I actually wanted.
But another way to look at it, that just occurred to me now, is that I was on the path to achieving my original goal, until I decided consciously to change it. Maybe I needed to get out of that environment, in order to be in a position where I am respected.
Hi Bethany! What a fascinating story. Not knowing all the details I’d say it matches James Doty’s in the fact that he said it is NEVER a straight line to what we say we want. And who knows all the other factors in your subconscious that affected the outcome. The good news is that you learned (and as you know I tend to believe that if we learn from the experience it is never a “failure”) what you needed from that experience and now you can move on to what is more important and soul-fulfilling. Plus, I’d bet along the way that your heart has opened more and more and is now in the position to guide you in better ways. Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kath
Kathy, The best description of the benefit of meditation I’ve read…. makes me think I should try it again!
Hi Pat. His story does offer a VERY IMPORTANT motivation to start or stay with meditation doesn’t he? It’s one of those things that is so easy to put aside and yet has the potential to change our world. Thom and I “played” with the practice on and off for years until we started doing it together about 8 years ago, EVERY SINGLE DAY! We only do it for 15 minutes every day but we do do it and haven’t missed a day yet. I think so much of my own mental wellbeing is attached to that short daily practice that I can’t even imagine my life without it. As for manifesting millions or becoming a neurosurgeon like James Doty–not so much! But I am happy to say it’s given me a great life. ~Kathy
Sadly it’s taken me until retirement to practise (or try to) what James was taught at 12. Busy lives never seem to lend themselves to investing in stillness although I hope I haven’t left it until now to “open my heart”.
Hi Caree! I think it is very normal for all of us to wonder where we would be if we’d only started earlier, but hey, it is far more important to recognize that we can start RIGHT NOW wherever we are and move forward, right? I truly believe that we all are doing the best we can with the consciousness that we have so when the time is right then that next step the door opens up. And like you said, I’ll bet that along the way your heart has been open and getting wiser as time goes by. Besides, according to Ruth, the most important “lesson” is the heart opening so who’s not to say you’ve done the best first and can now start on the rest. ~Kathy
Well, Kathy, as I tell my kids: Do as I say, not as I do!
That’s true for us all Tom!!!
Interesting and important outlook. It reminds of a (somewhat) similar problem we all have. When we’re talking with someone, we don’t listen to what they have to say, because we’re too busy concentrating on what we’re going to say next. We all need to stop talking and pay attention to other people and listen to the world and what it is telling us.
Hi Tom! Isn’t it the truth? I have to consciously stop myself when other people are talking and do my best to be present. It sounds so very simple but is really quite complicated…as Ruth says, our brains might be pretty amazing sometimes but without a little “training” they can be very lazy and distracted. Wouldn’t the world, and our individual lives, be so much better if we did what you said and started listening more? That would be magic. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – This is such a beautiful and inspiring story of James Doty. Like you, ‘Into the Magic Shop’ sounds like something that I would very much like to read. I like the four takeaways that you have suggested for us. I agree that while they may not be rocket science, they do manage to elude many of us. Thank you for these reminders (that’s why I end up at this exact same place every Friday (or Saturday)!
Hi Donna! Thanks. From what I can tell the book is one of those parables that offer all sorts of insight toward living a life that leads to true wealth (meaning love, good health and sufficiency in all things.) There are likely at least one or two blog posts to be had from this book if I ever get my hands on it. His current work and research into compassion are equally valuable. And it is ALWAYS nice to hear from you! ~Kathy
I love magic. I think that the world is a better place if we allow ourselves to just accept there are extraordinary things that are difficult to accept. It leads us to the simple joy of being childlike again.
But magic is also finding the extraordinary in the ordinary. Enjoying raindrops on a spider’s web, the clean, cold air on your face when you step out on an autumn morning, the couple laughing together as they pass you on the street. All of those things are magical.
The things that Ruth taught James sound an awful lot like yoga. I can completely get on board with the idea that if you practise it regularly then it can change your life. There are a lot of people I know who have do Yoga and evangelise about its transformative power.
HI Caveman! Welcome to SMART Living! And I completely agree that when we see the world through magical (or miraculous) eyes it makes the ordinary extraordinary! Interesting that you compare James’ magic ideas to yoga. I am a fan and student of yoga and because I know that the definition of yoga is “union” I would agree with you. It’s not a direct correlation but there are many similarities–especially relaxing the body and meditating in order to train the mind. There is also a great deal of heart focus in most yoga practice so if you combine all that with the space to visualize and lead from your heart–magic!!!! Thanks for that idea. And may we all experience magic today and every day! ~Kathy
Interesting twist on magic, Kathy. Relax the body, tame the mind, clarify your intent, open your heart. Simple life lessons. I’m sure I’ve done all of these at one time or another — maybe even together, but we always need reminders. Thanks for the reminder.
Hi Janet. Yes I think the book and the idea is a cute way of explaining what some would/could call everyday miracles. And doesn’t it sometimes seem when people’s lives work well and they manage happiness (or at least peace and wellbeing) that they have a sort of magic? What I got from Doty was the strong message that although some of us have more or less advantages at any given time, we all can influence our future. In the talks I listened to online, he was very insistent that while we can’t always change our circumstances, we can always change how we respond–and that in itself gives us a huge advantage. Of course, his final understanding of how our hearts and our minds need to be engaged is equally important. ~Kathy
What a wonderful definition of Magic! I was not aware of this story, thanks. So much of human nature is not being in the present. Magic can happen, my take away, when we are present and focused.
Hi Haralee! I know…I hadn’t heard of it either but it is definitely something that is right up my alley (do people still say that???) I so agree that when we stay present and focus we are so much more able to see and experience the good in our lives. Throw in some kindness and compassion and things just seem to work out well. ~Kathy
Thank you Kathy! I have added this book to my “want to read” list in GoodReads. I think reading and re-reading these stories of human lessons to be learned are most helpful. Like showering, it’s not once and done but something that needs to be practiced on a regular basis.
Deb
Hi Deb! From what I could tell it would be an easy read so I think it is well worth the time and trouble. And I LOVE your statement about how to practice these ideas, “Like showering, it’s not once and done but something that needs to be practiced on a regular basis.” Thanks! ~Kathy