It may have appeared to those who followed along with my recent travels that I was experiencing the trip of a lifetime. Several people even stated that in comments to my posts here on the blog and on Facebook. But honestly, “It wasn’t.” Sure, the trip was great in so many ways, but in my opinion I hope to never experience a trip of a lifetime. That’s because I intend to keep experiencing trips that are amazing and hopefully better. Plus, even though I tried to be honest about a few of the challenges that popped up during our 90 days of travel, lots of things happened along the way that were completely unexpected. Isn’t that how it is in life? What’s the saying, “No matter where you go, there you are.” And I’d add to that, “No matter how well you plan or hope, stuff happens!” So, in reflection I thought I’d mention a few thoughts that could benefit us all (me!) when “stuff happens” in our future—regardless of when or where they happen. And if you have a few practices that work for you, I hope you share them in the comments below.
Of course, with all that said, I did do a lot of planning for this trip. In fact, I started over six months before we left. I did it because I happen to love travel planning. Plus, the fact that it was a three-month trip with LOTS of movement between three countries. There was too much to leave to chance. With that said, stuff still happens. Here is a bit of that stuff.
1) Even when you think your plans are perfect—things can change. Throughout our trip we were aware that airlines were cancelling flights and luggage was being lost. However, because we were staying put for so long, we refused to worry about things we could not control or time. So, two weeks before our return flight home we received an email about our flight saying the 1st leg of our three-legged flight home had been canceled. It would be impossible to make the other two flights. It might have been easy to panic—especially when flights the day before and several days after were also cancelled. What did we do? Rather than try to figure it out on my own (or even try to call) I got on an internet chat with Delta. And over three days and about 3-4 hours of “chat” I was able to rebook all three flights so we could get home. And yes, our luggage made it too.
Note to Kathy: Panic does no good. The first step is always to keep breathing then to accept the “isness” of the situation. Next step is to proactively take the best steps you can think of to repair the situation. Oh, and expect for things to work out. That always helps!
2) No matter how wonderful you think your home-for-the-night will be—there are too many unknowns to expect them to be perfect. I actually tend to pour over the reviews and offerings of several websites before booking but sometimes I am surprised—especially when staying in a total of eighteen different places! Like with the property in Maratea which from the website was stated to be a luxurious villa. While the view of the sea from the 2nd floor patio was absolutely amazing, the house itself was very dated. Of particular were the bathroom fixtures straight out of the 70s. Remember when dark brown was considered very trendy? To make matters worse there was a step down from the bathroom into the hallway that made every time you visited the bathroom a risk of breaking your neck.
Or don’t even get us going on “tight” parking spots (if there is parking at all!) dinky elevators with warnings to carry your cell phone and water just in case, or tiny Ikea kitchens making cooking a real challenge.
Note to Kathy: What to do? Be thankful for the good—and let go of the rest! Keep your expectations about any property you rent reasonable (and a good sense of humor!) Oh, and watch where you step when entering/exiting the bathroom in the middle of the night! And remember to have your cell phone with you at all times!
3) No matter how much you plan, chances are you will overlook something (REALLY) important. About halfway through our trip I realized that I had neglected to take enough of one of my (critical) prescription drugs with me to last the entire trip. Yikes! Unfortunately, after spending days on the internet trying to find replacements, I learned that my drug was not available in all of Europe. Double yikes! Then Thom made the radical suggestion that we have a friend back home ship (through Fed-Ex) the drug I needed. Oh, and did I mention you are not supposed to ship drugs to other countries? Thom’s solution was to put the pills into one of my books and ship the book. Yes, it did cost money (but far cheaper than flying home to replace them.) And yes, the “book” made it through customs and with the help of another friend in Italy, I was able to get my needed medication.
Note to Kathy: ALWAYS double check your medication before leaving the country! Plan for extra when something is critical. And be as creative as necessary when faced with a dilemma. Oh, and again expect things to work out even when it’s a “Yikes!” situation.
4) When something unexpected happens, ask yourself “What story am I telling myself about this?” For example, because we had rented a car, I spent a lot of time trying to find a place near the Amalfi Coast where we could park it during our stay. Plus, Thom and I like to have a view if possible. In addition, we prefer to stay in places that are somewhat open and not crammed in with other properties. I thought I found one until the directions on how to get there got VERY confusing. The owner couldn’t give me an exact address (should have been a clue) and said he’d meet us at a nearby location. When we arrived, we headed up a very narrow one-car road with LOTS of blind curves. At one point he asked us to pull over and said he would drive us the rest of the way. Hmmm… Sure enough, the rest of the road was even more narrow. And no, it wasn’t an easy stroll to and from our now parked car. We were up at the top of a small mountain with no access to the town or services.
None of this had been disclosed in the “summary” of the home so I was completely surprised and not happy. The landlord showed us around the house—and it had some great qualities, but parking onsite was not one of them. After he left, I was nearly in tears. How on earth would we be able to do anything, go anywhere or even buy food for dinner? The next day, we drove to a market and then attempted to drive up to the house ourselves, scrathing the side of the rental car. Again, tears were very close. What did we do? We asked the landlord to help us. We explained we needed transportation up and down the mountain and surprisingly he agreed. He came up three days in a row, drove us down to alternate transportation, and then when we returned, drove us home. It worked out even though I was originally convinced this was the worst rental possible.
Note to Kathy: If you use your imagination, even a bad situation can turn around. Of course, it helps if you have others to bounce ideas off and you are willing to be flexible. Our experience of the Amalfi Coast turned out to be great AND we ended up with a great “story” to tell about it. Remember to ask yourself what story you want to tell about what is happening and what is a different way to tell it. We might not be able to change the circumstances, but we can always change our story.
5) Stay flexible and have the confidence that if the situation changes, things will still be good. If I’ve learned anything as I get older it is that staying flexible when traveling is a critical skill. During our trip Thom first came down with a bad cold topped by equally bad allergies (not COVID). Unfortunately, that meant we had to adjust our schedule and even missed a planned/paid for tour.
In my case, I can down with reoccurring UTI’s (sorry if that is TMI) but those definitely changed our plans on several different days. It also gave us the opportunity to experience medical care (doctors, labs, pharmacies) in two different countries. In all cases we got the problem resolved but again, it did cause us to miss out on several planned activities and excursions. As anyone with medical issues knows, managing health becomes a priority over entertainment.
Note to Kathy: We are all stronger than we think and more creative than we know. After dealing with medical issues during my last two trips, it’s good to know that no matter what happens, there are good solutions everywhere. Are they inconvenient? Yes. But let’s remember that things can and do happen at home. Are they easier at home? Possibly. But Thom has a great anonymous quote in his office that says, “It is not the easy or convenient life for which I seek, but a life lived at the edge of all my possibilities.” In other words, I would rather be dealing with a few life issues during my adventures than stay home and just play it safe. Knowing you can get through challenging experiences no matter where you are and no matter what you are doing is a life-skill I hope we all develop during our lifetime.
I’m sure in the coming days I’ll come up even more ideas of what I/we can do when faced with the unexpected, but these are some big ones in my opinion. But what about you? Do you have a SMART tip that you would like to share? What has worked for you in the past? Remember, life happens either here at home or on the road. But how we deal with them (or flow with them!) makes all the difference.
Hi Kathy, You are such a trooper. Roll with the punches and deal with what life throws at you. Good for you. The travels and times you and Tom have are amazing. I empathized with your medical challenges on your trip. But get this: when we went to Ireland for the first time so many years ago we had a car accident and I spent 10 days in the hospital with a cracked pelvis. But we survived and returned to that beloved country four more times. “That which does not kill us makes us strong!” Always enjoy your writing……..Kate
Hi Kate! Wow! sorry to hear about your accident but look at you! We can’t let those details hold us back from enjoying the time we have left. I’m trying to get caught up and back to writing but it is taking longer than I thought. Thanks for your encouragement and thoughts! ~Kathy
Kathy I have enjoyed your travels immensely. This article had me laughing, the car squished on the tiny road almost left me rolling on the floor. I would have had a natural fit if that happened to me!! I often find myself in a pickle and always say, “one day you will laugh about this.” In most cases when it is all over that turns out to be true. Welcome home you two.?
Thanks for sharing and yes we want to continue to have “exeriences of a lifetime”!
Hi Kathy, You remind how you can truly only summarize parts of your travels and highlight a few points. You make a great point how in travel and in life we can expect the unexpected. As you know, it is often the unexpected experiences that make for a good story. Your note about “keep breathing” made me smile. Scary about the elevators. The concept “flexible” is a great one for life in general. Sorry about the UTI’s. I have friends who deal with this and challenging, especially on vacations.
Thank you for sharing a great, informative post!xo
You know, one of the alternate subtitles I had in mind for Plunge was “Shit happens, even in paradise.” 🙂
As you can imagine, we have encountered many issues on our two-decade long travels worldwide. It’s all about being flexible and about not have (m)any expectations. But our experiences have little to do with accommodations, as we travel with our own means of transportation and sleeping quarters.
While some of your issues are serious, especially the health-related one, and I can understand the disappointment about being lodged relatively far away from the Amalfi Coast, your accommodation “flaws” need to be seen in perspective, like you two did. Different countries, different cultures, different priorities, different lodging facilities and fixtures. 🙂
Hi Liesbet! I am in awe of you and Mark and your ability to flow with life as you live so nomadically! After three months “on the road” we were ready to head home. And isn’t it all about “perspective?’ Like you said, “Different countries, different cultures, different priorities, different lodging facilities and fixtures.” Thom and I decided that any time you need a “brain challenge” (who needs crossword puzzles) to keep your brain young, just go on the road for 3 months! ~Kathy
Haha. I guess when you go by that brain logic, our brains must be challenged at all times! 🙂 Luckily, it doesn’t feel like that. But, I have said it before and I will say it forever – life on the road (and on the water) is challenging.
Your first point reminds me of the Dalai Lama quote — If a problem has a solution, no need to worry. If a problem doesn’t have a solution, no need to worry. Having said that, flight chaos would have put me right over my coping boundary. You are a travel warrior!
Second point reminds me of a John Lennon quote — Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.
Sorry, I don’t have a quote handy for the other points. But as with all your posts, I so admire your outlook on life. I enjoy your posts AND learn from them.
Hi Galen! What perfect quotes! I actually thought of including that John Lennon quote but the post was getting really long as it was. Thanks for doing that for me. And thank you for your statement about our outlook. As you say on your own blog, it isn’t always easy to live our highest knowings but there IS always a payoff when we do. Thanks for following along! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, I’ve really enjoyed following your travels on Facebook and here on your blog. We’re taking our 1st long adventure to Europe (though 1/3rd of the time you just spent there) next summer. I’m taking your lessons to heart as we continue planning. Thanks for sharing them all.
Joni
Hi Joni! I think a month is a great length of time. If we do it again we have talked about not going longer than two months because it was that third month that really seemed to be a lot. Also I we learned that next time we won’t move around as much. 18 moves in 3 months again was just too much. We don’t mind being gone from home (especially when it’s so darn hot–but all that moving was a taxing in itself. And because you are such a great picture taker and sharer, I’m already looking forward to your adventure next summer! ~Kathy
I’m sure we’ll have some time to talk with you & Thom to get your input on what the “must see” places are once we settle on & finalize our itinerary. I’m getting excited and I’m hoping the 11 months will seem to go quickly. (not that I’m wishing away any of what comes between now & then!) Thanks for “taking us along” & also for sharing your lessons learned.
Joni
Of course we’d love to talk it over with you. I enjoy talking about anyone’s travel any time! And thank you for following along!
Glad you made it home safe and sound. Sounds like a very interesting and exciting trip! Traveling for the first time since COVID presents its own set of challenges as you mentioned by the flights, luggage and having to figure things out mostly on the fly. And, you’re right, there are usually things that happen you didn’t plan for. I couldn’t agree more with you that being a problem solver is a super power :-).
I love the quote Thom has in his office, “It is not the easy or convenient life for which I seek, but a life lived at the edge of all my possibilities.” It’s so true and keeping it in mind definitely helps with expecting the unexpected.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, travels and tribulations along the way. And for passing on some great tips on things to watch for and how best to deal with them.
Hi Debbie! I know you are getting ready for your adventure soon and I hope some of my “tips” are a benefit. It DID make it a LOT more challenging with all the COVID restrictions and new airline issues and hopefully you will miss most of those too. But you’ll LOVE Portugal I’m sure and I can’t wait to hear about your trip myself. ~Kathy
Hmmm, I can see about three times when I would have panicked — the flight cancelation, the narrow road up the hill, the medical issue. So good for you. One thing that’s obvious: traveling is a good learning experience. Anyway … welcome home!
Hi Tom! So very true! Thom and I said about a dozen times that if you want to work your brain–take a self-guided travel adventure. It was like learning a new language (and yes there were three of them we were subjected to) just figuring out road signs (when driving) where to eat, WHAT to eat (it just doesn’t look the same in the store) and then what to do and experience. Now that we are home we are trying to rest our brains a bit!!! And yes, glad to be home. ~Kathy
Hi, Kathy – These are great tips for both travel and for life. I love your positive attitude, solution building and reframing. Very inspirational!
Kathy, in all our travels, we have never had a really terrible thing happen. (knock on wood) There have been disappointments, mishaps, and a few tears, but for the most part, we have managed to deal. Missing trains, getting on the wrong train, and taking a left instead of a right are commonplace for the two of us. We once went around a round-about four times in heavy traffic trying to figure out the exit. We weren’t laughing then, but today it’s funny.
Your landlord in Italy should have provided a scooter given the road conditions. Shame on him for not including that detail in the property description. Oh well, all is well. SMART thinking with the drugs.
Thanks for sharing your insights. We are off to Italy in three weeks. Praying the luggage arrives with us!!!
The most important thing to pack – wherever you go – is a good attitude. I’m sorry you had to deal with those challenges but happy they turned out okay, or at least manageable. Since you rely on reviews when choosing a place to book, I’m curious what type of review you leave when faced with less than expected accommodations (perhaps a topic of discussion next week).
Hi Janis! Yes nicely said. Attitude is critical. And like Ann said in her comment, overall the stuff that happened to me/us really wasn’t horrible by any means. And we are fortunate that we had the resources to take steps to make it all work out okay.
As far as reviews go, I reviewed every single place we stayed at on one of three booking agents I used: Airbnb, VRBO or Booking.com I do my best to point out the good things about every property (and there WERE good things about every property) but I also mention the “Cons.” If it is something that I think I would have liked to know before I arrived I mention it. I also try to word it in a way that it is a “suggestion” for the landlord or one of my personal preferences. For example, some people might really like squishy beds, me not so much. 🙂 I wish everyone would love an “honest” review when they stay somewhere. There would be a lot less surprises if people did. ~Kathy
Was this your first trip to Europe?
Was this your first trip during a pandemic?
Stuff happens at home.
Do you like adventure? What is an adventure for you?
What did you hope to get out of a trip of a life time?
Do you really like travelling?
Given the chaos the world is everywhere including here, you didn’t encounter so many bumps in the road.
Just goes to show that we all need to be good problem solvers these days, no matter where you go. Even staying at home.
Note to self. Expect the unexpected. That is the new Right Size!
Hi Ann!
We’ve actually been to Europe a half-dozen times or so but never for three months. But it was a FIRST since COVID so that made it stand out. And yes, adventure is my middle name.
Plus you are so right…overall we really didn’t have that much trouble compared to some stories I’ve heard about and read. I consider us to be VERY fortunate (not to mention privileged) to have been able to go in the first place. I definitely agree that being a problem solver is a super power…and expecting the unexpected IS rightsized! Thanks for your thoughts on this! ~Kathy
Excellent life advice! Thanks for sharing… and again, thanks for sharing your trip with all of us!
Hey Deb! Glad you enjoyed reading about my “lessons.” They will come in very handy when you take your next big trip as well. ~Kathy
I have never been a “drug mule” before. :). Glad I was able to help. Traveling is not for the faint of heart. . . And ALWAYS rent the smallest car in Italy. Love my Fiat Panda. XO
Hi Cheryl! hahaha…yes you are a very cute “drug mule” and really helped me out in a crunch. Thank you again and YES to renting the smallest car possible! ~Kathy
Good to have you safe at home and wiser from your travels. Did not follow your adventures for a variety of reasons…. mostly my own travels… but have enjoyed reading what you’ve learned from your experiences. Thank you for your candor and your insights and being you!
Hi Ezme! Thanks for staying with the blog even though I took a departure from my usual topics. I always “wondered” about being a travel writer…now I know it’s not something I’d choose to do. (Much more fun to just travel huh?) But as usual I DO like to analyze and evaluate what I’ve done and what I’ve learned so those are often my favorite kind of posts. Just grateful that some of you like to read those as well. ~Kathy