During the last four and a half years I have written and published every post here on SMART Living 365. But as Thom and I prepared for a three week trip over the holidays, I decided to invite three other bloggers I enjoy and admire to contribute and share their SMART advice. Today’s Guest Post comes from author and writer Tom Sightings from his blog Sightings Over Sixty. I’ve been reading Tom’s blog for several years and greatly enjoy his diverse topics, his perspective on life, and his sense of humor. I hope you enjoy this post and I strongly encourage you to check out his blog if you get a chance. Thank you, Tom, for sharing your SMART, practical and funny wisdom with us all.
Let’s face it, soon or later we all get old, assuming we’re still around at all. There’s nothing we can do about it — except maybe try to do it with some class, and not burden ourselves or our loved ones with all the consequences and complications.
It doesn’t matter if we’re 55 or 75. We can still approach our senior years with some style and grace. Here are a few suggestions that have occurred to me. Maybe you have others.
First of all, we’ve already heard all the jokes about colonoscopies, senior moments and midnight bathroom breaks. We’re not going to add anything new, so let’s just skip on to other things — topics that don’t so indelibly stamp us as an old geezer. Sure, other people may share your health issue and want some information. But let’s not dwell on infirmities and disabilities. There must be other things in our lives to talk about– the books we’ve read, the movies we’ve seen, the places we’ve been, the plans we’re making.
Also, let’s try not to harbor regrets or grudges. Are you still pining for an old boyfriend, or feeling disappointed because you didn’t get into your first-choice college — or didn’t go to college at all? Are you holding a grudge against a colleague who was once promoted over you, or regretting an opportunity you were too dumb to take? There’s nothing we can do about it now, so let it go. And we shouldn’t feel that we have to keep our old mistakes a deep, dark secret. Talk about them. Share them with friends. Even Frank Sinatra had a few regrets. We might even find humor in what we once thought was an embarrassing or humiliating episode.
The days of office parties, long lunches and business trips with people we don’t even like are over. We have no more obligations, except perhaps to your family — so we shouldn’t feel as if we have to accept a dinner invitation from a boring neighbor. We should be able to socialize with people who make us happy. Go where we want to go, as the old song goes, do what we want to do.
Along the same lines, we often read retirement advice urging us to stay productive, chalk up more achievements. That’s great, if you’re motivated in that direction. But many of us feel we’ve been doing that for 40 years — and now we want to kick back and enjoy life. What’s the point of retiring if you have to get up early, rush off someplace where you might not want to go, and then stumble home at night tired and exhausted and stressed out? Some retirees only want to sit around the kitchen table and read the newspaper, then lie around the backyard and watch the clouds drift by. There’s nothing wrong with that!
Our days of trying to impress others, trying to keep up with the Joneses, should be long gone by now. If you want to start an exercise program, or a diet, or zen meditation, do it because you want to, not because a friend or neighbor is pressuring you into it. There are lots of reasons to eat right, exercise regularly and challenge your mind. But we should do it only if it makes us feel better, not because we think we’ll fit in better. In other words, be yourself. If you want to let your hair go gray, who cares? If you don’t want to wear a tie anymore . . . hey, there’s no dress code for retirement!
Finally, in retirement I think we should all be able to look ourselves in the mirror — and like what we see. When we were young we might have wanted to look like a movie star or an NFL quarterback. But now, guess what? You’re not a movie star. You’re not a quarterback. So we can finally become comfortable looking like ourselves. That’s not to say we shouldn’t try to look our best — but it’s our best, not someone else’s idea of what looks acceptable. A few lines on the face give us character. Age spots show maturity. Gray hair proves we’ve got some gravitas.
You should listen to me. Because all I’ve got is gravitas!
Tom Sightings produces one of my favorite blogs, Sightings Over Sixty, and is the author of the recently published book You Only Retire Once.
Please make Tom welcome with your comments and thoughts below!
I loved this post! Having turned fifty myself this past year, I was surprised, and pleasantly so, that getting older isn’t as terrifying as I thought it was going to be. I blogged about it a bit over at my place; the parallels between this article and a few things I said make me think I’m on the right track with this whole ‘aging gracefully’ thing.
Hi Dizzy Bee! Welcome to SMART Living and thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. So glad to hear that you’re also finding the benefits that come as we age. And no, looking back from 60 (my age) you seem so very young!!! And also glad to hear you’ve already learned a lot of the great things that come from our “elevated perspective!” Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Thanks for sharing a great post. Aging gracefully is one of my goals in life, probably 30 years from now , I can say I did it! Just enjoy life as it is, stop complaining. live life to the fullest and always stay happy and positive. Great Read.
As a working-stiff who loves my work, I still look forward to easier days…
Good advice! Right you are.
We have to accept ourselves warts, mistakes and all. We have to remind ourselves that tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives…but it is a short list of days.
Lovely post – and so many truths in there (especially in regard to not having to spend time at boring parties or jobs you hate going to). There are so many benefits when you pass the 50yr mark and I’m loving them all!
Kathy, it’s an honor to be your guest, and … have a great vacation!
Great point of view, Tom. I’m far from retired but I still appreciate your pointers. I agree that a retired person shouldn’t feel obliged to continue working especially at something they don’t really care about. That’s one of the reasons I am staying out of debt so I don’t find myself unable to enjoy retirement. Nice to meet you Tom and thanks for this great share, Kathy!
Thanks Tom, for all of your reassurances that it’s good to be me, as is! You sound just like my husband, and I plan to start listening to him any day now!
Attitude is everything! I certainly don’t miss the lunches with people I don’t like.
Love this, Tom! Of course, as a writer, I’ll never actually retire 🙂 But the good news is, I get to live my passion every day. Geezer or no! LOL
Age does allow you to make your own choices and to not be driving by what your neighbor or best friend is doing. But it also can be isolating and so if someone suggests you walk with them or shop with them or see a film–do it. Our strong-held beliefs in ourselves will always need someone on the phone or on the internet saying HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
Wow! Thanks for sharing this. I hope I would live like that when I turn 50. In the second innings of life, everything changes, well pretty much. It’s like, you live for a purpose, and after retirement, there seems to be a purpose to resolve. I hope I amount to something good in the second innings of my life.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Tom