Like most people my age (65+) I feel that time appears to be going faster than ever before. For example, when I look at the calendar it is difficult to believe Thom and I have been back from our three-month trip for over a month now. Of course, we have gone and returned from Tucson twice since then, moved up to a rental cabin in the mountains, visited with friends and caught up on dozens of to-dos that we put off while traveling. But looking back over that month, especially when I admit that I planned (avoided?) writing a blog post (or two) during that time, my excuse is that I just didn’t have time. Does time actually go faster as we age or am I just getting pickier and pickier about how I spend it?
Make no mistake, I enjoy writing so it isn’t that I didn’t want to write, it’s just that it seemed other things took priority. And then, whenever I started “should-ing” on myself (you know, when you start telling yourself over and over that you “should” do something) I resisted. Like most of us, whenever I feel I must do something, it sucks the joy right out of it. So, for the last two or even three weeks I’ve had this pull between wanting to write and “I should” pulling me back and forth. Meanwhile time seemed to race by.
So that got me thinking about time and asking questions. Is time really going faster or is that just the push-pull of my thinking? Surprisingly I found some answers. It appears that the subjective experience of time going faster is universal as we age and there are several theories as to why that happens.
#1 We frequently measure time in terms of ratios. In other words when you are 10 years old, the time between Christmas and summer vacations drags on for a long time. Ratio wise, six months to a 10-year-old is 1/20th of his/her life. Compared to a 60-year-old, six months is 1/120th. In other words, six months is a tiny part of our lives. Obviously, the last month flew by for me because in terms of my entire life, it was a tiny fraction of my entire existence.
#2 When you experience and learn something new every day—it takes on bigger significance. Back when we were young the entire world was filled with new and amazing experiences. By the time you reach your sixties you’ve seen and experienced A LOT! When confronted by something new our minds register it in a more profound way and we usually remember it more. That’s when time slows down. When it is the same-old, same-old our minds/memories barely register it and before we know it, time seems to dissolve into an hour/an afternoon/a day/a week. Let’s remember that repetition makes our days monotonous and that makes time disappear. Want your experience of time to slow down? Fill your days with new and/or creative experiences.
#3 Pressure affects how we experience time. A Scientific American article cites a study that compared “time pressure” for both students and seniors. What do I mean by time pressure? One way to create time pressure in my life is for me to say, “I really, really need to write a blog post this week or everyone will think I quit writing!” Or for students, “I simply have to study hard and get a good grade on that test this Friday or I’ll flunk out.” In both cases the strong time pressure to do something makes a week fly by. Interestingly enough, the study revealed that age had nothing to do with how fast time seemed to go when we are under pressure to do something. Want to slow down time? Reduce any time pressure to have to do something.
#4 Anticipation slows time down. Remember as a kid it seems liked Christmas would never arrive? Or what about when you couldn’t wait to get a driver’s license or graduate? When we anticipate something (especially something in the distant future), it makes time appear to slow down. Unfortunately, as we age, far too many of us focus more of maintaining our lives rather than anticipating something new and exciting to come. When we stop spending time thinking about what will be coming in the years ahead, the present time seems to speed by. Want time to slow down? Plan something you can be excited about to do in the years ahead.
#5 Our experience of time slows down because we process visual information differently as we age. Adrian Bejan, a professor at Duke University, believes that time appears to go faster as we age because we process visual information at a much slower rate than when young. This slow-down of visual processing ties into memory formation. According to Bejan, older brains process fewer “mental frames per minute.” That slower processing reduces the visual data we take in as well as the mental images we remember. Another way of saying that is that for children, a lot more data is packed into every moment because they process it so much faster. The more data, the more memory, the more time seems to slow down. Plus, Bejan says that the size and complexity of older brains adds to the slowdown of our mental processes and again, that makes time appear to go faster than it is. How do we slow down our visual mental processing? While Bejan doesn’t say this, I can’t help but believe that when we stop and look—really look—at the things around us, that allows us to process it in a way that makes time appear to slow down.
After reading all these different theories about why time seems to go so fast these days, I came up with what I believe will help me the most in the future. Gratitude. When I slow down enough to realize all the good in my life in the present moment—and then pause in gratitude—time seems to freeze if only for a moment. And while I can’t necessarily slow down the way my brain processes the visual images in my mind, I can make plans that heighten my anticipation and cause me to learn and experience new things as I age. I am also very fortunate to be able to greatly reduce any “pressures” in my life. So, in the future I will blog when I think I have something to say and not “should on myself” when I don’t. I now know that while it is impossible to stop time, the SMART way to think about it is that “I get to make it up!”
Hi Kathy, My mom always used to tell me that time speeds up as you get older. And, yes, sometimes it moves so quick you don’t know where the time went.
I loved your 5 points. Yes, learning something new definitely changes the routine and the day. I was learning Portuguese for six months before our trip and that definitely was a challenge but very interesting. The time-pressure conundrum is very true! You put it into words very succinctly. Finding ways to minimize it is important to enjoying things and experiencing gratitude in your everyday life.
And I agree with the anticipation point. I could hardly wait for our trip to begin and it seemed like it was never going to arrive. Even though we had lots of things to plan and arrange. We’re already planning our next big trip for the future :-). Definitely being totally present in the moment and really looking at and appreciating something helps slow down time. I sometimes do that by looking out over the ocean and letting my imagination run wild.
The last point is perfect – “I get to make it up!” And that’s the crux of the matter, isn’t it? We are all the masters of our own destiny so our choices will determine how time workes for each and every one of us. Thanks for this awesome post!!
Hi Debbie! You’re BACK! I didn’t/haven’t seen any posts about your trip! I hope you had an awesome time in every way. Are you going to write about it? I just checked your blog again and didn’t see anything…if it’s there comment here with a link and I will check it out. I love reading about other people’s trip too.
And we are also planning what we will do next…I guess that comes from enjoying the process so much. I look forward to hearing where you will be going next too…and who knows? Our paths will eventually cross one of these times! ~Kathy
This is all very interesting and… timely… for all of us.
As I age, I have noticed the same thing about time going faster. Every year, actually, the next year seems closer around the corner. So, I read your post with a lot of interest, Kathy. I could mostly relate to the point about putting pressure on ourselves and that this makes it seem like time goes faster.
I’m constantly running out of time, because I want to do too much. I think that’s a characteristic of being an overachiever or always wanting to do more and better. The A personality, I guess? The same is true for my blogging experiences, which you describe almost to the T.
Yes, I get to make it up. But why do I keep pressuring myself? It’s almost like I need this to be productive. Thing is that I barely have time to breathe… I/we have so much to do!
Hi Liesbet. I get it. I too seem to have a strong need to accomplish things. I feel really good when I get things done that I want and need to do and feel unsettled when I don’t. I KNOW that just do-do-do isn’t the answer to a fulfilling life OR to savoring precious moments but I do still have that “tendency.” Besides my daily meditation practice as well as conscious breathing and on-going gratitude, Thom is really really good for me. He just doesn’t have that same drive as I do (and it sounds like you as well). Not that he’s a slouch by any means but he doesn’t seem to get the same rewards as I do and seeing his example helps me to calm down and slow down about things. He is constantly reminding me that I the only reason I need to do many of those things is because “I THINK” I need to do them. Of course some stuff needs to be done (and I know you’ve had a LOT that needed doing lately!) so you do it…but there are a lot of things we do have control over. And then of course I’m a good 15-20 years older than you so maybe I’ve just learned some of that as time goes by. Keep breathing my friend and realize that “right now” are the moments that you will look back on and realize how precious they were! ~Kathy
Thank you for your lovely and personalized reply, Kathy. I’m glad you can relate. Mark is also someone who needs to get things done, but on a different level.
His A-type personality shines through with important projects, research, and making real-life progress. But he is definitely more relaxed when it comes to my priorities involving online tasks and blogging. I’ll have to find a balance, because I see almost everything as work these days and have zero time to write my diaries and read books.
I’ve been thinking about time myself lately! Yes, a blog is forming in my mind about it…a bit different spin than yours, of course. But I really appreciated the varying concepts you laid out. I’ve been reading some different history-based books this summer, and that also puts time into perspective. Thinking about how long it has been (or not been) since certain things happened in history. Definitely links to your point about time ratios. I saw a reference to “late 1900’s” recently in an article, similar to a “late 1800’s” usage and it hit me – yeah, that’s now history! And since my mom is approaching another birthday, also thinking back to what was life like when my mom was born, when I was born, when my mom was 60, and now. All that puts some different perspective on time as well
I try and learn new things, practice gratitude, and stop should-ing myself – all three works in progress!. I’ve not done much anticipation lately though…I was trying to not have high expectations for things (which results in disappointment) so I think I’ve erred too much on the side of not anticipating. Definitely something to consider again! Anticipation and reminiscing are two elements of experiences (savor being the third), so fits in my life tenets too!
Hi Pat! Nice to hear from you. I’ve been tardy and not checked out your blog for a while so I hope all is well in your world (and it sounds like it is!)
I think time is one of those things that affects us (or is it effects us?) every single day but we don’t give it much thought. I found it was very helpful (and I’ll bet you are too) to see how malleable it is and what we can do about it if we are paying attention. And it sounds like you are already doing most things that can help you make the most of your time. I’m BIG on anticipation so it’s pretty easy for me so I strongly recommend it! Take care and thanks for your thoughts. (I will have to pay attention and read your post about time when it pops up!) ~Kathy
Doing the math makes “time flies” make perfect sense. A much smaller portion of my life at 61y than at 10y.
Absolutely no pressure to write blog posts. I’m glad for you that you’re letting go of “the calendar” and following your Bliss in writing. 🙂
Happy everything! (and I hope you have your health concerns under control).
Hi Elle! Thanks for confirming that there is no need to PRESSURE ourselves into writing blog posts. As you say it should be our “bliss” not our obligation. And YES to my health concerns all doing great right now. Of course it’s always easier to manage such things when you are close to home, right? ~Kathy
Christmas can’t come fast enough for the youngster waiting in anticipation for the magic. As an adult responsible for making the magic, Christmas comes all too quickly. Waiting is always made easier by doing something to bide the time. I experience time differently during a massage or practicing yoga when I feel transported. We’re all given 24 hrs in a day. It’s not so much the passage of time but what we do with it. In the words of Bob Lowry, every day I strive to do something that needs doing and something that wants doing.
Hi Mona! So true. Our 24 hours are a gift aren’t they and it is good as you and Bob remind us that, “every day I strive to do something that needs doing and something that wants doing.” Thanks for your thoughts! ~Kathy
It seems that when I’m looking forward to something, time moves slowly. I should add the caveat that if I’m looking forward to something, but I have tons to do to prepare, than it’s here in a flash. When I don’t want an experience/vacation/etc. to end, whoosh, it’s gone. Hmmmm, maybe we need to start looking forward to bad things so that they will never arrive 🙂
I do look forward to your posts so don’t be too much of a stranger.
Hi Janis! You gave a good example of anticipation mixed with time-pressure. It sounds like they sort of cancel each other out don’t they? And you might have something with your anticipation of bad things happening so they take FOREVER to arrive. And thanks for your encouragement to both take whatever time I need AND that you like my posts when they do show up! Of course that is exactly how I feel about your posts! ~Kathy
It’s so strange but I have found in retirement when I have filled my days with different pursuits and flexibility, time has slowed down for me. When I was working, life followed a routine pattern and flew by uncontrollably and with very little to show for it except the painful realisation that I’d returned from holiday only a few days before yet it felt like a lifetime ago after being stuck at a desk ploughing through piles of unanswered post. I like to think that in retirement I have rediscovered the exploratory side of life as experienced in childhood and with it the extension of time. Sometimes It’s good to kid yourself perhaps, even if all I’m really doing is regressing.
Hi Caree! How great that you are experiencing a slow down of time in your retirement. I’d guess that is because you are continually creating and learning new things as well as flowing with new experiences. As you said, with work the days just raced by with nothing distinctive about them. As I mentioned in a couple of other comments, I didn’t really point out in the article how our experience of time is so interwoven with memories. When we experience special and unique things our memories take the time to record them as special. When we do repetitive things, our memories just gloss over the experience and they barely register–making time speed by. That and the other things I mentioned are all part of it. But if you’ve managed to make your days flow as a child that will surely end up not only slowing down time, but enriching your each and every day. How good is that? ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – I agree with other readers about the timeliness (pardon the pun) of this post. Just prior to reading this post, I saw a school bus and wondered where in the heck summer had gone. Your reasons for time speeding up as we age make great sense!
Hi Donna! It is so surprising to me when FB shows us that we were up with you and Richard a year ago. It is both not that long ago AND yet seems like a long time! I guess it is important to remember that time is pretty fluid depending upon our memories of it. And NEVER to take it for granted! ~Kathy
That’s so true, Kathy. I believe that gratitude and not taking anything for granted are key.
Your ‘timing’ of why does time seem to fly by is perfect for after the summer. I noticed many people commented at the end of August to me “where did the summer go?”
And you answered a question I have been wondering about. I recently became aware of the days where I did a lot of different and new activities from my usual days that those days seemed to be that much longer in a good way. And that surprised me, because I was enjoying myself so much I would have thought they would have gone faster.
Have a wonderful September and look forward to your next post when you have ‘something to say!”……..
Hi Marnie! Yeah in some was it is a bit of a paradox because it sometimes feels that “time flies when you are having fun” but at the same time the days when something BIG and fun happens also seem to stretch out. I think that’s because the researchers point out that time attaches to our memories…and when we repeatedly do the same thing it doesn’t bother to “remember” the moments because they aren’t that special. Certainly something to think about as our days unfold huh? ~Kathy
Kathy I love your writing and thoroughly enjoy your blog. Because of you and Thom I now embrace ‘making it up.’ I agree time does seem to fly by and now (as a 69 year old youngster) it is even more important that I spend my time however I choose! Thank you and until next time.
Hi Amanda! Thank you! So glad you appreciate my topics. And I enjoy reading yours as well (although I’m not as good about reading and checking in as you are!!!) It’s also good to know that you get the idea behind “You get to make it up!” It has made such a difference in my life and it’s nice to know when it resonates with others! ~Kathy
#3 pressure *affects* how we experience time, surely? Sorry!
Hi Gordon! Never apologize for catching an error. And I always struggle with effect/affect as this one shows. Thanks for your help! ~Kathy
Interesting post and I appreciate how you outlined the reasons which all seem perfectly reasonable to me. So we can’t do anything about the ratio, but less pressure, more anticipation can help slow things down. But one thing still puzzles me. No matter what our age, or where we live (unless maybe Calif.) June, July and August go by faster than Jan., Feb. and March!
Hi Tom! Haha….maybe it is a California thing :–) Of course I didn’t mention the saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun!” But I think we all know that is true as well. Whenever we are deeply engaged in something (flow?) then time seems to go by quickly. The studies I read didn’t really mention that because that likely applies whether we are young or old. And I doubt any of of want to stop experiencing that sensation, right? ~Kathy
Thanks for everything you do. Your writing is so on target for me and my wife who are also retired and enjoy travelling.
Hi Charles! Thank you! I’m glad you are enjoying my blog AND traveling. I just checked out your blog and plan to read some of your thoughts as well. Always nice to find people to connect to! ~Kathy
Wonderful! So me! Thank You!