According to the online publication Business Insider, the average person works over 1,800 hours per year and almost 90,000 total hours during their lifetime. That might be low because if you figure 40 hours per week for 50 weeks, it comes to 2,000 hours without even counting commuting time. An even more depressing bit of information is that nearly 80% of people are dissatisfied with their jobs. So if we spend over a third of our life working and another third of our life sleeping, that leaves only one third to do everything else. Is that enough for a happy, purposeful and rewarding life? Maybe. If not, perhaps there is a better way to live by right-sizing your work in ways that help to create a SMART life 365.
Before I go very far it is probably good to define what I mean by work. While not everyone in our culture thinks of work in the negative, a huge number of Americans dread getting up on a Monday morning to do just that. According to the Judeo-Christian Bible, work comes after “the fall.” And, for the majority of people in the U.S. at least, the ultimate goal for working 40 to 50 years is retirement. According to Salary.com, 70% of us work to live, while only 19% live to work. So unfortunately for most of us, work is something we have to do just to survive, rather than want to do because we can.
Of course that doesn’t mean that there is no benefit from our work even if we do it because we must. While the basic premise is that we exchange our time for resources in order to live, work also provides us with meaning and purpose. As Karl Pillemer, Ph.D. says in his book, 30 Lessons for Living, work is “the way we gain a sense of self-worth and achievement, and a means of making connections with others. It is also a component of our core identity.” Writers at Salary.com report than the ultimate goal is for everyone to be in a job that fulfills them both personally and professionally. But is that true? Again, is that the ultimate trade off for the hours that make up our life?
Gary Cutting in his editorial for the NY Times writes, “We’re ambivalent about work because in our capitalistic system it means work-for-pay (wage-labor), not for its own sake.” In his article, Cutting quotes several leading philosophers who believe that the purpose of work is to give us the leisure and freedom to enjoy activities that will lead to greater happiness and “a good life.” Unfortunately as Cutting goes on to say, “But capitalism as such is not interested in quality of life. It is essentially a system for producing things to sell at a profit, the greater the better.” And in order to keep selling things, people are being raised and trained to work hard and then buy more, more and more of whatever is being sold, “regardless of its relevance to human flourishing.”
The good news is that there is a way to avoid the slavery of a mechanistic and consumer culture. I call it right-sizing your work or occupation. The best thing about rightsizing is that it allows you to be in complete control of your own life, rather than following the dictates of society, other people around you, or your own guilt or misguided expectations. Here are three ways to make the hours you spend at work (whatever that work might be), life enhancing rather than life depleting.
#1 Never take any job just for the money. In the book, 30 Lessons For Living—Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans, Karl Pillemer, Ph.D. says, that the number one piece of advice offered by his interviewees in the area of work was this simple caution. After asking over 1,000 people from 65 to 100 to share their wisdom, the overwhelming consensus was that “it’s vastly preferable to take home less in your paycheck and enjoy what you are doing rather than live for the weekends and your three weeks vacation a year.” Pillemer calls these seniors “experts” and says, “If doing what you love requires living with less…that’s a no brainer.”
But the experts aren’t the only ones who agree with that statement. Research study after study is showing that once our basic needs are met we won’t be any happier working harder or making more money. Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology at Harvard University wrote a book about it, and popular career coach Penelope Trunk insists, “More money does not make more happiness.” Ultimately, as Richard Easterlin, professor of economics at University of Southern California says, “How much pleasure people get from their job is independent of how much it pays.”
But why don’t more of us get this message? What parent would encourage their child to be a prostitute or a drug dealer for the money? What wife or husband would ask their partner to sell their soul just for a bigger paycheck? Yet isn’t that what any of us do if we encourage those we love to work at jobs they hate just so we can buy more stuff? Until we are willing to give a happy and fulfilling life a higher priority than the money that any job generates, this will not change.
#2 Find a job that fulfills you and makes you happy. Seek and find a job that fits your personality, talents and life goals—and never lose faith that one is out there. The good news is that many younger people today are holding out for fulfilling jobs and switching when it makes sense. In older generations, far too many stuck it out in dead end jobs they hated for their entire lives, just to bring home the money. As Pillemer’s “experts” suggest, “the tragedy isn’t finding ourselves in the wrong job; it’s staying there.”
Over and over these experts of advancing age reported that even when it was extremely challenging, finding something you love to do was still the best way to experience a happy life. Overwhelmingly they believe we all spend way too much of our short lifetimes working, to ever stay stuck in jobs we hate.
Of course the “experts” were also quick to say that if you find yourself in a job that isn’t completely satisfying, part of the responsibility to make it rewarding falls on your shoulders. They were adamant that we should see work challenges as, “learning experiences and to take advantage of any opportunity to gather knowledge about an industry or occupation.” And then go from there.
Another primary key to making a job something that fulfills a person and provides meaning is to seek “autonomy” as much as possible. Because autonomy is one of the most important attributes of a satisfying occupation, finding ways to act on one’s own as much as possible usually leads to greater happiness. That’s why becoming self-employed, regardless of the amount of money to be made, is usually so desirable.
#3 Learn to think of money as something you trade for your “life energy” and time. This powerful idea was made popular by the book Your Money Or Your Life written by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin in 1992. This book recommends that people become extremely clear about exactly how much they have, how much they make, and precisely how much time they trade to get that money. 99 times out of 100 people will discover that the time they spend working (and getting ready to work, traveling to work, and coming home from work) absorb far more of their life energy than they realize. That’s when the book offers 101 tips to help people learn to make changes, prioritize their time, and spend their money more efficiently for maximum enjoyment.
While this might seem to be a strange strategy to rightsize your work, I think it’s critical for us each to closely examine and recognize how valuable our time and “life energy” is. Most of us will admit that time is more precious than money but our lives often don’t reflect that truth. Only after we become more aware can we make better choices every single day.
The book Your Money or Your Life offers three basic and timeless questions about our work and our lives that we can ask ourselves to stay on track:
- Did I receive fulfillment, satisfaction and value in proportion to life energy spent?
- Is this expenditure of life energy in alignment with my values and life purpose?
- How might this expenditure change if I didn’t have to work for a living?
Of course there are lots of other suggestions I could offer to explain how to rightsize your work, but until these three ideas are embraced the others are only Band-Aids for an overall chronic condition. Fortunately my husband Thom and I both feel the same way about work so we have made it a focus in our lives—and yes, our work is rightsized for us. Not only do we have a profoundly happy and content life, we don’t struggle for money like we did when we were younger. Once we incorporated the above suggestions into both our actions and our perceptions, the rest followed.
If work takes up around one third of a person’s life, then we all owe it to ourselves to make that time and experience as meaningful, fulfilling and yes, happy, as possible. We owe that to our partners and our children as well. The “experts” in Pillemer’s books all agreed saying, “There’s no harsher penalty than to wake up and go to work at a job you don’t like.” By consistently stopping and asking ourselves, what is most important to me, and where do I want spend my precious time, talents and life energy, we will then be guided to a path that is both happy and SMART, 365.
Question: What is one thing you have done to “rightsize” your work? Please share in the comments below.
This post couldn’t be more timely (though I know I’m reading it late – going through my email backlog for unread posts!)
I recently was offered a role in a different locations – which’ll add a lot more travel to my life. It’s a temporary role during the interim arrangements, and I made it QUITE clear that I will not apply for the role permanently. The reason I’m taking the not right-sized temporary role is to keep up appearances – be willing and able to fit where the business needs me. But come permanent appointments at this level, and I only get offered one at this more distant office, I will reject it for less pay. Thankfully, the alternatives are a role at the office I currently commute to, or one closer to home which I could walk to or ride my scooter.
It was SO tough to say yes (and want to say no) to the temporary role – thankfully my partner and parents supported me. But it would have been a demotion, and whilst the dollars didn’t worry me, it did send a message that maybe I wasn’t ambitious enough to move to an inconvenient office. It’s been a tough call, we’ll see how things work out in the short and longer term.
Hi Sarah! How are you? It is nice to hear from you but it sounds like you’ve been very busy. And yes, the choices we make are often very complicated and not easy to sort through. Only you could make the choice that you did and you are fortunate that you have others supporting you. But the good news is that no matter what happens you DO have the opportunity to learn things. Those things will keep you there or not. Again, either way it is a learning experience. And remember, now that you KNOW you do have a choice you can never NOT KNOW it right? Stay aware of what’s going on around you and never forget that a choice is just a yes or no away.
I’m looking forward to what happens next! 🙂 Thanks again for coming by. ~Kathy
Leaving a very stressful job in 2009 required me to rethink everything. I was forced to simplify and found that it makes life much more enjoyable. What I’m doing now is taking my passion and my gifts and making them into something that will help others and bring in a small stream of income. It really is true that finding that right mix of purpose and meaningfulness can be much more satisfying.
My next challenge is the decision about whether to stay in a too big, too pricey house I love or downsize—more about finances than mobility. It’s something you’ve discussed before and I’m taking some time to look at possibilities and consider my options. As always I find such great content here on your site.
Hi Walker! You are a walking success story of someone who left a high-paying successful job to do something that feeds your soul. You could have kept trying to fit back into that square box but you’ve made changes that help–I love what you say, “finding that right mix of purpose and meaningfulness can be much more satisfying.”
I know it can seem daunting to leave a house that you love but I’ve always believed (and my experience proves) that when one door closes, another one opens. But until we close that door behind us we can never find the incredible benefits that lay beyond. When it comes to letting go of a big lovely house, the FREEDOM you will experience on the other side will more than make up for any loss you might feel. Especially if you pick a new house that condenses but amplifies everything you currently love in your life. Trust me on this! 🙂 I can’t wait to see THAT story unfold on your blog. ~Kathy
Those stats are harrowing! I always thought of you either have money or time and I’d rather time, so I am doing what I love. Seriously, I could be making more doing something else, but this feeds me. I’m working on leveraging myself so I still can do what I love, help MORE people and work less! Hurrah!
Hi Jodi! I know from reading your blog that you’ve made decisions that prove you recognize how important TIME is rather than money. Spending time with your family and doing the important work that you do for your clients is certainly the better way to a happy life. Your enthusiasm for life and what you do is so evident in what you do! ~Kathy
Awww…thanks Kathy 🙂 I’ll keep doing what I can and I know you will as well!
Take care and all the best.
Lyle
“What wife or husband would ask their partner to sell their soul just for a bigger paycheck?” – Sadly, I could name names…but won’t!
“What is one thing you have done to “rightsize” your work?” – As you know, I live my life right-sized and I couldn’t agree more with all that you have stated in the post above. The one thing I do is to simply do the work I enjoy – teaching guitar and performing – and it’s one of the few “jobs” that makes me happy 🙂
Thanks Kathy for a thoughtful and well-researched article 🙂
Take care and my best to you both.
Lyle
Hi Lyle! Yes, after reading your blog for a while I KNEW that you were definitely living a rightsized life in every way–including your job. I think you are a great example of someone who made the conscious choice to let go of all that “stuff” that didn’t serve you and live a life based on what is really important to you. Keep on serving as that great example and spreading the word about the benefits of going “simple.” People need to hear that there is another way! ~Kathy
I am so lucky to have a day-job that I enjoy, that I can do mostly from home and takes little of my life energy because I’ve done it for so long it comes second nature and still remains challenging (in a good way). I’m doubly lucky this year because my workload is light, which leaves lots of energy to do what I love: write.
Hey Kelly! Yes, isn’t it the best to have a job you enjoy that has freedom and is challenging in a good way! I don’t know about you but I wasn’t “born” knowing that so I think it is so important for those of us who have found it to let others know that it is possible. Thanks for checking in! ~Kathy
Love this: “”the way we gain a sense of self-worth and achievement, and a means of making connections with others.””
This is TRUE. My job is stressful, and many times, unrewarding, but the people I work with make it bearable, fun, easy to be there. These connections are EVERYTHING.
Still, I’d rather be home “Writing” all day!
xx great post, as usual, dear.
Hi Kim! Yes, a big part of being happy at work is connecting with people. I can’t remember which article I read while researching but one definitely said that people are ALWAYS happier and more likely to stay at a particular job if they have friends there and like the people they work with. While working at home is AWESOME, there are some downsides–and a big one is those connections that are more difficult to make. So enjoy it while it is happening–but never lose sight of what you might be able to do (write at home) sometime in the future. ~Kathy
Things are looking 50/50 at this point for a switch. Need to make sure I’m not assuming a grass-is-greener scenario. Still have some thinking to do. Will be back in Vegas on the 25th for a work conference, and then plan to stay for another 2 weeks after that. May need to fly to NYC mid-visit though, which would put a wrench in plans. I’ll confirm once I know what I’m doing for certain.
xoxo
Understand. Just let me know 🙂
Thanks very much for your ideas about my book, 30 Lessons for Living! One comment makes a good point, asking whether these ideas apply to people who have limited choices in the current economic climate. I think it\\\’s interesting that the advice about \\\”find work you love\\\” comes from people who had even less choice than now: Those who lived through the Great Depression and its aftermath. That\\\’s one reason why the recommendation has such power to me; these are individuals who learned to make the most of very bad jobs, and move on from them. Great blog, and thanks for the interest!
Hi Karl! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. I’m just about finished reading your book but when I came across the chapter on work I knew I had to include it in a blog post. And yes, isn’t it interesting that your “experts” had far less choice about their work–and probably needed (really needed) the money more than a lot of families today. But still they insisted that we should find a job that we love–or at least find one that gave us far more time to spend with those we love and/or do thing we like doing. Unfortunately in today’s world there is so much pressure to have a “prestigious” job or income so that we go to school (taking on huge student loans) and then find ourselves stuck in jobs or occupations we don’t even like. While I realize that college has a place for young people, it might be best if they focused on getting a degree at colleges that keep debt down and then find their place in the world. Starting out with huge debt over your head definitely narrows your choices right off the bat.
Anyway, thank you again for your comment. I also really love the chapter on relationships so will be writing about that at some point too. So much wisdom from these people–it deserves to be shared! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
An interesting topic!
Whatever work we take up, it becomes boring at times and stagnation sets in after a few years. The onus to make it interesting and fulfilling falls on the individual efforts. All experiences at work help us in growing up, make us prudent, we learn so many new facets of life and people. so work is much more than just earning livelihood…it adds many more directions to our journey.
I agree more with those who say that the responsibility to make a job satisfying rests with us but we learn this slowly, as we keep moving ahead and grow older.
Thanks for an insightful and well researched article.
Hi Balroop! I agree that work isn’t always fun–no matter what your job. But if it isn’t satisfying in any way, and we’ve learned all we can from it, then it’s best to start looking for a new one.
This article and the thoughts behind it keep reminding me of the Mexican Fisherman story. If you haven’t read it before, here’s a link to the post where I wrote my version of it: http://smartliving365.com/a-case-for-simple-living-or-why-shiny-objects-don’t-equal-happiness-part-1/
Thanks again for stopping by Balroop. You have a great weekend and don’t work too hard! 🙂 ~Kathy
This all makes a lot of sense for people with choices. Unfortunately, in this economy, there are people who not only are forced into jobs they hate but also into jobs that are beneath their qualifications and the amount of money they need to live a decent life. You do what you have to do to feed yourself and your family….but I wonder, if I could coach someone in that situation, whether they could successfully find a more fulfilling way to earn an income, or if there really are totally bleak, deadend situations with no other choices? What do you think?
Hi Annette. Thanks for your thoughtful response to this post. I agree that it can be challenging to figure out how to bring in money when it is needed, but I do believe that most of us can do a better job of it if we set our minds to finding the solution. Obviously we have to eat and have a place to live, but there are dozens of decisions beyond those that we really do have choices about. I think if we can get clear about what is most important to us, i.e. staying healthy, spending quality time with loved ones, contributing to the world in a positive way, we can start taking steps towards a more fulfilling life. What that looks like is different for each of us, but if we begin valuing our time more than the money I think that starts shifting our attention. Then we can work at jobs that maybe don’t pay as much but give us more freedom and time doing what we love. Even if we do take a job that isn’t our “dream job” but still have lots more time and enough to pay for our necessities, maybe that is a step in the right direction. But until a person decides that they no longer want to play the “game” of a consumer mechanistic society with no end in site, there is no answer.
Of course this is my perspective on this and I know some people who “say” they are perfectly happy on that treadmill. It’s something we all have to decide for ourselves. ~Kathy
I agree with your advice to seek out a career that you love rather than solely focus on the money. My son has a degree in Zoology and hopes to work in a zoo at some point. In the meantime he trains and walks dogs, keeping close to his passion for critters. He accepts it may take some time before he lands his ideal job but is happy surviving in the meantime with low costs and the hopes of ultimately pursuing his passion. I remember more than one time during my career when I had no choice but to work at a place I hated but had no choice as the bills needed to be paid. Retirement is my kind of job – doing what I want without the stress of making a living. Enjoy! 🙂
Hi Dave! Thanks for offering that perspective from your son. When I was researching this post I read many articles that say the new Millennials see the work thing much like your son. While he has an idea of what will make him happy he is working in a way that still keeps him connected to his schooling without sacrificing that love just to bring in some cash. I think way too many of us baby boomers took jobs and boxed ourselves in when we were young and couldn’t find a way out. I think the Millennials have witnessed what we did and are trying a different path (and of course the economy is way different too) but they also don’t have the job loyalty that was ingrained in us. They have witnessed that there isn’t much security in a big corporation any more and are trying a new way. While it might be difficult as a parent to let them find their way, I happen to believe in the long run they will have a happier and more satisfied life in the long run because of it. ~Kathy
Kathy, I love your 3 tips. I agree with all of them, especially #1 Never take any job just for the money!
Hi Nancy! Glad you liked it! And yes, that first tip is certainly the most important. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
Good to be back on your blog after my little summer break, once again 🙂
Those stats are surely amazing….one doesn’t realize the amount of time one spends working, and for bloggers, I think you can easily say it’s double that amount if you don’t keep things under control.
I loved the books you mentioned and all that they tell us. I think if we can come to terms about what we really need to be happy, we would be happier people. Happiness is actually a state of mind, and if we think deep, very little is needed to lead a happy life, isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend 🙂
Welcome back Harleena! Did you have a wonderful summer break? The basis of this post is so much about taking time for yourself when necessary so I’m glad you did it!
And yes, aren’t the stats amazing? I’m not sure if they are the same where you are but I’ll bet there is plenty of it everywhere. As you say, “I think you can easily say it’s double that amount if you don’t keep things under control.” Thanks for your thoughts as always! ~Kathy
Prior to my 2.5 year hiatus from the workforce I was in a big job, one that paid me stupid, staggering amounts of money, but also sucked the lifeblood out of me.
When I left, I could have taken the sizeable package I received, banked it and jumped right in to another job immediately, Pocketing a giant windfall in the process. It was tempting. But I knew I wasn’t in a good place. I knew I had to regroup, get my head back on straight and figure out what was important to me, and my life. So instead I used the big severance to do absolutely nothing but focus on me, have fun, explore for the next 2 years.
When the time came to face the reality that I couldn’t just retire at 47 years old 🙂 it was time to start considering my options. I could have gone right back into the crazy world I came out of, but I knew I would end up the giant ball of stress that I was 3 years ago. I decided to take on a role that had less responsibility (and a smaller paycheque) but afforded me the work/life balance I have come to demand of myself.
While it’s not perfect, I need to remind myself constantly that it is a very, very good gig: WFH 100% while still earning a salary that puts me in the top 5% of earners. When I frame it like that, it’s hard to justify bitching about it at all, really.
Hi Nancy! Thanks for your perspective on this because you have come full circle and I think people need to hear that perspective over and over again. And I’m not sure ANY job is absolutely perfect (although mine does come pretty darn close!) so it’s good to keep in mind that every experience has some ups and downs. But now that you know that the road to ultimate money is fraught with enormous amounts of stress, you can now make it up your way. How empowering. But I also believe that it’s important to keep reminding yourself of that because it is frightfully easy to get sucked back into the “game” if we aren’t careful.
Speaking of that? ARe you going to be “switching” as you mentioned a while back so that you might be able to come for a visit in Idyllwild? It would be fun! ~Kathy