As many of you know Thom and I have been on the path of simplifying our lives for several years. Every January we like to sit down and discuss ways we can better live that example during the coming year. But in case you haven’t noticed, there are many people offering lots of advice that it’s challenging to decide which way to approach the topic. So while we don’t consider ourselves experts on the subject, we do think it’s helpful to list what we consider to be most important. From that point forward we each can then decide where and how we can put our attention during 2014.
So here are our Top 10 Commandments:
- You get to make it up. If we’ve learned anything about simple living or minimalism in the last 10 years it is that there is no final authority or rules you have to follow. Each of us gets to decide the way that we create a lifestyle that best reflects our deepest longings. So while these commandments are meant to reflect what Thom and I consider most important, be sure that they feel true to you before you follow them. And if something else works better for you, then don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t doing it right.
- The best things in life aren’t things. We know this. In the deepest part of ourselves we know that the stuff we buy and own offers only temporary happiness. Freedom, peace of mind and joy are deep emotions that offset anything you can buy and possess. While what truly matters to me is likely somewhat different than what matters to you, it is seldom about stuff and usually about experiences. Decide what is important to you and what makes you deeply happy and strive to fill your life with that.
- Less is more. Most of us were raised with the idea that more is better–more money, more stuff, more productivity, more everything. Instead, what becomes apparent very easily is that all that “more-ness” only complicates, confuses and distracts us from the peace, joy and freedom that a minimal life offers. Seek quality versus quantity in all things. Recognize that everything you own—owns a piece of you in terms of time, money, energy and emotion—so choose wisely. Plus, by eliminating all the clutter from our too-busy minds and our over-packed lives, we find ourselves in the peaceful center of what’s most important.
- Debt is the Worst Poverty. Debt is a heavy burden that colors all the beauty in the world. Debt asks us to work at jobs that suck the life out of us just to pay our bills. Debt keeps us up at night and causes us to fear the future. Debt enslaves us to a life of routine and conformity. It is nearly impossible to feel at peace, happy or content with the weight of debt on our shoulders. The good news is that the exact opposite—being debt free—is one of the most liberating things any of us can do to live a good life.
- What you appreciate—appreciates. There is a natural law in our Universe, just like gravity, that says that what we focus on grows. When we put our attention on the things that bring us peace, joy and contentment, then they expand in our awareness. Turning away from the complicated, the painful, the unnecessary and the confusing manages the opposite. Choosing instead to be grateful for the benefits that exist in our life right now, and striving toward freedom and peace of mind—all help to amplify the good around us.
- Comparison is the thief of joy. Theodore Roosevelt said this statement many years ago reminding us that any time we compare and compete with others we are usually putting other people’s needs, wants, opinions and desires above our dreams. Comparison routinely puts our focus on other people and what they have and how they do things rather than allowing us to decide what is most important and rewarding to ourselves alone. Letting go of comparison is a sure way to enjoy true peace of mind and wellbeing
- Treasure Your Relationships Not Your Possessions. We all know deep down that money doesn’t buy love or happiness. Yet we continue to spend much of our lives (and time) doing things that either keep us away from loved-ones or working to maintain a lifestyle merely to provide support for those loved ones. When we stop and consider that those who care most about us would rather be with us than managing stuff in the first place, then we let go of expectations and requirements keeping us away from the deep relationships we crave.
- Slow down and stop the addiction to busy-ness. Simple living asks us to spend time doing more of what brings us joy, and less time doing the opposite. It also asks us to sometimes spend time doing absolutely nothing. When we learn to eat more slowly, drive more slowly, enjoy the world more slowly, and meditate, we find that much of what is right there in front of us contains every single thing we want and need.
- There is no Planet B. It is important to keep in mind that all 7+ billion humans alive today are currently living in a closed biosphere. Just as we are charged with taking care of our own families, our own households, our own neighborhoods—if we don’t take care of our planet and realize that we each hold responsibility for it, there won’t be anywhere else for us to go and “practice simple living!” This idea also reminds us that not only are we connected to the planet, we are also connected to one another.
- Life is short—do what matters. Face it; our time is limited and far too short to be wasting it on unimportant or un-meaningful ways. Working at any job just to make money is a waste of your life. Living to appease or satisfy others is a waste of your soul. Mindlessly killing time doing routine, boring or repetitive tasks is a waste of everything possible. Dulling your brain with too much TV, alcohol, Internet, or other forms of escapism is just a waste. Instead, every one of us regardless of circumstances, is capable of so very much more than we usually enjoy. Our possibilities are endless—do what matters.
As I said in the beginning, I don’t think Thom and I are experts on this topic but we do spend a lot of time talking about it and making it work for us. We’ve even renamed the experience to “right-sizing” rather than simple living or minimalism. We did that because we believe that if each of us rightsized our life we would likely find a way to express simple living and minimalism in a way that suits our exact needs and personality perfectly.
Ultimately it doesn’t matter if you believe in these commandments or not. But it is probably SMART for each of us to take the time to consider whether the simple lifestyle of peace, happiness and contentment appeals to us, and then figure out the qualities that best lead to our unique forms of a right-sized life. Best of all, each of us can start right where we are.
This post is part of a blog hop at Urban Naturale.com as well as a blog hop at: Sustainable Suburbia.com
(Above: Charlton Heston dressed as Moses during a sequence of the film “The Ten Commandments”.) (Digital Press Photo)
Hi Kathy!
I just popped over here from Lois’s link-up and I’m glad I did–we are like-minded souls! This is a wonderful post full of sage advice. Looking forward to reading more from you!
Warmly,
Joy
Hi Joy! Welcome to SMART Living and thank you for taking time to comment. I think I’ve been by your blog too and LOVE your name. There is much to be joyful about when going green and letting others know about it is GOOD. ~Kathy
Fantastic points Kathy. It is far too easy to forget about some of these things, even when you know how important they are
Hey Robert! Thanks for dropping by SMART Living! I know after reading your blog that you definitely know most of these things but if you’re anything like me then you can use LOTS of reminders. The challenge is always to keep reminding ourselves over and over and then sharing what we’ve learned. Thanks again for coming by. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy!
Great article! Ever since the economy crashed I’ve felt we really need to revisit what’s important in life. And the things that are, are simple. I actually use simple as an acronym for the important aspects of one’s life (or at least what I think is important!). I started a series on my blog about it. I also feel at this time in our lives (over 50), if we haven’t done it already, it’s the perfect time to weed out all the unnecessary stuff. Stumbling on your post was so timely!
Hi Barbara and so great to meet you too! I completely agree that once we hit a certain age that it makes our lives so much more rewarding and enjoyable if we can strip away all the superficial and really focus on what matters. I look forward to checking our you blog and staying connected. Thanks again for coming by. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy,
I acknowledge the fact that each January many of tend to sit down and explore ways we can live better during the coming year–as well as the reality that we don’t always stick to our resolutions. But every year I (we) try yet again. So I appreciate and embrace the idea of creating simple principles/commandments to live by. I especially treasure commandment #7: “Treasure Your Relationships Not Your Possessions”. I also enjoyed reading many of your other helpful blog posts. I’m just pinning, tweeting and sharing with others! Thank you so much for sharing these valuable insights with us at the Healthy, Happy, Green & Natural Blog Hop!
I sincerely appreciate it!
All the best, Deb
Hi Deborah! Thank you so much for popping over here on SMART Living and leaving a comment. I know your own site keeps you really busy so I very much appreciate it. Glad you liked my “commandments.” I had such fun coming up with them and as with most of the things I write here, they always help me remember what I believe to be of upmost importance. Thanks again for stopping by and for your ongoing blog hops. They are always great! ~Kathy
Hi Kathy. I appreciate your tenth commandment in particular. As Goethe said, “Life is sweeping by.” Best wishes to you and Thom.
Hi Narelle! Thank you so much for stopping by SMART Living and sharing a thought! I agree it should be obvious that we appreciate every single day but I sure like to be reminded of it don’t you? Your Goethe quote is great and fits perfectly with his other quote, “Every second is of infinite value.” I plan to spend today remembering them both! Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Wow, I just love these commandments, Kathy! I know we’ve heard many of them but to actually commit to ‘living’ them is another thing…I’ve learned some of these commandments through lessons (mostly hard ones) but I don’t regret any of them. Thanks for these beautiful reminders!!
Hi Lisa! Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation. I agree that all of these are not quite as “easy” to live as they sound 🙂 But like most things we do in life they do get easier as we go along. And oh yes….some of them only come after we’ve been living for a while and “become our story!” Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Great list, Kathy. Like you said, once we’ve made a choice to live simply, we’ve got to make up the rules for ourselves. Jose and I too choose to live simply and debt-free – we use credit cards, but only because it’s convenient and make sure we pay all dues at the end of the month. We do indulge ourselves, for example, we get regular massages, but we’ve found that to be important for our well-being.
However, I’ve realized with all that’s available out there, you have to keep re-evaluating and making choices based on what’s good for you and for the environment, and attempting to make a difference in the world.
Hi Corinne! Thank you for your persistence. I know you had a little trouble logging in and leaving this message so it is MUCH appreciated!
And thank you also for bringing up an important point that often gets overlooked. Most people equate simple living or minimalism with sacrifice. It is actually the complete opposite! Since Thom and I “right-sized” our lifestyle, eliminated our debt and started focusing on those things that bring the most joy and satisfaction, I’ve never felt so “wealthy” in my entire life. I’ll bet you feel the same. We too fill our lives with things like massages (because we both love them) and travel, but we stay about buying lots of stuff because those things mean little to us. Of course as you say this is a constantly changing perspective so it is necessary to re-evaluate things as life goes by. All good stuff! Thank you again for your thoughtful reply! ~Kathy
Aaah, you hit a nerve with me with the thing about debt. I agree, being debt-free is a great goal. I’m in debt, and I hate it.
BUT, when I left my abusive b-f several years ago, I had to go into debt to cover the security deposit for the new apartment, pay moving costs, and invest in some simple furnishings, like chairs, and a bed. Still digging my way out, but not sorry for a moment I didn’t wait until I had the funds saved up to leave. And sometimes people go into debt for medical bills, for themselves or a loved one.
All ten commandments here are good ones.
Hi Beverly! Thanks for stopping by and adding your thoughts about these “commandments.” Of course I completely agree that going into debt to cover something that is by far in your best interests is important. I see that kind of debt as an investment in your future that will almost always pay off.
Unfortunately most of us go into debt because we think that’s just what you do. Go to college and get a degree (not because it is your calling but because it pays good?) or buy a big house to impress people, or buy shoes, clothes, furniture, etc. to impress other people thinking that will make us feel good? Buying a really nice car, again for the momentary “high” of it rather than the reality of what those monthly payments will cost in the long run. I can point all those things out because I’ve done parts of them myself and see just about everyone I know doing (or trying to do) the same thing.
However, going into debt to start a new business that you feel is your calling, going to college to do something you believe you were put on Earth to do, paying medical expenses for yourself or loved ones–that kind of debt is very different. And although it can be tough to repay, the reward for doing something you felt guided to do is very different. Thanks for offering this perspective Beverly. ~Kathy
These are great and all in a concise place. I often try to put relationships above doing. And I stop saying all the time that I have so much to do. I just go with the flow and t is much less stressful!
Hi Jodi! Great to hear from you! I’m glad you like my “commandments.” I know these aren’t new to most of you but if you’re anything like me you like to be reminded on a regular basis. You are one of the first ones to point out the one about relationships and yet it could easily be #1 on this list because it is so VERY important! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. ~Kathy
GREAT list. I gratefully realize that I have an abundant life and the abundance has nothing to do with money.
Hi Connie! I think your awareness of your abundance in all things is a big key to a SMART and happy life! Isn’t it wonderful to have that knowingness that your life is filled with such amazing good? While it isn’t always easy to look beyond any appearance to the contrary, the peace and satisfaction that generally fills your life is reason enough to continue. Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation! ~Kathy
Hello from my adventure in Belize!
Once again you have created a masterpiece. This will be one column that will stay with me for a long time. It will be a beautiful reminder.
Internet is sparse here so still working on your material. But it may be only possible when I get home.
I have tried so many new things here but I will have to wait to share them.
Hi Kelly in Belize!! I can only imagine what a great time you’re having and I can’t wait to hear of some of your adventures during your trip. Isn’t that just a great example of how our experiences are so much more valuable and long-lasting than mere stuff? No worries about getting back to me about my upcoming book. Enjoy your trip to the fullest and bring those stories home to share with us all on your return! ~Kathy
Beautifully done! My favourite is #7. And #6. And #4. Oh, and #2. Oh, let’s just face it – numbers 1 through 10!
Hi Diane! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living and sharing which ones you like best! Ha! Music to my ears that you liked them all!! I supposed it comes down to the fact that we all know all these things…but it sure doesn’t hurt to be reminded now and then. Thanks again for your comment. ~Kathy
Hi Kathy, Great post as per usual. I resonate with many of these (as you know). Love reading your blog – keep it up girlfriend!
Hi Cheryl! So great to hear from you! I know you are super, super busy these days and hear me plenty already so I consider it a big act of friendship for you to pop by and leave a comment. Thank you and see you soon! ~Kathy
Kathy, all wonderful ideas. I am making this the year to start uncluttering, literally and figuratively. And, while I see many of these that I find important what I’m also struck by is the relationship you have with your husband–your mutual goals and the conversations you’re having about the life you want to live.
Hi Walker! Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation. I know from some of your comments on Facebook that you are considering “right-sizing” your life and I think 2014 is a great year to get started. Un-cluttering both literally and figuratively is a perfect place to start. And yes, I do believe that it helps tremendously to be in deep conversation and compatible with those in your life when undertaking such a plan. We regularly admit to one another that the only thing we can’t live without is each other 🙂 Thanks again for stopping by. ~Kathy
Best advice I’ve heard in a long time. Especially the one about debt.
Hi Janie! Thanks for stopping by SMART Living….so glad you think the information is helpful….it’s only taken half a lifetime for me to gather it so I’m very pleased if it saves anyone else half the time 🙂 ~Kathy
Number 6 is probably the hardest for anyone because we are bombarded with images of the homes and lifestyles of others. Even in simple living or minimalism I ran into images that while beautiful could not work for me because I have different interests. For a long time I didn’t want to associate myself with the term minimalism because there are some really hard core minimalists out there who have this set of rules on what you can have or not have to be “accepted”. It’s much easier to live by your own music.
Hi Lois! It looks like #6 is taking the lead for the favorite commandment. Of course that’s not surprising because as you say, “we are bombarded with images of the homes and lifestyles of others.” I agree that there are so many different interpretations, including mine, but as you say we all have many different interests. That’s why number 1 ends up being one of my top favorites because It’s much easier to live by our own music. ~Kathy
Love this post Kathy. They are the true 10 Commandments for a happy life. I would just add one more and that is “learn to beat your own drum” and forget about what other people think of you. Although that works in with number 6 pretty much.
Hi Kathy! Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation. Yep! Number 6 seems to be really hitting a nerve with a lot of us 🙂 I so agree that it is very similar with “learning to beat our own drum” because isn’t that just realizing that who we are is enough, and that right where we are contains more good and possibility than we usually realize? Now I have to pop over and check out that “Icing on the Cake!” ~Kathy
Wonderful, wise post… so much good stuff here! I’ve been thinking a lot about #6 over the past while – something to work on in 2014, that’s for sure. Thank you for your insights.
Hi Laurel! Nice to hear from you and thank you for your comments. I think #6 is taking the lead so far for being a favorite and that’s probably because we all realize how easy it is to get sucked into the game of comparing and one-up-manship in our culture. And as bloggers AND women we especially know how easy that is right? Glad you found it helpful! ~Kathy
These are great Kathy! #4 and #6 particularly resonate with me. Excellent post!
Hi Nancy! Glad you liked this post….and yes, #4 and #6 are so very important. Both of those I have learned from life experiences and once you “get them” the freedom that comes is amazing. ~Kathy
So true! # 2 and #7 and #10 resonate with me most. Life is such a gift and the more mornings one realizes that, truly the more generous that gift is. Love your list!
Hi Raquel! Thanks for stopping by and letting me know your favorites. They are definitely a collection of what I’ve read and experienced from other writers and teachers on the subject AND our own personal experiences. As you say, “life is such a gift…” and I truly believe (as you obviously do too) that the more we embrace our version of the lifestyle the happier we are. ~Kathy
I love #6 – along the same lines as struggling to keep up with the Jones! It is all to easy to become distracted with what others value and falsely assume that we value the same. Talk about freedom when you no longer have to compete but are instead happy with you and your own wonderful life. As you say it is all about enjoying the moment now. 🙂
Hi Dave! Thanks for popping in here and letting me know which one you enjoyed the most. And yes about #6–it is so very easy to, as you say, “become distracted with what other value and falsely assume that we value the same.” I’ll bet you see that often your work on retirement as well. Getting clear about what is important to us individually is so important for our entire lives! The freedom that comes from that is so transformative. ~Kathy