As many of you know, I am active on Facebook—most of the time. I enjoy it and not only does it help to spread the word about my blog and my books, I also find it fun to connect with people, stay up-to-date with family and friends, and to learn about things around the world. Even more importantly, I have a mission to share positive and inspiring news with others to remind us all that there is always more good in the world than not. But lately it’s been hard. About half of all Facebook posts these days are about politics. And while I do not tolerate hateful or violent remarks, I still find the tone of many to be fearful, angry and defensive.
So what does a SMART girl do? Some people just swear off of Facebook altogether, which is certainly one alternative. Instead, what I did was sit down and come up with ten things I believe can help me, and anyone who is interested, get through the next four months and stay sane. While they are not excuses to put our head in the sand and resort to “magical thinking,” they do help to keep us focused on those things we believe deep in our soul, rather than anything or fear and fight.
Here are my ten suggestions:
1) Turn off the news—or at least be very discriminating. I know, I know. I can almost hear the protests of some people who believe that if they don’t watch the news, they won’t know what is happening. However, as an individual who stopped watching the television news nearly ten years ago, I can testify that I have never once missed anything important. To the contrary, I know lots of people who watch the TV news religiously. And instead of being well informed, many of them just endlessly repeat the fear and suspicion regularly broadcast by biased news sources.
So, what is the alternative? What I recommend is that you find one or two news sources on the computer that are trust-worthy. How? Google it. What you will likely find is that BBC America is the least biased. Plus, here’s what I found when I Goggled the question about how the polarization of our country is being driven by the news sources we watch. This link, to a study done by PEW Research Center, explains the problem very well.
2) Hang out with Happy & Healthy People. Ever gone to someone’s home to visit and been assaulted by their television blasting a news commentary? I have. It is usually the last time I go. Far, far better to be alone than commiserate with people who are frightened or unhappy with themselves or the world.
Plus, scientific proof now exists showing that the people you hang out with strongly affect how you feel. Called “contagious behaviors,” social scientists repeatedly verify that our social network influences how we think, how we take care of ourselves (or not), our lifestyle habits, and even our political views. Not only are we 57% more likely to be obese if a close friend is obese, but we are also 20% more likely to be heavily overweight if a friend-of-a-friend is obese. You are 36% more likely to smoke if your friends smoke, and 11% more likely if a friend-of-a-friend smokes. Are your friends healthy and happy? Called the “three degrees of influence,” our actions are tied to those we know, and then those they know. It matters a great deal who we befriend.
3) Start a new project that excites you and makes you look forward to the future. Having a reason to get up in the morning and look forward to the future is the sign of a happy and healthy person. If your primary goal is to turn on the television or the computer to see what is happening in your world, your focus is external and sure to be influenced by whatever you see there. Instead, by finding something that stimulates your mind and makes your heart sing, you will be feeling good and optimistic about what comes next. Don’t let others determine your future. You decide.
4) Learn something new. After spending several years looking at the causes of depression and even brain disorders, evidence exists that people suffer when they stop learning and expanding their minds. Like exercise is necessary to keep our bodies healthy and fully functioning, lifelong learning provides ongoing workouts for our minds.
5) Spend time in nature. Last week my blog post explained why experiencing awe and wonder are so very important to us all. Nature reminds us that we live in an amazing Universe with limitless possibility. Want to remember the big picture. Then seek beauty and nature.
6) Exercise. Our bodies were made for movement not sitting, and especially not sitting in front of a television or computer for hours at a time. Any time we feel sluggish and unhappy, it may be because our bodies need to move.
7) Travel to another country. Whenever we travel to another country, it exposes us to experiences that are far beyond our ordinary. While it can be fun and rewarding to go to places that are comfortable and familiar and visit people we already know, the more unusual the journey, the more our minds are exposed to new and different things. Plus, when we see that people everywhere around the world want and need many of the same things we do, we learn to be more open and compassionate regardless of the color of their skin, their religious practices, or their daily habits. Travel opens our eyes and our hearts.
8) Volunteer and be of service to others. Helping others helps us. When we volunteer, or do anything compassionately for others, it gives us the opportunity to meet new people, learn new skills, and do something proactive for our community or cause. Best of all, volunteering takes our overthinking mind off of our own problems and concerns, and lets us look into the lives of others around us. Ninety-eight percent of those polled by the National Volunteering Network said that participating made them happier people.
9) Find new, fun and creative ways to engage your imagination. Be curious. Be open. Trust that you live in a world that is more creative and imaginative than all the problems that exist. That doesn’t mean you don’t get involved and do what you can when you see a problem. But it does require you to look for the solution instead of covering your head in despair. You might find that most of the time, most problems are simply a lack of imagination.
10) Meditate. If you aren’t already meditating and/or practicing mindfulness, this “season” is the perfect opportunity to get started. Really! As I’ve written about before there are dozens of reasons, backed up with scientific proof, that meditating can keep us sane, healthy and SMART. If you don’t believe me, just Google meditation or mindfulness and discover for yourself. How? Again, that information is available in dozens of places including here on SMART Living 365. But you might want to find a class in your local area. After you get started, you’ll likely discover that meditating with others is a powerful and rewarding experience.
I am well aware that most of these ideas seem obvious. Every one of you probably knows them and practices them on a regular basis. But if you are like me, you need to be reminded that these ideas can free us from the constant barrage of information, news and advertising being forced upon us from everywhere. Even Facebook, which is set up as entertainment, can put us in a serious place of fear and depression if we let it. Instead, by taking the time to work any of these ideas into our day, we have the ability to see the bright side of our lives. For those of us who want to stay sane, healthy and SMART, let’s be sure and practice and share them with everyone we know. Remember, our contagious behavior spreads to those around us. Let’s make sure we are spreading something good.
Did I miss anything? Do you have any tips you can share about how to stay SMART and sane in the coming months?
Hi Kathy! We have just been through what we consider a long election in Australia. A total of 8 weeks. I don’t know how you survive the build up campaigning in the US as elections seem to go on for ever. We get the news here daily about the US elections and I have to say I’m a little over it. At least you have taken the positive route and found a way to keep sane through the ‘circus’.
Hi Sue! You are SO lucky to have a much shorter political season than the U.S. It does go on, and on, and on. And yes, it’s pretty exhausting for most of us so finding ways to stay “sane through the circus’ is critical. Thanks for joining the conversation. ~Kathy
Hi Amin! I’m glad you enjoyed it even though U.S. politics probably doesn’t bother you too much. Still, many of these ideas about staying stress free should help no matter where you live in the world or whatever might be happening in your circumstances. Thanks as always for your comment. ~Kathy
I had gotten myself all worked up in the beginning of the primaries. The childishness of some, the fear of the EPA being eliminated or weakened and all the environmental concerns I hope daily will be addressed but wasn’t got to me. Finally, I had to escape if. Now I read through the top stories on the guardian every few days and then walk away and leave it behind. Like you said one person can’t change the outcome and I know that deep down. Instead I’m going about my normal business and working to make my own life a little better. The rest of the world, or government in this case, can catch up when it’s ready.
Hi Lois! I think you and I have covered the same emotional ground with this. It can be overwhelming if we let it and I think it’s important to realize that we are less effective or able to change things if we are scared to death or completely disgusted with what’s happening. Ultimately in the big picture, we can have a far greater influence on our local events, elections and those whose lives we touch on a regular basis, than we can yelling at the TV or arguing on FB. 🙂 Thanks for joining the conversation. ~Kathy
Thanks for writing about this-all your suggestions could really help in the “election cycle” months ahead. It will only get more intense after Labor Day.
Just wanted to add one note to your Point 5: Spend time in nature. A recent study of inmates in the harshest imprisonment conditions found that when they were exposed to a daily dose of nature videos, their behavior improved as did their moods and those of the prison guards. As a mood elevator, don’t sell nature short!
Hey Penpen! I completely agree that it’s best for us to figure out our sanity strategy before Labor Day gets here. And I thank you for sharing that bit about prison guards being improved by just watching nature videos. Just think what that might do for the inmates….and all of us! ~Kathy
I think I’m done spewing on Facebook, which is not normal for me at all. Although, as Beth said, it’s hard sometimes and I don’t want to stick my head in the sand. Great tips. I walk every morning. It’s my meditation and helps so much. Now I’m trying to find the comedy in the situation. Fortunately, that’s been easy.
Hey Rebecca! Yes to finding the humor. I believe that allows us all to stay in the “game” without taking it so damn seriously. I get that it’s important and will do my best to steer things in the way I believe most beneficial, but I refuse to give up my own mental health in the process. That’s why I appreciate writers like you who can make it all funny. If we can’t laugh at the absurdity then we’re in real big trouble. ~Kathy
Another great topic and list Kathy. It is great to have other, healthier things to do. The Olympics and football will help me…
Hi Gary! Thanks. And glad to hear that the Olympics and football will help you. Any other “professional” advice for the rest of us? ~Kathy
Great post, Kathy. I am trying to be good, but it’s hard. The election means so much for our country, so if I post too much, please let me know. I don’t want to lose any friendships. I do look forward in the evening to watching some non-politcal TV–wow the Olympics came at a great time–and then reading a good novel before bed. Take care, Beth
Hi Beth! Yes, didn’t the Olympics arrive at a good time and provide a more positive perspective on human qualities? I agree that the election is important and that we should be involved, but our country is a huge place and how it turns out will not be determined by any one of us alone. By using our voice to encourage others in a positive way I believe we can do much, much more than to guide people to better choices. And I think you do that, from your blog to your FB page. I don’t think you are in any danger of losing friendships. But if others see things so dramatically different, were they really friends to begin with? Thanks for jumping in this conversation and helping to illuminate this even more. ~Kathy
What great thoughts, Kathy. I have been away a good deal of the time this summer, and have been experiencing the awe and beauty of nature–without a computer or radio. It’s been so refreshing, that I continue to be VERY selective about the news i listen to and never watch television. When I do that, I am calmer and much more productive in the issues the matter to me.
The issue of the current politics is important since all of this is about our future leader, but I know I do not have to become totally engrossed in all the bizarre foolishness.
Hi Nora! If you’ve been able to completely stay away from radio, computer or tv, that is awesome. I do pretty well but find myself drawn in in spite of good intentions! The challenge of course, is to stay uber-mindful and do our best. And yes to how it keeps us more calm. Plus as you say, not get sucked into the bizarre foolishness. Good luck for the next 4 months!!! ~Kathy
You know I’m with you on this whole list! I got rid of cable almost 3 years ago, and I have never missed it.
I would add #11 – UNFOLLOW people who are posting too much political rhetoric on Facebook. They will never know, and if you usually like the things they post, you always have the option to follow them again later (after the election).
I “quit” politics just before the last presidential election, and I began to observe how worked up people would get, even when they were on the same “side.” People seem even more uptight and fearful this time. I had to unfollow several people who usually share positive posts. It’s too easy to get drawn into it.
Indeed, when I am inadvertently exposed to news, it feels like an assault. The fear and violence are just too much. I had to look a while, but I found a nail salon that doesn’t have a TV because I simply couldn’t sit there with it on.
Thank you for this list! I’ve enjoyed reading the comments my all these SMART women!
Hey Jamie! Welcome home and thanks for sharing your thoughts. And yes, the UNFOLLOW button is certainly an option (along with the unfriend if it gets REALLY bad!) Like I said in the post, I think most of my readers know all these things (and even more of course) but it SURE helps to be reminded. And good for you for finding a nail salon that doesn’t have a tv on!!! ~Kathy
Great advice, Kathy! I’m a bit of a political junkie, but even I can’t stand the vitriol of this election. I have hidden the posts of a friend or two so that I didn’t have to fight the urge to respond… it obviously wouldn’t do any good and it would just add fuel to the fire. Now, I happily scroll on by any political post (even if I agree) and have felt better for it. Off with the news (and, I agree, we don’t miss anything important) and on with positive, life-affirming activities!
Hi Janis! Yes, that is a good suggestion to just “hide” any post that really pushes our buttons. Most of the time I’m good at letting them scroll right by, but every now and then they really trigger me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written something out and then erased it before hitting the “post” button. (Thank goodness!) And YES to positive, life-affirming activities!!! ~Kathy
This is really a great list, Kathy! I can see why turning off the news is first on your list. I have one eye on GMA in the mornings and get some local news updates for weather and traffic, especially during the school year when I am working. We are very close to cancelling our DIsh network and just using local TV stations and Roku for streaming shows. I know my hubby will miss his football, (which I can take or leave), but he is willing to let it go. Getting our daily dose of fitness and leisure is also key!
Hi Terri! I think you’ve pointed out that watching “selectively” can be handled. But turning on the TV and just letting it run as background noise is like programming ourselves to whatever is being broadcast. That idea REALLY bothers me both from a thinking perspective AND from a consumer perspective. Plus, while those of us from a certain generation were not raised with that constant barrage, can you imagine children today being programmed that way? What we do watch is only what we DVR. That way at least we can also avoid any commercials AND if the show gets either too stupid or too violent we can stop or fast forward. That might be something that would work for football games if you husband just CAN’T let them go! 🙂 ~Kathy
Great list, Kathy! And I have an addition, for all the FB folks. I agree–man, the vitriol! And sadly, most of it is inaccurate to begin with. But, I have fun on FB, so I have a fail-safe method for surviving there during this season: Scroll through. It’s pretty easy, actually! Any political post, I just keep strolling by.
Because it looks to be a long season . . .
Hi Susan! Thank you! you are so right about just “scrolling through.” I’ve gotten so if I see a photo of either candidate I mostly just do that and feel much better. When it comes down to it we DON’T have to comment or read do we? Thanks for that suggestion! ~Kathy
We don’t have TV in our home for the last three years and don’t miss the news, Kathy. I do read stuff online to keep abreast of what’s happening, but the constant regurgitation of news is what I don’t miss.
You’ve got some great suggestions there. But I must say it’s hard even for me all the way in India not to get emotional about the present elections in the US.
I hope peace rules the day!
Hi Corinne! Oh please don’t let yourself be sucked into the U.S political drama. While most in our country can’t seem to avoid it–we need the rest of the world to stay calm and send good thoughts! And YES to peace ruling the day! ~Kathy
I choose comedy over newscasts and still some of the rhetoric surrounding the upcoming election is unavoidable but served up with laughs instead of heated passion and criticism makes it more palatable. I usually avoid newscasts; some of it borders on propaganda. What’s the old saying? – believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see? And finally, I’m reminded of what my cousin says – Something will happen. I am curious to see what comes of all the political posturing after the election.
Hi Mona! Yes to the comedies. Although Thom and I were big fans of some of the political comedians on TV until lately when we’ve almost stopped watching all of them as well. I understand why Jon Stewart had to quit and take a sabbatical. I think he said he had done 4 elections (or at least 2) and just couldn’t do it any more. Although I WILL probably watch him on HBO next month because I do find his thinking so inspiring!
But please tell your cousin I VERY MUCH appreciate the perspective that “something will happen.” And there will be some people who are happy and others who are not. While we might not get what we want or think HAS to happen, the choice about happiness is always ours. ~Kathy
Hi Cathy,
I am glad, I subscribed to your blog.
I enjoyed – The Cure For Worry, Fear and Narcissism.
Also, I enjoyed all the more today’s mail-10 Ways To Stay Sane, Healthy And SMART During The Next 4 Months of Politics.
Well, I am a retired senior citizen age-68 yrs, staying in Western Suburb- Borivli- Mumbai- India. I have retired from my business since last 2 1/2 yrs. I have started enjoying life more after retirement. Have developed Cooking & travelling hobbies. I am meeting more friends & relatives now. Will be thankful to recive your interesting mails.
Hi Vinod Araiya! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living 365 from the other side of the planet! I am glad you find some of my ideas interesting and helpful. I look forward to more of your thoughts in the future. ~Kathy
Great list Kathy. I met a friend at a hotel bar and the TV was on to the convention and you would have thought it was some sports game. These folks were seriously agitated and seriously drinking. My take away was speculating on the coronary incidences this election season may induce!
My facebook page is also filled with hateful comments about politics … and ironically, there seems to be more name calling from the left than the right. Anyway, your advice is stellar — get involved in your own constructive activities rather than obsessing about things you cannot control.
Hi Tom! I know you’ve written a couple of things on your blog about politics and I admire your balanced perspective. I personally think that is the best way to approach the topic (if at all!) And yes to your reminder about staying involved in our own “business” instead. Can you imagine the world if we all did that regularly instead of being carried away by the drama? ~Kathy
Hi Haralee! Yes, I think we all have our own tolerance level but I have a difficult time seeing politics as a “sport!” And I think I’ve read that there is actually more “physical abuse toward women and children during the Superbowl precisely because it incites so much anger and emotion. I sure hope that doesn’t happen as well. ~Kathy