Like most everyone I know, my husband Thom and I are focused on staying as healthy as possible these days. Nearly everything you read or hear offers suggestions about what to do to avoid the virus and stay safe. However, I don’t believe there is nearly as much focus on what we can and possibly should be doing to stay sane and psychologically healthy. That’s why when I came across the words “psychological immune system” this week, it hit me that maintaining that immunity is equally as important as our physical health. So here’s what I learned about the term as well as a few ideas that we can all use to keep our mind and spirit strong and operating optimally as we go through this experience.
The phrase “Psychological Immune System” comes from author and Harvard College Professor Daniel Gilbert. In his bestselling book, Stumbling On Happiness Gilbert laid claim to the fact that most of us aren’t very good at predicting what will make us happy—or what will make us miserable either. A big reason for that is because most of us base our future happiness or unhappiness on how we imagine we might feel at that time. Unfortunately, our imagination is usually stuck on what is available within our memory of the past, and how we are feeling in the current moment.
Why is that? According to Gilbert, most of us can’t imagine what we can’t imagine, so we “guesstimate” what we think will happen based upon our past biases, preferences and blind spots. So if we try to imagine something like being stuck at home for 60 days with no toilet paper, we have nothing solid to remember. That’s when we start making stuff up, and imagine what might happen and how we might feel. We do this ALL the time. As I’ve written about on more than one occasion, we are meaning-making creatures and regardless of the experience, our minds want to create a reasonable story (at least reasonable to us) that helps us understand any and all experiences we are going through.
Want me to say that another way? Gilbert writes, “The three-and-a-half-pound meat loaf between our ears is not a simple recording devise but a remarkably smart computer that gathers information, makes shrewd judgements and even shrewder guesses, and offers us its best interpretation of the way things are…(what) we do not realize (is) that we are seeing an interpretation.” And as I said, most of the time when we try to predict what is going to happen and how we will feel in the future, we forget that our brains are constantly “making up its interpretations” of what and how and why things will be what they will be. Sometimes things unfold the way we imagined beforehand…but sometimes it isn’t even close.
So where does our psychological immune system come into it? Like our physical immune system, Gilbert claims that our psychological immune system is a defensive system that allows our mind to defend against unhappiness, rejection, loss, misfortune and failure. He says, “When experiences make us feel sufficiently unhappy, the psychological immune system cooks facts and shifts blame in order to offer us a more positive view.” In other words, when the going gets tough our pre-frontal cortex kicks in with an explanation that makes us feel better about what’s happening.
However, this “system” doesn’t kick in every single time we feel unhappy. Gilbert believes it usually occurs when we are basically unaware of it happening and only when it fits within our usual preconceived perceptions. If we try to manipulate it or do it consciously, it can backfire. It also primarily kicks in during intense suffering—the difference between a bad and a very bad experience. Plus, the more stuck we feel without options, the more likely our brains will shift into rationalizing a story that explains the situation with a positive spin. Sort of like when a person says, “Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Okay, that’s the good news. It’s great to know that we all have the inherent ability to create a positive explanation for any extremely negative experience in our lives—including COVID-19. However, as with our physical immune systems, a healthy psychological immune system must “strike a balance that allows us to feel good enough to cope with our situation but bad enough to do something about it.” For example, even if we feel positive about our health and the COVID-19 situation today, we still need to remain diligent so that we continue to practice safe procedures so we can stay that way.
So what it comes down to is, Gilbert believes we all have the capacity to “synthesize” happiness if or when necessary. This is in contrast to chasing after happiness (or wellbeing) as a goal or something to find. He says, “Natural happiness is what we get when we get what we want. Synthetic happiness is what we make when we don’t get what we want.” And while we all have this instinctive brain process available to us, it may come easier to some people (optimists vs. pessimists) rather than others. Also, some situations allow us to do it more effectively than other situations. Here are a few more insights that Gilbert provides.
- Recognize that as Gilbert says, “…negative events do affect us, but they generally don’t affect us as much or for as long as we expect them to.”
- Gilbert says, “The psychological immune system works best when we are totally stuck, when we are trapped.” When we believe it’s impossible for us to change the situation, our minds get very creative by helping us become more appreciative of what is happening.
- Realize that it is far easier for us to remember the past, than to generate new possibilities for the future.
- Understand that, according to Gilbert, “We cannot feel good about an imaginary future when we are busy feeling bad about an actual present.”
- We usually think that more choices and variety will make us happier but it seldom does (extensive research backs this up!)
- How something ends stays with us far longer and more vividly in our memory than how it started or what happened in between.
I’m guessing that those of us who think optimistically are already pretty good at imagining a positive future or synthesizing happiness when necessary. And I’ll admit that “psychological immune system” didn’t mean quite what I thought it might before my research. But who among us doesn’t appreciate knowing that something within our brains will compel us to create a good explanation for just about any difficult situation we might come across? It’s sort of like having a best friend, inside our own head, that will support us, comfort us and guide us toward a future that allows us to be at peace with any difficult circumstance. So, from where I stand, it is SMART to realize that I can rely on my psychological immune system and synthesize happiness if or when it might be necessary. Meanwhile, let’s all stay healthy and sane!
Hi Kathy, I agree on the “equally” as important to our health. You did make me smile on “the three-and-a-half-pound meatloaf.” Our brains are a smart computer, yet I agree how a healthy psychological immune system will help us cope and find solutions to challenges and especially to our present day circumstances.
You remind me of the five stages of grief. I believe these stages are a part of our immune system. Acceptance is the last stage although we are then able to move forward to help us create a new future. I also think EQ and IQ is part of the conversation. A great thought-provoking post, as always, Kathy. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to connecting again, soon.
It sure is. But, it’s sometimes difficult to figure it all out – knowing ourselves and what works best for us. Trial and error is the best practice. 🙂
My understanding of Gilbert’s theory is that he is saying that our imagination fails us when it comes to predicting the future, and particularly, when predicting what will make us happy. He describes human imagination as having three flaws as a predictive mechanism: 1) inaccuracy (because it is based on memories and perceptions), 2) a heavy reliance on present circumstances and emotions when projecting the future because in fact the future is usually quite different than the present, and 3) the psychological immune system. He views what he calls “the psychological immune system” as a flaw of the imagination because people typically have a bias to believe things that they think will benefit them and to not believe things that they think will have a negative impact on them. (This is somewhat similar to the notion of cognitive dissonance, where people ignore evidence that does not fit their preconceived beliefs.) This bias (psychological immune system) is actually not a good thing as it leads people to make poor predictions. Gilbert suggests that instead of relying on imagined future happiness to make life choices, we should instead look at others’ experiences and extrapolate their experiences to our own situation when making predictions and decisions.
I think Gilbert’s theory is valuable, but I also think the term “psychological immune system” is a poor label for the psychological process he is describing. I know that he intends it as a metaphor but I think it is a misleading metaphor.
Jude
Hi Jude! I completely agree that Gilbert says repeatedly that we can’t trust our imagination to predict our future very well for all the reasons you mention. However, I didn’t read anywhere (or hear on his TED talk) that he sees the psychological immune system as a “flaw” or a “misleading metaphor.” From what I read/heard he warns that it can be unhealthy if you are unaware of the mind’s tendency to fill in the story in that way, but he also said that it is a defense mechanism that our minds use to keep our lives moving forward with purpose and meaning–especially when facing severe trauma. Think of Viktor Frankl who obviously used the worst experience possible to overcome a horrible experience and went out to lead an amazing life. While cognitive dissonance and unknown biases can be a problem with any line of thinking, I don’t categorize the act of any of those in a way that is misleading–only something that we need to be aware of and keep in balance. But then, that is obviously my own biases and dissonances talking! Thank for sharing your own! 🙂 ~Kathy
That makes sense to me. Based on their experiences, people with serious trauma in their pasts will probably tend to “guesstimate” in the negative direction (and perhaps fall into depression), and people whose confidence was reinforced a lot will probably tend to extrapolate in a positive direction. A few years ago, I read Flourish, about using the science we have about happiness, and it had some exercises to help people move towards resilience, “immunity,” etc.
I do worry about the blame-shifting. We all do it, of course, but mature people can correct themselves and apportion the blame more fairly. On a large social scale, blame-shifting becomes the scapegoating of vulnerable/minority populations (Jews, Blacks, women), especially in times of crisis.
Hi Nancy! From what I read about Gilbert’s “theory” is that we actually spin our traumas in a mostly positive way no matter how bad it is. Think of Ann Frank and her optimism. Think of Viktor Frankl. I’ve read so many stories of people who faced severe trauma and have been able to rework the story in a way that is more purposeful. I don’t think it has to be happy or giddy by any means, but if it brings a person to greater self awareness, meaning and purpose, then I’m believing that it works for most of us (assuming we are clinically depressed or suffering from another mental condition.)
As far as “blame-shifting” I completely agree. That one surprised me because I don’t think I blame people very much but that doesn’t mean that the temptation doesn’t exist! As you say, if it is unconscious then it can easily get out of control and do some very tragic things. We need to stay conscious of that for sure. Thanks for your thoughts! ~Kathy
So, do you think we will know/realize when our “psychological immune system” is in action or is it more a subconscious entity?
I can totally relate to the statement that “We usually think that more choices and variety will make us happier but it seldom does” as I have often contemplated this myself. That topic could fill an entire blog post!
In our western world, we have so many choices (lifestyle choices as well as food choices – just a walk into a grocery store is overwhelming!) that we are often at a loss about what to pick. Life is easier with more restrictions (like when we had our dogs aboard, we knew we wanted to anchor close to shore and the beach, but once they passed away, we were at a loss about where to anchor). Even though that sounds counterintuitive! I have many of those examples. It’s one of the reasons why we were open to adopting a new dog as well. Too many choices becomes overwhelming and often leaves us hanging.
Hi Liesbet! From what I read it seems like the more we try to “manipulate it” the less likely it will work. We don’t always like to realize we are cooking the facts.
And yes, I’m the type of person who “thinks” she likes a lot of choice but I do recognize that sometimes it makes me a little crazy. Having to choose among too many options makes it more difficult to make decisions and with my “two minds” going at hyperspeed it can definitely create ‘unhappiness.” Fortunately I’ve learned to give myself deadlines and other “tricks” to whittle down choices and that helps me. But I REALLY appreciate how it works for you and something you’ve done to help it work in your life (by adding Maya for instance.) Knowing ourselves and what works best for us is so important don’t you think? Thanks for you input. ~Kathy
Interesting as I’m taking the Yale course on the Science of Happiness right now and the one thing I highlighted to other day is “it will be less good than you think… but it will be REALLY less bad than you think” about expectation and reality. I’m hoping there will be more learning about rationalization (synthesized happiness) as the class progresses. But it’s also nice to have some tools outlined that can help boost happiness – perhaps it’s not the psychological immune system, but perhaps it is. Tools like taking time to savor, practicing gratitude, random acts of kindness, getting enough exercise and sleep, and connecting regularly with other (positive) people. All so very important to keep doing now as anxiety can creep in so easily these days.
Hi Pat! How great that you are taking the Science of Happiness Course right now. What a great way to keep your mind focused on positive thoughts and actions rather than the opposite. I’m SURE there are a lot of connections between what you are learning and the work of Daniel Gilbert. Anything we can learn and become more proficient at in the areas of wellbeing is VERY important these days. Thanks for your input! ~Kathy
Staying healthy and sane are good goals at any time, but especially now. Thanks for another informative post, Kathy!
Deb
Hi Deb! You’re welcome! I’m glad you found it encouraging! ~Kathy
Interesting as usual Kathy. These days, of course we want a “psychological immune system”. Great to know that our brains will “support us, comfort us and guide us toward a future that allows us to be at peace with any difficult circumstance.”
Hi Gary! Thanks for checking in here. Had you heard of the “psychological immune system before?” I find it valuable to know that we have this ability even though we aren’t always aware of it. ~ Kathy
Yes, it can be called different things but our psychological health affects everything…
The human brain never, ever ceases to amaze me.
Thank you for sharing Gilbert’s resilency research with us. Fascinating!
Hi Donna! Thanks. I’ve always been a fan of Gilbert and when the term psychological immune system popped up I couldn’t help but follow the thread. It’s funny but when I read his book several years ago it never registered. It just seems REALLY timely right now. Thanks for letting me know you appreciated it too! ~Kathy
Although I didn’t have a name for it before, humans possessing a psychological immune system makes a lot of sense. Having the ability to find the good in a bad situation helps us work through the pain and get to the other side. I think that what we are currently going through is throwing many of us off our natural psychological immune system, though. There is so much unknown… we are on uncharted waters. Sometimes I find that my usual optimistic self is struggling to maintain my “it will all work out, and may be even better in the end” response.
Hi Janis! I’m betting that many of us will be able to look back at this time and synthesize a really good explanation for why this is exactly what we (and our country!) need right now. Now that I know that this process is such a human part of all of us, it is good to know it’s there. I’ll bet your “usual optimistic self” will pop back out when things get a little more predictable don’t you? Meanwhile, just knowing our “interior best friend” will fill in the details!!! ~Kathy
Thanks, Kathy! On a further note, we tend to think that we will be happier if things go exactly as planed (natural happiness). However, that isn’t really true. We are actually happier when things don’t go as planned, and we have to synthesize happiness – find a way to keep things on track. If everyone realized this fully, there would be much less worrying!
Hi Jamie! Hmmm….I’m not sure I agree that I’m NEVER happy when my plans unfold as planned, because I do get a great deal of satisfaction when things come together. But I agree that it is a slightly different sort of “happiness.” When things just turn out well and/or I can see how something was really perfect the way it did unfold, completely different from what I expected, that too is a sort of joyful acceptance. And that’s probably exactly what you are talking about. And yes, didn’t the Buddha say all suffering comes from our attachments–especially attachments to our plans and the way they HAVE TO BE! Far better to flow with change and possibility right now–at least for me. Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy