My husband Thom and I began living a more simple and sustainable life over ten years ago. In the beginning, the practice felt a bit awkward and required our conscious focus and intention to make the necessary changes. Gradually our actions became fluid and felt more natural. Most excuses and resistance simply faded away. Finally, after all these years I believe that our path to simple living is so deeply ingrained in us that it has become a habit that adds value to our lives every single day. Are we experts? Not hardly. But if we can do it, anyone can. So what if you’re just starting on the journey? My advice is to make the practice a habit as quickly as possible.
Here are three critical steps I believe are necessary:
#1 Focus more on the “why” you are doing it than the “how.” If you have been paying attention, you know that dozens of books, websites, blogs and even movies are currently focused on ways to “unclutter” your life. And while many of those outlets offer great information about how to go about sifting through your stuff, unless you have a strong “why” you, will likely return to your former habits after a while.
I think many of us are first drawn to simple living because we previously pursued a life in ways we thought would make us happy only to discover how empty that can be. Often our first thoughts are examining the details of our life, the over-stuffed clutter that takes more work to manage than expected and feel the need to sweep it all away. Instead, I recommend that we dig deep inside—that and talk it over intimately with our loved ones—and come to the clear understanding that all that stuff and clutter is not the happiness or satisfaction we really crave.
The basis of simple living or minimalism is the recognition that true happiness and peace of mind lie with an awareness of what really matters to us—and that seldom has anything to do with our accumulation of stuff. In fact, all those hours that we force ourselves to go to jobs we dislike just to pay bills often leads us to buy stuff just to medicate ourselves from the life dissatisfaction we’ve created. Instead, by stripping away all the clutter and distractions we’ve accumulated to dull our unhappiness, we uncover the satisfied, contented and rewarding life we desire.
Once most of you in the household (it might take some family members a while) catch on, you can then begin taking some of the actions. Plus, once you are clear on your “why” it will be far easier to explain it to anyone in the house that might continue to resist. Remember, if you’ve had your life ladder leaning against the wrong wall for years, it will require a significant change to move it to a wall that fits your new understanding. But bit-by-bit, even the most reluctant among you will begin to realize all the wonderful benefits such a transformation can bring about.
#2 Start every day reading or watching some new information about simple living or minimalism. Any thing we want to make a habit needs to be “fed” constant input to shift our mindset to a new way of thinking. First thing in the morning we are very susceptible to input that sinks down into our unconscious mind. By “teaching” our minds about this is new and important way of thinking, we set ourselves up for different actions we can take to fit it into our lifestyle in beneficial ways.
Keep strongly in mind that our old habit of just soaking up any and all news that we encounter first thing, and all day long, usually promotes the opposite of simple living. Nearly every television program, Facebook post, or many websites have the strong mission to entertain you while convincing you that you need their product or what they are selling, to create a happy life. It’s their job. If we slip into watching, reading or paying attention to messages questioning our need for what they are selling, we are usually mindlessly accepting messages of consumerism or competition with others without any awareness we are doing so. Ever wondered why you have accumulated so much stuff that doesn’t make you that happy? You’ve made consumerism a habit and opened yourself up to be sold anything and everything out there that others want you to buy.
Instead, by consciously start your day focused on information about what matters most to you and things that encourage your new habit. Reading stories about how others are learning to live a more rewarding and sustainable life will encourage you to do the same. Tips about ways to practice simple living will inspire you to make simple changes in your own life. Want minimalism to be a habit? Start every day with making it a priority.
#3 Develop a “tribe” of others who want to live like you do. Research shows that most of the time we hang out with people like us. Some of those studies even show that if you eat unhealthy foods, never exercise or do anything else in excess, chances are that many of your friends do exactly the same. If you are on welfare or other governmental assistance, chances are many of your friends are too. Humans tend to unconsciously gravitate to others who are like them in appearance, education, health, and actions.
It is exceedingly difficult to hang out with the Joneses and not get sucked into the idea that you deserve the same stuff as much (or more) than your friends and neighbors. No matter how focused we are, it takes a great deal of personal discipline to see attractive and interesting items –like a big expensive home, the current model of an automobile, the latest in technology, or the most visually gorgeous outfit—and not begin to wonder whether you should own it too. Add in a tiny bit of competition and comparison, and before we know it, we can justify just about any purchase for ourselves regardless of whether we need it or can even afford it. Easy credit just adds to the problem.
However, if most of your friends are also doing their best to focus on experiences rather than things, and live well within their means, your relationship with them will help you, not lead you astray. How do you know if your current friends belong in your tribe? In most cases, I think many people are aware of this if they just take the time to think it through.
Other than that, all you really have to do is start talking about the benefits of living a more simple and sustainable life and anyone not on board will likely just begin to fade away. If a person isn’t ready to get off the hamster-wheel of consumerism, chances are they want to get as far away from you as they can. Instead, focus on those who exemplify the habits and lifestyle you wish for yourself and your family.
Like most good habits with multiple rewards, the more you practice it, the benefits add up—making it easier as time goes by. Then, like my husband and I, you will likely find that nearly all your choices and decisions are guided by that deep acceptance you have for a lifestyle that rewards you on so many levels. Once minimalism and simple living become a deeply ingrained habit, you’ll probably ask yourself, like Thom and I did, “Why did we wait so long?”
I happen to call our version of simple living, “rightsizing” because it frees me to define our minimalist lifestyle in a way that fits our family in a unique way. Regardless of how others attempt to define the practice, discovering how it fits you and your family in the best way possible, is the SMART way to go. All that remains is making it a habit.
Your turn! Do you have any tips you’d like to add to help make the practice of simple living or minimalism a habit? Please share in the comments below.
Prakash Ghai says
October 18, 2017 at 2:03 AMI agree on point number 2
Yes, we should read about Minimalism everyday to stay motivated.
Minimalism is a lifestyle change and its pretty hard to change overnight one’s outlook / habits / living.
Therefore, we need to work on it continuously.
Kathy Gottberg says
October 18, 2017 at 3:41 PMHi Prakash Ghai! Welcome to SMART Living. And yes, I completely agree that it is difficult to change habits — and they certainly can’t be changed overnight. But I am proof positive that it can be done. Perhaps the more of us that do it the more we encourage others!? Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Lynne Spreen says
September 30, 2017 at 1:52 PM#1 resounded for me. Bill and I had planned a cruise, but the cost was really not comfortable. I got this great idea, like #1, and we had a discussion analyzing what we wanted out of that cruise. For me, it was the boating experience. I didn’t really care where we went, as long as it was warm and we had a lot of sea days. He felt the same! So we canceled and got a refund for the pricey far-away cruise, and instead of flying across the country, staying in a hotel the night before the cruise, which would include dinner and breakfast, we’ll be driving straight to the port (no hotel or air fare), on Princess (less costly cruise line), to Baha. Saving about 75% of the original cost, and we’re getting the main thing we wanted: lots of ocean from a stateroom balcony; waking up in a foreign port. Done.
Liesbet says
September 29, 2017 at 10:00 AMI think Mark and I are the worst consumers in the world. 🙂 Consumerism is a big problem in the western world and, in my opinion, it leads to the wrong priorities in life. We hate watching TV, because of the commercials. And, we immediately close a browser window (say for a recipe) when an add pops up in our face. We have never EVER clicked on an ad on any website, all the while wondering who would? Of course, people do, or these practices would not happen anymore.
When we shop for groceries, we only buy what we need and always look at the prices. When it is too expensive, we will skip the tomatoes or broccoli this week. Oftentimes, we eye something and put it back in the rack or fridge. We actually do need new clothes (we are each down to one pair of usable jeans), but we hope to head to warmer climates to avoid buying more jeans. We don’t like shopping for clothes and other stuff (except food).
Yep, we are weird, but we like our simple, uncluttered life, and rather spend our money on outdoor pursuits. 🙂
Kathy Gottberg says
September 30, 2017 at 6:50 AMHi Liesbet! Good for you and Mark for learning this important value so early in your lives. It took Thom and I a while but we are very similar. Once you get into the habit of not buying things it makes things so much easier don’t you think. And yes, once you discover how free it makes you feel, there is no going back, right? ~Kathy
Liesbet says
October 3, 2017 at 2:27 PMRight! 🙂
Sally C says
September 5, 2017 at 5:14 AMI just discovered your site this morning……..very timely as I recently retired and although I’ve always been a “stuff” minimalist, living on ss, small pension and savings vs. having a salary is a bit scary to me. As a result, I am constantly looking for ways to trim my monthly expenses and am becoming a budgeting spreadsheet queen!
Kathy Gottberg says
September 5, 2017 at 10:24 AMHi Sally! Welcome to SMART Living and congratulations on doing your best to live rightsized! A real key is to do like you are doing–budgeting–so you know where you’ve been spending money in the past. The next step, of course, is choosing to spend what money you do have on those things that bring you the most happiness and peace. Then refuse to spend money on all those other things that are only temporary. Good luck on your path and please continue to share what you learn with all of us here on SMART Living 365. ~Kathy
Jeannie says
September 4, 2017 at 6:59 PMThis has really give me inspiration to Right Size. I never spend above my means and I know my limits, but I will admit that I have way to many clothes, purses and shoes. I usually buy at 2nd hand stores or sale prices so I tell myself that it’s ok. In reality, I do not need all this stuff. Thank you for giving me insight to get to it and unclutter my closet tomorrow!
Kathy Gottberg says
September 5, 2017 at 10:27 AMHi Jeannie! Welcome to SMART Living. And good for you for living well within your means. I do think that uncluttering is an excellent way to create more order and peace of mind in your life. But if you buy things that truly bring you happiness, then only you can decide if you have too many or too much. I LOVE to travel so I would rather spend my money on travel than just about anything else. Other people might see that as extravagant but as long as I live below my means, who can judge another? And I also think it is great that you are using 2nd hand stores as well. Thanks for sharing some of your story and for your comment. ~Kathy
BonnieJ says
September 4, 2017 at 4:05 PMLoved this article. I am 64, and have been blessed with lots of nice stuff, but in retirement would rather travel and experience more… so I am donating, selling, and decluttering my closets. Have also handed over several fancy purses to my oldest, who can really use them in her career. I have even asked my daughters what they would want me to give them before I die. The answers have been very revealing! I don’t want to leave them a house full of things they don’t want at the end of my life.
Kathy Gottberg says
September 5, 2017 at 10:31 AMHi Bonnie! Welcome to SMART Living! I too am a big lover of travel and most of my extra resources go in that direction just like you. And how great that you are able to repurpose some of your stuff to those who can use and appreciate it more. When it comes down to it, most of the extra stuff in our house isn’t that desirable to those we know. One of the kindest and most beneficial things you can do it offer it, but then never make others feel guilty for not wanting it. Then just let it go and it will probably find someone else who really needs and wants it. Then in the end, you’ll have more free time and resources to do what you love–travel! Thanks for your comment and come back and share what you learn along the way. ~Kathy
anne einhorn says
August 20, 2017 at 10:54 AMThanks for the tips.
What is helping me simplify my stuff is to look at it and ask “Would I buy this at Goodwill?” If the answer is no, it needs another home.
Another thing that helps is to wait a month and see how I feel about acquiring an object. If I am still interested in getting it, unless it’s an emergency, I try waiting for another month just to be sure. I have learned alot this way about how easy it is to want something you don’t really need, and how easy it can be to “use it up, wear it out, make do or do without.”
I like your #1. If you can answer “why?” honestly you will sooner or later rightsize, perhaps in different ways that you develop yourself. I practice #2 with the Goodwill question every day.
Kathy Gottberg says
August 21, 2017 at 9:26 AMHi Anne! Thank you for your wonderful suggestion. I haven’t done it before but I so agree that is a fast and sure way to see if our stuff really matters that much to us. And I so agree about coming up with a waiting period for making any purchase. Anytime any one says, “special price but you have to buy it today” we usually run for the door. Good for you for coming up with wonderful habits to simplify your life.! ~Kathy
Donna says
August 20, 2017 at 7:45 AMHi, Kathy – I agree that tip #3 is essential. Surrounding oneself with like-minded people, offers great modeling, encouragement and support. It also provides others to share activities with that offer a win-win (as opposed to constant compromise)!
Kathy Gottberg says
August 21, 2017 at 9:23 AMHi Donna! Yes, doesn’t this “tip” apply to just about anything we want to accomplish or become in life. Or instead of trying to cram ourselves into a round hole, when we are clearly square, is another definition of insanity. Thanks for your comment. ~Kathy
Haralee says
August 19, 2017 at 9:39 AMGreat tips Kathy. Especially #3 to hang out with friends or go to dinner or vacation, it is important you are financially all on the same page! I don’t like to go out to dinner with friends who are big drinkers and I don’t drink and they want to split the bill. I have to say no and it is a bit awkward!
Kathy Gottberg says
August 21, 2017 at 9:28 AMHi Haralee! Oh yes to people who want us to “split” the cost whenever they are being extravagant or doing something we never do. And while it might be awkward, I don’t blame you a bit for speaking up for yourself. And isn’t it true about vacation too? We tried it “once” and had such an uncomfortable time trying to fit into other people’s expectations and spending and it didn’t work well at all. Thanks for those great reminders. And I just saw your post about gardening and the joy it brings you! Finding others who appreciate what we appreciate makes life so much richer. ~Kathy
Janis says
August 18, 2017 at 10:05 PMI think #3 is key for many areas of our lives. If you want to make any major changes, seek out those who are already living that way.
Kathy Gottberg says
August 19, 2017 at 8:23 AMHi Janis! Isn’t that true? I can’t remember who writes about it frequently, but he is very certain that for any of us wanting to make a permanent change in our lives, we have to surround ourselves with others who are doing it. In fact, if I remember correctly, he recommends that if we just want to “see” if a change will make us happy or deliver the feeling we are craving, hang out with people who have what we think we want. According to that author, he believes that is the best way for us to really be able to know if something is as important to us as we might guess. Maybe that’s why writers like us need to keep being vocal about things like this so that others who are interested will recognize the value as well? ~Kathy
Yvette says
August 18, 2017 at 3:01 PMLife is less stressful when you have sifted through your stuff and eliminated the unnecessary. Having friends in the same headspace means a relaxed friendship where you know there is no pressure to shop/buy when going out and no competition in lifestyle. This also frees up some extra money to spend on creating special experiences like holidays in different places or celebrations. I recently attended a friends 60 birthday on a river boat, she organised simple catering and shared the experience with 60 friends, a memorable birthday with a request for NO gifts. One we will remember for a long time and the photos and fun are meaningful rather than adding more clutter to her home!!!!
Kathy Gottberg says
August 19, 2017 at 8:14 AMHi Yvette! Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. And yes, the peace of mind is so-o-o much better isn’t it? And I LOVE the example of your friend’s birthday party. Isn’t a great experience like that what we all really crave anyway (and not some silly gifts that we’ll wonder what to do with the next day?) And like you said, the photos are memories that we can easily keep around forever if we want to remember the fun and connection. Really great idea! Thanks! ~Kathy
Susan Mary Malone says
August 18, 2017 at 7:44 AMFirst off, I just loved starting my online day with your post, Kathy! It sure put me in the right place 🙂
I’ve pretty much lived my whole adult life this way, with some falling off the wagon now and then! But especially now that I focus more on writing, the discipline sure helps.
Thank you for beginning my day with this post!
Kathy Gottberg says
August 19, 2017 at 8:11 AMThank you Susan! Good for you for having done this most of your life. I’ll admit that I wasn’t always such a big fan. Some of us have to learn the hard way huh? I kept thinking there was something good about all that “stuff” and the hamster wheel because so many people buy into it! (NPI!) Fortunately we did figure it out though and I’m happy to serve as cheerleader for the cause. And I agree, the discipline comes in handy in every area of our lives–writing included! ~Kathy
Leanne | www.crestingthehill.com.au says
August 18, 2017 at 6:37 AMI feel like we always had a seat on the ‘unclutter train’ because we’ve lived simply since the beginning (due to finances and due to both being tidy and not liking to be swamped by ‘stuff’) so minimalism and right sizing has been a good fit for us. I like how you encourage others to get on board too Kathy – it’s such a pleasant way of life.
Kathy Gottberg says
August 19, 2017 at 8:09 AMHi Leanne! I agree that it comes easier to some of us than others. And like we’ve talked about before, it REALLY helps to have been raised this way. But it is always good to welcome others, right? More importantly, is to keep sharing the benefits and advantages. Thanks for checking on this! ~Kathy