I believe that an ongoing focus on life-long learning is an important quality for those of us who want to live a happy, healthy and rewarding life. And what I’ve noticed is that if we pay attention, we can learn something from just about every experience (and yes, every person) we encounter. With that in mind, as some of you know Thom and I just spent over a month in an Airbnb in Ajijic, Mexico. Not only was it a very enjoyable experience, but it also got me thinking about a few life lessons I learned along the way and things I want to remember in the years ahead.
Of course, I’m guessing that some of these lessons could be learned during any form of travel. And I’ve definitely written about that before. But this time I was thinking specifically about how an Airbnb can feel different than staying in a hotel or with friends or family. I’m guessing that’s because if you stay long enough in a place that resembles a home, it offers more than just a quick visit. By staying over a month, it was an opportunity to see how living in that location would be. In addition, it was a chance to remember five different lessons that apply to life everywhere. They are:
1) Everything is a leasehold. When you think about it we don’t really own anything—we just have a right to use it for a while. While most people who buy a home tend to believe they own their property, in most cases the bank and the local municipalities and government owns it too. Sure, we get the privilege of living there (usually) until we sell it, but those other entities have a big claim to it as well. And let’s face it, at some point when our lives are over, our property will belong to someone else.
When staying in an Airbnb you are reminded that the property belongs to someone else and you are merely a visitor. In some cases, that’s great news because if something breaks or bill comes in, it belongs to the owner on record. On the other hand, you agreed when you rented it to take care of it and not change it substantially. And when you leave, you hand back the keys and move on.
We considered ourselves very fortunate to find a great property in Ajijic this visit. The house was in a perfect location for walking everywhere, the bed was comfortable, plenty of hot water in the shower and a spectacular back yard. But it wasn’t ours. Knowing that we had to leave at the end of our time there was a great reminder to make the most of every day and appreciate what we had during our time there. Shouldn’t all life be that way? It’s said that when we remember that there is an “end” to any experience that can enhance the days leading up to the end. Let’s keep that in mind.
2) Change happens—go with the flow. Okay this “lesson” isn’t unique to renting an Airbnb. It clearly
applies to all travel and as recent history shows it helps to be flexible in all things. As some of you know, a few days after our arrival I had a rather challenging health experience. I plan to write about the experience of dealing with it in Mexico in the near future, so I won’t go into details. But yes, it changed our plans in many ways.
The good news was that we were in a beautiful and comfortable place to be recovering from an illness. And rather than fight with the experience or blame myself or others for it happening in the first place, it was far better to remind myself that things change. Stuff happens. Learning to let it flow was not only the best thing mentally I could do for myself, but probably the most healing as well.
3) We don’t need as much as we think we do. I am reminded of this every single time I travel. For our trip
we packed two normal size suitcases and two carry ons. And while I was getting a little tired of wearing the same outfits repeatedly, the truth is I could have done with less. All the clothes in our closets at home and all the gadgets we think we need are usually just excess things that we surround ourselves with to make life a little more convenient. But I’m guessing most of us could easily do without.
In many cases I also think that we can do without many of the extras we get when we rent an Airbnb. We were excited to have a place with a solar heated pool. But it was too cold (for me at least!) to use it. We also had a dishwasher and several other benefits that we never or seldom used. Again, it was a reminder that while it is nice to have extras at home, most of time we don’t really need them to have a happy experience or a good life.
4) Making comfort a priority is usually overrated. One thing I find as I get older is that it is tempting to
make sure I have the amenities that I “think” I need to be comfortable in a rental. However, in some cases I end up paying for things I never use at all or never needed in the first place. While a few things are worth ensuring (like a king size bed for the two of us), other things like an air-conditioner in the bedroom didn’t matter at all. Far more important was the lovely patio and sitting area we had with a large green-space.
One of the biggest complaints I hear from others who travel is the many travelers that arrive in a foreign country and then expect it to be just like back home. It isn’t home and that is exactly why it is so beneficial to travel. Sure, there were a few things I missed while I was gone. And some things in another culture are annoying. But the overwhelming amount of new and interesting experiences more than makes up for it. Overall, I think we travel to learn and discover more about the world and ourselves and we usually do that best when we are in new surroundings and situations.
5) Take the time to connect to the people around you. Again, one of the biggest benefits to an Airbnb is that you are in a neighborhood among people who live in your travel location. If you stay in a hotel, it is far too easy just to see the sights and hang with other tourists. Staying in a home requires you to walk the streets, shop, cook and travel around the town in the same way locals do. Having a great place to stay was wonderful but getting together with old and new friends, and feeling how it felt to live there, offered some of the best memories. I think choosing a location where you know the people are friendly and welcoming can be some of the best advice I can offer.
There are likely many more benefits to staying in an Airbnb (or Homestay, VRBO, etc.) but these are the ones that I believe apply anywhere at any time. And chances are staying in a vacation rental (rather than a hotel) is safer as long as COVID is a concern. Ultimately, I think it is SMART to remember that those of us who love to travel and have the resources to do so are fortunate to have the option. So why not learn and enjoy what we can while we do it?
Kathy I loved reading this for the tips but also the talk about travel! It seems an age since we have been anywhere and it’s so good to read that you and others are starting to travel more, Australia has had its borders closed for so long now I wonder when we’ll feel ready to actually leave home!
Hi Debbie! I’m happy to inspire you! And I think if done correctly we can stay nearly as safe while we travel as staying home (unless of course you are a complete hermit!) Of course I think it is important to note that some people have more serious health problems and simply must practice more caution. But for the majority of us I think slowly easing into is good for our psyche! And then once you start it slowly comes back to us…sort of like riding a bicycle. Hopefully the ease AND the joy of it will return soon for us all. ~Kathy
Great tips, Kathy. I don’t agree with only one thing: that comfort is overrated. Of course, I’m coming from a very different place than most, but I often crave comfort as a nomad in a small camper. I find it one of the things I miss most and I enjoy most when it is offered to me. And with comfort I mean a comfortable chair, desk, bed, couch, a kitchen with burners far enough apart, a deep enough kitchen sink, running water, and a place to stretch my legs. 🙂
Other than your health scare, I’d say this stay in Mexico was a huge succes! AirBnB is becoming more and more popular and they are gearing more and more towards long-term stays. I’d love to travel like this at some point in the future.
Hi Liesbet! As a person/couple who lives a “life less ordinary” I’m sure the idea of comfort sounds rather appealing now and then. But for the vast majority of us who already live a quite comfortable life it is another thing. When you have it routinely it is so very easy to take it for granted and before you know it you don’t realize how good it really is. I think that is one reason why travel helps to shake us up a bit and realize that we really can live quite well without all our stuff (including all our comforts!) And yes, our trip was a huge success and offered us both a bit of adventure AND a bit of comfort! Just enough of both to make it a great trip. Enjoy your adventure in MX and I hope you find a bit of comfort too along the way. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy. Great article with excellent travel advice/lessons. As you know, Paul and I favor long-term stays also. Although traveling from one place to another has its pluses (I love road trips), staying in one location lets you really get to know the people and the area. Although we haven’t done a home exchange yet, I love the concept. Airbnbs and VRBOs (usually) provide a much more welcoming experience than hotels can. It really looks like you struck gold with your latest stay in Mexico. I hope your health continues to approve now that you are back home (but I bet you won’t get house calls in the US 🙂 ).
Hi Janis! Yes I know you know the value of “slow travel” as well but you are SO RIGHT about no “house calls” here in the U.S. At least here I finally qualify for medicare. Next time would love to have you join us when we visit Ajijic! ~Kathy
What a great article on several levels. You can read it as a travel article — all good points about traveling. I’ve been lucky to travel to many countries, and to live in other countries for years at a time. Everything you said is spot on in my experience.
And of course each point is also, as you said, a life lesson. I don’t travel anymore, so now your observations are relevant to my life here at home. Just as spot on.
By the way, those photos are gorgeous. What a wonderful place you discovered to hang out. Wow.
Hi Galen. Thanks. I love to see if I can tie “life lessons” into travel or any other type of situation that appears different on the surface. After all, as you know it is ALL life lessons we we think about it. 🙂 and yes, we both love taking photos and any time I can use them on the blog that is a win-win too. Just another excuse to take a deeper look around ourselves and see the beauty. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – You make excellent points here. Although I don’t have much experience with Air BnB, (like Mary) I do have heaps of experience with Home Exchange. I agree that the lessons are similar. Namely, ? No matter how many material goods we acquire, we can’t take them with us. ? We definitely need far less than we often beleive that we do. ? Uncertainty is the only thing that is truly certain.? If we really want all of the comforts of home, we may need to rethink our reasons for travel. ? And connecting with others is not only a great thing to do – science has proven that it is essential to our health and longevity.
Thank you for this very thoughtful post!
Hi Donna! Yes when I was reading Mary’s comment I was thinking of you too because I know you have tons of experience with Home Exchanging. And I’m guessing they are very similar too…mainly because you are staying in a home and can really get the feel of what it is like to live there and in that neighborhood…and yes, we don’t really “own” the place, just have the right to stay there a while. As you say, I too believe that enhancing connections with others is critical for our health and longevity. So whatever way we do it, let’s make that an important part of our future. ~Kathy
Over 22 years ago, when a friend first told me about home exchange, she said that the true value of home exchange was not just saving money, it went much deeper than that. She couldn’t fully describe it further Your posts does this perfectly!
Thanks Donna…and your friend offered you very, very good advice. 🙂
What a great article, Kathy! Almost a bit of a review. We haven’t stayed in Airbnb’s however whenever we travel, we go for at least two weeks and more if we can. And, yes, we like to walk and see the real side of the location. Talk to the locals, experience the food, try the local transportation and fit in with everyone. For the most part, everyone is very friendly and welcoming. It makes the experience so enriching and fulfilling.
I love your five life points and you are correct, they apply to every aspect of life and beautifully with travel. Adapting to change is something that is never going to go away. And, yes, we’re finding we have more things for convenience than use. Travel makes you realize that the simpler lifestyle is easier and just as much fun as having all the amenities.
Thanks for sharing about Ajijic and the Airbnb. The pictures look amazing! Something for us to definitely think about it for the future. Take care and I really appreciate your thoughtful post, Kathy.
Hello Kathy
I’m sorry to hear you’ve had a health issue and hope you are now well on the road to recovery. Thanks for this posting on the joys of travelling and Air B & B. I’ve done quite a lot of travelling but only had two experiences of Air B & B, neither terribly positive but that hasn’t put us off trying again as we hear such good reports.
We also prefer staying in real homes to hotels and for many years we have done home exchange which has all the benefits you mention plus it is cheaper. Most of our trips have been to US, but we’ve also been to Canada, France, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Holland, Australia, Ireland and Scotland – usually for a month at a time. We have several exchanges ‘in the bank’ – people who have come to our property but we’ve not yet gone to theirs. Often we also exchange cars.
We prefer longer stays so that we can get a feel of the area. We like meeting people and being in real neighbourhoods – for the similar reasons to you – plus we enjoy shopping and cooking real food. (We love nice restaurants, but not every day.)
We have made friends with some wonderful people many of whom have introduced us to their friends. We are still in contact with our original exchangers – from Sanibel Island, Florida whom we met in a pub in London. They were seasoned exchangers, writing a book about their experiences. We stayed in touch and exchanged with them the following year – 1989.
Sometimes we’re asked, “Aren’t you afraid people will steal or damage your property and the answer is ‘no’. We have a comfortable home but it is not filled with priceless antiques. Anything especially precious to us (mostly personal items) we remove. We’ve had a couple of minor accidents – a few plates broken but nothing really serious and our exchangers have always ‘made good’.
Essentially, home exchange is about trust and we like to believe the world is full of decent, honest people. We’re not stupid (!) but home exchange is not a good idea for anyone who worries about people being ‘shysters, out to get them’. Over all these years only one exchange in all that time left a nasty taste – but we worked around it and didn’t let it stop us from enjoying our vacation – or put us off home exchange.
All the best, Mary
Hi Mary! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on Home Exchange because yes they are very similar to the vacation rental…and obviously cheaper if you just exchange rather than pay. Thom and I have only done one home exchange so far…and yes it went well too. I agree with your statement about how “safe” it is. Taking precautions can usually help to avoid most obvious problem…and actually the same can be said with vacation rentals. Know what you want. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, etc. etc. And as you say, staying for longer periods of time in any other location is absolutely the best for experiencing life in a new location. Thank you again for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
Hi, Mary – My husband and I are long-term home exchangers (going on 14 years now) and I completely agree with your comments here.
Great info Kathy. You and we have had some great rentals. The easiest thing to change is between our ears. Another side of “enjoy today” is “this is only for a limited time.” We also love to walk and explore.
Hi Gary! I know you and Robert have had some great experiences “settling” into a vacation rental and if I’m not mistaken, have some planned for the future. Yes to… “Another side of “enjoy today” is “this is only for a limited time.” ~Kathy
Great points Kathy. A reminder to make the most of each day and embrace all that comes our way especially when we travel. Like you, I have much richer experiences living among the locals. During my summer in Kuwait while wandering alone I was able to get through the language barrier with the kindness and patience of the people I met. At one shop a local wearing a burka with only her eyes uncovered held a funny figurine towards me and we both laughed. Laughter/a smile is indeed the universal language. Our VRBO experience in Florida showed how everything that could go wrong would go wrong. Even a sewer problem!! But each problem was quickly resolved and we were heavily compensated for our troubles. They delivered delicious meals, heated the pool and gave us a much better overall experience. You are so right Kathy change happens…go with the flow. Thank you for all of the reminders!!
Hi Amanda. Ahhh…I love that story of the woman in Kuwait. That reminds me of the people in Mexico and nearly every single one men, women, children will respond with a smile and a Buenos dios/Buenos Tardes if you say it to them first. In fact they typically look down as you are going by as though they don’t expect anything from you and when you say it with a smile they respond so well. I LOVE that!
I also love your response to issues that invariably happen when you travel. But that’s life isn’t it? While they might be a bit annoying the fact that you are traveling and somewhere you want to be more than make up for any of it IMHO. Glad you liked the post! ~Kathy
One of my sisters laughs when we travel together. Wherever I’m going to sleep, I move in first thing. Layout my bathroom items on a washcloth. Hand clothes that need to hang. Unpack suitcase into a drawer-just like at home.
When I travel I am HOME! A Native American Medicine Woman shared that her tribe believes “each day is a life. Each day is a whole life”
I’m sorry you had a health scare while there and glad you found your way through it. Take good care.
Hi Elle…I’m an unpacker too! I like to move in as much as possible and inhabit a place. I love that idea of remembering that each day is a whole life… I’m not completely through my health situation…are any of us every “completely” ???? and that idea of making each day a whole life is very relevant. Thank you. ~Kathy
I’m glad for you, that you are home for the remaining needed healthcare!!!!
Thanks for your good wishes Elle 🙂
Travel really does provide the opportunity to embrace so much in life that stimulates us and brings joy. I even love going away with just one modest sized bag, rolling up clothes really tightly and enjoying the challenge of “washing as we go” and wearing most things more than I might normally. However, even then I invariably return with one item unworn!
Hi Caree! Good for you for traveling light. I admire that in other people and don’t go too crazy, but because we had been in the area before and knew we’d be there over a month and wanted to take a few kitchen essentials that would help us cook more at the house. But yes, isn’t it funny how something that seemed so important before you leave really isn’t that important in the long run. I try to remind myself of that all the time! ~Kathy
I love this article and agree with almost every one of your points. (We do like our comforts, altho’ we only get a queen size bed and don’t care about a/c … but there’s the beach!). We are about to embark on a month-long trip to Charleston, SC, a place that we’ve come to think of as our second home. We don’t own anything there, but we’ve visited a dozen times, and stayed in the same neighborhood and even the same complex a couple of times. We’ve gotten to know a few people (helped by the fact that we have a son and his family in the area) and just enjoy the heck out of it. One thing I don’t understand though. I wouldn’t want to go someplace where I didn’t know the language, or where I wasn’t trying to learn the language. Even though a lot of people speak English, I’d think that I was missing too much. (Plus, I read “American Dirt” and that’s scared me away from Mexico.)
Hi Tom! Glad my list hit most of the right boxes for you. How great that Charleston is such a great place for you to visit where you know people and enjoy the town…without having to own and manage a place the rest of the year when you aren’t there. But…even though I read “American Dirt” too…that is not the Mexico I know 🙂 Plus there is such a large expat community and so many of the locals speak English I hardly got to even practice my Spanish. I guess for me there is a lot of value in being in a place where things are so different and unusual…including sometimes the language, that I never feel like I’m missing anything…just being exposed to so much more than I would if I stayed home. If you’re ever up for it…I would love show you and B around Ajijic in the future and try and see if you changed your mind! ~Kathy