I’m guessing that most of us are familiar with the saying, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice…practice…practice.” But what about the equally familiar saying that goes, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?” While doing something over and over again might look the same as practicing, I think we all know they are pointing out two different actions and mindsets. And from my way of thinking they explain the difference between a practice and a habit. Knowing the difference and consciously choosing one over the other is a SMART and mindful approach to living our intentions.
Last week a fellow blogger and friend wrote a blog post about parental financial planning in retirement. Much of the post seemed focused on what he himself had inherited and what he and his wife planned to leave their children upon passing. It’s probably no surprise that most of the people who left comments offered their version of same thing. The article got me thinking about my own life and how I see the issue differently. That could be because I have no children. But perhaps more importantly, it raised questions in my mind about the expectation of inheritance, as well as the need to address and consider how well any of us are prepared for those end-of-life experiences that none of us will avoid. Like so many other topics, I don’t have any answers but I think it is SMART for us to be thinking about and be willing to consider our own personal exit strategy for when the time comes. [Read more…]
This morning I listened to a podcast interview of author and speaker Adam Grant. I wrote a blog post about his latest book several weeks ago and he is still on my mind. What I appreciate most from that book is his challenge to “think again” about so many of my deeply held thoughts and beliefs—and to do it from an open, curious and humble position. What if instead of approaching the day like we normally do, we did it as though it really was the first day of the rest of our life? What if we threw out all our preconceived ideas about right or wrong and started fresh? What if we gave people the benefit of the doubt, trusting that most people are basically good? What if we were willing to admit that a lot of the time we don’t have the answers and are just trying to do our best? What if we gave other people the same consideration? Instead of ever thinking that I wish other people knew more, did better or acted more like I think they should act—I decided instead to be the best kind of person I could be? What if we all did? Imagining what the world would be like from that space would be a very SMART thing to do.
If you are anything like me you’ve been staying home quite a bit since the Pandemic started. Even those of us who didn’t think it would last very long, eventually started seeking ways to distract and entertain ourselves during the last year. With the best of intentions, Thom and I still ended up watching far more television than I care to admit. However what makes that concession even more challenging is finding shows that we both want to watch. So why not share the best we’ve discovered in the last 12 months?
Right around March 1, 2020 I colored my hair for the last time. It wasn’t planned. I have been coloring my own hair for so many years now I can’t even remember when I first started. Fortunately because my hair was light brown to begin with, when gray started showing up back in my 40s it was easy to just go with lighter hair color—out of the box. I liked the way it looked, was pretty easy to do, and didn’t cost much. Why not? Then COVID 19 hit. About six weeks later when I would normally recolor it, I paused. Was it necessary to bother at all, at least until the pandemic was over? Now, 12 months later I am completely gray. With one vaccine shot in my arm and things looking better, the question is coming up again: Do I want to stay gray or go back to blond? Perhaps more importantly are the questions behind that question: Does gray hair automatically mean I look old? If yes, then what is wrong with looking older anyway—especially when I sort of am?
Looking back I realized I haven’t written about positive aging in nearly a year. Sure I believe it is still possible and highly desirable. However, nothing new presented itself that hadn’t been said before, or was compelling enough to share. Plus if I’m honest, my brain was more interested in just getting through the day/month/year, with all the upheaval in my life and the world, than it was to expand my thinking. Then a couple of months ago I was offered a book from a renowned French philosopher about aging that had me asking myself whether he might offer something new on the subject. Not only did the book have me rethinking some of my preconceived notions about aging and happiness, but it also required that I look up more words in the dictionary than I have in years. While I’m the first to admit I’m usually more attracted to pop-psychology, I’m fairly certain that continuing to stretch our minds and perspectives is one of the healthiest things we can do if we want to age in a positive way.
In another lifetime I am certain I would have become a social scientist. I love learning about why I and other people think and do things like we do. So naturally when I stumbled upon a new interview of author and Wharton Business School Professor Adam Grant, I couldn’t wait to hear his thoughts. Just to be clear, I haven’t yet read his new book Think Again—The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know. But I was so excited about his ideas from several interviews that I simply couldn’t wait to put some of them down on paper and share them with you. Call it cheating if you want, I like to tell myself I have yours and mine best interests at heart. Undoubtedly, that is just another example of how we can easily fool ourselves into believing what we believe is true for everyone. So yes, there is power in being willing to know you can’t be certain about those many things you think you know.
The short answer is YES! But I often find myself needing to explain why because so many people equate the idea of it with square footage. In reality, a rightsized life has little to do with size, and is instead about so much more. Then last week I had the opportunity to chat with Krista O’Reilly Davi-Digui about rightsizing during an interview for her YouTube Channel. Krista is the author/creator of the blog named A life in Progress (links below) and while we talked about rightsizing, we also talked about self-awareness, writing and living a values-based life. Afterwards I came to the conclusion that while we didn’t speak exclusively about rightsizing, all of those topics lead to what I consider to be a rightsized life. Sure many people are introduced to rightsizing by the thoughts of sustainability, getting rid of clutter and downsizing their living space—but once those are considered, the journey of a rightsized life continues on and is open to everyone at any age.
Ever since watching Amanda Gorman recite her poem The Hill We Climb at President Biden and Vice President Harris’s inaugurations, I have had poetry on my mind. I’m reminded of the simplicity and power that the right words can invoke with such emotion and inspiration. Because I was so taken by her, I was tempted to just provide a link to the video and reprint Gorman’s poem for us all to revisit. That was until Thom came across a poem written by the late John O’Donohue that also deserves to be remembered and absorbed. To me, his poem, For A New Beginning is a perfect poem for the start of a new year and a new era in our country. Besides that, his message echoes so much of what I consistently write here on SMART Living 365. I don’t know about you, but I welcome this new beginning for myself and the world.
I’ve never read The Divine Comedy otherwise known as Dante’s Inferno. From what I’ve heard it is difficult to understand or make much sense of, so why bother? That was until I read an interpretation offered by author Martha Beck in her soon to be published book, The Way of Integrity. While I’m unlikely to drop everything and rush out to get a copy of Dante’s classic, I have come to appreciate the metaphorical ideas and mystical inspiration that it contains. But perhaps more important, Beck uses it as a road map for meeting our inner selves and following a path to inner wholeness and ultimate wellbeing. And who couldn’t use a bit (or a lot) of that these days?