My father was a loving and kind man. He was also very opinionated, loud and overbearing when it came to talking about politics, religion or just about any subject he disagreed with. I can still picture my mom and my three sisters sitting silently at the dining table most nights as Dad pontificated on the topic du jour. Mom typically busied herself putting dinner on the table or quietly sat and self-medicated with a cocktail and a cigarette. Occasionally, my older sister Ann attempted to jump into the fray but was instantly shut down. Not only did she never get her point across, such attempts usually ended in tears. True to my nature, I seldom went toe-to-toe with Dad because I wanted us all to be happy. Most of all I wanted to be seen as the good girl, the good daughter. Fast forward 60 years.
I don’t know where I have been living the last 60+ years but I don’t ever remember hearing the statement “Do no harm but take no shit.” That was until I listened to an interview this week by author and Omega Institute Co-founder Elizabeth Lesser. I read her first book years ago but it’s her current one that has my interest. Titled, Cassandra Speaks—When Women Are the Storytellers the Human Story Changes. Not only does Lesser explain the background behind the Cassandra myth, she also explains why it is time for women to change the story of how power is thought of in the world. Because we all know (don’t we?) that whoever comes up with the story is in control of how it unfolds.
What is the Cassandra story? In a nutshell it is similar to one that some of us have lived. Cassandra was a beautiful young woman and highly desirable to both mortal men and gods. The Greek God Apollo found her so captivating that he bestowed upon her the gift of prophecy so he could win her over and have his way with her. However, when she still refused his sexual advances, he retaliated by cursing her. What was her curse? Even though she could foretell everything that would happen in life, with her family and her country—no one would believe her. Instead she was thought insane and pathetic. In the end, she was brutally raped and murdered without ever having been believed. While it thankfully isn’t usually that brutal, most women know the pain of what it feels like to not be heard.
Lesser thinks it is time to change the ending to that story. From what I can tell, the message in the book and her current lectures and interviews is that it is time for women to change all of the cultural stories that put women in an inferior position of power. Not only is that balance critical for women, it is also a benefit to men and a necessary step toward saving the planet itself. According to Lesser, it’s time to take the focus off of mankind and instead put it on humankind. Again, whoever controls the narrative of a story controls the outcome.
As Lesser points out repeatedly, the Cassandra story is just one where women are considered to be a gift to men and then somehow manage to screw things up. Think of the Adam and Eve story. Even if you consider yourself an atheist, nonreligious or practice another religion, that mythology still dominates our culture. The story is told that Eve came second and was given to Adam as a helpmate. Everything was perfectly wonderful until she listened to the snake (consistently believed to be wisdom) and tasted the apple. In other words, as commonly told, the fall of the universe was a woman’s fault and women have been trying to make up for that mistake ever since the story was originally written by men.
So even if you went to a happy little Sunday school like I did, imagine what that does to the psyche of young girls. Sure Jesus loves you and forgives you everything, but all human problems are your fault to begin with, so stop it! Stop exploring your wisdom. Stop your curiosity. Be polite, do what you’re you’re told, and stop being so loud—that is if you want to be a good girl, loved and valued. Oh, and have a few kids and take care of them while you’re at it.
Lesser does admit that things have changed, she has changed, but that we still have a long way to go. Don’t believe me? Just consider all of the women who have accused our current president of rape and sexual misconduct. There are twenty-six in case you lost count. And look what’s come out of that? Or consider Senator Kamala Harris, an amazingly accomplished woman and hopefully our next Vice President. However, I had a woman on Facebook tell me Harris was nothing more than a black woman in a Trojan Horse. How Cassandra-esque was that? As long as women are put in their “place” and complimented more on their color of their skin, their beauty and child-bearing abilities and less on their brains actions and natural instincts, the prejudice continues.
At the core of the issue is the stories we tell about power and the differences between what we value. We are all too familiar with the qualities we tend to admire in the male version of power—strength, control, dominance, and force. We build statues, give medals and applaud those that represent those ideals. Wars are fought to maintain them. But what if we equally admired connection, communication, compassion, adaptability, nurturing and yes, love? What if we built statutes that represented people—yes women—who demonstrated the power and value that women bring to the table? If you can’t imagine and admire anyone who fits that description, then you are a victim to a culture where masculinity is dominate. Even in the above photo (one of the few in the world where live women are portrayed) from San Juan where it was the women who literally saved the town from the British invasion, they still inserted a large man prominently in the statue.
So what about my story? Long after I left my father’s house I stayed silent—at least for me. I met, fell in love with a man who was also very vocal and opinionated but fortunately as I grew so did he. Looking back, he was as much a victim of our male dominated culture as I was. During the first years of our marriage I mostly let him talk and express his opinion while I hid behind cigarettes just like Mom. But when I finally quit smoking 10+ years later, I warned him. From that point forward I knew that once I no longer had something to placate me, I would have to start speaking up and out. And I did. Fortunately for our relationship, Thom was (and has always been) my greatest cheerleader.
Still it’s been a long road and I am not nearly as far as I eventually hope to be. Just this week a male friend challenged something I wrote on Facebook with both gaslighting and mansplaining. It doesn’t really even matter what he said, but now that I have found my “voice,” my first reaction was to be defensive and want to strike back and retaliate. That’s when I remember the line, “Do no harm but take no shit.” What that means to me is that even when people are doing things I disagree with or don’t like, I don’t have to react in a learned aggressive manner. In other words, I want to be able to be clear and set boundaries without starting a fight. As most women know instinctually, there are better ways to deal with disagreements or conflicts other than annihilating the opposition. Taking a more nonviolent approach to communication may be considered “soft,” but I believe our world needs it now more than ever.
So as I age I am learning how to hold the many paradoxes that exist in us all. How can I be kind without being a pushover? What does it look like to be strong and vulnerable simultaneously? How does strength with softness coexist? How can I speak my truth without putting others down? What does it take to be a nurturer and a provocateur at the same time? Can I be authentic and true to myself without fear of other people’s judgements? Can I say no to other people when I really want to without fear of reprisal? Is it possible to go against my cultural conditioning and be who I came here to be? So many questions—but isn’t it time to start looking for answers? As the Black Lives Matter movement shows, it is impossible to change the story if you aren’t even willing to ask questions about its existence in the first place.
As a woman I long for love and connectivity but I no longer want to pay the price of silence or acquiescence in order to be accepted. Thankfully I’m married to a man that is growing along-side me and one that accepts the paradoxes that I/we live with as we go through life. Like Lesser, I agree that our world is struggling with challenges in the death throes of a dying culture. So many things are changing and it is likely that the SMART course forward is changing the story of women and the awareness that it will take both men and women to save humankind.
Hi Kathy. Like you, in my birth family, my dad was very outspoken and forceful about his opinions and loved to pontificate at the dinner table. However, my mom, a very smart and analytical woman, did not sit quietly by listening passively. She engaged him, which led to many very lively discussions at our dinner table. As we got older, my three younger brothers and I jumped into the discussions too.
I came to realize that my dad really valued my mom’s perspectives and often put forward extreme positions in order to elicit mom’s rational counterarguments. Many times, I overheard him in social situations with other adults discussing the same topics, but using the arguments my mom had put forward, as if they were his opinions! (My mom, who was very introverted, rarely spoke up in social situations, although that changed too as she became older).
From that, I learned that my dad really listened to my mom and learned from her, despite his bombastic, opinionated style. Unfortunately, my brothers did not learn the same thing. Their take-away was that it was okay to bluster and talk over women.
As a woman who had a career in education and leadership, I can say that, sadly, even now, women’s perspectives and skills are rarely valued equitably with men’s in management settings.
Jude
What a powerful and insightful post. I’ve bookmarked it to revisit and continue digesting. As a woman in her early forties, I feel like I’m just waking up to how much I’ve been conditioned–and how important it is for me to recognize and address it as I raise my children, especially my 6yo daughter. Like many of your other readers, I think “do no harm but take no shit” will be a new mantra for me. It is such a hard line to walk at times, but I’ve found that, like so many other things, it is slowly getting easier with practice and as I take the time to listen to and become familiar with my innermost thoughts and feelings. I cannot and should not engage in every petty argument or person flinging dismissive or inflammatory comments or actions my way, particularly those who only seek to distract and exhaust me and others, but I am building boundaries, and am justified in firmly defending them. And the only way the world’s many injustices will be addressed is by people not only awakening to them, but naming and actively speaking and acting against them. It’s hard to do that and be a “nice girl” at the same time. Thank you for this inspiration!
Hi Laronda! Welcome to SMART Living 365. And I agree the path to being true to yourself isn’t easy but it is ultimately the only one that really matters! Good for you for recognizing that as early as you have had. And surely that will be a wonderful role model for your daughter as all. Building boundaries is a VERY good way to “practice” while doing what you can to help correct issues in our world. So much of life is a paradox–recognizing the need to establish boundaries while doing our best to be kind, being true to ourselves and yet learning to navigate the circumstances of the world, doing no harm but taking no shit. But I can’t help believe that the better we get at it the better I lives will go. Thank you for your thoughts on this and good luck! ~Kathy
I don’t have as many words as you all, but yes, “so many things are changing and it is likely that the SMART course forward is changing the story of women and men.”
Hi Gary! I supposed I do use a lot of words to say something fairly simple much of the time. But what’s the saying, “Writers write what they need to hear AND what we need to say.” Thanks for “listening Gary. ~Kathy
Imagine a world dominated by women, societies ran by them – how different that would be. There’s no way men would be treated the way they treat us. Aaah… Power and wealth mean different things to both sexes.
Growing up in my generation, I don’t remember much favoritism or advantages towards boys vs. girls. Except by one of my granddads. 🙂 But, underneath the surface, there were differences and there still are, which doesn’t make sense to me at all and I’m not even a feminist!
As a teenager, I was very vocal. I’ve always had my own opinion (and the desire to share it). This led to spankings by my parents, scoldings by teachers, and even bad grades at school. When you speak up, you get things done, though. What’s that quote “Quiet women never made history”, or something like that? You’re better with quotes than me, Kathy!
All that being said, I am getting quieter with age and often think “Who needs all this” when it comes to social media and arguments…
Hi Liesbet! I also like to imagine what it would have been like to be taught (or modeled) ways to have conversation where you disagreed in a way that still was able to stand firm without being ignored or going over that edge. I have taken a couple of communication courses like Nonviolent communication and I find them helpful but I need practice! And while I agree that conversations, especially on Social media are pretty crazy right now, I still feel that we are at a critical time so I’m doing my best to balance what I believe needs to be said with my sanity! Thanks to all my friends who support me anyway! ~Kathy
I agree. Although sometimes I feel like I am not being heard, I don’t think of it as political. The political comment was unnecessary.
Hi Janet! Thanks for chiming in here and being “heard.” Surely the freedom to do that is what my post is all about. And as a wise person I know told me years ago, when it comes down to it, everything is political. Of course you have to accept that politics by it’s original Greek definition relates to “the set of activities that are associated with making decisions in groups, or other forms of power relations between individuals, such as the distribution of resources or status.” And that really speaks to what Elizabeth Lesser talks about. That distribution of power, resources and status is something that has been lopsided and overtaken by the male version for centuries. And while we tend to separate politics into something that women (not to mention many people–think of the dismal voting percentages in our country) I’m guessing that our perception of politics needs to be rethought as much as our perception or women and our power and lack thereof in the future. Hmmmmm…maybe another blog post about that??? ~Kathy
Very intriguing. I recently saw Hamilton, which has the song about “who tells your story”. The story is told by the “winner”… which for most of recent history has been the white male. I think some of the “other stories” that are emerging now are wonderful and add a richness to the history. (I also saw somewhere that Hamilton could also be considered Eliza’s story. It’s not called Alexander. )
I think I’ve become less vocal as I’ve retired. Of course, I worked in a company that was trying hard to be inclusive, and made many changes through the years with that focus. Yes, it was still a battle as a woman in a man’s dominated job, but over time it became easier to voice an opinion and not have it be discounted because I was a woman. And I was an expert in my field and recognized as one.
Outside of work, I don’t feel the same level of expertise. So it’s hard to speak up and have an opinion. Yes, it is something I need to work on.
These days so much makes my skin crawl and I wonder if things will change. The divisiveness, the lack of respect (especially for expertise and science!), the willingness to accept bad (immoral) behavior, the rudeness. Would things be different if more women and minorities were involved in things? I would hope so. But it takes time to make those changes. Even at my Company, it took years before we saw real changes….. I recall overt harassment, unintentional bias, being called technically incompetent (which was because I was a woman). It took years for things to shift.
Strong women are still looked down on by too many people. But I am hoping that we will continue to see them trying to change the world. (And I know I voted for many of them just recently – our local ballot had an amazing number of women running.)
Hi Pat! Yes, I remember that bit from Hamilton too and I’m seeing that idea pop up more and more in things I read. Hopefully it will make the subject more and more obvious in the days ahead, but like you say, change seems to be happening very slowly…but when you think about it BIG change usually does…until something happens that makes it shift (often dramatically.) I’m thinking of what black people have had to endure for eons and realize that even when you make progress then there is still such a long way to go. But what’s the alternative? We must keep moving forward. And what’s the saying, two steps forward, one step back? I think we’ve been in the “backstep” for a while now and hoping that the next few years are at least two forward. ~Kathy
Great post, Kathy! I saw that Facebook post and appreciated that you called that guy out (I know it must have been especially hard if he is – I almost wrote “was” – a friend). I don’t think most men are even aware of how they sound. They are so used to being listened to and their ideas/opinions not being questioned. How much more rich our world would be (to say nothing of individual relationships) if both genders received the same respect. Sadly, it’s not only some men who are threatened by strong women, but I’ve seen resistance put up by women too.
Hi Janis! I was curious about whether any of my friends saw that exchange on FB or not. 🙂 I agree that many men aren’t aware of their words–of course I recognize that FB or online is a difficult place to talk about opposing subjects. (With the person in question we actually moved the discussion into a private message where it has somewhat continued in a less confrontational manner.) I also agree that men are often trained to just speak without being questioned and even when they are, they are conditioned to just talk over us when and where they want to–and again, they often don’t even realize that is happening. It’s sort of similar to the idea of BLM and systemic racism. As a white person in the U.S. I am becoming more and more aware of how I’ve been so conditioned by my privilege that is very difficult for me to see it. So I try not to blame men for their communication style any more than I blame us for our past blind prejudices. I just think it is time for both of those issues to be more equitable and YES, like you say, our world will surely be more rich because of it. ~Kathy
There goes that goddamn Cheetah! Rock on, and take no shit! Love it.
Hahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh Ezme! Yep, I guess you could say she is running free these days. ~Kathy
Great post Kathy! Although Amy Coney-Barrett is no RBG nor should even be considered in the middle of an election right now in my opinion, I just bristle when the president calls her Amy, and says things like Amy is doing great! Of course his other appointees were never called by their first name!
Hi Haralee! Thanks for pointing out how so many of us are subtly condescended to in our culture. Unfortunately we’ve become so conditioned by it that the obvious slur is often overlooked. Or how about when we are lumped together as “girls?” I am watching the show Mrs. America on Hulu right now and what is often even more distressing is when women both overlook OR agree with it and refused to even acknowledge the problem. Have you seen the show? I’m not done with it but it is so fascinating to see what so many women went through to fight for our rights back in the 70s and the opposition they faced then. Sadly we are still facing a LOT of it right now. ~Kathy
This reminds me of a speaker story many years ago (I am a recently retired RN). We happened to be a 100% female audience at this small local conference.
Ladies, there is one reason to get your PhD or Doctorate in Nursing. It is to look a Medical Doctor in the eye and make HIM call YOU Doctor 😉 She was a spitfire to her full height of 59 inches!!!!
She did just that at a legal arbitration process between she and a Medical Doctor. in the introductions the MD introduced himself and said “I know Jane, she doesn’t need to introduce herself.”. I am Dr Jane xxxx and I will be addressed as Dr xxxx”.
I love her!
Disregarded to be sure. I went to buy myself a new car in 1991. Salesman’s first comment “Where is your husband?” EXCUSE ME?????? It didn’t go well for him.
Thank you for the thoughtful discussions, you and your readers.
Hi Elle! Oh GREAT examples! Isn’t it funny how we are called “girls” all the time while men get to be called “men” rather than boys? Our language is filled with so many references we can even spot because we are so used to them. I remember a long time ago when we went to a new bank to open a checking account and I told them I wanted to be the primary name (because I handled most of the paperwork anyway) and they had to “check” to see if that was allowed. We have surely come a long way but there is LOTS of evidence–especially today after the election, that we have a very long way to still go. ~Kathy
Thank you for another well-written, thought-provoking post, Kathy. I am grateful to have been raised by a mother who has lived your title philosophy Still, I have lots to learn in this regard. Getting there!
Hi Donna! Knowing you I know your mother is an exceptional woman. But as you say, there is always more to learn. Isn’t it great to recognize that we are making progress? ~Kathy
Another insightful shared message, thank you! I was fortunate to grow up in household with a strong Mother who unfortunately passed away at 42 yet with 5 brothers and 1 sister and hired help to raise us, our Father encouraged my Sister to be independent along with the boys. We are all over 60 now and blessed to have each accomplished careers. Count me lucky to have always “spoken my mind” which should be the case for all women….God created us equal.
Hi Rita! How fortunate that you were raised in a family that allows to speak your mind. I tend to think that is a bit different than being independent though, because I WAS raised to be independent but never learned another form of communication where I could say what I needed to say in a way that worked. For example, if I (or my mom or my sisters did object to what something Dad felt passionate about, we allowed ourselves to be drowned out by the noise and often ended up crying (out of frustration and anger at not being heard.) I carried that model into my marriage and when I disagreed with something Thom said or did or whatever, I didn’t know how to get my point across without getting mad. Like I mentioned in the post, both of us are vocal and his training was to drown me out. My training was to get angry and frustrated and then often end up crying. My crying triggered all kinds of family dynamics in him. Then we both ended up feeling like crap. Obviously that wasn’t an effective way to communicate. Thankfully he has learned to listen much much better, and I have learned to attempt to communicate my thoughts without allowing my emotions to hijack the conversation. Of course we have being practicing for almost 44 years and still love each other deeply so that helps! Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
I’ve been enjoying your positive blogs for some time. I am fortunate to have been married for over 40 years to a soft and gentle, kind man who has taught me how to appreciate and listen more to others of all persuasions. Sadly you’ve inserted partisan politics into your blog and that is a big turn off.
Hi Cheryl. Thank you for following my blog. It is appreciated. However, after 65 years I am doing my best not to alter what my heart and soul tells me to do to please other people. And yes, I recommend that everyone do what they too feel called to do in these times. After all, the future is not something I want to take for granted. ~Kathy
And more examples- all of the questions during the judicial hearings- How do you manage your job and raise your children? Who does the laundry? I am not in favor of the candidate, but I still am offended that these were questions that were considered important during the hearings!
Hi Michele! So right! Imagine asking those same sort of questions to the men? Unfortunately if we are paying attention the examples are everywhere. I think it is going to take more and more of us women to wake up and question our place in the world and decide if that is the world we think is possible in the future. As has been said, men have been running things for a LONG time and look where it has gotten us. I’m not saying I don’t agree that men offer valuable insights and contribution, but when it comes at a cost of what women offer (not just in the home, families or the bedroom) then our world will surely be better. ~Kathy
What a great and insightful article. Thank you!
Hi Deb! You are welcome sister! This is surely my lesson to work on in these times. Thanks for your ongoing support. 🙂 ~Kathy
GREAT post, Kathy! So much is coming home to roost in today’s world, and we women are long overdue our (unquestioned) place at the table (I know I’m mixing metaphors here, but you get my drift). It’s difficult to not react with anger when we’re talked down to/mansplained, dismissed or ignored. I think “do no harm but take no shit” will become my new mantra.
Hi Roxanne! I so agree that it has taken my anger to get me REALLY motivated to push back over the years. But I’m trying to change that. I know that using anger and violence against others usually just insights more of the same. But being firm and confident is my target. Lesser points out how we can stay true to our feminine nature but we need a much stronger backbone so we don’t become pushovers. IMO much of the problem has come about because we have so few role models about how to do that…unfortunately the ONLY time that Mom spoke up to Dad was when she was really angry. Of course to make things worse it REALLY DIDN’T MATTER! She seldom won. I think women like Kamala, and other women like her, will be examples for us all moving forward. ~Kathy
I’m reminded of this book that a sage friend introduced to me. “The Chalice and The Blade: Our History, Our Future is a 1987 book by Riane Eisler. The author presents a conceptual framework for studying social systems with particular attention to how a society constructs roles and relations between the female and male halves of humanity.” (from Wikipedia). In this 21st century, it’s becoming very apparent that history could be rewritten depending upon who tells the story. Ask the women or the Indigenous person to tell his/her story. I divorced an overbearing man 30 yrs ago. He was reading the “riot act” to me one day and I said I’m not arguing with you. “Good,” he said, “this is how it’s going to go.” I had to remind him quietly that I wasn’t going to argue with him (I”d hired a good lawyer for that!) but I wasn’t prepared to do what he said anymore. Do no harm but take no shit.
Hi Mona! I remember that book and think I read it. (Ha! Isn’t that the problem with reading tons of books as time goes by?) And I completely agree that history (herstory?) would be completely different if written by women –or even just written from a more objective point of view including everyone involved: i.e. native Americans, black Americans, Hispanic Americans, women, LGBTQ, the list goes on. And I applaud you for having the courage and fortitude to stand up to a man that didn’t honor and respect you over 30 years ago. I confess that the lesson I learned about that from my mom was to NOT follow her example. I NEVER wanted my relationship to be like hers. Hopefully there are more and more of us who have decided that no marriage is better than a bad marriage. And if we are fortunate, we find one that let’s us grow into the person we can be. ~Kathy
I love this, Kathy. As a questioner unwilling to settle quietly for status quo, often told by other women “I just don’t think about things like that” or “I just let my husband figure that out” or more recently “I’ve never seen racism in my circles” I’ve often felt like screaming ! I definitely was not raised by a passive mother which I’m grateful for and my dad was her best friend and cheerleader. But I’ve personally pushed down so much anger, even rage, at the way I’ve had to hold my tongue as I tried to advocate for change or people I love, be a good girl to find belonging, moderated my knowledge and wisdom to not rock the boat or trigger someone’s defensiveness, etc.
I’m happy to hear Thom chose to grow with you. My husband has too though there have been rocky moments; we both have had lots to learn in terms of vulnerability, self-compassion, and emotional intelligence.
Hi Krista! Thank you. Like you said, it is difficult to be a questioner in a world surrounded by so many people who are “comfortable” and often numb to what seems to be happening all around us. But I do believe in change. Look at me! I did come from a passive mother and still I was able to become who I am today and find a man who supported my growth (as I hope I do with him as well.) But sometimes I know for me that I’ve HAD to get either so angry or fed up that I just can’t take any more so I do finally reach deep inside and say what needs to be said OR do what I believe needs to be done. I also think my age is helping me too. I’m getting REALLY tired of doubting myself. In the past even if I would push back I would usually double think and question whether i did it right or how it would be taken. Wouldn’t they still like me, would they still love me? I’m finally realizing it REALLY doesn’t matter to the other person, but it does matter to my soul. Time to change that too! Has that been your experience too? I believe it helps me to recognize where I’m doing it (especially with people I care about) and then decide if the “price” is worth it.
And in any relationship it isn’t always easy. Thom and I are both now very vocal people and sometimes we have what we call “vigorous discussions” about things that matter. When you grow up together there are plenty of areas that we need to work on, right? But aren’t we fortunate to have a built-in best friend to do that with? Thanks for your thoughts on this. ~Kathy
I wholly agree! We need new stories. We need to rewrite history and tell herstory. We need new archetypes. I’m reading a book you might be interested in called “Burning Woman” by Lucy H. Pearce. She sorts out a few new archetypes (which aren’t really new at all).
For you to write about this subject at this time really speaks to me. I’m not sure if it’s the Tara practice I spent a month with or what, but my patience with sexism, misogyny and patriarchy as at an all time low. I often have to remind myself of men like your husband, just so to keep my anger in check!
He’s a good one, and I know there are more like him; I wish there were a LOT more like him.
Hi Jamie! Thom looked up that book you recommend on Amazon and said we should buy it and read it! Looks interesting. And I agree that it seem particularly difficult these days to simply ignore all the sexism, misogyny and patriarchy these days because so much of it is in our faces. But perhaps that is the gift of these times? I know I have been to complacent on many things that are no longer acceptable to me so perhaps all that is happening in our country is what is needed to wake many more women up and help “midwife” the change. And yes it definitely helps to know men that are equally distressed by the same things and doing their best to support our growth and change. I count myself fortunate every day. ~Kathy
Just about every day I fantasize about a world in which women are running things instead of men. Using feminine wisdom and values instead of the Patriarchy’s. It might not be perfect but damn, it would be refreshing!
Deb
Hi Deb…I too fantasize about a world in which women are running things. The world would be a more loving and peaceful place.
Hi Deb! What a good thing to fantasize about 🙂 Of course Lesser did point out in her lectures that I listened to, she isn’t calling for a complete reversal. She doesn’t suggest “Womankind” to replace mankind. She more a both/and kind of person rather than an either/or. I do tend to agree with her but yes! Wouldn’t it be refreshing to see how it would go? Surely it couldn’t be worse than much of what we see? Hopefully change is coming! ~Kathy
Your photo taken in Puerto Rico made me smile, Kathy. I think it has come up recently in discussions how women in power lead differently and change the story and the outcome. Also, the concept of showing emotions such as kindness, empathy, tears, is not a sign of weakness. And yes, we still have a long way to go. And yes, “do no harm but take no shit.”
Hi Erica! Lesser actually made a point of how women usually do lead differently. She mentioned Ardern in New Zealand and Merkel in Germany and how their approach to COVID-19 was both a life-saver to their citizens and had a relatively lower economic cost that other countries…especially the U.S. Women do lead differently and until we get a more predominant place at the table we are missing out on the enormous benefits we can offer to the world. I can’t help but believe a step in that direction is for more of us to claim our power and support each other on the path. Thank you for being one of mine 🙂 ~Kathy