This morning during my morning walk I listened to Abraham-Hicks on audio as she explained the Law Of Attraction to someone at one of her seminars. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a fan of LOA, because even though I don’t agree with everything it proposes, the majority of the message is positive and self-empowering. This morning Hicks offered a phrase I’ve never heard before—a “poop-to-value ratio.” She also explained that a friend of hers came up with the expression, but usually uses a more descriptive word than poop. Naturally, the audience laughed in acknowledgment. But even though it sounds a bit crude, what struck me as important was how clearly this phrase reminded me of the choices, decisions, and tradeoffs we each face every single day. And the best way to know if we’ve made the right choice for us is being aware of the poop-to-value ratio involved.
For example, in my opinion, I have one of the most amazing “jobs” in the world. I get to wake up every morning whenever I want. I have the freedom to travel to any location in the world, although I do prefer to have wifi. My time is my own to allocate where and what I do. Even better, most of the time I get to creatively write and express myself about things that matter deeply to me. I value what I do tremendously.
But what I’m also aware of are the downsides, or the “poop,” that goes along with the job. In other words, my work might look glamorous on the outside but it isn’t all fun and games. As any blogger or writer will tell you, when you sit down to meet your goal or deadlines and you don’t have anything relevant to say, it can seem overwhelming. And like most things, the more you try to force it, the harder it gets. It can also be a lonely business because much of the time you are sitting alone with your thoughts. And what about the money? As nearly every writer knows, if you want to make a decent living at your craft you have to work as hard, or harder, at writing and then promoting as any profession anywhere. Sure, it may sound like a dream job—but never forget, there is still some form of poop involved.
I’m also a pet owner. My dog Kloe entered our lives nearly seven years ago and she is such a part of my family that I can’t imagine Thom and my life without her. While she seldom snuggles on my lap and is as independent as I am—when she gives me attention it pulls at my heart and I feel special and loved. She also makes me laugh and adores taking walks. I know I am healthier and happier because of her, and her value in my life is very high.
But as any pet owner knows, there are responsibilities, or what I call a “poop factor.” And no, I’m not just talking about cleaning up after her. Every pet, and actually every person in our lives, has a poop factor too. With Kloe there is her daily care to consider. And even when I really don’t want to, she still needs exercise. Then there are always unexpected circumstances. A little over a week ago she was playing and acting like a little maniac and hurt her back right leg. We thought a day or two of rest would fix it, but when we tried taking a short walk later that week she was back to hobbling along on three legs. After researching it to see what the problem might be, I reluctantly made an appointment with a vet to get x-rays. There is a possibility she will need surgery—expensive surgery at that! Meanwhile, my daily walk seems empty without her guiding my way. So yes, no matter what the value, some form of poop is usually a factor.
The big question then is—what’s the poop-to-value ratio with the details in your life? With my work, there are so many more benefits to writing that it completely tips the scale to the positive. With Kloe it’s exactly the same. Because she means so much to us we will definitely do what we can to restore her to good health. And even if we couldn’t completely restore her, she is such a part of the family that we will do whatever we need to do to make her as happy as possible.
But, where the tricky part of all this comes in is with the choices and decisions we make along the way that aren’t as clear-cut. Much of the time we go through life taking twists and turns without considering the poop-to-value ratio at all. For example, think about the choice to buy a certain house or not. Most of the time we allow ourselves to romanticize what living in a certain house means and often blow the value all out of proportion without even considering the poop factor. Things like size, costs to maintain, monthly mortgage fees, utilities, commute time to where we work, the flow of design, neighborhood, amount of yard work required, all can turn out to be far more “poop” than we ever realize in value. But unless we take the time to consider the ratio in advance, we might be stuck tipping the scale in the wrong direction.
Of course, things do change and so do we. At one time Thom and I believed that having an upgraded home in an upscale neighborhood was important to us. Because we were doing well financially, it seemed to be the next logical progression to keep reaching for bigger and better. Rather than analyze the poop-to-value ratio, we jumped at the first house we saw that seemed to have every desirable quality we’d ever wanted.
Yet after living there for several years, we realized that even though the house was beautiful and our mortgage manageable, all the costs to maintain that home kept us from doing all the other things we’d really rather do. Plus, we had way more house than the two of us needed or used. So, as I’ve explained in my rightsizing book, by selling it and going entirely mortgage and loan free, the value we found for ourselves has been enormous. But don’t forget, I’m not just talking about things we buy. I’m talking about all our choices—from who we marry, to what we ate for lunch—each has a poop-to-value ratio.
Naturally, the biggest benefit of considering the poop-to-value ratio with any decision or choice is to clarify our thinking and be aware of what matters to us. Just like with rightsizing, what matters to you is likely quite different than what matters to me. That’s okay and as it should be—as long as we stay aware and know what matters to each of us alone. And then make the choices that support our highest values.
I’ve been wracking my brain all week to see if I could come up with even one thing that doesn’t have a poop-to-value ratio. Nope. Remember, every relationship in our lives, everything we own, all our activities, and yes, the food we put in our mouth—each requires a trade-off or has a poop-to-value ratio. Every single thing carries both positives and negatives aspects, along with consequences and responsibilities. Is it worth it? Is it right for us? Only we can decide for ourselves.
While would be lovely if our choices and decisions were black and white, with all good on one side and all bad on the other—life isn’t that simple. If we take the time to pay attention before blindly stumbling ahead, we would surely notice that everything comes in numerous shades of gray. Hopefully, the SMART choice is to stay as aware as possible and choose the best value we can find.
Okay, your turn. Can you think of one thing in your life that you do or have that has so much value that it dramatically outweighs the “poop?” Please share in the comments below.
P.S. Winners from last week’s book drawing will be announced next week.
I think the PTV applies very well to the concept of marriage, or any long-term partner relationship. Perhaps the relationship did not evolve in the way you romanticized it would in its early stages (because you read too many Nora Roberts novels). Knowing that, despite that, the PTV ratio is still very much to the positive in significant ways (like companionship, security, safety, etc.) might help stave off the sometimes crushing let down of what the relationship has not turned out to be. This may or may not be autobiographical 🙂
Hi Julia! You make a good point. As long as we are willing to learn and evolve we can use some of those negatives to create something better. But as with any relationship, there is a compromise of sorts to live together in harmony and happiness. The only problem that then arrives is if the compromise turns out to be far bigger than the benefits. Then it may be time for a change. And as far as autobiography goes 🙂 I always believe there are no mistakes unless we fail to learn or grow from the experience. Such is life! ~Kathy
Kathy, my two cents worth is that sometimes in life we find ourselves stuck in a lot of poop, and every other is just as bad. I am thinking of the really difficult things, like when you have a child with a terminal illness, or are in a caretaking role with a loved one with a mental illness, or when your partner dies, or you are out of work and struggling to feed your family. Sometimes you just have to stick it out and do the best you can. The PTV ratio still holds; it’s just that everything is weighted to the poop side. The interesting thing is that later, looking back, you often discover that you have learned a lot from those hard times. You have accrued value from the experiences, even though you couldn’t see it at the time. My points are that sometimes we really don’t have very many (good) choices, and that we might not always be that good at assessing which choices provide the best value over time.
Jude
Hi Jude! I agree that sometimes the choices we are faced with are very difficult–but most of them aren’t that challenging. If we consciously consider those small everyday choices by using the PTV, we very likely will find our choices are more in alignment with our values.
But with that said, for anyone who feels they have no choice, I still believe in my heart something that I learned from Viktor Frankl (and others like him.) And that is that no matter how bad the circumstances and our lack of control (or choice) we always have the choice about our attitude toward them. We don’t have to like our circumstances, but if we allow the pain and even the horror of the situation to devastate us, we give up our ultimate freedom. No, that isn’t easy. But I believe it is always possible. Thanks for reminding me of that. ~Kathy
I love the term poop to value ratio, much better than the pros and cons or ups and downs of a lifestyle and of anything in this world. Nothing is perfect after all and everything is a compromise one way or the other.
Whenever that ratio tilted the wrong way in my life, it was time to move on and do something else. Many examples, past and current, to boot. Like when we lived on our sailboat, the outside perspective was that it must be a romantic and wonderful lifestyle. Not so. There were a lot of challenges and negatives involved and when those were not worth the “value” anymore (beautiful setting, tropical temperatures, intriguing cultures and amazing friends), we sold the boat. There is more to anything than meets the eye, and blogging and writing about it, widens the perspective of readers and the public.
So, I am very aware of all this when it comes to choices in life, as in a lifestyle. When it comes to materialistic things, I don’t have this experience much, because I only buy things we really need – either the necessary food (What is the poop side? All I can think about is the expense, since we eat healthy.), or clothes we really need to dress ourselves. Or parts for our camper, so it functions (or in the past, our boat, so it wouldn’t sink). What is the value to poop ratio in these cases? If it is not an unnecessary item or something to splurge on (that is unhealthy or unneeded)? I guess the cost is the only thing I can think of, but… everything costs money, so it is impossible to tip the balance on that. Great concept, Kathy!
Hi Liesbet! Thank you for your great examples. I’ll admit that when I first read that you’d spent several years on a sailboat traveling around the world I was envious. It sounds, like you say, romantic and wonderful. But like you also say, there are tons of challenges! Balancing those for our individual personalities and mindsets is critical to know whether any choice is right for us or not.
And I agree that cost and expense is an important aspect of the PTV but there are also things like cost-to-maintain, debt or fund depletion, actual need, the real reason we think we need to buy something, societal pressure and more. Again, each of us can only pick those for ourselves really. But good for you for having such a clear view of how you spend your money! Thanks for adding your great perspective on this. ~Kathy
Just after writing my comment to you about the challenging boat life, i stumbled across this blog post from back in the day (don’t mind the layout of the post, internet was hard to get by): http://www.itsirie.com/2013/12/remote-realities.html Just one of the examples of a challenging period. 🙂
Oh Liesbet! Thank you for supplying a very “vivid” example of some of the poop that can come from the most amazing adventures. I just read the post and I can only hope that Mark found relief after getting that shot. On the other hand, when you said you went and ate “poisson cru ” afterwards, I was reminded when we were in Tahait and had it made fresh for us on the beach. Absolutely wonderful!!! Even in the midst of uncomfortable circumstance, there can be some “poop” to deal with it. That reminds me of the quote that goes, “While we can’t always change the circumstances, we can always change how we deal with them.” ~Kathy
New to your blog, but this post really resonated with me. We got a new kitten this week, so the term “poop factor” got my attention in a more literal sense, but it’s so true for all of life. I’m finding it helpful to embrace the poop (pardon the image!), then reexamine how even that negative contributes to bigger positives in my world.
Hi Tamara! Welcome to SMART Living. And your example of getting a new pet is perfect. On one side they are adorable, cute and so much fun! And I’m sure you’re also familiar with the poop side of the equation. But thank you for bringing up the point that sometimes we that initial poop factor needs to be embraced to get to where we really want to go. For example, learning anything new is seldom easy but the only way to master something is putting in the time and effort. Great point! Surely the PTV needs to include the long-term advantages (not just the short term.) Thanks again for that idea. ~Kathy
Thanks for reminding us of this concept, which should be the focus of our periodic assessments of how we’re doing . . . and what we’re doing. Also. what a colorful way to put it . . . and of course, the photo is perfect!
Hi Tom! I’m glad you appreciate the sticky way of thinking about this too! If you’re anything like me, about the only time I trip up on something it is because I’ve failed to consider the trade-off involved. Hopefully this will help remind me in the future. ~Kathy
I’ve am lucky to have learned to live my life according to this principle but never had a term for it until now. ‘Poop to Value’! #PTV Love it. My choice to follow my passion certainly has its poop filled moments, but even on my darkest day, it seems ‘poop free’ compared to the alternatives. How lucky are we to have choice. Also, I love your SMART concept. Especially the ‘T’.
Hi Lisa! Thank you….and yes, the PTV ratio is a “catchy” reminder isn’t it? Whenever we can acknowledge the benefits are outweighing the “poop” we can appreciate and be thankful for the choice and move on with it. And I appreciate you also pointing out the “T”! It certainly takes center stage this month but as I like to say, “Thanksgiving is good–but thanks-living is better!” ~Kathy
Life seems to often have a downside. Not every aspect of it, but many. We are delighted with our smaller house, for example, but miss the family room with the fire place. This home only has a gas fireplace and it’s in the wrong room so–we never use it. But are we not lucky to have it in the first place? And on Tuesday our daughter has to have her other beloved cat put to sleep. That’s poop factor for sure. But Buddy gave her years of joy. Thanks for your post.
Hi Beth! Yes, there are tradeoffs with everything. We do have to choose…and even when we don’t choose that too is a choice that tilts things in one direction or other. I do believe that once we are aware of the advantages of the choice, that we then have the ability to begin to focus and appreciate the benefits and let go of the other side. I strongly believe that what we focus on grows so if we are focused on the benefits of our decisions, that will grow. If we continue to focus on the poop–well guess what? If we try to hang on to anything that has past, then we can never move forward. Thanks for adding this perspective. ~Kathy
I tried hard to find at least one choice I’ve made that didn’t have at least a little poop to the value it brought me. The closest I came is my decision to become a vegetarian several months ago. No downside to that—everything is better, my health, my budget, my time! Don’t miss anything meat-related at all! It’s not for everyone, but I was psychologically and physically ready for it!
Hi Diane! Good for you for making a big decision to be more healthy–and then learning how many other benefits come with the package. I agree that sometimes we don’t know for sure which side of the scale will be the most beneficial and/or the least. Sometimes we just have to try it. Thanks for your example. ~Kathy
Hi. If I am understanding your post correctly (and I read it a few times) the sh**t factor (poop factor) is really the negative ratio to the positive. If that’s the gist of your message, to someone who strives to live a positive life, there is no negative. Or at least they concentrate on the positive so much and ignore whatever negativity there may be until its almost non-existent. Or better yet, they look at the negative and turn it into the positive. Sort of taking lemons and turning it into lemonade.
There is no sh**t factor in my life.
if there was, I’d a turned it into organic manure.
Hi Cindi! Good for you if you have managed to turn all your negatives to positives. I’m working on it. Most of the time I succeed, and I’m REALLY good at making lemonade! But sometimes stuff happens in my life that doesn’t feel good and I really, really wish weren’t happening. I do have a bunch of “tools” I use to turn my thinking around and/or make choices for the future–and this PTV ratio is one of them. And now, thank you for sharing the idea of making organic manure! That is an excellent way of viewing the poop! ~Kathy
Oh, now I understand. I just couldn’t grasp the concept. Thanks for explaining.
When the dark clouds befall, I try to find the lesson I should be learning from it and I categorize the episode up to experience. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and the bad times will not last forever. There’s strength in endurance.
My husband has a great quote: if you wake up in the morning, it’s a good day!
So many things I can think of that have the PTV ratio, relationships with family being at the top of my list. I get used to not being around family these days and really miss them, but when we all get together (soon the SoCal group will visit up here for Thanksgiving), I just think how exhausting it will all be. As I grow older, (none of my kids has kids yet), I tolerate young children less and less, so we get around my brother’s adopted children and they are all a handful! Love has to conquer all and sometimes closing our bedroom door with an adult beverage is a must-do!
Hi Terri! Yes family and relationships can really tilt the PTV ratio for sure. While we can’t just completely ditch those with a high “poop” value (at least in my opinion) What we can do is set our boundaries, right? I have a person in my family with very severe emotional issues and while I help and am friendly when I can be, I am also cautious about planning times together. Hopefully, there are still benefits and value to the times we get together, but I don’t leave them to chance. And it works. However, there are a lot of relationships that we really ought to let go of completely if they are not more beneficial than not. As I’ve always believed, not being in an intimate relationship is far better than being in a bad one! Thanks for bringing this up! ~Kathy
Thanks for another thought-provoking post, Kathy. Perhaps it is my rose-coloured glasses speaking, but there are many things in my life that have a low ‘poop-value ratio’…my husband and my sons top this list. Both retirement and blogging have their share of downsides, but the value that both bring to my life make the ‘poop’ well worth it! I have also eliminated a few things from my life in retirement simply because the ratio no longer worked for me.
Hi Donna! Good for you! I do think that many of us have learned that keeping our PTV ratio leaning in the right direction is the best way to live a good and happy life. Hopefully by the time you get to our age or retirement, we can put our lessons into practice and then share what we know with others. Best of all, when we pause and take a moment to realize what our PTV really is in the areas of our life that matter, it helps us appreciate that good as well. Thanks for letting me know you are happy with your PTV ratio!!! ~Kathy
Yes. My boyfriend and I each selling our homes in the cold Minnesota climate. To downsizing to one home in Beautiful, warm St. George Utah. The poop, leaving some really wonderful friends in MN. Those friendships are priceless.
Hi Brittany! Yes those downsides can be difficult. But hopefully, you will find so much value in the move that your PTV not only evens out quickly but starts tilting in the opposite direction before you know it. Who knows? Maybe you will give some of your friends the idea to move out with you??? And being able to be outdoors so much more, you’ll be able to stay healthy and exercise. Making a list of the positive aspects in one good way to start ramping up the value side. Good luck! ~Kathy
My marriage has the best poop-to-value ratio by far. But you are right, I can’t think of anything either that can’t be rated on the P-t-P scale. Thank you for introducing this concept and writing about a topic that has been on my mind a lot lately as I think about how best to spend my life in retirement.
Hi Janis! Yay you! As we all know, every relationship has a few negatives. But as long as those values dramatically outweigh the “poop” we are in good shape. And yes, thanks for pointing out how the PTV perspective can help us make choices in retirement. ~Kathy
First of all that is a great picture. Perhaps the best selfie of a family of 3 that I have seen in a long time!
No I can’t come up with something but like you I feel very grateful to have a good poop to life ratio right now. Who knows what the future may be but living today in the present all is good.
Hi Haralee! Thank you. I’m not much into selfies but I had to capture the happiness on Kloe’s face when we are driving through the forest. Hopefully she’ll be back to her forest walks very soon. And congratulations for having all your PTV ratios in good order. Let’s all do our best to keep them tilted in that direction. ~Kathy
Kathy, this column is so perfect and right on, I can’t even say how much it resonates for me. I am ALL ABOUT ROI, the poop ratio in other words. I started tuning into ROI a few years ago. Life is short. Got to make the most of it.
Hi Lynne! Glad to hear this fits your thinking. I know that thinking about poop is a bit out of character for me, but like you said, ROI or Return on Investment is a great way to consider everything we are doing. The poop factor just makes it a bit more poignant wouldn’t you say? Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy