In 2019 I began a dream of traveling to Spain and Portugal for the first time. I’ve been fortunate to travel to Europe several times in the past but have never journeyed to either of those countries. I did my research, planned my itinerary, made all my plane and train reservations, and carefully selected all the places we would be staying. Then one month before we were set to leave, COVID hit. Fortunately, every single one of my reservations were refunded. Then as 2022 approached my dream began to return—but this time the plan is for an even longer trip. After all, if 2020 taught us nothing else, it was that time is precious and that it is SMART to seize every opportunity to do those things we have always longed to do. [Read more…]
Have you ever heard the saying, “If you aren’t outraged, then you aren’t paying attention?” After all, with all the suffering in the world right now, is the choice to stay calm and centered or happy the right response? How can we stay alert and aware of what’s going on in the Ukraine, with COVID, the climate crisis, rising food prices, etc. etc. and not feel motivated to respond with outraged action? Actually, there is another way. And that way is called the Tao. I was recently given an excellent reminder of that possibility when asked to review the book, The Tao of Inner Peace by Diane Dreher Ph.D. While I’m not exactly a stranger to the Tao, this book offered me clear instruction and insight as to why our inner peace is so very primary. And the more chaotic the circumstances in the world and in our lives, the more we need to access that inner peace. For it is only there that we can ever truly make a difference for ourselves and others. 
Last week Thom and I held a discussion group with friends. Our topic was to share any quotes that we felt had influenced our lives in a long-lasting and profound way. It was harder than you think because all of us love quotes and like me, had hundreds to choose from. Then I found it. My quote was one that I read in an old, old newspaper column by Ann Landers (I said it was old, didn’t I?) It meant so much to me I cut it out and saved it all these years. The fact that it was by one of my favorite authors, Ralph Waldo Emerson, made it even more special. But what has occurred to me since then was how it subtly influenced me all these years and how it became a tribute to what I hoped to be when I got older. I wonder how many of us take the time to consider the “messages” we absorbed when we were younger and how they continue to influence our lives. Did we become who we always hoped to be? 
Lately I have been absorbed with planning an extended adventure this coming summer. I enjoy the process of charting out where I want to go, where to stay and what I might want to do. But this morning I heard a great quote that reminded me of something that applies to not only our vacations, but our lives as well. That quote is by a philosopher named Alfred Korzybski who said, “The map is not the territory.” In other words, my “trip plan” is not the adventure any more than a menu is the meal. And while it might appear obvious that our “models” of situations, circumstances or reality are not the real thing—many of us unconsciously confuse the two and then forget we are forgetting! Remembering why it matters could clear up a lot of misunderstandings and disappointment in our world.
Twenty plus years ago I had a very close friend I’ll call Susan. Shortly after we met she invited me to lunch and I came right out and told her that while I knew a lot of people and had quite a few friends, I was really looking for a very close friend. Was she? In agreement, we then spent over five years talking, laughing, and sharing our lives. I felt closer to her than my own sisters. Then? She ghosted me. Of course, it wasn’t an immediate thing. I knew our circumstances had changes—that we had changed. The phone calls got shorter and fewer, and the times together dwindled. Sadly, it ended a slow death, and I never knew exactly why. I mourned that relationship for many years.
