A friend of mine is currently in the midst of selling her long-time family home and moving. Yet while I believe she “gets” the many benefits of rightsizing, I can tell after talking with her that several issues keep popping up that make her hesitant. That’s completely normal, because in many ways, rightsizing is contrary to what most of us have been taught. The good news is that once you know what to keep in mind, rightsizing not only becomes the easiest choice, it is also the one that leads to the greatest benefits.
What do we need to remember when it’s time to make a move?
1) Don’t rush to buy a home. This is particularly difficult if you’ve owned a home for as long as you can remember. It feels strange to rent because so many of us have identified and felt proud of ourselves as homeowners for so many years. However, the less a person has moved in the past, the more likely it he or she will stay in their next home for many years, and maybe the rest of his or her life. That’s why it is so important to take things slowly.
It is also likely that if you are selling a home and have a deadline to move it will seem very practical to only move one time—rather than live somewhere temporarily and then move again. Unfortunately, what usually happens is that you rush and then end up settling on a new home just so you don’t have to move again. If you remember that the next home you buy might be your forever home, it makes sense to proceed as carefully as possible.
Besides, as a person who has moved over 16 times during my marriage, has owned dozens of properties, and who has been a real estate broker for over 30 years, I can assure you that taking things slowly is likely one of the best things you can do. A big reality is that the home of your dreams might not even be on the market today, but if you wait several months it could be right around the corner.
So what can you do? One choice is to spend a great deal of time looking before you ever put your home on the market to sell. Another option is to rent for a while. Temporary housing is also available that comes furnished allowing you to put most of your possessions in storage. The last time Thom and I moved, we sold most of our furniture, put the rest in storage, and then stayed in a friend’s vacant second home for eight months while we shopped. Eventually, we found the right and perfect home and still live here five years later.
2) Weigh the benefits of renting vs. buying. Most of us in the baby boomer age category were raised believing that owning a home was equivalent to the American Dream. But what we may not have considered is that oftentimes the care, maintenance and unexpected costs of a home can make it more like the American Nightmare for some. The cost of ownership is easily about 25% higher, or more, than what most of us calculate. Renting can be the right choice if you aren’t 100% sure of the home (or the location), if you can rent for less than you can own, or if your future is fuzzy and you don’t know where it will lead.
3) Avoid buying a home as an investment. The best-selling book The Millionaire Next Door, clearly explains that a home with a mortgage is a long-term liability. It costs you to live there. On the other hand, an investment generates income. And although some people have made money in the past on a home they bought many years ago, a larger portion of the population lost money and even lost their homes when the economy tanked.
Besides, anyone who traditionally lives in a home for a long, long time should never consider what the home will be worth in the future. If this is your forever home, does it really matter what it’s worth? Instead, focus on what it costs to live there and the benefits it provides.
4) Don’t buy a home or anything you can’t easily afford. One of the greatest benefits of rightsizing is making the conscious choice to buy only what you can easily afford—especially a home. In fact, when Thom and I decided to go debt-free it was the best thing we did for our lifestyle. Even though we could have gotten another loan on a bigger house, we chose to compromise on a more compact dwelling in a neighborhood that fit our budget. In the end, we were able to obtain all the qualities in a home we desired making it the right and perfect place for us. Better to have freedom and peace of mind rather than extra square footage. We have not regretted our decision for a second in the last five years.
5) Don’t buy a home to store your “stuff.” One of the most common dilemmas I hear from people wanting to rightsize is that they don’t know what to do with all their “stuff.” Unfortunately, some buy a bigger house just because they can’t let go of everything they’ve collected in life. I strongly recommend that you decide whether your future and your happiness require that stuff—and then act accordingly. But please, please don’t buy a home just so you don’t have to face what letting go of it really means.
6) Don’t buy a house for your grandchildren. This is another pitfall I’ve seen grandparents fall into here in La Quinta, CA where I live. Because it is a desert community and swimming is popular, I know several grandparents who admitted they bought a bigger house with a swimming pool to entice the kids and grandkids to visit. Of course when family members do visit, they love the house and grandma and grandpa are happy. Sadly, those visits seldom meet expectations. Clearly that’s an expensive gamble just for infrequent possibilities. Instead, why not just rent a vacation home with a pool, if or when you can actually get a date with your family, and save yourself a tremendous expense?
7) Don’t buy where you’ve always lived just because you’re afraid to try somewhere new. I get it. Some people are worried that if they move away from their family or existing friends they will be lonely. However, if your heart has always craved living somewhere different like near a beach, mountain, desert, city, country, or anything else different, what better time to try? Why not just rent for a while? Try different places. And don’t think you have to move to another country either. By doing some research, you just might find a place that is far less expensive to live but offers you dozens of benefits you can’t get where you are. And yes, your family/friends will visit you there too. Then again, you might be so busy and having so much fun you won’t have that much time to miss them.
Bonus Tip: Stop caring what other people think of the home you decide to choose. If the new property meets your needs on as many levels as possible, then you’ve rightsized your home and that is what really matters. After all, isn’t your happiness and peace of mind more important than those who would judge you based on the price, size, location, or amenities of your home?
Remember, rightsizing is never about sacrificing. It is always about finding a place to live where you can be free to experience the life you’ve always wanted to live. Sure it takes some conscious deliberation and honest self-discovery, but the benefits will be more than you can imagine. By avoiding these pitfalls, the SMART choice is always to rightsize.
Photo Credit Flickr Creative Commons
Hey Kathy,
Before reading the article, I thought I knew all about the things we need to consider before finding a home. But, after reading your article, I did learn a thing or two. Great post.
I think you got a new regular reader on your blog now. Hope to see more from you!
Hi Carol! Welcome to SMART Living and thanks for your comment. Isn’t the internet great for sharing ideas and things we’ve learned along the way? Drop back by when you get the chance. ~Kathy
Kathy, I can see your years of real estate experience shining through here. These are great tips. I also read the Millionaire Next Door which in my opinion should be required reading for all young adults. I gave it to both my sons when they were in their late teens preparing to start out on their own.
I didn’t want to be a home owner again, I wanted the carefree life that comes with renting but after a series of bad landlords who failed to do upkeep and ensure safety for the tenants I decided I would become a homeowner again. I was fortunate in that I didn’t have to time my move around the sale of an existing home and took my time to find just the right property, it took months but it was worth the wait. The one thing I did was work with my son (a realtor and investor in properties) to find the right place then put the home in his name to avoid any problems should I become unable to stay in my home. If one has family they can trust this can be a good solution. We joke that this home will be his inheritance when I am gone. 🙂
As I’ve worked to right-size my life I’ve run into those who think they should tell me their opinions on my choices, it’s true, we need to ignore those people and follow our hearts.
Owning or selling a home today isn’t what it used to be. First off, it’s hard to find a qualified buyer (unless it’s a cash buyer) So, many Baby Boomers may be in for a shock. If you find a buyer, they may get a reduced, approved mortgage (difficult to be approved for big money nowadays) so boomers must lower their price if they want to sell to the younger generation. Throw in all the new federal and state regulations (septic updates, current building codes, water quality to name a few), and you can see where this is going: real estate hell.
We rightsized in 2001 going from a 4 bedroom home to a 1 bedroom house, mortgage free. For the first few years, kids slept on the couch and an air mattress in living room. Luckily we expanded the 2nd floor and added in 2 more bedrooms and a full bath (did all the work ourselves) for when the kids do come (twice a year) but we can close the door and neither heat nor maintain the additional living space, thus savings us money. Plus the extra bedrooms are good for resale. BUT at this pace, I don’t think we will ever sell a house again nor buy one ever. We’re staying put in the North East.
When the cold weather comes, we RV down south (cheaper than owning a second home nightmare). At this location, if the kids want to join us, they can stay in a hotel.
Owning real estate is not the panacea it once was. If I had to do it all over again, we’d rent. I do, however, love the (occassional) RVing with the knowledge that it has to be traded in every 5 years (equity goes down 50% every five years) As long as you buy a smallish RV outright, you can keep rolling over the equity into another depreciated, but new-to-us RV.
Owning a home is nothing more than sheer expense. And endless, endless work. Nope. Never again. I’m cured forever.
Hi Cindi! Thanks for sharing your personal experiences with us about owning a home. I so agree that it can definitely NOT be what so many of us hope. It sounds like you took an amazing step to rightsize your life so I hope it is working out for you in the long run. By doing so much of the work yourself I’m sure that it has ended up being a good thing. Still, as you say all the effort and work to do it isn’t glamorous at all (nothing like watching Love it or List it on TV right?) And I appreciate your choosing an RV for your 2nd home as well. That is a great way to experience different locations without the added expense of owning a 2nd home. What I love most about rightsizing is that it shows how different we all are and what works best for one person/family doesn’t necessarily work for anyone else. Finding what works for you is always the key. Thanks! ~Kathy
Another great set of tips and guiding principles for anyone considering right sizing (or just buying/selling in general), Kathy!
I know Ed and I thought about virtually all of these this past year, leading up to the purchase.
Hey Nancy! How are you? Did your house sell and are you in your new home yet? I know you’ve been busy at work but inquiring minds want to know. 🙂 I think a lot of us know most of these ideas but like so many things it is good to be reminded. Plus it is so easy to get excited and jump into things without thinking if we aren’t careful. I’m looking forward to hearing how your sale/purchase is going! ~Kathy
Kathy, being the friend you reference, I have admittedly struggled with some of these. I do think about having space for kids to visit–not lots of room but some.
It’s a challenge to weigh out all the factors. This weekend I’m giving a look at furniture and other possessions again–having already weeded out some in the preparation for putting the house on the market. Thanks for all your suggestions.
Hi Walker! How did you know this was about you? 🙂 I think one great compromise is to create a room or arrange a space that serves duel purposes. Even though Thom and I have a three bedroom house we both work out of the house so we have offices in two of the bedrooms. IN case we have an overnight guest we have a futon in Thom’s office (I have more of the office equipment in my office). While it’s not the most “ideal” guest room, it does work if necessary. And like I said it happens a lot less than most people expect. Good luck on your searching and remember, be clear about what you want, and be patient! ~Kathy
Kathy,
In the hopeful rental I’ve found, there is a room that I would designate as bedroom/office. I agree that there’s a way to be creative about that and design living spaces for multiple uses!
All good points especially #6.
Right-sizing is a tricky thing. I’m not in a position to buy a home or even think about buying unless I win the lotto. The thing is, while I currently have a home I can afford (renting), I would dearly love to be able to buy a home with at least a little more space. I’m feeling cramped in my one bedroom flat, mostly because there is very little storage, no linen closet at all, so I’ve had to hold on to a couple of chests of drawers to store my sheets and towels in; and that’s after I gave away most of them.
So as well as taking stock of what you have and what you can let go of, people need to make sure any potential new home has the spaces they are going to need.
Hi River! It’s so true that not everyone can afford to buy a house and certainly not everyone should for all sorts of reasons. Sorry you are feeling a bit cramped in your place, sometimes it is all in the floorplan. The last time Thom and I moved we probably looked at 30-40 homes (it’s easier when you are in the business) before we decided on what we wanted. And one thing that became obvious was that it is often more about the layout and floorplan than the square footage. One floor plan can have lots of roominess and storage and another with the same space feel cramped and awkward. Is there anyway you can move to a better floorplan for the same rent? It is certainly something to think about if possible. Otherwise, having the perfect amount of storage for a person is all part of a rightsized life. ~Kathy
Such a good post! We just bought a home, and frankly, it was a really terrifying process because who can really know what a home is like until they’ve lived in it?? At the last minute we got the luckiest break imaginable, and our landlord sold us the house we’d already lived in and loved for a year. Now it’s our baby, and we already know it’s JUST the right size for us!
Of course, that won’t work for everyone, but our secret was to be realistic about what we needed, not what we wanted … after the thrill of the chase wears off, whether or not your needs are met day in day out will matter much more than whether or not you got that window seat. I am already intrigued to see how this process plays out for me once I scale down after my kids leave … though we’re still in diapers, so I’ve got some time! 😉
Hi Sarah! Thanks for adding your personal experience to this. What a lucky break you got. Not everyone can be so fortunate for sure but it did help you know in advance if that house would be what you needed. And I love how you say, “what we needed, not what we wanted.” That is such a SMART way to think about the process. Of course who knows if this will be your forever home or not? With your kids so little you have a LOT of life and choices ahead of you. ~Kathy
Great information as usual! My husband and I have owned our home for so long (it’s free and clear now) it may not make sense to move (and we like where we live), but I am completely on board with “right-sizing” our stuff. Once the flotsam and jetsam is gone, we will feel less encumbered by things that really don’t matter. Just looking at my “craft closet” in my office stresses me out. So many projects I don’t even WANT to complete anymore. Best to get rid of them and move on to things I really want to do… like traveling and creating experiences.
Hey Janis! I completely agree that if you like where you live and your home is free and clear then it is SMART to stay put. That’s all part of a rightsized life. And yes to the idea that you can still declutter and get rid of the excess in your life no matter where or when. And sometimes it is wise to admit that you are never going to do that “craft” that sounded interesting years ago and just let it go so you can do as you say and move on to things you really want to do.
And thanks again for meeting Thomm and I for lunch. It was great to get to meet you in person and I look forward ot the next time! ~Kathy
Your guidelines are the perfect check list. We just put our house of 40 years on the market. Open House this weekend. Should we find a buyer (we have a mid-century modern house in a city that loves center hall colonials so it won’t be an easy sell), we plan to rent. Our reasoning mirrors all the point you made above. Thanks for the reinforcement.
Hi Penny! Good for you. It sounds like you’ve thought this through and that is REALLY important. Good luck on your Open House and just continue to believe that there is the right and perfect person who will absolutely LOVE your house at exactly the right time. After all, it only takes one. Looking forward to reading your posts to come. ~Kathy
I love your tips especially since you are a professional! I have family and friends all over the moving, renting, buying spectrum. My sister sold her home, moved into a loft and loves it. She is not a yard or pet person so it is perfect for her. When she has guests it is crowded with one bathroom and no closed off rooms but that doesn’t happen that often. Her open floor plan means she can have big, 12-14 people for dinner and then send them home or to a hotel.
I have turned out to be the envy of some friends with our one level home. I never liked a multi-floor house so I can’t say it was intentional rightsizing but it worked out that way. With my husband’s broken leg this spring the maneuverability of our home was a God Send!
Hi Haralee! Oh thank you for your personal experiences with this too! I was a bit like your sister in that I was worried I wouldn’t have a good place to “put up overnight visitors” in our small house but Thom just told me, “It’s far less expensive to put them up close by in Embassy Suites than buy a bigger house for our occasional company.” He is so RIGHT! But we also made sure we had a house with a great room so we could invite friends to dinner. That’s far more important to me. And yes to one level floor living too. It’s amazing how some qualities take on a much larger significance at certain times in our lives. It sounds like you’ve made some really SMART choices in your life. 🙂 Thanks for sharing them with all of us. ~Kathy
About 4 years ago we downsized from a 3 bedroom large place to a 1 bedroom apartment. Our kids were living out of state and we were busy with work. Suddenly we had enough time to go skiing and bike riding something we had not been able to fit in for years.
Our daughter then moved back and things got pretty cozy for the small space. So we moved into a 2 bedroom apartment, then our daughter moved away.
The 2 bedroom is comfortable for us now. But not owning a place has let us adjust as we need.
Wish I could encourage more friends to make the jump. The smaller space and moves have really helped us know what we value in spending our time and posessions we own.
Hi Alicia! Thank you so much for sharing your personal story of rightsizing. As you say it has been such a positive experience it is hard to see why others aren’t more willing to make the jump. Of course, now that you know you’ll never be tempted the same way right? Once we get the freedom that comes from such a move most of us are converts for life. Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Great guidelines Kathy. We are gearing up to move to our “retirement location” in a few months and went through all of those considerations you mention (I just checked them off!). It is difficult to leave behind a home you have been in for decades but for us this move is exciting. New location (but not too far) with a new neighborhood, new neighbors, new restaurants and new adventures! We researched the right location for a number of years before pulling the trigger on this one. And we have already met a few couples who have lived in the area many years and can show us the ropes. And away we go… 🙂
Hi Dave! Congratulations. I am convinced that the biggest thing you can do is research it all and be certain that the move increases all your benefits more than anything else. Far too many people rush into things…or get talked into things because it is such a big decision. While I know it isn’t popular for a real estate broker to say it, because of course they only get paid once you buy something, but it is more important for you to be very satisfied with your purchase. Even the best agent/broker has a hard time telling you to rent rather than buy—but I’m always amazed at how many of them don’t own their own house or any investments. Just like with your health, we need to take our health and our financial wellbeing into our own hands and never assume someone else knows best for us.
I’m looking forward to all the posts you’ll write in the future about your new home and how great a move is was! ~Kathy
This is exactly what my husband and I did when we sold our home. We got rid of so much stuff and believe it or not I don’t miss it at all. We are renting right now because we’re not sure if this is the area we want to stay at. I’m here because of my mom when she’s not here I’ve always had the dream to move to the west coast. It would be stupid to tie ourselves up in a house on the east coast.
Hi Rena! Yes isn’t it funny that after you’ve done it (gotten rid of all the stuff) you realize that nearly all the hesitation was our attachments to our memories (or at least that’s the way I would put it.) I also had the advantage of having both my mom and dad pass on several years ago and I saw what my mom had saved to “give to us.” In the end each of us four girls only took a small handful of momentos to remember them by and everything else was sold, donated or trashed.
And you are very SMART to just rent knowing that you are not in your “forever” place at this point. 🙂 ~Kathy
Another great post Kathy – I love how you put things so sensibly and I agree with everything you said – especially about the temptation to make the house appealing to the grandchildren (who don’t visit as often as we assume they will!)
Hi Leanne! Hahaha…I don’t usually think of myself as “sensible” but I appreciate the thought. And if I help anyone in some small way make better decisions then I’m really happy. And thanks for confirming that point about pleasing the grandkids. I’ve seen it many, many times for sure! ~Kathy
All so true Kathy… although I must say this entire process has been much more stressful than I could have ever imagined!
We’re still renting in a tiny town with few rentals, and we’ve been building a custom home for the past year. We’re still not sure that we’ve “right-sized” because we haven’t moved in yet, but we’re glad to be out of the hustle and bustle of urban life. The snow-capped mountain views are an incredible thing to wake up to each day!
Hi Laura Lee! I’m not at ALL surprised that you’ve been stressed during your house-building experience. I’ve read that it can be one of the most challenging thing a couple can face together. Thom and I have never built a house, but we have done some pretty extensive remodeling and that was certainly challenging enough. But I think after living for a year in your community you should have a pretty good idea of whether that area “fits” you or not and when the house is FINALLY done you’ll have the home that you’ve waited so long to experience. I’ve been watching photos as you go along and I’ll be it will be spectacular when finished! ~Kathy