Have you ever wondered how some people seem to get crankier the older they get? Have you ever worried that you might become one of them? Ever since we began staying in a 55 or older community, I have noticed that a few people seem downright cranky at their age. Luckily, the vast majority are friendly and kind but there are still a few that you quickly know to avoid. How does that happen? Were they always that way? While I suppose some circumstances could lead to a person becoming justifiably cranky and disagreeable (like pain or loss) I think we likely have more choice in the matter than we know. Plus, lately I’ve come across some new insights that would likely contribute to the mindset—those come from what is called “collective illusions.” [Read more…]
Trade-Offs, Priorities & Choices
Our new lifestyle experiment.
During the last few months I’ve chatted with a few other bloggers who like me, have been blogging for a very long time. The question about whether to continue seems to be popping up a lot. And while I fully intend to keep blogging, others aren’t so sure. Obviously, the entire field is changing both with the millions of blogs flooding the market, the influence of AI, and podcasts becoming the new “thing.” But for those of us who feel called to write, it still offers a wonderful way to express. However, even with that there is the inevitable trade-offs, priorities, and choices. Do we spend our time doing one thing? Or do we do another? It doesn’t matter if it is writing a blog post or doing something else you feel is more important. Each of us needs to decide what takes priority today. The good news is that many of us have choices. The bad news is—many of us have (too) many choices! [Read more…]
Community and Companionship: Ajijic’s Recipe for Creating Friendships
Friends in Ajijic
One of the things I’ve enjoyed the most from our time here in Mexico is the amount of friendship we’ve generated in the last two months. Of course, while the local Mexican population here in Ajijic is friendly and accommodating, nearly all our new friends are expats like us. Sure, the area on the lake is beautiful, the town historically quaint and the weather temperate—all which obviously draws people to this location. But beyond that, Thom and I seem to have proportionally found more people to connect to here in this small town, and in a surprisingly rapid time period, than we ever do in other travels or back home in the U.S. Naturally that has me asking myself, what is it about this area that seems so conducive to easily finding and then encouraging such relationships? [Read more…]
Growing Whole While Growing Older & Wiser
Since turning 68, I’ve been increasingly interested in what it means to grow older in a vibrant and purposeful way. Much like my work with rightsizing, I see aging not as an inevitable loss or sacrifice, but instead as an opportunity to get to the heart of what really matters to each of us as living, breathing beings on this planet—and then sharing that with our community and the world. Plus, with so many of us nearing ( or at) retirement with many years to come, isn’t is SMART to recognize that making the most of those years seldom happens by chance? So instead of merely growing old and waiting for the unavoidable, we set the intention to learn what makes us whole and happy—and make the most of our remaining time on Earth. [Read more…]
Connecting With Others Through Meaningful Conversation
Our Wednesday Discussion Group here in Ajijic, MX
As I’ve shared before, I am (almost) always up for a new adventure. I like exploring and my curiosity about people and places guides me forward. But something I consider nearly as important to me is getting together with other people and talking about subjects that matter. Whether they are friends or just acquaintances, the opportunity to get beyond the superficial and connecting with my mind and heart is intoxicating. Surprisingly, this last week here in Mexico, Thom and I participated in three different discussion groups that left me feeling as full and satisfied as a gourmet five-course meal. That got me wondering if others feel the same way I do and if it is so gratifying, why isn’t it more common? [Read more…]
Power Surging in Mexico
As some of you know Thom and I are spending a couple of months in Mexico to escape the heat of the summer. Our location is the small town of Ajijic (elevation 5,046) located in central Mexico around 230 miles east of Puerto Vallarta. It’s monsoon season here so not only is everything green and lush, the weather is just about perfect. Ajijic is also on the edge of one of the largest and most scenic lakes in the country (Lake Chapala). We’ve rented a wonderful home with a pool (solar heated of course) that is a short walking distance to downtown and the Malecon (Boardwalk.) Town itself if stuffed with dozens of good restaurants, cute shops and very friendly people—expats and locals. Sounds just about perfect right? Well, it’s not. For one thing there are LOTS of mosquitos (remember all that green?) And for about a week we’ve been experiencing power surges on and off day and night which is more trouble than you might guess. But the thing is…in practically every single place in the world we’ve been fortunate to visit there is always something—call them power surges or not. In other words, stuff happens even in paradise.
Words as Wands: Creating Goodness or Chaos When We Communicate
Do you realize how much power we possess every time we open our mouth? Or what about when we post something on Facebook, NextDoor or any Social Media? And yes, it’s the same with our notes or emails. Every communication we have with others carries with it the ability to bring a smile to someone’s face and potentially lift their spirit. Simultaneously we have the power to create doubt, anger, distrust or even worse. While we usually can’t turn another person’s life around without their cooperation, we can, with the simple words we say or write, instantly shift the energy in a person or in a room. Let’s start remembering that the words we share with others are like a wand bestowing blessings or curses.
Solarpunk: Rewriting the Future with Hope and Innovation
I have been a big fan of science fiction my entire life. Back when I was a kid, I couldn’t wait to watch the latest episodes of The Jetsons, Lost in Space, Outer Limits and of course Star Trek. Recently, Thom and I agreed that one of our favorite rides at Disneyland used to be Carousel of Progress. In 1977, the year Thom and I met and married, theaters gifted us with the first Star Wars movie—and we saw it at least seven times that summer along with every sequel and prequel ever since. And let’s not forget books like Dune or everything written by Ursula K. Le Guin or Robert A Heinlein. I think the attraction is the mostly positive vision of life, people and worlds so creatively different—and yes, all wrapped around an adventure. To me, science fiction requires unlimited imagination and open-mindedness. If we can’t imagine something different and yes, impossible—how can we ever hope to create or achieve it? And now, a new sub-genre of science fiction called solarpunk raises that bar in optimistic and innovative ways.
Embracing Protopia: An Optimistic Path Toward a Better Future
It is said if you look long enough you will find what you are looking for—or it will find you. So, after a couple of months of not feeling inspired or excited to write much, I finally stumbled upon an idea that just won’t let go. Of course, that idea will take a while to completely unfold, but ever since I first heard it I felt captured and inspired by a new way of looking at things—a new way of looking at life. That idea is an optimistic protopia. What is protopia? It is the middle way between a dystopia or a utopia. It asks, will our futures look like a dystopian disaster where the planet and humans are fighting tooth and nail to survive? (Think of the movies Terminator or Mad Max.) Or will it look like a utopian dream where everything is perfect, all people are “perfect”, and nothing ever changes? Until recently no one really talked about a third alternative. A middle way. And that future is protopian. I’m guessing most people never even heard of it just like me. [Read more…]
How To Stop Caring for Others That Don’t Really Care For You
Like most humans I like people to like me. Since the beginning of time, we humans have learned that our survival is often connected to being part of a tribe. Then throw in the fact that 50% of us are women and often require others for safety and companionship, it makes sense. And while a large portion of us don’t live in an environment where we require physical security these days, our mental, emotional and spiritual Self craves a degree of connection and belonging. It is normal to want others to count on and care for us as much as we care for them. But do they? Not always. No matter how much I may want others to like me, be with me and do things with me—not everyone will. Admittedly, an ongoing area of my own personal growth is learning to accept letting go of caring for others that don’t really care for me. [Read more…]